FLASHBACK
She had fixed him a fancy dinner one night when she knew I wasn’t working. She knew would be home to care for Nate and she could flaunt whatever it was she was attempting to accomplish in front of me. She was strolling around the kitchen in stilettos and barely there red lingerie with a matching see through kimono robe, while she cooked, when I had brought Nate back from the park. She had the wine poured and flowing freely already by the sway of her hips, all waiting for when Phil came in from work. I had quickly made Nate a PB&J and had taken him out of there, retreating to his room the moment I saw how she was dressed and what her intentions were.
After I had him fast asleep for the night, I ventured out carefully and, not hearing anyone in the living room or kitchen, I had backtracked to make myself some food. I was starving since Wendy’s presence and attire had prevented me having the chance to get anything to eat at all for myself.
I had barely set down and had taken one bite of my ham sandwich when I heard a banshee wail followed by a couple thuds and Wendy’s angry form barreling out of Phil’s bedroom, heels in hand, cussing with every breath. He was seconds behind her, trying to redress as he scrambled out of the bedroom, begging her to calm down and be quiet.
The moment she saw me sitting at the kitchen table, she let out a pterodactyl war cry and launched her attack. Crossing the room with more of her body hanging out of the lingerie than in, she had raised her hand and slapped me before I even realized what was happening. I was hauled backwards as she grabbed fists full of my hair, dragging me and the chair I sat in to the floor with a violent crash.
“You little bitch!! You are nothing but a whore like your mother!!” She had screamed in rage, letting go of my hair as she raised her hand to me again, towering over me as I shielded myself with my arms. But, the blows never came. Phil had grabbed her arm and spun her, shaking her roughly. “Enough, Wendy! Enough! Get the hell out of my house! Now!”
I grabbed my cheek in shock, the sting causing my eyes to tear up. “What’s going on, Phil?” I asked him, as I scrambled backwards, out of harm’s way.
Wendy started laughing, a maniacal, psychotic sound. “You want to know, you little bitch!” She struggled against Phil, trying to free herself so she could launch herself at me again. “You little slut! You think I don’t see how you lead him on, how you walk around here dressed like a tramp! I’m not stupid! I knew there was something going on between you two and tonight just proves it! How long, huh? How long have you been screwing my man?! Step daughter, my ass! You’re just his little house whore!”
I stared at her like she had just grown another head. I had no clue what she was talking about, why she was so angry and clueless as to why she was attacking me and calling me all these names.
Phil was trying to pull her toward the door, trying to throw her out but her fit was adrenaline fueled and in her mind, justified. She kept fighting to break loose and get at me time and time again. She kicked and scratched and bit at Phil every step of the way as he hauled her closer and closer to the back door.
“Wendy, I don’t know what you are talking about!” I dodged her next attack as she temporarily broke free and dove at me, claws out and ready. Just in time, Phil wrapped both arms around her waist and drug her backwards again.
“Oh yeah!” She shrieked, looking completely deranged. “Then why did he call out YOUR name while he was inside me!”
Time stopped as I gasped in horror and shook my head, denying what she was saying, what she was implying. She was lying. She had to be.
“WENDY! ENOUGH!” He bellowed as he dragged her to the door and pushed her out it, shoving her down the steps and to her car.
“Aurora, grab her purse and keys! She’s leaving!”
I scrambled to grab them and followed down the steps and out the drive in my socked feet, the night dampness seeping through them. I shoved her stuff inside her car as he was still struggling to get her under control just a few feet away. She continued to cuss and scream at me as I ran back inside. I threw my sandwich away and hurried to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I stripped my wet socks off and dumped them in the floor at the foot of the bed as I climbed in and brought my quilt up to my chin, tucking myself in tightly.
I was still wide awake and heard Phil come back after a couple hours. He stopped by my door so I stayed quiet and still, counting the seconds until I heard him move on. Only when I heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start did I let out the breath I had been holding. I stayed quiet the rest of the night, hearing Phil move around the house. Sometime after midnight, I heard him finally head to bed. The rest of the night, I just laid there and played the scene through my mind over and over again. Only after I heard Phil get up and leave the house for work, I left my room and joined Nate, curling up next to his little body in his bed and managing to catch a couple hours sleep before he woke me up.
