ANASTASIA
The pain of being constantly ignored and getting less attention from your lover is no different from slitting your wrist.
I remained in my car, staring at the entrance of his house and the text messages we had a few hours ago. I love Ben, and I will do anything for our relationship to be better again.
We used to be so much in love, but lately it seems like he loathes me. His eyes have gone totally empty whenever he stares at me. Bennett used to stare at me with so much love that I could see it burning in his eyes, but not anymore.
I have been wondering what went wrong. What I did wrong.
My brain has been hurting because I’ve been trying to think of what could have gone wrong, but nothing. I’ve been trying not to think too much because Karina, my only close friend said I have seizures whenever my brain is overworked, and I wouldn’t want to have any of that, but Bennett's silence has been making me lose it. I had been good to him since I met him.
I’ve been loving towards him, always trying to be there wherever he needed someone. Whenever he needed to cheer up, I was there with him, and now he looks at me like a complete stranger. Nothing hurts more than watching your favorite person begin to see you as a stranger to them.
Bennett and I had known each other for a while now. He is a 21-year-old young-looking guy who takes completely after his father's hot looks. And I'm twenty, and we've been dating for two years until he starts to act mad.
I’ve finally had the courage to speak to him and ask him what truly went wrong with us. I’m done with the silence between us. I really want to know why he has been staying away from me for over two weeks without any calls or texts from him.
I’ve decided to confront him; that’s why I’m at his house now, but I’m trying to get rid of the tears before I get out of the car.
My eyes burn with pain as I blink back the tears that've been threatening to run down my cheek again. I read our messages again, and the conclusion was that he was at home and we could talk things out.
I pull out of the car, rubbing my wet palms on the sides of my jeans. There’s no need to ring the doorbell. I walk into the sitting room, and it’s deafeningly silent. Well, I’ve known Bennett to be a noisy person; he is either playing trap songs or singing with his horribly good voice.
I’ve been here a couple of times, and I know my way around, especially to his room. I run through the stairs and the alley until I reach his room.
I flare the door open after taking a quick breath and rub my hand calmly on my chest. I walk in, but I’m stunned at the spotless state of his bed and everything.
He’s not here.
Bennett was never this organized whenever he was home. Did he play me for a fool? No, he wouldn't. I don’t want to think of that, as I still roam my eyes around his room.
He vividly told me he was home and I could come over since I asked us to meet. Now my heart is splitting in half at the realization. He lied to me.
He’s nowhere in the room. I moved from his studio room to his bathroom, and there’s no sign of him. I’m short of breath as my heart contracts. I’m hurting as hell because I feel so stupid now. Why would he do this to me? What wrong have I done?
Isn’t this enough of a sign that he’s totally lost interest and I’m the only one who’s been fucking putting in too much effort? It’s my fault; I should have moved on too and quit thinking about him, but easier said.
I turn around to run out of the room as I bawl my eyes out. I run with so much energy down the stairs, and I reach the sitting room in no time.
I’m about to run for the door, get out of this fucking place, and never return here again, as well as erase Ben from my head forever, when I see something. No, not just something a fucking huge thing!
My teary eyes increase in size, and my mouth falls open. I can barely say anything but stare intently at him. Bennett’s father, Denver Harper. He is a forty-year-old man who is the most handsome man at his age.
“Holy Shit." I scream in a whisper.
"When did you get in here, Anastasia? Ben has been gone for hours now.” His eyes grow wide, but not because he is surprised to see me, but because I don’t stop staring at him, knowing that he is naked in front of me.
“Do you walk all naked when there’s no one at home but you?” I almost bit my tongue out. I feel sudden hotness from within, not because I’m heartbroken but because of something else that I can’t make sense of, and my stupid thigh is already clenching.
"Little girl, are you not afraid to take your eyes off? This can ruin you." His dominance wraps around his voice, my eyes trail off his cock, and I view his entire body. The masculinity got my thighs drooling and gave me the fastest shock I had ever felt in my stomach.
