THERESAI shook my head, pushing the thoughts away, and then continued. “Everything changed this past spring. I came home for summer break after my sophomore year of college. By then, I’d mostly gotten used to the idea that I’d stay a virgin until I met my mate. And then... I met him. My now-ex.”My mood darkened at the thought. Kolya seemed to sense it, as he gave my upper arm a squeeze.“Honestly, I didn’t even like him at first. He was a friend of a friend of a friend. My friend Kaylynn had a crush on this warrior who she invited to a party she was throwing. He had duty and couldn’t make it, but he asked her to invite one of his friends in his place that he said was kind of a loner. Said he was trying to get him to meet more people. And Kaylynn, of course, agreed.“We were all just sort of hanging out. I’d made some silly joke, teasing him in a flirting sort of way. And instead of laughing, he flipped me off. I don’t even remember what I said, but I’m sure it wasn’t anything that r
THERESA“I know you probably think I’m stupid for not breaking up with him sooner. I guess a part of me cared about him. He’d had a tough life—his parents were chosen mates, not fated ones, and they fought constantly. When he was a kid, it sometimes got so bad that they’d forget to feed him. He didn’t have many friends either. Really, his only friend was that warrior I mentioned before, and even that friendship wasn’t a close one.”Desperate to justify myself, I added, “If I’m being fair, not everything was bad. Some things were good—really good. We’d have times where we’d just hang out and talk, and he could actually be sweet. Those moments made it harder to walk away.“Sometime in early August, I told him I was ready to have sex.” Kolya tensed beside me. “We did it one afternoon while his parents were at work. It was horrible. One of the worst experiences of my life. He was so nervous that he couldn’t get it up, and he took it out on me. He kept being mean, blaming me. I can’t even
THERESAI’d spent my whole life under the weight of constant criticism and impossibly high expectations from my parents, never stopping to think how deeply it affected me. Of course I had stayed. It felt familiar.My breath hitched. “I never even realized…”Maybe that same crude judgment was what had drawn me to my ex in the first place—without me even recognizing it. It was why I felt so at ease around him, why his behavior hurt but never felt out of place.I let out a deep breath. For the first time in months, the idea of forgiving myself felt possible. But I was too exhausted to unravel all the complex thoughts that had suddenly formed.Instead, I glanced at Kolya and smiled faintly. “You still owe me an answer to a question.”He raised his eyebrows but didn’t speak.“What is the Russian pack after? Why did they go to war with you?”His muscles stiffened against my body and he pinched his lips together.“You promised,” I reminded him.With a resigned sigh, he sat up and crossed his
JULIA*29 years ago*The day after the incident, I made sure to wear my tightest, lowest-cut black dress to dinner. Even Gabe’s father, who otherwise loathed my existence, couldn’t help his eyes as they skimmed the tops of my breasts.Gabe clearly noticed, because at one point, during the meal, he leaned in, gripping my wrist under the table. “What are you wearing?” he hissed, his voice barely audible over the clink of silverware.“What?” I fluttered my eyelashes and acted dumb. “Is there something wrong?”He scowled but said nothing else, though his tension was palpable. Across the table, Lance’s sharp gaze found mine. Unlike his father or Gabe, his attention wasn’t rooted in lust. His eyes narrowed, assessing me, silently questioning me. I met his stare with a shrug and resumed eating, unbothered.After dinner, Gabe, as usual, whisked me up to his bedroom. I went through the usual motions, stroking his ego and his dick. I excused myself at the earliest I could. I had big plans, and
GINGERBy the time my final training session with Sara rolled around, I’d—mostly— recovered from what I’d experienced during the previous one. Tyce clearly sensed something was off during the drive, because he kept trying to interlace his hand with mine, but I wouldn’t give.“I’m sure you did amazing for your first torture, Gi,” Tyce tried. “You’d be surprised at how many grown ass men throw up and pass out.”A phantom sound echoed in my mind. The screams. The knife cutting flesh. The smell of blood, thick and metallic, clinging to my nostrils.My stomach turned.Tyce reached for my hand, but I pulled away.“You couldn’t have done any worse than me,” he added.“You were ten!”As soon as I said it, I regretted it. His face darkened, shadows flickering in his eyes.“I’m sorry.” I winced. “That was really insensitive of me to bring up.”“You’re not wrong,” he replied softly.I exhaled, searching for the right words. “I guess… I just feel so behind. All those years I didn’t have a wolf, I
GINGERI ran and leaped, targeting her with my claws. She swiftly ducked and grabbed me by the torso, plucking me out of the air and slamming me onto the large mat underneath us. So much for giving me an advantage.I tried again. This time, I lunged. Fast.Or at least, I thought I was fast.Sara sidestepped me like it was nothing. A blur of motion—before I felt a brutal force against my ribs.My body slammed into the mat, air rushing from my lungs in a painful burst. For a moment, all I saw were stars.“Again,” Sara ordered, pacing around me. “You’re not using your claws enough. You’re letting your opponent dictate the fight. That’s how you get yourself killed.”Gritting my teeth, I scrambled to my feet, forcing my breathing to steady. I had to land at least one good hit. Just one.I pushed forward, snapping my jaws toward her shoulder, but she twisted mid-air, flipping over me before slamming her elbow into my back. My knees buckled, pain shooting through my spine.“Still too slow,”
THERESA On Thursday, I showed up for the last training session with the ladies of Severnaya Zvezda Pack. They all gave me a warm greeting, making me feel right at home in their pack. After some warmups, I started them out on sparring, so I could at least teach them some good fighting techniques before I left. I was pleasantly surprised. These Ukrainian ladies could fight! I supposed that’s how this group had made it out of the war. After spending the entire morning and afternoon with them, they convinced me to join them for drinks that evening. The ten of us headed to the pack’s pub together, where we grabbed a large table and settled in. Despite my insistence on paying, they wouldn’t hear of it. I knew they were living off modest contributions from my pack, yet they pooled their money together and made sure I didn’t spend a single cent. Toward the end, Mariya, who had the biggest personality of the group, pulled me aside. “Alpha smiles again,” she said in her heavy Russian accent.
