MasukShare
It's Okay to Be Scared
Terakhir Diperbarui:
2025-04-08 05:48:19I felt his little hand tighten in mine and his feet started to drag, scuffing along the pavement, as the school loomed ahead in the distance, looking too big to even me. To his little eyes, I’m sure it was gigantic and threatening. I stopped and crouched down to his level, those beautiful chocolate brown eyes staring back at me.
“Do you think they will like me?” He asked me for the hundredth time in the last few weeks.
“I am positive they will love you, little man. What’s not to love? You are smart and funny and the most handsome little guy I have ever seen.”
“You have to say that. You’re my sister.”
“Listen, have I ever lied to you?”
He cocked his little head, thinking hard. I could see the gears turning, him trying his best to come up with a time I had ever wronged him. If I let this continue, we would be here awhile and he would be late because I had always and would always put him first and he knew it. He was just staling.
I stood up again, looked down at him and gave his little hand a gentle tug. “Come on. You don’t want to be late.”
“I’m scared, Rory.”
I stopped again, pulling us to the edge of the sidewalk and apologized to the frazzled looking mom rushing past, dragging her two children behind her. I bent down again, pulling his little body against mine in a firm hug. I breathed in his scent, memorizing this essence of innocence. This cookies and milk scent that he always seemed to carry, even after I had just scrubbed him from head to toe. I steadied my breathing as I pulled him back and looked again into his large doe eyes.
If he thought this was hard on him, I was dying inside. I didn’t want this, either. I didn’t want him growing up and starting school. Taking on new adventures, making new friends. Every little step he would take was a step away from needing me anymore. I knew it really wasn’t but I couldn’t help these feelings I, too, had struggled with this summer. Worry coursing through me at the uncharted waters we would both be facing. I wasn’t ready for it but time does not stop and here we were. The first morning of school.
“I know you are, buddy. It’s okay to be scared. Actually, being scared the first time you do something is totally normal. I’d be worried more if you weren’t. But, remember, last week we came and met your teachers. Miss Kelly and Miss Lyndsey. You liked them, right?”
A sheepish grin made a small appearance, those adorable dimples highlighting the corners of his mouth as he rocked back and forth on his feet. “Yeah.”
“Well, Miss Kelly and Miss Lyndsey are waiting and they will have lots of new friends for you to meet. And, remember, they are all new and scared, too. This is everyone’s first day of preschool so everyone is new.”
That logic seemed to appease his little four year old mind. He gripped my hand with new found courage and started walking toward the school again, pulling me now as he trotted along. I grabbed the two plastic shopping bags of first day supplies I had set down and followed along. Walking behind him, his backpack looked too large on that tiny little body and I had to fight to control my emotions. He was just too little for all this.
But, I knew he needed it and I did, too. I had holed myself up in that house for the last three years, playing mother to him and maid to Phil. Asking Phil to pull me out for home school so that I could care for Nate, knowing that we could not afford a babysitter and knowing I couldn’t stand to part from him. Keeping up with my studies with frequent trips to the library and secondhand text books I found for cheap at thrift stores. Working night after night in the diner for minimum wage and scarce tips to help pay the bills and pull my weight. Never wanting to be a burden to Phil, I tried my best to take care of Nate and stay out of Phil’s way but I could feel things were changing. The tension the last few months was becoming unbearable and I didn’t know what to do.
