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CHAPTER 41
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2021-11-12 19:59:18"Wow, what place is this?"
I roamed my eyes around while amazement were written all over my face. It was like a palace this time. He brought me here. I did not even know what place is this! There were trees from each sides and a semi-palace house over. It was like their mansion but the differences was it was a small type while Jinx' was very huge. It was beautiful and very nice.
Jinx held my hands. "This was the place where mom and I used to go to. Did you like it here?"
I nodded my head. "Of course, it was beautiful."
He smiled. "Let us go inside?"
I walked with him towards the small house. There were only few people around and I wonder how did that happened. This place was too good and nice to not be visited.
"Why there were only people, Jinx?" I asked him with curiosity.
"It was limited here."
I looked at him accusingly. "You always bring me to the place or park that has limited people. Am I right?"
He snorted.
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Wretched Self CHAPTER 42
I could feel my nervousness and my heart were beating so fast. I did not know what would happen this night. I just wish that this will be over as soon as I can bear because I might collapse here, in front of Mister Adonis and madame Lucia. Damn it.When Jinx asked me about the dinner, I have no choice but to face them. I had to respect them because they were the parents of Jinx. I should and must respect them. They were a parent and they did not deserve to be escaped from.I stopped my hands from shaking and pretended that I was okay here.I will be fine."So, would you tell me if you really love my son?" Madame Lucia asked while raising her brows. I gulped. Jinx was about to say something when I stopped him.I want him to stop from defending me. I will be better. I want to face a challenges alone, because he will not be always here beside me for a support. No one would stay forever."Astra," Jinx warned me but I just smiled at him. I then t
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Just how really the time flies fast for us to notice it.I was smiling to the employees and business man and woman the whole event. I did not even know what my purpose is for attending because I was just silent and following to what Madame Lucia tells me to do."You want to go home now?" Jinx asked and leaned over to whisper. We were just sitting in a round table and looking people around. They look so happy and it will never be the same for me.It was awkward here. I did not even know someone here except Sew and Jinx."Nah, I should finish the event," I said, not looking at him."Alright, just tell me if you might change your mind, hmm?"I just nodded my head. I sipped on my drink and forced a smile at him. We just continued the night. Whenever his mother calls him to introduce himself to a friend, I always get left alone. I just kept on being silent."Hey," someone sat beside me.I smiled when I saw that it was Simon. "Yeah,
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"Babe, happy first month of being together!"I was so excited for this day because it was our first month together. We have been together in 31 days. It was not easy because we argue but we were able to fix it as soon as possible. We didn't want anything happen for worse."Happy anniversary," he greeted while we were both tearing up. We both laughed at ourselves and just hugged each other.I buried my face on his chest when he kissed the top of my head. I want to kiss him but I am too young to do that. I only have the guts to kiss his face, not including his lips. I mean, yes, I could, maybe, when I turn 18.I want to laugh at myself. I am too babying myself.I will just wait for me to have another year."I want to kiss you right now," he chuckled and kissed my temple this time. My face heated as he faced me and cupped my face."Why not?"He stared at my eyes and shook his head. "You're still a baby."I laughed and just
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Wait, what? You two kissed?!"I almost cover my ears when Sew asked that thing so loud. I just whisper that to her because I was too shy, but then, here she was, screaming triumph but somehow surprised. My cheeks was already getting red and I know, she clearly saw how I blushed."Yes, but please, calm your voice down," I almost plead. She covered her mouth and let out a small laugh. I diverted my gaze off her because I am already shaking.Jinx just brought me home and it was already 3 hours after morning came. I couldn't sleep because his lips seems like stayed with mine. I mean, I still could feel it! Damn that man, he was making me go fucking crazy again.I gulped and stopped myself from touching my lips. If I could only not wash my lips forever."Why did you let him? You said you will just let him kiss you when you turn 18, right? What happened now? You could not resist it?" Sew said while I was not looking at her."What? No! It's my damn
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I still could not get what happened.As far as I have known, Madame Lucia hates me. She does not like me for her son. She does not like the way I wear outfits, and she see me as a trash. But then, now was different. The way she looks at me, it has something to do with my euphoria.I smiled in my inner me. I want to scream, I want to hug her, I want to tell nor show to her how happy I am. But maybe, she does not like me do such a thing. I think I am still a disgusting woman she first saw.I could not tell it by just her eyes!I know, eyes cannot lie, but I did not want to give myself false hope because I will just be the one who would be hurt.I should know my place.We went to the backyard of their mansion. I was a bit shy because Jinx did this for me. This is their house and funny how I celebrate my birthday here. It was theirs and it felt very awkward!"Hey, calm down, please?" Jinx looked at me, worries written all over his face.
