THERESAI was a zombie when I made it to the runway that morning. I had barely slept the night before, and when I woke, my pillow was still damp with tears. I couldn’t even remember how I’d made it through the full moon run and then home after. I must have just gone through the motions, my body moving while my mind drifted somewhere else entirely.Earlier, as we prepared to leave, I walked past Kolya’s room. I paused outside his door, my hand hovering over the handle, my heart pounding against my ribs. But the silence on the other side was deafening. The room was empty. He was gone. Just like that. The air inside my lungs turned heavy, pressing down on me, stealing my breath. I hadn't even said goodbye.After stowing my bags in the cargo hold, I climbed aboard the pack’s bush plane and sank into one of the narrow seats. I pulled off my mittens. Everything about me felt raw—my body, my hands, my heart. Hours of crying would do that, I supposed.I rummaged through my backpack, finally l
THERESA“That's how he is now,” Gigi chimed in, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Ever since he started taking his alpha duties seriously. He does the same thing to me. ‘Gigi, do you have enough food? Is the room warm enough? Do you need more blankets? Do the rats need anything?’ He’s such a dad now!” “Hey! Hey!” He protested. “That’s ‘Daddy’ to you!”“Yes, Daddy,” Gigi responded with a dramatic, teasing whine.Tyce leaned back, his voice dropping an octave as a smirk spread across his face. “Fuck! That just did something to me. Say that again, baby.”“Da…ddy,” Gigi purred, dragging the word out with a wicked grin.“Oh my gosh! Can you guys not do this in front of me!” I complained, taking a stab at normalcy. Acting how I would have if I wasn’t crumbling. It felt like I was putting on a performance, playing the part of someone who wasn’t dying on the inside. What I really wanted to do was curl up under a huge blanket and cry until there was nothing left inside me.After we landed, Tyc
GINGERDuring my first week of school, I was surprised to find I didn’t miss Tyce as much as I would have expected. Sure, there were moments when a random ache would settle in my chest and I’d long for his presence. Nights felt lonelier. My sleep was lighter and more restless than it had been before I left. Mornings sucked. I’d wake up disoriented, half-expecting his scent to linger, only for the realization to settle like a weight in my chest. The bed felt colder, too big. I’d reach out instinctively, expecting his warmth, only to be greeted by empty sheets. But I kept moving forward.My full courseload kept me too busy to dwell on much outside of school. Between Intro to Organic and Biochemistry, Human Anatomy and Physiology, Chemistry, and Ethics, I barely had a moment to breathe, let alone think beyond my assignments, exams, and endless notes. By the end of the first week, I was already drowning in homework, my was planner overflowing, and my nights were consumed by studying.It d
GINGERI finally found the exit and stepped outside into the cold, crisp air, inhaling the scent of winter, pine trees, and Alaskan wilderness, something that was far more abundant down here than up where I’d been living.The off-campus housing Tyce, or someone else in the pack, had found for Terri and me was practically next door to campus, making the walk home fairly easy. While the cold would have certainly bothered me before I’d gotten my wolf back, since turning full wolfy, I’d discovered extreme cold didn’t register the same way anymore. Heat, on the other hand, was a different story. While I hadn’t experienced it firsthand yet, I’d heard trips down south were sweaty, miserable getaways.Thankfully, Hawaii’s weather seemed to be fairly moderate, so my dream of a tropical island honeymoon—where Tyce and I spent the entire time fucking with the ocean as our backdrop—hadn’t been crushed. We planned to leave the morning after the wedding and take advantage of my spring break to wrap
Author's Note: Several characters in this book are native Russian speakers. To avoid repetitive clarifications throughout the text, assume the following:If a conversation takes place between characters who are native Russian speakers, they are speaking in Russian unless otherwise stated.If a conversation includes one or more native English speakers, it is in English unless otherwise indicated.This approach allows for a more seamless reading experience while maintaining linguistic authenticity.***THERESAHalf-full. Between the two options, that’s the perspective I preferred. It’s not that bad things never happened—I was only mortal after all. But attitude was everything. And a good attitude was particularly important at that very moment as the crushing weight of a sandbag dug into my shoulders, snow crunched under my winter hiking boots, and wind cut at the exposed sliver of skin between my gaiter and hat. I climbed, each step more precarious than the last on the icy slope."Faster
NIKOLAIForty. That's how many pack members were left in Severnaya Zvezda Pack, including me. A nice, even forty. Our pack had never been particularly large. As opposed to some packs in Russia and other post-Soviet states, where numbers could climb to ten thousand, ours had always maintained a balance of around a thousand. Now only scraps remained of what we had been.After months of coordinating with my late beta’s aunt, Julia Tikaani (née Yulia Vovchenko), we had finally arrived at her pack. When we first fled our war-torn home, we traveled in our wolf forms, carrying only what we could carry as we crossed into Moldova. From there, it took nearly three days by air to reach Alaska.We had left just about everything behind, and a sliver of hope remained.As generous as Luna Yulia’s invitation was, we couldn’t depend on her hospitality forever. Our pack needed stability—a place to truly call home. With my newly elected beta, Sasha, at my side—a man as ruthless in battle as I was—I set
