Chapter 12 Choices

*Ana*

We are escorted to a set of guest rooms that are freshly cleaned with flowers in every vase. The rooms smell sweet and airy. And it feels bright with the yellow wallpaper and soft cream-colored furniture. It was more than adequate for anyone staying in the castle. But I feel odd about having to use it.

Why can't I use my old bedroom? I remember having one of my own. Though I can’t say exactly what that looked like. But I did.

So why not just let me use that?

Unless someone else uses it now. It strikes me that they might not be free anymore.

It might be his now. I smile when I think of him.

If that's the case...

I don’t mind the room change. It’s insignificant to me. 

"What you smiling about?"Maddie is in the middle of unpacking. She opens trunks to pull out packed clothes.

"I was thinking that this isn't my room."

"Oh? You remember that?" Maddie pauses to roll a pair of socks.

"I'm surprised you can. You were so young when you left."

I lessen my smile a little at that fact.

"Oh," Maddie gasps.

"I didn't mean- what I was saying was that it was some years ago..." But It doesn’t help. My smile is dying on the vine. 

"Ah! How about we go see it then? Come on-" Maddie pumps up her voice to sound eager.

"We'll go see it. Maybe it's the same as before?"

"No, Maddie." I shake my head.

"I...it's not necessary."

Because it's being used. The thought does bring a smile back to my face. I hope he likes the room. I can’t remember if I did or not. 

“Ana?” Maddie looks at me confused. I must look odd- just smiling to myself. I wave my head to turn to look down in the trunk. It’s here that we hear a knock at the door.

"Coming," Maddie’s up. She flies across the room to pull back the door. It’s one of the queen's maids.

"Her majesty is waiting to take tea with Empress Anastasia down in the garden." She speaks with utter politeness. 

The tea! I raise with excitement but Maddie throws back a hand to me. She furrows her brow at the maid.

“Well, she's still not dressed,” Maddie quickly objects with a nod to the trunks.

“We only just started unpacking.”

“Queen Belinda is known for her hospitality. She is the queen among queens when it comes to etiquette. She wouldn’t make such a  faux pas. You must be mistaken.”

“We need more time to prepare.” Maddie sounds a little annoyed for some reason. 

“It’ll be fine.” I come over. There is no reason to wait.

My stepmother is just eager to see me. I smile at the idea.

“Tell my mother I will join her shortly,” 

The maid nods and leaves down the hall before I see Maddie. She is frowning as if she doesn't agree. 

“But the temperature- Ana, it will be growing colder tonight. I planned to change you into something with more layers.” Maddie pulls up a thicker dress with long sleeves. It’s still cut in the Nochten fashion but it’s hardier.

But I frown upon seeing it. It looks ugly. I don’t want to look bad in front of my stepmother. And besides, if I start changing now- it will be past dark.

I don’t want to make her wait that long.

“I’ll just throw another shawl on.” I move to retrieve the gift box. It fits into my pocket easily. 

“It’s too cold for just that. Look at how darker it already is. The weather here isn't like how it is in Nochten. Dawny's autumn nights are much colder.” Maddie demonstrates the sleeves of the dress.

"Look here. See how thicker the sleeves are. You'll be warmer in this." Maddie points the contrast out.

“You’re not going to last long in what you have on.”

“I’ll be fine.” I can’t bring myself to change. I just want to go. I’m just tired of sitting around when I could be doing something.

“I’ll put on three shawls, then.” I pull out three from the trunks. Each is woven with intricate designs.

I make a show of wrapping them around me. They puff up nice and thick around my shoulders. So I finish with a ‘see, I know what I’m doing’ look.

“Ana, THAT. WON’T. BE. ENOUGH.” Maddie speaks slowly.

“Come here so I may dress you.” Maddie shakes the dress with a snap.

But I narrowed my eyes. Being told what to do- it’s not something I am used to. 

“It’s not like this is Almony or something. It’s not that cold. I’m going to be fine.” I rebuke but Maddie shook her head.

“Just let me dress you, Ana.”

“ENOUGH.” 

Maddie steps back stunned for a moment. And so do I. I’ve never had to yell at her before. It feels…terrible.

But Mother is waiting. I can only think and feel that I do not want to waste more time.

They could both be waiting for me. That’s right. She might not be alone.

The queen did mention it was only a fever. He might be better now.

“I am going. Mother is waiting.” I lower my voice but don’t mince words.

"I'll see you when I come back."

"Ana-"

"I'll tell you how it went." 

And I turn on my heel to march out of the room. I keep my eyes forward though I feel her watch me. Her warm eyes seem to burn my back.

No, don’t feel bad. I try to reason. I can’t keep Mother waiting. 

Or Nicoli.

A maid waiting in the hall leads me out. I don’t look back. I’m scared too.

Maddie will understand.