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When the bully falls in love 108
“How do you perceive the queen’s language, do you love it, can you read between the lines, beyond the lines and finally the lines themselves?’’ The whole class was quiet as we listened. Literature was one of the best classes. It made me like school, the teacher was male and he always loved twisting facts and everything. “As a teacher, if you came out of this class unchanged, not questioning the things around you, I would have failed as a person, it would be personal and I would resign from this job.’’ “You can just fail, we don’t care?’’ someone said within the class and we all laughed. “Exactly, those are the reactions I want, we read Anna KARENNINA BY Leo Tolstoy and it was another story, heart touching, with some controversial facts. But today, I want us to talk about other things that the society is ashamed of, what no one dares to talk about, what the society is trying so hard to burry and literature wants to unearth,’’ he breathed and smiled as we all listened attentively. A
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Life is a game and if you are not playing, chances are high that you are the one being played. Someone grabbed my collar from the back and began strangling me. I struggled to breath as they tried to drug me with my collar. “ Wh- what, uuuh—auh-- , I struggled to talk as the grip grew tighter. “ Get up,’’ a voice that I knew very well roared. I struggled to say some words and his grip on my throat tightened as he threatened to lock out every breath of air from getting to my lungs. There was some confusion, why was he here, why was he doing this. “What?’’ I finally found the guts the breath and to ask what was wrong with him. A small and sharp kick met my back as the tug on my collar got adjusted. Shocked coursed through every part of me as confusion followed. I sat there and watched as he drugged my frame on the grass with difficulty. Finally nable to take it anymore I lifted my frame up and turned around to face my tormentor. Before I could even get a better look, he grabbed
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“You are a careless, graceless, loose and callow lover.’’ The words kept on revibrating inside my head, I couldn’t drive them out. I wasn’t all that, I wasn’t what he said, I was good, I was better, I was a queen, I was Perez. I was not anyone’s extra, I could be the main character in my life. Would I spend my whole life trying to please everyone? That was utterly impossible. Whoever spends their whole life trying to please people will forever stay in their prison. I remembered the famous quote by a philosopher and tried hard to be a better person. I could not run away from who I was, no matter how much I tried. The real me was scared, fat and ugly, the real me wanted to please the bully. After crying for hours, I walked back to class, wearing my trained fake face that looked happy, the least I could do was try to be okay. The next lesson was life psychology and I sat there as I listened to the teacher talk about everything. “For this lesson, I will need you to work in pairs
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The scariest place I have ever been to is the same as my favorite place, my mind. It’s an adventure that ruins me and sometimes make me whole. What words or actions can’t heal, time will. That’s what I thought. How could someone be so full of life and love and suddenly, it all left them. How could Vince be so full of love to me, then in a moment, it all flips like he has a switch that turns on his bad side. From the sweet caring boy to the mean and evil bully. All I attracted were broken and dysfunctional people, Vince was one of them. It looked like I was some mechanic who attracted all the broken cars in town. Dear God, was I meant to be a mechanic? Home was never an escape from all my troubles, and school wasn’t either, the only safe place was my mind and I knew what a short trip up there would do to me. I settled on a lonely spot, away from the road and prying eyes, on a lonely bench. Out of curiosity, I took out the letter from my partner in class, I knew I would never read
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Home was another prison, one where I was held without handcuffs because I had no other option, I couldn’t run away from that prison. Even if I did, my reality would still catch up with me and remind me about who I am. As usual, my first nightmare was seated on the door step, right in front of me. Things would have been better if I always arrived home to find some French fries and chicken on the door step rather than Sandra’s face. “Hey,’’ she greeted first as I stood at the bottom of the stairs at the front porch. “Hmm,’’ I replied nodding my head. “This is the part where I am supposed to pretend that I care, this is the part where I should run straight to you and hug you, welcome you back home and pretend that I am glad my sister did not die, isn’t it?’’ I asked genuinely. “Well, I don’t know, I was hoping you would, I was hoping you would come and see me in hospital, my mum came, then dad, then there were other people with their families and kids, I wanted to pretend that I had