THERESA I was scanning the area when a familiar scent reached me, fragrant and unmistakable, just before I heard my name. “Terri,” Kolya’s voice called softly from behind me. I turned, spotting him partially hidden behind a snowbank, dressed head to toe in black. His night vision was dimmed, subduing his silver eyes in the darkness. “Can I talk to you?” he asked. “Of course,” I replied, my voice steady despite the flutter in my chest. He reached for my gloved hand, and without another word, guided me away from the crowd, the shadows folding around us. The smile on his face was radiant. He beamed down at me, his silver eyes softening. “I… I wanted to see you one last time before you go,” he said, his voice quiet but resolute. “Can you run with me tonight?” Guilt twisted in my chest as I shook my head. “I’m sorry… I can’t,” I replied, “I promised Gigi I’d run with her. She’s really insecure about her wolf.” His smile faltered, and he briefly looked away, his shoulders slouching un
GINGERI finally found the exit and stepped outside into the cold, crisp air, inhaling the scent of winter, pine trees, and Alaskan wilderness, something that was far more abundant down here than up where I’d been living.The off-campus housing Tyce, or someone else in the pack, had found for Terri and me was practically next door to campus, making the walk home fairly easy. While the cold would have certainly bothered me before I’d gotten my wolf back, since turning full wolfy, I’d discovered extreme cold didn’t register the same way anymore. Heat, on the other hand, was a different story. While I hadn’t experienced it firsthand yet, I’d heard trips down south were sweaty, miserable getaways.Thankfully, Hawaii’s weather seemed to be fairly moderate, so my dream of a tropical island honeymoon—where Tyce and I spent the entire time fucking with the ocean as our backdrop—hadn’t been crushed. We planned to leave the morning after the wedding and take advantage of my spring break to wrap
GINGERDuring my first week of school, I was surprised to find I didn’t miss Tyce as much as I would have expected. Sure, there were moments when a random ache would settle in my chest and I’d long for his presence. Nights felt lonelier. My sleep was lighter and more restless than it had been before I left. Mornings sucked. I’d wake up disoriented, half-expecting his scent to linger, only for the realization to settle like a weight in my chest. The bed felt colder, too big. I’d reach out instinctively, expecting his warmth, only to be greeted by empty sheets. But I kept moving forward.My full courseload kept me too busy to dwell on much outside of school. Between Intro to Organic and Biochemistry, Human Anatomy and Physiology, Chemistry, and Ethics, I barely had a moment to breathe, let alone think beyond my assignments, exams, and endless notes. By the end of the first week, I was already drowning in homework, my was planner overflowing, and my nights were consumed by studying.It d
THERESA“That's how he is now,” Gigi chimed in, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Ever since he started taking his alpha duties seriously. He does the same thing to me. ‘Gigi, do you have enough food? Is the room warm enough? Do you need more blankets? Do the rats need anything?’ He’s such a dad now!” “Hey! Hey!” He protested. “That’s ‘Daddy’ to you!”“Yes, Daddy,” Gigi responded with a dramatic, teasing whine.Tyce leaned back, his voice dropping an octave as a smirk spread across his face. “Fuck! That just did something to me. Say that again, baby.”“Da…ddy,” Gigi purred, dragging the word out with a wicked grin.“Oh my gosh! Can you guys not do this in front of me!” I complained, taking a stab at normalcy. Acting how I would have if I wasn’t crumbling. It felt like I was putting on a performance, playing the part of someone who wasn’t dying on the inside. What I really wanted to do was curl up under a huge blanket and cry until there was nothing left inside me.After we landed, Tyc
THERESAI was a zombie when I made it to the runway that morning. I had barely slept the night before, and when I woke, my pillow was still damp with tears. I couldn’t even remember how I’d made it through the full moon run and then home after. I must have just gone through the motions, my body moving while my mind drifted somewhere else entirely.Earlier, as we prepared to leave, I walked past Kolya’s room. I paused outside his door, my hand hovering over the handle, my heart pounding against my ribs. But the silence on the other side was deafening. The room was empty. He was gone. Just like that. The air inside my lungs turned heavy, pressing down on me, stealing my breath. I hadn't even said goodbye.After stowing my bags in the cargo hold, I climbed aboard the pack’s bush plane and sank into one of the narrow seats. I pulled off my mittens. Everything about me felt raw—my body, my hands, my heart. Hours of crying would do that, I supposed.I rummaged through my backpack, finally l