Bab terkait
Whispers of the Heart Wendy
We didn’t have any problems until Wendy moved in last year. Phil had not dated since that night he brought us home. In fact, I never saw him with a woman at all until Wendy suddenly showed up in our lives and moved in, seemingly overnight. Phil had played his part, telling her that I was his step daughter but the truth was, it was a difficult story to sell. He hadn’t seemed happy about her being there but being a nice guy and passive, he didn’t stop her either.Phillip is only ten years older than I am. He was six years younger than my mom when they dated briefly and she became pregnant with Nate. He is a very attractive man, looking younger than he is so most would assume when looking at us that we are a couple and that Nate is our child. That little boy is a perfect combination of Phil’s sandy blond hair and sharp cheekbones and my mom’s chocolate brown eyes and button nose. Both traits that I inherited from her, too.Janet was only sixteen when she had me and until she started doin
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-08Whispers of the Heart The Night It All Changed
FLASHBACKShe had fixed him a fancy dinner one night when she knew I wasn’t working. She knew would be home to care for Nate and she could flaunt whatever it was she was attempting to accomplish in front of me. She was strolling around the kitchen in stilettos and barely there red lingerie with a matching see through kimono robe, while she cooked, when I had brought Nate back from the park. She had the wine poured and flowing freely already by the sway of her hips, all waiting for when Phil came in from work. I had quickly made Nate a PB&J and had taken him out of there, retreating to his room the moment I saw how she was dressed and what her intentions were.After I had him fast asleep for the night, I ventured out carefully and, not hearing anyone in the living room or kitchen, I had backtracked to make myself some food. I was starving since Wendy’s presence and attire had prevented me having the chance to get anything to eat at all for myself.I had barely set down and had taken on
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-08Whispers of the Heart Aftermath
I haven’t seen Wendy since that night, not even around town, and Phil and I have never talked about it but things have not been the same between us. I now know that he sees me differently, sees me as a woman. I don't know when this started. I have never caught him looking at me with the looks you would expect from someone attracted to another person.Not that I have anything to go off of other than remembering the looks on the faces of those men as they watched her. That was a piss poor comparison, at best. Primal lust and physical attraction are supposed to look differently, aren't they? That's how it's portrayed in the movies and in the romance novels, my only sources for sex education. I would have noticed if he had been looking at me differently, right? From what I can recall, he barely looked at me at all. Or did he and I was too busy taking care of Nate to pay attention. Did he start seeing me as an object of desire and I was just too naive to notice?Like I said, Phil is an at
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-08Whispers of the Heart The Comfortable Arrangement
As much as I would have liked to have stalled or ran away altogether, I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t know exactly how this conversation was going to go but I, at least, owed Phil enough to have it. He had taken me in and let me live with them when he knew he didn’t have to. I could have easily been tossed into the system, ending up in a foster home somewhere halfway across the country but I didn’t. I know part of it was him feeling that he owed me for taking care of Nate when he wasn’t around and another equal part not knowing how to take care of Nate and be a father himself. For the time, it just worked out for all of us. I took care of Nate and the house, worked when I could and either gave him money to help with bills or bought groceries and necessities for the house.Neither of us ever thought to question the arrangement until it was forced upon us. I grew up. I was no longer the scrawny, awkward fourteen year old girl he took guardianship of that tragic night. He saved me and I, in
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-08Whispers of the Heart Barb's Advice
I had confided in her months ago about what had happened that night that Wendy attacked me. She had said the moment that Wendy moved in that she would not last. That she had known that woman all her life and that she was the desperate type. Not only that, she told me straight up that Wendy hated me so much because she was jealous. Jealous of how beautiful I was, her words not mine, and jealous that I already had Phil wrapped around my finger.I had scoffed at this, refusing to see it or believe it until that night. I confessed to Barb that I just didn’t know what to do just a couple weeks ago. On a particularly slow evening with not a customer in sight, we sat down as Barb lit up a cigarette between those ruby red lips and after taking a couple long draws, she told me exactly what she thought on the matter. Barb suggested that I give Phil a chance, if he ever was brave enough to make the move and straight up tell me how he felt. She had drummed her fingers on the wood of the table as
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-08Whispers of the Heart It's Your Name He Moaned, Not Hers
She tamped out her cigarette before leaning back with a deep sigh. “I see your point, kid. That is tough. But, that was a long time ago and your momma is long gone from this world. That doesn’t seem to bother him too much now, though, does it?”“Men are different. I remember what it was like for them to be together, though. Janet had always struggled as a mom. She wanted to be my friend more than my parent. She liked to party, drink and do drugs. She smoked marijuana and would snort pills but nothing more than that, not at first. I got drug around with her to every party she went to from the moment my granny died when I was eight. It’s any wonder I didn’t end up being abused when I look back on it.”“She was different when she got with Phil.” I continued pouring my heart out, unable to stop now as Barb just sat and listened. “She tamed her ways, something I never thought would happen. She acted like a real mom, for once. They lived together and seemed happy and in love. He worked, she
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-08Whispers of the Heart The Walk Back Home
The conversation I had with Barb replayed over and over again in my head the entire walk back to the little white sided, three bedroom house with the white picket fence. Phil owned it or was in the process of owning it, I knew that. He made the mortgage payment every single month. It was a nice little starter home, nothing extravagant but comfortable and I had added feminine touches over the years to make it feel like a home. A nice place for Nate to grow up in and it was.Phil and I didn’t fight. Nate was healthy and had a happy childhood. Phil and I together, co-parenting, was all that Nate had ever known. He knew I was his sister but he slipped and called me “mom” as much as he called me Rory. Neither of us ever corrected him when he did, either. As long as he was happy. It was like all three of us had accepted that this was our family, our dynamic and it was, as long as it remained safe and platonic.Phil was hard working. He was the day shift crew chief down at our local saw mill.