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I gulped down a fake lump in my throat as I entered the living room. There was a change in décor, not that I cared. The living room was now decorated with some gold palms to balance the Porsche modern interior design. Next, I spotted some balloons and new party decors. I heaved a sigh of disappointment wishing that the bright colors in the living room wouldn’t be a part of my life for the next few weeks. Sandra and her mum had always been full of color, perhaps too vibrant for me, their face lit in every room they walked to, they were bold and tried out every god damn bright color, I hated them I hated the fact that yellow, pink, red orange and all the bright colors that I hated looked good on them. “Honey, why don’t you take your bag upstairs and come back down?’’ my step mum asked after she noticed that I was just standing their staring at everything with a blank expression like a lost puppy. “Okay,’’ I replied before as my dad smiled my way. He looked changed, decent, calm and a
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“Sometimes, the job is a little bit hard, sometimes life is a little bit rough, we all want someone to care if we make it home tonight,’’ The whole room, nodded as my step mama gave her heart touching speech. “We all want to make it home, we all want to go home and sleep next to the people we love, we all want someone to care, and we care, I am happy that my girl made it, for a moment I was scared, but I am proud, I am glad that you are here, you made it home, just in time for your birthday.’’ A whole lot of gasps escaped the crowd. “This is not just a welcome back home from the hospital, this is a birthday too, happy birthday Sandra, happy seventeenth birthday,’’ she shouted as the rest of the crowd joined and a few party materials that I didn’t know flew up in the air. “Happy birthday Sandra, I whispered too, I didn’t want to say it loud. A cake was brought forward with the words happy birthday Sandra written. A statue of a Barbie girl was decorated on its edge, with the numera
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Alice POV (Perez’ mother’’ I never needed drugs everything I loved destroyed me. “ Not my sink, not my dishes,’’ a voice boomed through the house and I shook my head in disbelief. “What do you think everyone is saying when you get yourself drunk to death every day at the bar and carry any slut within your reach home or to a motel?’’ I screamed in anger. “Let me be clearer, not my garden, not my weeds.’’ “Sam, the only reason that I am still here is because of this toddler and Perez, they need a father and a home to grow up in, do you think that they are too young to notice the things that are going on around them?’’ “You just want to make me mad right? Don’t push me to the wall,’’ he screamed as he settled on the seat and turned up the volume of the television. “ I am just trying to tell you to be a man, look at your friends, they drink too, but they have some modicum of respect for their wives and family, a quality that is clearly not one of your attributes.’’ “ I know what yo
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When the bully falls in love 152
A person can never go through life waiting for happiness, you have to make your own, for there is nothing stronger and better like a good memory. “Your eyes make you beautiful, but your lips do more than that, you are a beautiful creation. One that took a few more hours to be made, I would say the creator had some free time to spare during that time,’’ he whispered the words in my ear in a slurry base, that was seductive and enticing. “Are you sure, are my eyes that beautiful,’’ I asked more confused than ever. We kept on having normal and sugar sweet conversations at the top of the stairs, the bully has a heart. I moved towards the room I was supposed to sleep in and he followed behind, helping me, making sure I didn’t fall. I pushed the door open and slid into bed before he pulled out the covers and made sure I was neatly tucked in. “You are such a good soul, what demons always take over you every day, what really happens?’’ I asked slowly as I felt sleep taking a toll on me.
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I pushed the large window to open fully and watched as he jumped in with a loud thud. ‘‘Be silent, someone is going to hear you,’’ I warned in a whisper as I suppressed a little girls giggle. It felt I was torn between leaving my window open so the bully could witness everything. He always made sure he gave me lessons at love with his little conquests every day, by leaving his window open, and putting the lights on so could watch every little detail, every single step as they kissed with him lifting his small whores against and doing all kinds of stuff to them. like I was cheating on him, so I pulled the window closed and turned around. ‘‘Heeeeeeey,’’ he greeted again as he pulled me into a warm hug. ‘‘Heey, ‘’ I greeted back as I hugged him too. ‘‘You smell so nice,’’ he commented as he pulled me closer to inhale his masculine scent. ‘‘Your cologne is also awesome,’’ I complemented, ‘‘What is it called?’’ I asked even though was sure that I would forget the name as soon as he
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I mouthed an awful goodnight to everyone at the table and didn’t stay behind long enough to hear wherever they would, say. I was just done with humanity and everything about them. ‘‘Don’t forget about tomorrow, its along day,’’ my papa screamed as hr shouted goodnight too. IO smiled and nodded my head before taking the flight of stairs towards my room. I got in closed the door and laid on the floor flat, with my head facing the wall. This room was my safe place, it was one of the only places in the world where I felt whole, The ceiling board was familiar as usual, the normal designs, the walls boring as ever. Boring and me always belonged in the same sentence, my life was boring, terribly boring, nothing about it could spark or raise eyebrows, it wasn’t even spiced up a little. I closed my eyes and just lay there for almost an hour, I wanted to feel nothing, I wanted to be numb to emotion, immune to love or hurt. I didn’t want to be human anymore. My headache was getting even w
