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Chapter 29
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2022-02-10 16:29:47“Hey are you okay?” Mav asked me and I was snapped out of reverie. I just noticed that I dropped most of my food on the ground. I was about to clean it but Mav held my hand to prevent me from doing so. “Huwag. Hayaan mo na,” sabi niya.
He helped get some of the remnants of the food that splattered on my clothes. “Okay ka lang ba talaga?” tanong niya habang pinapagpag ang damit ko. “Ano bang nagyari sayo, bakit bigla mo nalang natapon ‘yong pagkain mo?” dagdag niya.
“W-wala naman. I was just startled when I saw the...” I stopped my sentence when I realized what I just saw. I looked back at the ferris wheel but they’re not there anymore. I sighed. I might have been crazy.
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I found myself running towards nowhere. I don’t even now where to go but I sure want to get away from anyone. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the back part of the school where there’s nothing but trees. I sat in one of the roots and catched my breath. Napahilamos nalang ako sa aking mukha nang maalala ang sinabi ni Sidhean kani-kanina lang sa marriage booth. When everyone clapped their hands for his confession, I felt awful. It could’ve been the best confession for others but not for me. Not when I am starting to finally learn how to love the person who loves me most. I remembered Mav when I thought about it. Why would he say that all of a sudden? Didn't he and Lalaine got back together? Was he r
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Trigger Warning: Self-harm I don’t know what time is it right now, but I managed to go home. I didn’t even bother to check my phone. I may look like a zombie right now because of my messy hair and dirt all over my clothes. I walked inside the bus looking like this and went home also looking like this. I don’t care what others may say. I'm too tired to even think why the heck all of these things happened in such a small period of time. When I arrived at the house, no one’s around. It may be because they’re not home yet or they’re already sleeping. Either way, I don’t seem to care. I walked to my room like a real zombie. I don’t seem to be in my right mind now. I went inside the bathroom and washed my face.&nbs
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Trigger Warning: Self-harm I have thought about different possible ways on how my life would end. But among those thoughts, I wished that I would just sleep and not wake up at all. I hoped for something but a painful death. Pero bakit hanggang dito, mararanasan ko pa rin ang sakit? Pinikit ko ang mga mata at hinakbang ang kaliwang paa. This is my fate. This is where it should end. Ayoko ko nang may masaktan pang iba. My left foot doesn’t have anything to step onto, and the moment I put on my weight here, I would be falling down in this building and be crushed underneath. A tear fell from my eyes and I breathed hard for the last time before I decided to do it. Or so it thoug
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I don’t know what life has installed for me and my family but for all the years that I lived this life, I don’t know if I should be thankful that I am alive or should be wanting to just die. My sisters are still crying in front of our aunt. Hindi ko aakalaing nasa kabaong na si tita. Hindi man kami magkasundo, nagpapasalamat naman ako sa pagpapa-aral at pagpapatira niya sa akin sa bahay niya. Naging malupit man ang naging karanasan ko sa kanya, hindi ko naman makayanang magpasalamat sa naging kinahinatnan niya, lalo na kapag nakikita kong nahihirapan ang mga kapatid ko. Hinaplos ko ang likod ni bunso para patahanin siya. Kahapon pa si
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We continued to live our lives even though I don’t think we’re actually living. My sisters looked like zombies everytime I see them. Tulala sa gilid, magsasalita lang kapag kinakausap, minsan hindi na rin lumalabas ng kwarto. Ako ang naawa sa kanila. Pero naiintindihan ko naman kasi silang lahat. Hindi pa kami gumaling mula sa sakit. We must fully heal to finally keep our acts together. Good thing the summer break started and so, we have a lot of time to heal. Though I have to find a job, too. Maverick is also on his journey to find a school. Halos hindi na rin kami magkita. We only update each other during meals and sleep time. I already have two jobs at the moment. My morning shift is at Morning Dew and
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The next couple of days was the same. My routine would be waking up at five to cook breakfast, then prepare to go to Morning Dew, eat lunch and catch up with Mav, go home and cook lunch, proceed to the convenience store and go home at 8 to cook dinner before going to bed. Ngunit isa lang ang inaalala ko nitong mga araw. Hindi pa rin kasi nakauwi ang dalawa kong kapatid. Si ate Kheana ay umuwi daw noong isang araw sabi ni bunso pero hindi rin nagtagal. Kahapon ko lang din naisipang buksan ang kwarto niya at wala na ang ilan sa mga damit niya. Wala na rin ang maleta niya kaya isa lang ang ibig sabihin noon. Lumayas siya. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya hahanapin. Hindi ko rin kilala ang mga kaibigan niya. At higit sa lahat, hindi rin siya nagrereply sa mga texts ko. &nb
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I catched my breath when I confirmed that I ran enough for him not to catch me by his eyes. Hindi ko alam ang magiging reaksiyon ko sa ginawa niya kanina. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang dapat maramdaman. Gusto kong magalit ngunit gusto ko rin siyang tanungin dahil litong lito na ako. Pero saan nga ba ako nalilito? Sa ginawa niya? O sa nararamdaman ko? Nang bumaling ako sa harap para sana dumiretso sa bahay, pero nakita ko si Maverick na nakatayo sa labas ng gate. Bakit hindi siya pumasok? Nakayuko ito habang nakasandal ang likod sa gate. I composed myself before going to him. When he noticed me, he stood up straight and approached me. I nervously looked at him. Hindi naman niya nakita ang ginawa ni Sidhea
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My phone kept on ringing but I ignored it all. I know Mav is worried for me since the day I walked out of their house. Hindi ko sinabi na narinig ko ang pinag-usapan nila ng mama niya. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung makakausap ko ba siya ng maayos. Baka kasi madala ako sa galit at may masabi akong masama sa kanya kahit wala naman siyang kasalanan. Alam kong napipilitan lang si Mav na sundin ang mama niya. Kaya pala ayaw din niya minsang pag-usapan ang tungkol sa pamilya niya. Matagal na pala siyang pinipilit sa hindi niya gusto. Hindi niya gusto ‘yong anak ng business partner ng daddy niya pero wala siyang magagawa. At mas lalong wala akong magagawa doon. Alam ko kung ano ang dapat gawin pero parang hindi ko k
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Trigger Warning: Mentions of sickness and death I ran to him and checked his body for any bruise or whatsoever. I checked his face, his arms, his legs, and he was just standing there, too stunned to speak. “Anong nangyari sa’yo? Okay ka lang ba?” tanong ko sa kanya at gulat pa rin siya. “Hoy! Tinatanong kita!” mas nilakasan ko pa ang boses ko. “Ah-ha?” nauutal niyang tanong. “Anong nangyari sa’yo?” tanong ko ulit. “W-wala naman,” sagot niya n