NIKOLAI"Za zdarovye," Sasha and I toasted each other, and I took a gulp of the vodka. After piling our kill in a shed the pack had for exactly that, he invited me over to the beta wing of the packhouse to throw back a few."Not bad, eh?" he asked."Not bad," I replied.He gave my shoulder a shake. "Hey, Volkov, loosen up. Life's getting better. We're free now."I grunted.Sasha was my good friend going back to when we were pups. People had always remarked we could pass for brothers. They clearly lacked keen eyes. Sure, we both sported thick blond hair and tall frames—although I had at least a good ten centimeters on him—our facial shapes were much different. His was more rotund, and his cheeks constantly reddened with emotion.My features were far sharper, and hardened, and had become even more so in the past year. At times, I looked in the mirror, and I saw my late father staring back at me. His ghost haunted me from the beyond, shaping my features to mimic the forehead furrows, lif
GINGERMy twin sister Paige finished twisting the last bit of my hair around her curling wand and sprayed it down with hairspray. "I miss this." She let out a deep sigh, sitting back on her heels, her body collapsing a bit. We had gathered on the floor of her bedroom while getting ready for the evening—the bedroom that wouldn’t be hers much longer. She would be the last to flee the coop, leaving our parents to an empty nest—something our mother couldn’t stop being melodramatic about. Her wedding was in a matter of days, which was the reason I had flown back to Vermont with my mate Tyce."It's not that much different from when I was in school," I replied, my stomach squeezing a bit, but needing to put a positive spin on our situation."Yeah, but you were at least home for the entire summer then. Now I'll probably only see you a week a year or something like that."Nonchalantly, I blurted, "Maybe the family can move to Alaska." At first, I meant it as an offhand remark that I knew wasn’
GINGERI finally found the exit and stepped outside into the cold, crisp air, inhaling the scent of winter, pine trees, and Alaskan wilderness, something that was far more abundant down here than up where I’d been living.The off-campus housing Tyce, or someone else in the pack, had found for Terri and me was practically next door to campus, making the walk home fairly easy. While the cold would have certainly bothered me before I’d gotten my wolf back, since turning full wolfy, I’d discovered extreme cold didn’t register the same way anymore. Heat, on the other hand, was a different story. While I hadn’t experienced it firsthand yet, I’d heard trips down south were sweaty, miserable getaways.Thankfully, Hawaii’s weather seemed to be fairly moderate, so my dream of a tropical island honeymoon—where Tyce and I spent the entire time fucking with the ocean as our backdrop—hadn’t been crushed. We planned to leave the morning after the wedding and take advantage of my spring break to wrap
GINGERDuring my first week of school, I was surprised to find I didn’t miss Tyce as much as I would have expected. Sure, there were moments when a random ache would settle in my chest and I’d long for his presence. Nights felt lonelier. My sleep was lighter and more restless than it had been before I left. Mornings sucked. I’d wake up disoriented, half-expecting his scent to linger, only for the realization to settle like a weight in my chest. The bed felt colder, too big. I’d reach out instinctively, expecting his warmth, only to be greeted by empty sheets. But I kept moving forward.My full courseload kept me too busy to dwell on much outside of school. Between Intro to Organic and Biochemistry, Human Anatomy and Physiology, Chemistry, and Ethics, I barely had a moment to breathe, let alone think beyond my assignments, exams, and endless notes. By the end of the first week, I was already drowning in homework, my was planner overflowing, and my nights were consumed by studying.It d
THERESA“That's how he is now,” Gigi chimed in, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Ever since he started taking his alpha duties seriously. He does the same thing to me. ‘Gigi, do you have enough food? Is the room warm enough? Do you need more blankets? Do the rats need anything?’ He’s such a dad now!” “Hey! Hey!” He protested. “That’s ‘Daddy’ to you!”“Yes, Daddy,” Gigi responded with a dramatic, teasing whine.Tyce leaned back, his voice dropping an octave as a smirk spread across his face. “Fuck! That just did something to me. Say that again, baby.”“Da…ddy,” Gigi purred, dragging the word out with a wicked grin.“Oh my gosh! Can you guys not do this in front of me!” I complained, taking a stab at normalcy. Acting how I would have if I wasn’t crumbling. It felt like I was putting on a performance, playing the part of someone who wasn’t dying on the inside. What I really wanted to do was curl up under a huge blanket and cry until there was nothing left inside me.After we landed, Tyc
