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You Gain One, You Lose One

You Gain One, You Lose One

Oleh:  A Pot of ButterTamat
Bahasa: English
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I double over in pain after assisting Adrian Randall with a late-night operation. He immediately carries me to a ward to check on me. However, before he can do that, he receives a call from a patient and hurries off. That night, I miscarry. When I come out of the operating theater, I see his childhood friend's social media update. She's shared a photo of her baby bump. "He hurried to come to my side just because I was lost. You have to treat Adrian well in the future, my darling!" I rub my belly, which throbs with a dull ache. I don't cry and demand an explanation from Adrian as I would have in the past. Instead, I like the post and apply for a position on the Borderless Medical Assistance Program. The day I leave, the high and mighty Dr. Randall looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. He asks, "How can you bear to leave me behind?"

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Chapter 1

When I learned it was a miscarriage, I called Adrian Randall more than ten times. But no one answered.My best friend, Celeste Logan, a gynecologist, held my hand and comforted me for a long time before I finally agreed to get on the operating table.Because I had a low tolerance for anesthesia, I woke up in pain several times. Each time, I hoped to see Adrian by my side. But he wasn't there.It wasn't until after the surgery that he sent a message that read, "Katelyn is my patient. I have a responsibility toward her. I hope you understand."Every time he left me to deal with Katelyn Russo, he would send me a similar message.Clutching my stomach, I sat in Celeste's office to rest. I lifted my hand and typed a line of text into our chat: "But this time, I needed you more."After thinking about it, I deleted it and typed a new message: "Okay, Dr. Randall."Even though Celeste tried to persuade me to stay in the hospital to rest, I didn't heed her advice. If I did as she suggested...