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"I apologize for every bad things I do to you."That was the first thing Madame Lucia let out as we both sat in the bench behind the flowers covering their background. I have been here with months already but funny how I could not memorize the place and how this mansion go flow. This was kind of maze.I looked at her with my pleading eyes. I did not like the thought that she is being sorry. Yes, she did wrong, but I do not need her apologies because I already understands her from the start.I gulped as my chest tightened. "You do not have to...""But I want to, Astra."She sounded so damn serious and I could sense her feeling guilty. I sighed and shook my head. God, this is so awkward and embarrassing at the same time. This is torture for me, fucking damn."Anyway, if you want to, then I will just accept it. It is my pleasure to be thrown with your sorry, but really -"I was cut off because of her sighs. "I want to say sorry because I
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Why would jinx always sticks to me?Bad luck never leave my life. Even if I do everything just to receive good things, it still couldn't. I am slowly losing hopes, really. I always wish that maybe, tomorrow will be a good day, that the sun rises with good things ahead. But... I am nothing but a glue of bad things.And yes, jinx' stays with me but why... Why do my love named Jinx can't? I did all my best to love him. To be a good woman, person.Things really turns out opposite with what you have plan.Expecting is not a good behaviour for every person. Because in the end of the day, it will just hurt you. You will be ending up with pain, agony that is like death that you never want.I always keep asking myself. Do I deserve this?Everytime, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. That things that was active, good nor bad, is something that will g
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"What are your plans now?"I was busy eating in the table when Sew appeared. I really avoided her for many weeks because of shame. I am feeling so embarrass because of my immature act these past few days. I really scold myself big time for making her worry and feel bad. I just gave headache to her."What do you mean?" I asked in monotone. Good thing I didn't stutter. I sipped on my water while not looking at her. I am really ashamed. I don't have the face and guts to look at her in the eye."I am asking if what are your plans," she repeated."I... I don't have..." I said and shook my head. "I don't know what to do. B-But maybe, I will just continue living and wait 'till death..."She almost stomped her feet. "Come on, Astra. You are being selfish! Think of the people who loves you!""There is?" Tears started to form in my eyes."Of course
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"I am so happy for the both of you!"My lips automatically formed a smile as Jinx's father embraced me. We just had a dinner together. I am beyond grateful to everything. That even after years that we did not talk, nor any connections, we still have the closeness we had before. I am not saying that we're too close that could bond or hangout together, it was just that we were cool since then."Thank you," I whispered to him and let go. Jinx just gave me a sweet smile. All he did in the midst of the dinner is to stare at me. Even if his father asks him, he will answer with his eyes on my face. I really stopped myself from kicking his ass off. He is kind of annoying."Maybe I will now leave the both of you here," Mister Adonis said. I was the one who requested for a dinner, a short dinner. I am thankful that he also want us to bond with his son. But of course, he has a work so he could not stay here long. He excused himself
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"Hey, good thing and you are already awake." I stared at nothingness while I feel nothing. I moved my right hand to see if I am still alive and good thing I still could feel myself. I just feel nothing, really. I do not have to look who was beside me who talked because from the tone of the voice, I knew that it was Jinx. I felt myself lying on a soft mattress, and I am inside a room that is not familiar to me. Where am I? "Here, drink some water," Jinx handed me a glass of water. I tried to get it but my hands were too weak to reach for it. I gulped hard. My throat already needs water because it was getting dry. Jinx, then, stood up to guide me sit on the bed and lean against the headboard. "Here, drink it." Good thing he made me drink it with his right hand holding the glass, while his other hand gently held my chin to guide me. I gulped the water quite fast because I really am getting thirsty as seconds pass by.
