My life's biggest secret and a grey wolf

CHAPTER -5

It's Amanda's birthday today. I was indeed invited but I didn't attend the party cause I don't have any guts to watch Jordan, my first love getting engaged with Amanda. I just looked out from my window hearing them laugh, dance on a beat the whole night.

I just wonder, things could have been much better if I could have been able to transform into the werewolf. I would have earned respect in my pack's eye, I would have been loved by my father and I would have been the one to be mated to Jordan without any difficulties instead of Ananda. Yeah, if I was a wolf, Jordan's father could have at least accepted me because he knew his son had feelings for me.  With all the hurtful thoughts in my heart. I moved towards my bed and forced myself to sleep covering my face with a pillow myself to sleep.

"F*CK you selfish west forests! " I abruptly stood from the bed and shrieked facing myself towards the west forest castle cause their tumult as destroying my eardrum. 

 I hopped to my bed and force again myself to sleep covering me all around with my fluffy white blankets. 

And the next day, when we were ready to go to school, this time Jordan didn't come with us. He was escorting Amanda towards her car's seat and he seemed as if he kinda felt off. Amanda gave me an evil smile looking at me and Jordan as if she had won some lottery. (Actually yeah ! she did !)

Ella grabbed my hand and took me into her car so I won't cry in front of them. I sobbed leaning my head towards her chest and wept bitterly in her arms and it was the best warm spot to lean my sorrows here. She supported and encouraged me to move on cause sometimes we just have to give in for someone's good and happiness.

 It 

When we reached school, Amanda was already there crossing her arms with Jordan's. She was bragging that from now on Jordan is her mate And soon they will leave school to continue their life together.  Jeez! you have mated already so why need to brag ??

 He doesn't have a clue about me liking him so it won't get his hopes up and we should accept the fate offered by our moon Goddess and be happy in our life. It hurts to see him like that but it's ok I just wish him to be happy and be adjustable in his new relationship.   We were not meant to be together anyway.  Cause I was not in my place to get my hopes up. This dream was not meant for me and now I must accept my fate.

Time passed in the blink of an eye, this month Ella also was fated with her mate after her 18th birthday.  I heard from my brother Victor that she was mated with the Lakewood forest's Alpha king's son Eugene Johannes.  She left me a letter saying she would come to meet me soon and apologized for not telling me about her mate cause everything happened so fast that she was not able to tell me about it. I  was so happy for my Ella cause now she has met her mate who would love her as she expected.  I sighed in sorrow if I could ever turn into a  wolf or not. If I didn't will my mate will ever accept me for the way I am? Moon goddess what you have stored for me on my plate?

Three months later...

It's been three months now since Ella has moved to Lakewood forest's pack.  I didn't get to meet her ever since she moved there but she does send me some times. I have started my morning with my brother's harsh training as usual. But this time  I'm giving it my all. I'm gonna be strong in my ways than relying on my friends.  I must learn to rely on myself and only depend on myself. Don't matter if I ever get to transform into a werewolf or not, I'm gonna flee from this castle and live the way I always dreamt of. No feeling of being an outcast and getting bullied. Anyway, no one

 damn care if I stay here or not.

 

As usual,  I went to school. Ella no longer comes to school Cause after you find your mate, you barely enroll at school cause you have to look after your pack as a Luna. I wanted to meet Ella cause I miss her so badly.

I miss her more than I miss Jordan. Cause it's no point to miss bim anyway. I heard like Amanda is one month pregnant now and soon give the west forest pack their rightful next little Alpha.   The whole pack is rejoicing that they will get the next heir to the West forest pack. I assume now everything is alright between Amanda and Jordan.  All arriving well except me. And loneliness in this Quarter is killing me slowly. I just try to imagine -

It's gonna be the last year of my high school. Soon I will graduate without any hindrance. I remember I'm gonna be 18 soon and yet I still didn't show any kind of transition. Maybe it's over for me to become a wolf now. I'm fed up with this wolf-wolf thing.  I'm fucking gonna be 18  next month and yet the wolf inside me is still quiet. I'm no different than those humans out there if I am unable to transform.  

I'm bullied and made fun of as always. I don't even care. Soon I will graduate and leave West forest castle and live freely. It's only a month apart from our final classes and my birthday, then it's gonna be all right. I would not be the burden and an eyesore to selfish  West forest pack anymore.  I finished half of the class today and didn't feel like attending classes.  I skipped my class and went to our school's ground forest. I opened my lunch box packed with pork cutlets, and some salad cause my diet was allocated by my brother Victor so I won't lose my stamina by eating rubbish junk foods. Cause our Cafeteria would sell only raw meats to which I'm sensitive of. I could never eat those raw meats.

 

I was daydreaming about my backup plan eating my tasty pork cutlets in case if I didn't transform, I will do this and do that. But suddenly I sensed something was sneaking behind me. I rolled my eyes here and there searching who could be sneaking on me? are they those bullies? or Vampires? oh, moon goddess doesn't let me die in the hands of Vampire. please protect me. I heard something groaning abruptly. 

And to my stupefaction, A huge Brown colored Wolf called towards me giving me a strong and painful thwack.  I was terrified to ever be attacked by this huge wolf that got me knocked to the ground. It didn't stop till there. It kept on throwing its powerful punches but still, I was able to tolerate it a little, I begged bim not to beat me like this cause I don't even know him. But don'tkmkw it wouldn't listen and kept on saying 

"you bloodsucker! I'm gonna rive you into pieces! you have guts to roam in my school huh?" if wailed in a very outraged tone and threw me off the pine tree.

"you're dead, bloodsucker  fucking bat!"

"What are talking about???" I  yelled in a painful voice.

 It opened its claws to tear me apart thrusting its sharp claws thrusting on the ground. I with my less ability to tolerate my pain, I couldn't do it any longer. I cried loudly as my body couldn't hold any pain.  I  notice myself but surprisingly I howled as any wolf does. My body became heavy. My hands were covered with furs, my sharp teeth appeared leaving me extreme pain in my Jaws.