To Duong

Sitting for a while longer I made up an excuse to get into my room, not any longer. It was also at this moment that I realized something that 'as long as my heart is still fluttering, I just need to look at it for a long time and wish to be with me.'

It has already been so long, I thought it would sink into the past, thought time would vanish, and finally discovered that it was always present in my mind.

As you are always in my heart, reigning in my heart, filled with sorrow.

Like one day of that year, when I was seventeen, when the last sunset of the day faded and merged with the horizon, on the school's rooftop, where my young girl's heart was full of love and enthusiasm. Precisely engraved with the name of To Duong.

I want to be with him, want to appear in his growing up process, only regret all the memories of the love story between him and me forever stopping in that year.

Those thoughts made me sit blankly in front of the desk for a long time, countless images kept appearing in my head, but all of them were not in order, as if a movie was interrupted, just relying on the scenes shot. Manage to build.

Only when the blow on the exterior door repeated for the third time, my conscience could come back, the person outside was my father.

He was still quite happy after seeing Duong off, at this time he came to me again and asked about everything, and told me that in the future, he would only consider him as his brother, just for my father's sake. Like a great deal.

The fact that my dad loves To Duong is not too surprising, because the person he always makes other people really fond of. And I appreciate that myself, because it is also because of that I can see you again.

But there is no way for me to look at Duong like my brother! Never and I will never see you as someone else but... my lover.

Since then, everything he said to me has not been in my ears, only one sentence made my heart beat as soon as I heard it.

"Young people are gifted, but it's too bad."

"Yes?" I was just as important as if I wanted to intervene in and ask for clarification. My intuition told me that statement was related to me.

"You're still young, we'll talk about these things later." I could clearly see the guilt in his eyes, as if he had just said something he shouldn't have said or reacted like that.

Looking at this incident, I am more and more sure that my hunch is right, I was about to ask until the end when my father went out, before closing the door, only leaving a message telling me not to worry about such things what.

I have also stopped asking, in any case, there is no need to dig in the past in relation to the present.

From this day forth, I always went to the company as usual, as if the sudden meeting had never been taken place.

But lately something is very different, it seems that the frequency of seeing To Duong and I am increasing, it is really very strange.

As well, he was not supposed to show up at my place of work, but today is the fourth time in a week that I have seen him here.

I'm not the only one who finds this strange, everybody is vaguely aware of it, it's just that nobody says it. Or maybe they did, but not for my benefit.

The highlight was that today, our team had one meeting that was not very important, but the chair was To Duong.

I wonder how weird that it is?

I myself started to realize the danger, that if I continued to face it this way, it would certainly be revealed.

Surely he will find out my secret, for others I certainly can't, but with Duong I have no confidence that I will be able to hide it from him, he is so smart.

I have never been able to hide anything from him for too long, almost looking into my eyes he would know everything.

As this time... he already understood me a great deal, more than himself.

It scared the hell out of me. Initially, I intended to tell him the truth, but when I discovered that things were no longer what I expected, that intention also slowly disappeared.

I know I'm very selfish, I can't accept that he's with someone else, and I can't accept that he loves someone other than me, so now I can't let him find out about this.

Because I'm human regardless of what happens to her. I am not a saint, and she is not, that which I can not accept myself should not be imposed upon her.

I... can't break happiness from others due to my selfishness. This result is caused by me, I should have taken it, I have no right to force anyone to carry it for me, and no one has the obligation to do it for me.

Those thoughts made me start to avoid Duong, it's not that I don't dare to face him, because even in my dreams I want to be next to him, but what makes me hesitate is that ring, which I always wear on his ring finger.

I have never seen him take it off, his respect is like an expression of expressing his love for the owner of the other ring.

A person who is not like me anymore!

I avoid it instinctively, almost every time I get close, I don't dare look at him into his eyes. Feeling like a kid doing bad things to fear of being discovered someone else.

I could only hide quietly in the darkness, where he could not see, but surely gazed at him from a distance. Every repetition like this makes it so difficult, I don't know how long I can last.