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-09Whispers of the Heart Need to Figure This Out
I took a few calming, deep breaths as I swung the traitorous gate back and snapped the latch into place. As I passed underneath the plantar box edge I had filled with marigolds, I glanced up into the kitchen window and locked eyes with Phil as he watched me walk past. I offered him a small smile that he did not reciprocate. His face remained void of any emotion whatsoever. Maybe he was just as freaked out about this conversation as I was.“Only one way to find out”, I thought to myself as I climbed the three small steps and grabbed the door knob, twisting it and giving the door a gentle push. With one last deep breath, I crossed the threshold and closed it behind me before calmly walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the retro red formica table with silver metal trim.Phil was still at the window, his back turned to me and I let my gaze trail down his body appreciatively. He was of average height, around six feet tall. His muscles were solid and his figure lean, just visibly de
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-04-09
Bab terbaru
Whispers of the Heart Labels
I tried to control the annoyance I felt at his stunt, knowing I would be unable to do anything about it at the moment. If I said anything right now, it would look like a lover’s quarrel to anyone outside of this truck and Phil would get that label put on me that he was so desperately seeking.I set my jaw, pissed but determined. Two can play this game. What he didn’t realize is that I was already an actress. Anyone working in the service industry has to be. I had mastered the friendly smile and carefree attitude all while inwardly telling someone to go screw themselves a long time ago.I underestimated my opponent, though. As I leaned into the backseat to grab my backpack, he leaned forward to block my face with his as he simply said, “Have a good day.” into my ear. That was it and he leaned back again. Seemingly innocent enough but to a crowd of over one hundred nosy, perpetually horny teenagers, it looked like he just gave me a kiss.It shouldn’t bother me but it did. Part of me rea
Whispers of the Heart Hidden Agenda
“Bye, Daddy” Nate called with a wave.“Bye, buddy. Have a good day!”I shut the truck door, taking Nate’s hand as I led him around the front of the truck, across the street once the traffic was clear and up onto the side walk on the opposite side. Wearing shoes I was not used to actually made my pace stay right with Nate’s, all the way up to the front steps.“Bye, Rory. Love you!” He called as he broke free and took off up the steps without even looking back.“Love you, too.” I called after him but he was already gone.As I turned and walked back down the sidewalk, I had to walk past one of the buses of high school students. I tried to ignore the whistles and cat calls as I hurried past, suddenly questioning my choice of outfit for the first day.I was already going to be the ‘new girl’. That was enough to stand out but I thought it would be smart to dress up, in a fricking skirt no less! Obviously, I should have given this whole scenario a little more thought. I took a deep breath, s
Whispers of the Heart Change of Plans
I walked around them and the table as I grabbed Phil’s lunch pail and opened it up, sitting in on top of the stove to pack it. I opened the refrigerator and loaded the bottom of the cooler with his drink divider ice pack and lined up four bottled waters and two cans of soda from the refrigerator.“Do you want the leftover pizza or should I make you some sandwiches?” I asked him over my shoulder.“Do you want to take the pizza with you?” He asked me back as he looked up at me from the table.“No, I won’t have much of an appetite today. First day jitters and all. I was just going to see what they had in the cafeteria based on how I am feeling at lunchtime. I have a granola bar and a bottle of water already in my bag, too.”“Yeah, just give me the leftovers, then. No sense in you going to all that trouble to make sandwiches when the pizza and cheesesticks need finished up.”“What am I having for lunch today, Mo….Rory?” Nate caught himself.I closed the refrigerator door to look on the ca
Whispers of the Heart That Darn Elephant
“Is that what you are wearing today?” He asked me, his tone gruff with an accusing edge that I did not like in the least.“Yes, it is. Is there a problem with what I am wearing?” We glared at each other for at least three Mississippis before he sighed and looked down.“No, you look amazing.” He answered as he approached the breakfast table and sat down to his plate. “Maybe a little too amazing is all.”“It’s just clothes, Phil.” I answered calmly.He picked up his fork and stabbed at his eggs, stopping as he brought the fork up. “You’re right. I’m being silly and maybe a little more possessive than I have any right to be. I’m sorry. You do look amazing. You would look amazing in a potato sack, though.”I gave him a warm smile and he started eating.“Thank you. I’m gonna go wake up Nate and get him dressed.”I didn’t wait for a response, exiting the kitchen as smoothly as I could. It was getting rather crowded in there this morning, what with that darn elephant back. I opened Nate’s be