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‘‘Beauty is all around you, all you have to do is open your eyes and see it’’ Dinner was boring as usual; it was just the sound of forks and spoons clinking on the plate as we all savored whatever was left inside our plates. The only time I ever felt alive was when I was eating. Food made me feel whole, it made feel like looking up to the next meal. There was a conversation going on around me, I made myself immune to whatever was being said, I blocked the words from reaching my ears. I had already given up, died inside a long time ago, the only thing I was doing right now was feeling up my body. I did not have a soul. I focused on the sounds the fork and knife made as it hit my plate and objectified my food as I became totally absent from everything that was happening around me. A hand tapped my shoulder and I gasped loudly in shock. ‘‘Sorry, but are you okay?’’ It was my step mama again, what was she even trying to do, by being good to me out of the blue. ‘‘I am fine,’’ I repli
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Every day, people ask if you are okay. A random stranger inside the bus pretends to care and ask if you are fine, because your palms are sweating, or your lips trembling, from your struggle with anxiety. But most of the time, no one does, its pretense. The moment I got into the house, I wish I didn’t, they all seemed to be in a happy mood, happy for no good reason and I feared they might want me to join them and perhaps, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to, lest they notice that my spirit has given up. ‘‘Hellooooo,’’ my father greeted as he stood up to come and say hi. I was really uncomfortable and he knew, I wasn’t up for all the happy merry, the high vibes, I wanted it low and quiet, I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. That’s how a child grows up when their mother abandons them, it’s the only way for them to cope up, you lay low and lock up all your feelings in a cage, you become numb, because feelings are useless, humans abuse them all the time, you better not have them. ‘‘Hey pa
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I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked
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“ Well , that was my mama, she is preparing…’’ oooups, I almost ruined the surprise. “ What surprise, I thought you said it,’’ I asked even more curious and surprised. “ Well, I guess you will just have to wait and trust me on this,’’ she laughed as she threw her hair back while looking at me. “ I got to go, brush my teeth and stuff, I have been sleeping since forever,’’ I cried. “ And yesterday, I tried calling you several times, you weren’t picking.’’ “Really? What time?’’ “ At night, wanted to face time you now, and gossip, and anormal stuff, okay, okay, I can be too much sometimes, let that slide,’’ she spoke fast. “ Is that Barbra feeling insecure?’’ I laughed at the thought. She was one of the most confident human being that I knew who existed in planet earth, confidence and her always belonged in one sentence. “Lol, go get a shower and eat whatever you getting for breakfast, but I warn you, be ready for the surprise,’’ she winked before blowing kisses in the air and han
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I pulled the window down and drew back the curtains before standing on that position for a while , while just inhaling and exhaling the air around e. It was full of Cage, his scent everything. Perhaps all we need is a little lo9ve, all humanity needs is a little love to save it form drowning some one to care, someone to hug and hold your hand. I coiled in bed and hugged the balloon he had brought. It was laying on my chest with my hands draped around it as it felt warm. He was the sign, a sign form heaven above, a miracle, everything that I had hoped I would have but was too sacred to admit. I pulled up the sheets and turned off the bedside lamp, before closing my eyers. The balloon was still in my arms and my head was supported on the part of the bed where Cage had been sitting, it felt different, it felt better, it still smelt of him, it made me want to try again. *** It was another morning, a Saturday. Saturdays always felt so boring, boring because I was always stuck at home
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Sometimes all you need is a little love. A big hug, and someone to care. It heals the soul, repairs wounds that are beneath the skin and makes someone want to live again. ‘‘Tell me, what is it like?’’ Cage asked. ‘‘What is what like?’’ I laughed back. We were sitting in a position that I still couldn’t believe. Vince should probably see this, see me happy, see someone treating me like a human being. I wanted a picture of this moment, I wanted to remember it so that the next time the bullies threw a fracas or decided to belittle me, I would literally through the image on their faces and run. Nothing slaps differently and hits hard like seeing your enemy happy, that is why the ice cream incident affected them so much. ‘‘ I mean being you, sleeping in this big bed like a princess and having a magnificent view of the town and street from your window, I can’t imagine,’’ he said as he tickled my nose. He was laying on my bed with his back, with a billow over his lap and me laying on