I haven’t seen Wendy since that night, not even around town, and Phil and I have never talked about it but things have not been the same between us. I now know that he sees me differently, sees me as a woman. I don't know when this started. I have never caught him looking at me with the looks you would expect from someone attracted to another person.Not that I have anything to go off of other than remembering the looks on the faces of those men as they watched her. That was a piss poor comparison, at best. Primal lust and physical attraction are supposed to look differently, aren't they? That's how it's portrayed in the movies and in the romance novels, my only sources for sex education. I would have noticed if he had been looking at me differently, right? From what I can recall, he barely looked at me at all. Or did he and I was too busy taking care of Nate to pay attention. Did he start seeing me as an object of desire and I was just too naive to notice?Like I said, Phil is an at
As much as I would have liked to have stalled or ran away altogether, I knew I couldn’t. I didn’t know exactly how this conversation was going to go but I, at least, owed Phil enough to have it. He had taken me in and let me live with them when he knew he didn’t have to. I could have easily been tossed into the system, ending up in a foster home somewhere halfway across the country but I didn’t. I know part of it was him feeling that he owed me for taking care of Nate when he wasn’t around and another equal part not knowing how to take care of Nate and be a father himself. For the time, it just worked out for all of us. I took care of Nate and the house, worked when I could and either gave him money to help with bills or bought groceries and necessities for the house.Neither of us ever thought to question the arrangement until it was forced upon us. I grew up. I was no longer the scrawny, awkward fourteen year old girl he took guardianship of that tragic night. He saved me and I, in
I had confided in her months ago about what had happened that night that Wendy attacked me. She had said the moment that Wendy moved in that she would not last. That she had known that woman all her life and that she was the desperate type. Not only that, she told me straight up that Wendy hated me so much because she was jealous. Jealous of how beautiful I was, her words not mine, and jealous that I already had Phil wrapped around my finger.I had scoffed at this, refusing to see it or believe it until that night. I confessed to Barb that I just didn’t know what to do just a couple weeks ago. On a particularly slow evening with not a customer in sight, we sat down as Barb lit up a cigarette between those ruby red lips and after taking a couple long draws, she told me exactly what she thought on the matter. Barb suggested that I give Phil a chance, if he ever was brave enough to make the move and straight up tell me how he felt. She had drummed her fingers on the wood of the table as
She tamped out her cigarette before leaning back with a deep sigh. “I see your point, kid. That is tough. But, that was a long time ago and your momma is long gone from this world. That doesn’t seem to bother him too much now, though, does it?”“Men are different. I remember what it was like for them to be together, though. Janet had always struggled as a mom. She wanted to be my friend more than my parent. She liked to party, drink and do drugs. She smoked marijuana and would snort pills but nothing more than that, not at first. I got drug around with her to every party she went to from the moment my granny died when I was eight. It’s any wonder I didn’t end up being abused when I look back on it.”“She was different when she got with Phil.” I continued pouring my heart out, unable to stop now as Barb just sat and listened. “She tamed her ways, something I never thought would happen. She acted like a real mom, for once. They lived together and seemed happy and in love. He worked, she
The conversation I had with Barb replayed over and over again in my head the entire walk back to the little white sided, three bedroom house with the white picket fence. Phil owned it or was in the process of owning it, I knew that. He made the mortgage payment every single month. It was a nice little starter home, nothing extravagant but comfortable and I had added feminine touches over the years to make it feel like a home. A nice place for Nate to grow up in and it was.Phil and I didn’t fight. Nate was healthy and had a happy childhood. Phil and I together, co-parenting, was all that Nate had ever known. He knew I was his sister but he slipped and called me “mom” as much as he called me Rory. Neither of us ever corrected him when he did, either. As long as he was happy. It was like all three of us had accepted that this was our family, our dynamic and it was, as long as it remained safe and platonic.Phil was hard working. He was the day shift crew chief down at our local saw mill.