THERESAI was a zombie when I made it to the runway that morning. I had barely slept the night before, and when I woke, my pillow was still damp with tears. I couldn’t even remember how I’d made it through the full moon run and then home after. I must have just gone through the motions, my body moving while my mind drifted somewhere else entirely.Earlier, as we prepared to leave, I walked past Kolya’s room. I paused outside his door, my hand hovering over the handle, my heart pounding against my ribs. But the silence on the other side was deafening. The room was empty. He was gone. Just like that. The air inside my lungs turned heavy, pressing down on me, stealing my breath. I hadn't even said goodbye.After stowing my bags in the cargo hold, I climbed aboard the pack’s bush plane and sank into one of the narrow seats. I pulled off my mittens. Everything about me felt raw—my body, my hands, my heart. Hours of crying would do that, I supposed.I rummaged through my backpack, finally l
NIKOLAII must have removed my clothing at some point, but I didn’t recall doing it. I couldn’t even remember shifting into my wolf form. All I knew was that I was wolf now, sprinting across the vast, endless arctic tundra. Somewhere along the way, I had shed not just my human form but also the fragile remnants of my identity.I no longer knew who I was, where I’d been, or who I had loved and lost. I was no one. Just a nameless wolf, running through the icy expanse as the moon glared down at me. The cold air burned my lungs, and the snow crunched beneath my paws.I sprinted faster, driven by an animalistic need to escape, to silence the flood of emotions clawing their way back. I wanted to be nothing but a creature of instinct, ruled by hunger, thirst, and exhaustion. No past. No pain. No regrets.But I couldn’t outrun my past or my losses. The heart I’d buried into a deep freezer was thawing, cracking, bits of ice chipping off. Water leaking into icicles that fell as they warmed, pie
THERESA“And then… they took Dariya.” His voice dropped even further, thick with agony. “My oldest sister. She had just turned twenty-two. She had her whole life ahead of her.” His hands balled into fists. His entire body trembled. “She was the sibling I was closest to. We were only a year and a half apart. And I watched…” His words broke off, his breath hitching as his face twisted with anguish.“I watched an enemy wolf behead her,” he finally managed, his voice hoarse and trembling. “I was right there. I saw it happen, and I was powerless to stop it.”Kolya collapsed to his knees, a loud sob breaking the stillness of the night like shattered glass. Without hesitation, I dropped to my knees beside him, cupping his face in my hands. His pain was unbearable, and I felt desperate to help him, though I didn’t know how.“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I… I wish…”His hand covered one of mine, grounding me in the moment. “We all wish, Terri,” he said softly, his voice weig
THERESA I was scanning the area when a familiar scent reached me, fragrant and unmistakable, just before I heard my name. “Terri,” Kolya’s voice called softly from behind me. I turned, spotting him partially hidden behind a snowbank, dressed head to toe in black. His night vision was dimmed, subduing his silver eyes in the darkness. “Can I talk to you?” he asked. “Of course,” I replied, my voice steady despite the flutter in my chest. He reached for my gloved hand, and without another word, guided me away from the crowd, the shadows folding around us. The smile on his face was radiant. He beamed down at me, his silver eyes softening. “I… I wanted to see you one last time before you go,” he said, his voice quiet but resolute. “Can you run with me tonight?” Guilt twisted in my chest as I shook my head. “I’m sorry… I can’t,” I replied, “I promised Gigi I’d run with her. She’s really insecure about her wolf.” His smile faltered, and he briefly looked away, his shoulders slouching un
THERESA On Thursday, I showed up for the last training session with the ladies of Severnaya Zvezda Pack. They all gave me a warm greeting, making me feel right at home in their pack. After some warmups, I started them out on sparring, so I could at least teach them some good fighting techniques before I left. I was pleasantly surprised. These Ukrainian ladies could fight! I supposed that’s how this group had made it out of the war. After spending the entire morning and afternoon with them, they convinced me to join them for drinks that evening. The ten of us headed to the pack’s pub together, where we grabbed a large table and settled in. Despite my insistence on paying, they wouldn’t hear of it. I knew they were living off modest contributions from my pack, yet they pooled their money together and made sure I didn’t spend a single cent. Toward the end, Mariya, who had the biggest personality of the group, pulled me aside. “Alpha smiles again,” she said in her heavy Russian accent.
GINGERI ran and leaped, targeting her with my claws. She swiftly ducked and grabbed me by the torso, plucking me out of the air and slamming me onto the large mat underneath us. So much for giving me an advantage.I tried again. This time, I lunged. Fast.Or at least, I thought I was fast.Sara sidestepped me like it was nothing. A blur of motion—before I felt a brutal force against my ribs.My body slammed into the mat, air rushing from my lungs in a painful burst. For a moment, all I saw were stars.“Again,” Sara ordered, pacing around me. “You’re not using your claws enough. You’re letting your opponent dictate the fight. That’s how you get yourself killed.”Gritting my teeth, I scrambled to my feet, forcing my breathing to steady. I had to land at least one good hit. Just one.I pushed forward, snapping my jaws toward her shoulder, but she twisted mid-air, flipping over me before slamming her elbow into my back. My knees buckled, pain shooting through my spine.“Still too slow,”