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"But you can't marry me," I slowly uttered and looked away from him.He really can't marry me because he was already married. He shouldn't be saying these things to me. I will just feel bad to her wife."How do you say?" he asked in monotone. He tried to hold my chin to make me look at him but I did not let him. I stared still at nothingness, away from his eyes. "How do you say, Astra? Give me a reason.""Because you are already married," I snorted. "How can you marry someone when another woman already owned you? You were cheating?"He stayed silent for a moment not until I heard his chuckles. My brows creased in annoyance and looked at him sharply. Why is he laughing? He is making fun of me? Seriously? This time? This situation?"Married?" he grinned. "You think I am married?"I pursed my lips into a thin line and slowly nodded my head. "You really are marri
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"Do you want to go with me visit mom and dad?"Cine and Val nodded their head to me. My lips then automatically formed a smile. It will be nice if we, sisters, Faye, Cine and Val will go together and visit our parents in the cemetery. It will be a family bond."I will go and guard you guys," Simon interfered and forced a smile. We did not complained at it, though. He wants us safe. He did not want something bad to happen to us. We were thankful that Simon did not leave our side even how hard it is to manage his time for work. He should have already focus himself to the work but he insisted to still guard us. Something bad might happen, he says. But we all hope that there is none."Yeah, I will, too," Jinx appeared all of a sudden. I thought he went off for an important matter? Why is he here?"Alright, we're all done. Let's go?" Faye smiled to us. We all nodded and headed outside the house. We used S
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"I am sorry to all the things I did."I want to slap him from 360 degrees because of anger. What? He will just say that after everything? It is easy for him to apologize like everything he did will just fade away just because of his word "sorry? That everyone he got hurt will be healed easy when he will say sorry to them? That everything will be fine with just a sorry?i looked at Fin with my raging eyes while he just looked down. "You have the guts to think that everything will be fine with just your damn sorry? Rot in hell!""Astra," Jinx warned me but I did not listen to him. I pointed fin with my index finger and I gritted my teeth."I will promise that you will live in the prison forever. You will have your last breathe inside the jail."I thought he will shut himself but suddenly, he looked up at me with a grin on his face. "Yes. I prefer live here. World is t
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"How is Fin?" I asked Jinx while I am busy staring at nowhere. I want to know where he is now. I just want to hear the place where he belongs to. The place where he must suffer and pay the bad things he did.He sighed and looked at me. "He was already sent to the prison."I pursed my lips and nodded my head. "Good to hear that."He stared at me for a moment and all I did is to look away from him. He was like trying to read me. Trying to know what I am thinking. I really felt awkward when he tries to stare at me because it sent me a different feeling I could not define. It really is annoying when he look at me like that. It was nostalgic."Do you want to visit him and talk to him?" he asked and sat on the chair far away from me but facing me.I answered him without looking at him, "Yes, I want to." I want to make him realize how evil he is. That he did so many bad th
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"Thank you for coming..."Jinx just threw me a glance and say nothing. He kept on driving his car as fast as he could to get away from the place where Fin planed to kill me. From the place of nightmare. The place where I think that was already my last breathe. The place of devil.My hands were shaking so bad because or nervousness and fear at the same time. I do not know how to calm myself. The mere thought of myself fighting for my life is already making my system weak. The thought of Fin planning to murder me was like already killing me. The thoughts were making my heart break into pieces.It hurts.Since I was in the womb of my mother, I was already blamed. Someone is already mad at me even though I was not born yet. That even if I have no knowledge about their anger, my individual has. I did nothing. I was still a very innocent child when they put all of their anger towards me.
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"You have the heart to know everything?"Even if I am afraid, I have to know everything. Even if I know that my heart could not take it, I have to bear with it. It sucks. The thought of not knowing the truth while you on the other hand were the one who is suffering in pain and agony because of the blame that people throw towards you."Yes, I have," I said bravely. I have to show him that I am not afraid at all. That I have the guts to accept everything. To know the truth. I have to know everything. I am in the center of the blame and so I have the rights to fucking know the freaking truth. I am in the midst of blame and I cannot even escape from it. I was stuck and I can only get off after I get through the barrier and challenges.His lips automatically formed a devilish grin. "Waste time to know the truth before you will die?"When I nodded my head with no hesitation, the expression of his face chan
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I didn't know what happened next.I just found myself in a dark room where I see nothing but darkness alone. I didn't know how I get here. I do not know where I am. It was like, I was in my highway to hell. I felt like, this is my last.I tried to move, but I cannot.My hands were freaking tied!Where the hell I am?! How did I fucking get here?!I sighed heavily in anger. I then closed my eyes as the door from nowhere swung open. The bright light hit my eyes and face and so I have to not see it so it wouldn't hurt my eye.The hell. Am I in a horror movie?"You're now awake." A voice lurks in every corner of the room. I gulped as I had goosebumps. The voice is so... creepy. "How is your sleep, Astrallaine?"When I opened my eyes, a man standing amidst the light welcomed my eyesight. His face isn't clear to my view, but