I took a few calming, deep breaths as I swung the traitorous gate back and snapped the latch into place. As I passed underneath the plantar box edge I had filled with marigolds, I glanced up into the kitchen window and locked eyes with Phil as he watched me walk past. I offered him a small smile that he did not reciprocate. His face remained void of any emotion whatsoever. Maybe he was just as freaked out about this conversation as I was.“Only one way to find out”, I thought to myself as I climbed the three small steps and grabbed the door knob, twisting it and giving the door a gentle push. With one last deep breath, I crossed the threshold and closed it behind me before calmly walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the retro red formica table with silver metal trim.Phil was still at the window, his back turned to me and I let my gaze trail down his body appreciatively. He was of average height, around six feet tall. His muscles were solid and his figure lean, just visibly de
He turned to me and leaned back against the sink with his arms wrapped defensively around himself. He shrugged his shoulders before answering, “I don’t know. I was hoping you might be able to tell me. She just disappeared on me. Took you and left. I found out later from somebody that had seen you all that she was pregnant and I wanted to see if it were true and do the right thing so I started looking until I found her.I chased her down to see if Nate was mine, hoping if he was, that we could work it out and get back together but she didn’t want to have anything to do with me by that point. I’m sure you remember that fight that night. She even claimed he wasn’t my kid but I knew better so I pushed. I pushed for the paternity test. She pushed back for child support. I signed all the paperwork and I let her have whatever she wanted cause I figured that we would still end up back together at some point.I had heard through the grapevine that she got hooked on drugs again but I didn’t beli
“Let me ask you this,” he reached across the table and grazed my knuckles with the tips of his fingers. The act was innocent enough but never having had any physical interaction with someone of the opposite sex before, especially someone who had just admitted to finding me desirable, it sent butterflies through my stomach. “Do you find me attractive?”I looked up at him, meeting his intense stare and felt heat rush to my cheeks. I took a deep breath before speaking. “Honestly, I can say yes. Yes, I think you are a handsome man, an attractive man.”“But….”“But, I’ve never looked at you like that or thought of you in that way before today.”“Do you think you could?”It was my turn to stand up and pace. “I don’t know, Phil. I just don’t. This closeness now is having an affect on me but it's all so new that I'm not sure what I am feeling. I’m not even eighteen years old. I have been raising Nate since the moment he was born. I have never even had a first crush let alone a first kiss, a f
I tried to control the annoyance I felt at his stunt, knowing I would be unable to do anything about it at the moment. If I said anything right now, it would look like a lover’s quarrel to anyone outside of this truck and Phil would get that label put on me that he was so desperately seeking.I set my jaw, pissed but determined. Two can play this game. What he didn’t realize is that I was already an actress. Anyone working in the service industry has to be. I had mastered the friendly smile and carefree attitude all while inwardly telling someone to go screw themselves a long time ago.I underestimated my opponent, though. As I leaned into the backseat to grab my backpack, he leaned forward to block my face with his as he simply said, “Have a good day.” into my ear. That was it and he leaned back again. Seemingly innocent enough but to a crowd of over one hundred nosy, perpetually horny teenagers, it looked like he just gave me a kiss.It shouldn’t bother me but it did. Part of me rea
“Bye, Daddy” Nate called with a wave.“Bye, buddy. Have a good day!”I shut the truck door, taking Nate’s hand as I led him around the front of the truck, across the street once the traffic was clear and up onto the side walk on the opposite side. Wearing shoes I was not used to actually made my pace stay right with Nate’s, all the way up to the front steps.“Bye, Rory. Love you!” He called as he broke free and took off up the steps without even looking back.“Love you, too.” I called after him but he was already gone.As I turned and walked back down the sidewalk, I had to walk past one of the buses of high school students. I tried to ignore the whistles and cat calls as I hurried past, suddenly questioning my choice of outfit for the first day.I was already going to be the ‘new girl’. That was enough to stand out but I thought it would be smart to dress up, in a fricking skirt no less! Obviously, I should have given this whole scenario a little more thought. I took a deep breath, s
I walked around them and the table as I grabbed Phil’s lunch pail and opened it up, sitting in on top of the stove to pack it. I opened the refrigerator and loaded the bottom of the cooler with his drink divider ice pack and lined up four bottled waters and two cans of soda from the refrigerator.“Do you want the leftover pizza or should I make you some sandwiches?” I asked him over my shoulder.“Do you want to take the pizza with you?” He asked me back as he looked up at me from the table.“No, I won’t have much of an appetite today. First day jitters and all. I was just going to see what they had in the cafeteria based on how I am feeling at lunchtime. I have a granola bar and a bottle of water already in my bag, too.”“Yeah, just give me the leftovers, then. No sense in you going to all that trouble to make sandwiches when the pizza and cheesesticks need finished up.”“What am I having for lunch today, Mo….Rory?” Nate caught himself.I closed the refrigerator door to look on the ca