It's the first time I've taken note of how perfect his body curves are. His wide chest and broader shoulders. Fucking manly!
My face heats up as if I’m being steamed. “What can ruin me?” I swallow hard, trying to play dumb when I'm fully aware of what he's talking about.
“Exactly what you are staring at can ruin you, little girl.” I’ve almost never paid attention to his voice, but now I am, and for no reason, it’s making my thigh clench harder, and I can feel my pants getting wet as it vibrates through my stomach.
“And what if I want to get ruined by it?” I know I’m making a deadly mistake by responding dirty to him.
He tilts his head and comes closer with the glass in his hand. He towers over me because he is 6'3 tall and I'm average. “Trust me, you wouldn’t want to start this. Now go back home, girl.” He strokes my red hair and nudges at the door.
“Go home and forget you ever saw me this way.” He demands it with his raspy voice. A voice in my head screams at me to run, but I can’t tear my eyes off him as determination dominates my mind.
“And what if I can never forget what I just saw?” I gulped, staring at his green eyes.
“Then you are damned, baby girl.”
DENVERI use my hand to slam the door once she is out of the house. She’s already seen me naked, and I couldn’t stand to watch her see me getting hard.I shouldn’t get turned on because it was an incident. She came to find Bennett but happened not to see him.I shouldn’t even give it a second thought about what just happened a while ago, but the way she stared at me got me fucking turned on, and I started to imagine things that I was supposed not to ever think of.She is my son’s girlfriend, and that isn’t even much trouble. I am twenty years older than her, which should be the trouble.Why didn’t I know when she arrived? I didn’t know, and that was my fault. Plus, I ought to have stopped walking around the house naked all the time.It’s a bad habit for me. I do this when I’m alone and enjoying my music. It’s a sign of peace of mind when Bennett and his mom are away from home.I charge into the shower to take a bath, but I can’t get rid of her words from my head and the way she kept s
ANASTASIAIf it was so easy to wipe my memories of last night, I will do it again.I got heartbroken by his son and got dumbstruck, frozen, and my thighs shamelessly clenched by him. I can’t stop thinking about his whole expression yesterday and the way he watched me look at his body curves and the huge thing he has in between his legs.I was fucking daring; I knew it. Maybe it was the pain, but strangely, I still do not regret saying those words to him, even though he thinks I’ve gotten mad.Karina is beside me, sitting around a table where we get all sorts of coffee and stuff. She has been talking for over thirty minutes, and I haven’t really heard a single thing she has been saying.I nod, and, uh, so she doesn’t get pissed for letting her talk go to waste. Talking is one of the major things we don’t have in common. I’m reserved and a good listener, but Karina is the opposite of that.I knew she had been talking about Bennett, but I really didn’t get a thing from what she said beca
ANASTASIAEven though I’ve never met my parents, I was sure as hell that I had their genes. And the one I will forever be proud of is picking myself back up after being bruised and broken.I was the type of trash that could easily be recycled. I picked myself back up and headed to the bar for some alcohol.I couldn’t go back home. I didn’t want to be lonely when my heart was dying; I wouldn’t be able to breathe.I needed to stay outside where I could get enough air and probably drink off my sorrows. I recently started liking alcohol since Bennett started acting up.I’ve always thought alcohol was useless, but I recently figured out that it isn’t all that useless. It can stop you from feeling pain and take you to a different realm, and that was just what I needed.I drank until I began to throw up. I thought I wouldn’t be able to get up from the seat, but I was surprised at how I was able to walk and even drive.Speaking of drive, I should never have thought of coming here again. It’s