NIKOLAII must have removed my clothing at some point, but I didn’t recall doing it. I couldn’t even remember shifting into my wolf form. All I knew was that I was wolf now, sprinting across the vast, endless arctic tundra. Somewhere along the way, I had shed not just my human form but also the fragile remnants of my identity.I no longer knew who I was, where I’d been, or who I had loved and lost. I was no one. Just a nameless wolf, running through the icy expanse as the moon glared down at me. The cold air burned my lungs, and the snow crunched beneath my paws.I sprinted faster, driven by an animalistic need to escape, to silence the flood of emotions clawing their way back. I wanted to be nothing but a creature of instinct, ruled by hunger, thirst, and exhaustion. No past. No pain. No regrets.But I couldn’t outrun my past or my losses. The heart I’d buried into a deep freezer was thawing, cracking, bits of ice chipping off. Water leaking into icicles that fell as they warmed, pie
THERESA“And then… they took Dariya.” His voice dropped even further, thick with agony. “My oldest sister. She had just turned twenty-two. She had her whole life ahead of her.” His hands balled into fists. His entire body trembled. “She was the sibling I was closest to. We were only a year and a half apart. And I watched…” His words broke off, his breath hitching as his face twisted with anguish.“I watched an enemy wolf behead her,” he finally managed, his voice hoarse and trembling. “I was right there. I saw it happen, and I was powerless to stop it.”Kolya collapsed to his knees, a loud sob breaking the stillness of the night like shattered glass. Without hesitation, I dropped to my knees beside him, cupping his face in my hands. His pain was unbearable, and I felt desperate to help him, though I didn’t know how.“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I… I wish…”His hand covered one of mine, grounding me in the moment. “We all wish, Terri,” he said softly, his voice weig
THERESA I was scanning the area when a familiar scent reached me, fragrant and unmistakable, just before I heard my name. “Terri,” Kolya’s voice called softly from behind me. I turned, spotting him partially hidden behind a snowbank, dressed head to toe in black. His night vision was dimmed, subduing his silver eyes in the darkness. “Can I talk to you?” he asked. “Of course,” I replied, my voice steady despite the flutter in my chest. He reached for my gloved hand, and without another word, guided me away from the crowd, the shadows folding around us. The smile on his face was radiant. He beamed down at me, his silver eyes softening. “I… I wanted to see you one last time before you go,” he said, his voice quiet but resolute. “Can you run with me tonight?” Guilt twisted in my chest as I shook my head. “I’m sorry… I can’t,” I replied, “I promised Gigi I’d run with her. She’s really insecure about her wolf.” His smile faltered, and he briefly looked away, his shoulders slouching un
THERESA On Thursday, I showed up for the last training session with the ladies of Severnaya Zvezda Pack. They all gave me a warm greeting, making me feel right at home in their pack. After some warmups, I started them out on sparring, so I could at least teach them some good fighting techniques before I left. I was pleasantly surprised. These Ukrainian ladies could fight! I supposed that’s how this group had made it out of the war. After spending the entire morning and afternoon with them, they convinced me to join them for drinks that evening. The ten of us headed to the pack’s pub together, where we grabbed a large table and settled in. Despite my insistence on paying, they wouldn’t hear of it. I knew they were living off modest contributions from my pack, yet they pooled their money together and made sure I didn’t spend a single cent. Toward the end, Mariya, who had the biggest personality of the group, pulled me aside. “Alpha smiles again,” she said in her heavy Russian accent.
GINGERI ran and leaped, targeting her with my claws. She swiftly ducked and grabbed me by the torso, plucking me out of the air and slamming me onto the large mat underneath us. So much for giving me an advantage.I tried again. This time, I lunged. Fast.Or at least, I thought I was fast.Sara sidestepped me like it was nothing. A blur of motion—before I felt a brutal force against my ribs.My body slammed into the mat, air rushing from my lungs in a painful burst. For a moment, all I saw were stars.“Again,” Sara ordered, pacing around me. “You’re not using your claws enough. You’re letting your opponent dictate the fight. That’s how you get yourself killed.”Gritting my teeth, I scrambled to my feet, forcing my breathing to steady. I had to land at least one good hit. Just one.I pushed forward, snapping my jaws toward her shoulder, but she twisted mid-air, flipping over me before slamming her elbow into my back. My knees buckled, pain shooting through my spine.“Still too slow,”