“Is that what you are wearing today?” He asked me, his tone gruff with an accusing edge that I did not like in the least.“Yes, it is. Is there a problem with what I am wearing?” We glared at each other for at least three Mississippis before he sighed and looked down.“No, you look amazing.” He answered as he approached the breakfast table and sat down to his plate. “Maybe a little too amazing is all.”“It’s just clothes, Phil.” I answered calmly.He picked up his fork and stabbed at his eggs, stopping as he brought the fork up. “You’re right. I’m being silly and maybe a little more possessive than I have any right to be. I’m sorry. You do look amazing. You would look amazing in a potato sack, though.”I gave him a warm smile and he started eating.“Thank you. I’m gonna go wake up Nate and get him dressed.”I didn’t wait for a response, exiting the kitchen as smoothly as I could. It was getting rather crowded in there this morning, what with that darn elephant back. I opened Nate’s be
Barb made John bring me home and drop me off right at midnight, after much protest on my side. She wouldn’t listen to my arguments about it either, insisting that I have more than three hours of sleep before I started my first day.I was both grateful and annoyed. I had already calculated that sleep would not come easy due to nervousness so I had banked on being so exhausted that anxiety would not be an option. Taking being dead on my feet and mentally drained out of the equation, I tossed and turned for the first couple hours after my head hit the pillow, as I knew that I would.By the time I finally started to relax enough to drift off, I had already convinced myself that this was a mistake and that the best thing for me to do was just tell Phil I wanted to continue to home school this senior year and be done with it. Sorta the ‘if it’s not broken, don’t fix it’ mentality.The alarm gave a jump start to my heart right at six and as I threw the quilt back and stood up for a stretch,
“Why can’t you see yourself that way. Even better, actually. You mama was pretty but she was not curvy like you are, baby doll. Good Lord, you have a figure I would kill for. You have large, perky bumps there and the hips and booty to match it honey. Embrace those curves. Curves are one hundred percent woman. Every man loves a beautiful curvy red head, baby doll.”“You would know, wouldn’t you?”“Damn straight, sugar. I hated my red hair and pale skin when I was your age. I didn’t think I was pretty but like I said, I eventually realized that I was pretty damn hot. It just takes the right man to make you own it.”I had let my cigarette burn up with only taking a few draws off of it but I hadn't planned on taking up the nasty habit as I put it out. I played with the filter as my cheeks heated in embarrassment at her blatant description of my body. I dropped it into the tray as I hid my face in my hands and leaned by head back in the booth.“Barb, you’re gonna make me die of embarrassme
I was quiet and distracted the rest of the night, finally to the point that when the diner cleared out, Barb pulled me into a booth with a knowing look after motioning to John that we were ready for our dinner, or rather, late night snack for me. Darcy had left around nine and the diner didn’t really clear out until right about the time she left.“Okay, spill.”“Spill what? I feel like I have spilled everything I touched tonight.” I laughed, half joking and trying to deter her from prodding any further.“Pssh. That was just a little juice. You cleaned it up. No harm, no foul. But, since you are already spilling stuff, might as well let me know what’s going on in that head of yours. I saw enough that I could just about guess but I want to make sure I’m on the right track.”I took a deep sigh and looked down, a pick in my apron suddenly very interesting. I didn’t really know where to start so I just blurted out the first thing that I could think of.“Nate had a really good first day at
I moved along to the sneering piece of plastic next to him, my tension coming back tenfold in an instant as I felt my hackles raise. I could tell undoubtedly that she was a “mean girl” as she sized me up, obviously annoyed that I was getting attention that she felt only she deserved. From her heavily applied, flawless makeup to her platinum blond hair and her thick spray tan, I could tell that there wasn’t a single thing genuine about her at all, inside or out.As if she suddenly wanted to be my best friend, she smiled sweetly, a triumphant grin that never reached her viper cold eyes. A grin that I knew meant trouble. “What brands of water do you carry?”“Brands of water?” I repeated, making sure I heard her correctly.She rolled her eyes, appalled at my obvious ignorance. “OMG, God love her! She doesn’t even realize water can have different brands.” She flipped her hair confidently as everyone at the table, besides 'Dark Eyes' and 'Shy Girl', laughed at her joke at my expense. She qui
My hands were shaking as I wiped them against my apron. “What just happened?” I thought to myself as I picked up the tray of drinks, balanced them carefully and carried them to tables seven and eight. My reaction both surprised and intrigued me. I dreaded going back to that table now, for more reasons than just a typical pompous, self-centered customer. I managed to get my thoughts together to correctly deliver drinks to both tables and to take their orders. I carried the tickets to the pass, hoping they were correct in my distorted state of mind and sent them through to John before taking another deep breath and heading back toward the table full of what society would term my "peers".Six sets of eyes watched me approach now, some predatory like the jackass that grabbed me and one of the girls in particular, others curious and seeming to size me up. Then, there was Dark Eyes, watching me intensely through hooded lashes, openly staring while remaining completely aloof and indifferent i