DENVERI’ve never seen a girl with such boldness. She falls asleep in Bennett’s room, and I stay for a while watching her sleep.She curls up herself in bed and pulls her knees up her chest. Even in her sleep, she looks so adorable, like a doll.She said she isn’t a little girl, but she curls and rolls up like one and has attempted to fall forward a couple of times, but I place a finger on her forehead and push her backwards so she doesn’t hit the ground. It’s light contact, only a damn finger, and yet it feels like my body has caught fire, and the flame doesn’t cease to extend through my entire body.I take a pillow from the other side of the bed and drop it in front of her so she doesn’t roll off to the ground when I’m out of the room.It looks like Bennett isn’t going to come home tonight; that’s why I took her to his room. I would have preferred the visitor room, but it would be too cold for her, especially with the way she is curling up. I can tell how vulnerable she is to the co
ANASTASIAWell, maybe I will agree with everyone at this point: Drinking is a bad thing. It induces this stupid courage in you and leaves you hanging there and staring blankly at the mess you’ve caused once the effect is gone.I’m biting my lips so hard right now because I can’t believe the mess I’ve gotten myself into.My memories of last night with Denver flood back. I press my head into the soft pillow, picturing the image of last night—how he kept staring at me and how his face remained rigid—but he's still the most handsome man I’ve seen at forty, and I can’t help but cringe at the words I said to him.And hell, no fucking way, I told him I haven’t been normal since I saw his cock. I pop my cheek as it burns red hot while I sit on the edge of the bed. How do I approach him now? I’m so embarrassed at myself.I wonder how he sees me or what he thinks of me now. Fuck, I promise that will be the last time I take alcohol again.I bring my hands to touch my lips, and my body explodes i
DENVERNew things.I’ve always been against trying out new things; I prefer to stick to the usual stuff or routine, and getting involved in new things has never been my game. New dishes. New hairstyle. New woman. Nah.This is the first time I’m violating my principles and doing things out of the ordinary. Thinking of my son’s girlfriend is out of the ordinary.But can I stop thinking of her? No.I’ve tried and can’t stop thinking of the softness of her lips, her innocent and gorgeous blue eyes, and, of course, her daring spirit.She says she doesn’t want to do boys anymore, and just the way she said it gave me relief in such a way. At least she knows what she wants, and nobody is compelling her.The problem might not be with her, but with my son. She’s Bennett’s girlfriend. I can’t compete with my son; it’s the wildest thing to think of. What if he finds out? What if I hurt him?Bennett has been my treasure since the day he was brought into this world. I love him because he came from
ANASTASIALife has always been this difficult. The difficulty in getting what you want and the ease in losing things you were trying to save while battling to get what you wanted.It sucks. Why is it so easy to lose things than gain things? If there’s a word for that, then that word is equivalent to the meaning of my life.I fucking lose all the things I thought I had and never get the things I would hold my breath for, live for, and die for. It took me an ounce of strength to say those words to him, but there was a long silence from his end, as if I had spat out venom. I fucking wanted to eat myself out. Hide my face from the surface of the earth or curl into my shell, and never stick my head out again.At least that’s what I’ve always done. Since age five, when I practically figured out that I had no dad and no mom and was with other kids who technically had the same issue as me,.I knew I was doomed. And at age ten, I started requesting who my parents were, and I was told stories
DENVERDrake doesn’t know Anastasia, and he wouldn’t be stupid enough to make this kind of bloody mistake if he knew.I just found out she is the intern student who is meant to be under me, and it’s as if the universe is coming to haunt me.It’s as if everything I was trying to avoid is coming after me, and I can’t escape it.Speaking of Anastasia, I think I made a bloody mistake pertaining to the very first time I was on the phone with her.When she pleaded not to leave her, my heart melted like acid was poured on my entire chest, as if the clock stopped ticking. I badly wanted to say something to her, if at all anything, but not to keep her silent.I had a few things to say, but my mind was on its own discussion, and I couldn’t utter a word to her. My heart wanted to explode like a volcano when I heard her cry. She must have felt really bad because she ended the call just as I was about to say something, I kept silent for too long and she might have gotten my silence wrongly.And my