Whispers of the Heart First Day Preparations
Barb made John bring me home and drop me off right at midnight, after much protest on my side. She wouldn’t listen to my arguments about it either, insisting that I have more than three hours of sleep before I started my first day.I was both grateful and annoyed. I had already calculated that sleep would not come easy due to nervousness so I had banked on being so exhausted that anxiety would not be an option. Taking being dead on my feet and mentally drained out of the equation, I tossed and turned for the first couple hours after my head hit the pillow, as I knew that I would.By the time I finally started to relax enough to drift off, I had already convinced myself that this was a mistake and that the best thing for me to do was just tell Phil I wanted to continue to home school this senior year and be done with it. Sorta the ‘if it’s not broken, don’t fix it’ mentality.The alarm gave a jump start to my heart right at six and as I threw the quilt back and stood up for a stretch,
Whispers of the Heart Owen Marshall
“Why can’t you see yourself that way. Even better, actually. You mama was pretty but she was not curvy like you are, baby doll. Good Lord, you have a figure I would kill for. You have large, perky bumps there and the hips and booty to match it honey. Embrace those curves. Curves are one hundred percent woman. Every man loves a beautiful curvy red head, baby doll.”“You would know, wouldn’t you?”“Damn straight, sugar. I hated my red hair and pale skin when I was your age. I didn’t think I was pretty but like I said, I eventually realized that I was pretty damn hot. It just takes the right man to make you own it.”I had let my cigarette burn up with only taking a few draws off of it but I hadn't planned on taking up the nasty habit as I put it out. I played with the filter as my cheeks heated in embarrassment at her blatant description of my body. I dropped it into the tray as I hid my face in my hands and leaned by head back in the booth.“Barb, you’re gonna make me die of embarrassme
Whispers of the Heart Confiding in Barb
I was quiet and distracted the rest of the night, finally to the point that when the diner cleared out, Barb pulled me into a booth with a knowing look after motioning to John that we were ready for our dinner, or rather, late night snack for me. Darcy had left around nine and the diner didn’t really clear out until right about the time she left.“Okay, spill.”“Spill what? I feel like I have spilled everything I touched tonight.” I laughed, half joking and trying to deter her from prodding any further.“Pssh. That was just a little juice. You cleaned it up. No harm, no foul. But, since you are already spilling stuff, might as well let me know what’s going on in that head of yours. I saw enough that I could just about guess but I want to make sure I’m on the right track.”I took a deep sigh and looked down, a pick in my apron suddenly very interesting. I didn’t really know where to start so I just blurted out the first thing that I could think of.“Nate had a really good first day at
Whispers of the Heart Tap Water Tension
I moved along to the sneering piece of plastic next to him, my tension coming back tenfold in an instant as I felt my hackles raise. I could tell undoubtedly that she was a “mean girl” as she sized me up, obviously annoyed that I was getting attention that she felt only she deserved. From her heavily applied, flawless makeup to her platinum blond hair and her thick spray tan, I could tell that there wasn’t a single thing genuine about her at all, inside or out.As if she suddenly wanted to be my best friend, she smiled sweetly, a triumphant grin that never reached her viper cold eyes. A grin that I knew meant trouble. “What brands of water do you carry?”“Brands of water?” I repeated, making sure I heard her correctly.She rolled her eyes, appalled at my obvious ignorance. “OMG, God love her! She doesn’t even realize water can have different brands.” She flipped her hair confidently as everyone at the table, besides 'Dark Eyes' and 'Shy Girl', laughed at her joke at my expense. She qui
Whispers of the Heart Dark Eyes
My hands were shaking as I wiped them against my apron. “What just happened?” I thought to myself as I picked up the tray of drinks, balanced them carefully and carried them to tables seven and eight. My reaction both surprised and intrigued me. I dreaded going back to that table now, for more reasons than just a typical pompous, self-centered customer. I managed to get my thoughts together to correctly deliver drinks to both tables and to take their orders. I carried the tickets to the pass, hoping they were correct in my distorted state of mind and sent them through to John before taking another deep breath and heading back toward the table full of what society would term my "peers".Six sets of eyes watched me approach now, some predatory like the jackass that grabbed me and one of the girls in particular, others curious and seeming to size me up. Then, there was Dark Eyes, watching me intensely through hooded lashes, openly staring while remaining completely aloof and indifferent i