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11 Bab
Chapter 1
When I learned it was a miscarriage, I called Adrian Randall more than ten times. But no one answered.My best friend, Celeste Logan, a gynecologist, held my hand and comforted me for a long time before I finally agreed to get on the operating table.Because I had a low tolerance for anesthesia, I woke up in pain several times. Each time, I hoped to see Adrian by my side. But he wasn't there.It wasn't until after the surgery that he sent a message that read, "Katelyn is my patient. I have a responsibility toward her. I hope you understand."Every time he left me to deal with Katelyn Russo, he would send me a similar message.Clutching my stomach, I sat in Celeste's office to rest. I lifted my hand and typed a line of text into our chat: "But this time, I needed you more."After thinking about it, I deleted it and typed a new message: "Okay, Dr. Randall."Even though Celeste tried to persuade me to stay in the hospital to rest, I didn't heed her advice. If I did as she suggested
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Chapter 2
Adrian looked down at me for a moment, then suddenly smiled. He asked, "Why didn't you cry this time?""What?""Every time I look after Katelyn, don't you always end up crying? You would cry and beg me for an explanation."I smiled and shook my head. "I had three surgeries today, so I'm too exhausted to cry."He didn't press further. Only after replying to Katelyn's message did he finally speak again."How's your health holding up?"I froze for a moment. Then, I turned my head and glanced at the pill pack I had just emptied.Even though Adrian was a cardiac surgeon, he knew what this kind of gynecological medicine meant—because the patient he cared most about was pregnant. Yet, from beginning to end, he hadn't noticed anything about me."I'm fine." I smiled. "There's something I want to talk to you about.""Go ahead." However, as soon as he responded, his phone rang. He didn't even pause as he answered the call.From the other end of the line came Katelyn's tearful voice. "Dr
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Chapter 3
I was about to knock on the door but stopped mid-motion when I recognized the voice as Adrian's.Katelyn was sobbing. "But this is a life we're talking about. I can't bear to let him go."Adrian's voice was filled with unprecedented anger. "Why do you insist on having a child with him? Why does he get to, while I—""Adrian!" Katelyn interrupted him. Then, she asked in a quivering voice, "Have you lost your mind?"I curled my hand, still posed to knock, into a fist.In the three years I had been with Adrian, no matter how much I cried or argued with him over Katelyn, he had never been this angry.Everyone said Adrian was calm and collected, never one to lose his temper. As it turned out, it was just because he hadn't met someone who could truly stir his emotions.A soft whine came from Adrian. "Sorry, I was too impulsive. Just pretend I didn't say anything."When the room fell silent, I knocked on the door."Dr. Randall, are you here? I have a medical case that needs your atten
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Chapter 4
I had barely taken two steps when Adrian called out from behind me."Dr. Gilmore, Katelyn has surgery this afternoon. We'll need to coordinate."I paused and turned back. "I know."He looked at me. "What I mean is, I hope you won't let personal feelings interfere with your work."I gave a small, bitter smile. "So when you were comforting me earlier, was it because you were afraid I'd let jealousy affect how I treat her surgery?"He shook his head. "That's not what I said."I smiled faintly. "First of all, I'm not jealous. Secondly, I'm a doctor too, Dr. Randall."He frowned slightly.I closed the office door behind me.Katelyn's condition was complicated.She was a pregnant woman undergoing cardiac surgery. The operation ended up taking far longer than expected. There were even a few unexpected complications.Adrian, as the lead surgeon, gave his orders quickly and clearly."0.1 micrograms of epinephrine, stat.""Got it." For a brief second, a wave of dizziness swept over
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Chapter 5
Behind Adrian was a freshly baked cake."I said I would make up for your birthday." He smiled at me. "Did you think I forgot?"I looked at the beautifully decorated cake and smiled. I said, "Yeah. I'm quite surprised.""Wendy." He looked at me. "I know you've been upset these past few days. It's my fault for not noticing sooner that something was off. But—""The cake smells delicious." I cut in, leaning down to take a whiff before turning to him with an outstretched hand. "Did you bring the candles?"He was caught off guard by my interruption but eventually handed me the candles, gazing at me with a look that seemed like he wanted to say something but was holding himself back.I evenly spaced the candles into the frosting.He frowned and said, "Wendy, you—"I extended my hand toward him again. "Where's the lighter?"He looked displeased. Nevertheless, he still handed me the lighter."Don't talk now. Making a wish is a sacred moment.""Alright."I lit the candles and clasped
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Chapter 6
Adrian frowned and said, "Are you about to—""Dr. Randall! Your patient is refusing to take her meds again. She says she won't do it unless you're there," a colleague said from outside the door.Adrian immediately let go of my hand and stood up."Got it.""Adrian—"He turned to me. "Dr. Gilmore, I have to go."I froze for a second. Then, with a smile, I cut a slice of cake and handed it to him."Medicine tastes bitter. Bring Katelyn a piece of cake."He paused for a moment but still took the cake and walked out.The colleague who had called him over leaned in, clearly trying to fish for gossip."Dr. Gilmore, is there something going on between you two? Otherwise, why would Dr. Randall care so much about you?"I was caught off guard, but then quickly laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. We're just colleagues."The hospital director approved a few days off for me on the day I got my passport.Celeste and I went out to celebrate at a bar. I usually wouldn't go to places like this,
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Chapter 7
"Stop talking nonsense. We're just colleagues," I said. "Would a colleague stay by your side all night if you fainted? It's not like we weren't there to witness it.""You misunderstood. We're just good partners. If one person collapses, it's normal for the other to care."My colleagues gave me skeptical looks."Well, he didn't even sleep a wink the whole night. You should've seen the way Dr. Randall looked at you when you passed out."I smiled but had no response to offer. They probably hadn't seen how Adrian looked at Katelyn when anything bad happened to her.I insisted, "You guys have really gotten it all wrong. He and I are just close colleagues.""Is that so? Why don't you look behind you then?"I turned around.Adrian was sitting at the single table by the window in his usual attire. The ice cubes in his drink had already melted, and water droplets ran down the side of the glass, dampening the surrounding surface. Yet, his hand remained resting on the glass."He sat th
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Chapter 8
Smiling, I picked up Adrian's phone. Then, I accepted the call and put the phone to his ear.Faint cries from Katelyn could be heard from the other end of the line.Adrian instantly grabbed the phone from my hand."I'll be right there," he said.I was left standing on the balcony as he walked a few steps away. Then, as if remembering something, he turned back and explained, "It's an emergency. Katelyn had a miscarriage.""Alright," I replied indifferently.His gaze lingered on my face for a moment, but then he turned and hurried toward Katelyn."Are you coming back later?" I asked.His hand paused on the doorknob, and without turning his head, he said, "Yes."I packed the last of my things and placed the suitcase beside the couch. Then, I took a seat and waited for Adrian to return home.Although this relationship never had a proper beginning, it should have a proper ending. However, instead of seeing Adrian, I saw an Instagram post from Katelyn.She had taken a picture of
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Chapter 9
I shoved the ring box into Adrian's hand and said, "Hold onto this properly. Katelyn's still waiting for you.""But this is for you," he said.His words caused everyone to gasp collectively."Thank you." I smiled gently. "But it's not going to happen."Another collective gasp sounded, followed by whispers."What does she mean by that?""Could it be that the two of them…""Um… We have other matters to attend to. You two stay and chat."Soon, the office cleared out, leaving just Adrian and me.Adrian looked at me, waiting for me to say something, like I usually did.I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and asked, "How about we grab something to eat?"He tried to steady his breath. "Aren't you going to explain yourself?"I smiled at him. "Let's not talk about that. What do you say we go to that steakhouse where we first met?"…"It's really hard to get a chance to sit down and have a proper chat with you," I said, sitting across from Adrian. I handed him the menu.Instead
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Chapter 10
Adrian put the call on speaker mode."Adrian, I really want to die right now. I just can't help it. If you don't come, I'll jump," Katelyn said.It seemed that she was up her same old tricks.This was the move Katelyn had used before. Back then, Adrian left me alone on my birthday to rush to her side, only to be met with her leaping into his arms.She said, "Gotcha! I just missed you, that's all."I smiled at Adrian, waiting for his answer.He then got to his feet and said, "Wendy, this will be the last time."And just like that, he left the restaurant, leaving only me and the dinner for two.I smiled briefly, then picked up my cutlery and quietly started eating.I wasn't the least bit surprised that he would walk away. It was precisely because I knew that he would choose to leave me again that I dared to make such a bold promise.I was going to Solaria, no matter what.Before leaving the country, I blocked Adrian's contact information. I also warned Celeste and a few truste
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