CHAPTER 04

I was about to continue walking when someone blocked my way. To my bad luck, someone on my right side just bathed me a so-so-so cold water that can make a person shiver.

I closed my eyes in annoyance. I can feel my body being hugged by the cold. I don't know how to react. I did not expect this!

They had been bullying me since I transferred to this university. I am already used to being teased and bullied by students but I didn't expect it to be this early!

I heard laughs around, I was still closing my eyes. There are murmurs that has reached my ears, their teasing words are making me melt in shame.

"Aren't you tired of getting bullied, penurious girl?" Denisse asked, the leader of mean girls of this university. When I opened my eyes, I saw Enzo beside her. Enzo and Denisse were couples. They are the leaders who are targeting me.

"For sure she's already jaded, who wouldn't?" Then the other girl laughed teasingly. "If I were her, I would transfer to another school."

"She's lack of money, how can she, girl?" They laughed again. My body was still shivering in the cold. Good thing, my bag is waterproof, hence my school stuffs aren't get wet.

"She's too sympathetic! Aww." Denisse acted like she really cares at me. She looked at me from head to toe before laughing again like an idiot human living in this world.

"I-It's so.. cold.." I uttered weakly. I was hugging myself so tight, thinking that it would prevent what I was feeling in my body.

They laughed again, making me hurt. I felt something tugging at my heart. I closed my eyes again as I felt the pool of my tears starting to form in my eyes.

Aren't they tired too of doing this again and again? Are there nothing they can do and just make fun of me instead of studying nicely and chasing their dreams? Is their goal to hurt me? To be a professional bully?

They teased me more when my tears got out of its hideout. I bit my lower lip before looking down. I stopped myself from sobbing and just wiped it all away.

I was about to face the group of bully when someone just held my shoulders with gentleness that was mixed with aggressiveness. I didn't have time to look back at them when Jinx grabbed me away from their place.

"H-Hey, i-it hurts..." I complained but he didn't even listen to me. He still dragged me away and I just got back to myself when he stopped and made me lean on a wall of an abandoned room in a building.

"Why didn't you fight back, Astra?" My heart automatically beats fast when I heard the anger from his voice. He clenched his jaw while staring at me annoyingly. I gulped before looking away.

"H-How can.. I..?" I wiped the tears that had fallen again. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes while my face was facing in another direction, really avoiding his raging face.

"You're always letting them bully you! I am tired of seeing you suffer like this, Astra! I want you to fight, but you're too good to do that! I want to punish them and get revenge for you, but I have no rights! Fck this, Astra. You're showing them that you're too weak!"

I frowned, still not looking at him. "Because.. that was the truth. I am too weak that I can't even defend myself from harm.."

"And.. that's the case.." His voice change to smooth and like pleading. I shook my head multiple times while biting the lower part of my lips. I was hurt by his words!

"And.. you're showing me that.. I have no use... I am too weak.. I don't have the guts, y-you know.." I wiped my tears while laughing. I then looked at him with a faint smile. "Sorry for being what I am..."

"A-Astra..."

"What can I do a-anyway? This is m-me. M-My real self.. I c-couldn't change.. what I am.." I tried to not stutter but at the end, my voice broke. I am still shivering and colds make me feel so weak. My knees trembled and was about to be out of balance when Jinx immediately approached and imprisoned me in his arms. 

"I'm.. sorry.." He silently whispered. I closed my eyes and cried in his chest. I don't care if someone sees me at this situation but everything what happen's hurting me.

"T-This is just me... I.. I can't be the best version of myself, Jinx.. I.. I just can't.."

I can't be the best version of my wretched self. I will be wretched.

"Hush... stop crying..." He patted my head gently. I sobbed before slightly nodding. "Change your clothes, I have my extra tee shirt and jean here,"

I nodded. I feel too empathy for myself. I have to be independent but I was just leaning on others' walls and never mine. I have to be responsible but I can't just start on how to. 

I never had a good start, though.

Jinx brought me to the restroom just  right next to the abandoned room. He lent me his tee shirt and jeans, good thing it fits me well. I am also thankful that my underwear didn't get wet that much.

"I-Is it okay?" I asked him as I got out of the restroom. He shifted his weight from leaning on a wall, he then scanned my body from head to toe.

"It suits you well," I blushed because of his compliment. I don't know how to react. I avoided his eyes and just but the insides of my cheeks. "Let's go, we'll head to your room."

"How about yours? The c-class' has already started.."

"I'll bring you to your room first before mine, I can be late, though." 

"But---"

"You first before me." He cut me off, voice full of conviction. I snouted before nodding my head.

He walked towards me before putting my bag on my shoulders, I forced him a smile but he didn't even respond.

We started walking silently. I don't know if he's still mad at me or something. But I wonder why he get so angry lately. His reaction just makes me nervous. Why is he tired of seeing me like this? I mean, yeah, we were schoolmates but how did he? Is he usually seeing me while I was getting bullied? Why didn't he help me? Is it because he doesn't care? But why is he showing me lately that he cares a lot?

Fck this mind of yours, Astra.

"Next time you encounter bullies, call me or yell for help." Jinx uttered in a sudden, breaking the silence that was deafening between us.

"A-Ah, yeah.." I responded awkwardly. He looked at me with his serious expression, making me feel more awkward. Heck, I just remembered how he hugged me lately!

I didn't expect him to do that to me, I did not have time to react lately because my attention was not on him. It's the pain that I was feeling in my chest.

"Don't go everywhere when I am not around,"

"And w-why?"

"So that I can protect you?"

I sighed before shaking a head. Why is he too good to me?

"And why would.. you?"

"Because I can't let you harm,"

"And.. why is that?"

"Too much question, Astra. Just listen to me. I want to protect you because you were my only friend. I want you to go everywhere whenever I am just around. I don't want you to always be alone. I want you to have me beside you. Stop questioning, I think my answer is already enough."

I was stunned for a moment. Is he even serious? Why does he act like he really cares a lot? I believe in the statement that people don't care but hearing him saying those words,

I think my perspective has just changed.