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When the bully falls in love 115
Alice POV (Perez’ mother’’ I never needed drugs everything I loved destroyed me. “ Not my sink, not my dishes,’’ a voice boomed through the house and I shook my head in disbelief. “What do you think everyone is saying when you get yourself drunk to death every day at the bar and carry any slut within your reach home or to a motel?’’ I screamed in anger. “Let me be clearer, not my garden, not my weeds.’’ “Sam, the only reason that I am still here is because of this toddler and Perez, they need a father and a home to grow up in, do you think that they are too young to notice the things that are going on around them?’’ “You just want to make me mad right? Don’t push me to the wall,’’ he screamed as he settled on the seat and turned up the volume of the television. “ I am just trying to tell you to be a man, look at your friends, they drink too, but they have some modicum of respect for their wives and family, a quality that is clearly not one of your attributes.’’ “ I know what yo
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“And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do anything that you want. What do you call it, Freedom or Loneliness?’’ -Charles Bukowski. Parties were awesome, a group of people celebrating an event in the world. Parties were great, they were an expression of love, of unity, of care, they are occasions where a group of people come together and become vulnerable as they laugh and drink wine. In my world, the way I viewed everything from my Lense, parties were a living hell, they were a space that reminded me of what I always wanted to become and why I was not all that. They drained my energy and space and right now was one of the best moments of my life indie my room, after the party that almost killed me. Why would I throw up all the cake that I ate? I kept asking myself the same question, a small headache was building up on the corner of my forehead. How could all this be happening to me, in a span of a moment, I would lick
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There were two soft knocks on my door and I adjusted my position quickly, realizing I didn’t close the door. “Sandra,’’ I heaved under my breathe as she walked in and closed the door. “Well Cage, something came up, let me call you later,’’ I whispered on the phone before he agreed and hung up. I sat up with a blank expression non my face, with Sandra and her mom, I had learnt to expect all Suprises. I had learnt that people manipulated everything around them to get what they want, even kids. And just like mothers, so do daughters inherit. The mother’s injuries are handed down to the daughter. I recalled a random line I had heard in a movie and closed my eyes. perhaps it was true. “Why are you here?’’ I asked. “Well, you are my sister…’’ she began and I watched her eyebrows move before her mouth curved into a sympathetic shape. “Step sister,’’ I corrected. “Okay, well, still sister, she smiled. “You know one of the things have learned from pretending tp be a perfect hero is
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Alice POV “Mommy, are you and daddy, okay?’’ “We are okay, why are you asking?’’ I asked Perez as I tucked her into bed. “What is a divorce?’’ she asked bluntly. “What is a divorce?’’ she repeated again lie it was nothing. “Where did you hear that word?’’ I inquired. My heart was racing, things had been bad between Michael and I and I had not yet thought about divorce. The thought that I might get one had been at the back of my mind for ages but I still didn’t know where I would go with two kids. Charles was a toddler and Perez was seven. I couldn’t tell when things in my marriage had gotten so bad, all I know is that one day I woke up and everything was different, I had two kids and the man next to me was a different person. The devil’s mutant. “I heard dad say that he wants a divorce over the phone,’’ Perez’ calm voice brought me back to reality and I felt my whole world crush at the words that she said. “What did you just say?’’ I thundered. “I am sorry, I wasn’t eavesdropp
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I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked
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I was seated quietly ,trembling, not knowing what to do. Was the bully secretly in love with me too? What could be the problem? What could have transpired. He looked confused today, her couldn’t decide whether to be sweet, rude or arrogant the way he was every day. It was unlike Vince to be anything other than rude, violent and abusive. He was a mixture of all three. All three blended at once to produce a very rude bully who didn’t want to see me win or succeed in life. The whole class couldn’t picture what was going on yet? They couldn’t find something to laugh about too. Everyone was looking at us, not at us but at Vince specifically, demanding answers, answers of why he hadn’t done something big yet, answers of why he hadn’t made a big super human move yet. My crimes were great, they were big, I doubted if Jesus himself would have agreed to die for me today, if at all he came back and God asked him to save Fatrez specifically, would he have died for me. Let alone die, would he ha
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The next lessons passed like a blur, I was hardly listening and fantasized about stupid stuff throughout the lessons. I locked myself bout of class and played poker, chess and watched a movie inside my head. Being delusional was a very good calling, for one you could never get bored anywhere, your head could always keep playing movies inside to keep you busy and entertained.The tea break bell rung and I rushed out of class very happy and glad, that finally I would get to pout something in my stomach.The usual breakfast, a pitcher of milk, some juice, and a few accompaniments. I sat down with my food and began scoping happily while taking time to drink everything, so I could savor all the sweetness and the taste. I noticed a figure in front of me and looked up in surprise before continuing to take my breakfast.Didn’t Sasha know that there was a pact for peace, if anything, she should be aware and look for a new hobby.“Why are you acting so mighty and important out of the blue?’’ sh
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‘‘Calm down, someone will get to hear us,’’ a male voice called out as it laughed deeply in a heavy masculine voice.‘‘What no, no one can hear u, we are at the furthest corner of the school, I could scream for all I want,’’ a lady voice that was awfully familiar called out.The excitement in the voices was evident as they came closer. I looked around for a place to hide. The trees around weren’t too being for me to hide behind them. They were tall and slim which only meant that I would be more than visible behind them. If I decided to sprint to another corner, it would be too late. They would have spotted me already.The male voice wasn’t Vince or the bullies that I knew about. Did he send different scouts, or were they the thieves who stole my clothes.‘‘How dare you look down on thieves when you are the grand one, remember Sandra’s clothes, the washing soap, this is karma kissing you hard and fast,’’ my subconscious warned and laughed at me.No person could ever be sane when differ
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A person can never go through life waiting for happiness, you have to make your own, for there is nothing stronger and better like a good memory. “Your eyes make you beautiful, but your lips do more than that, you are a beautiful creation. One that took a few more hours to be made, I would say the creator had some free time to spare during that time,’’ he whispered the words in my ear in a slurry base, that was seductive and enticing. “Are you sure, are my eyes that beautiful,’’ I asked more confused than ever. We kept on having normal and sugar sweet conversations at the top of the stairs, the bully has a heart. I moved towards the room I was supposed to sleep in and he followed behind, helping me, making sure I didn’t fall. I pushed the door open and slid into bed before he pulled out the covers and made sure I was neatly tucked in. “You are such a good soul, what demons always take over you every day, what really happens?’’ I asked slowly as I felt sleep taking a toll on me.
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I pushed the large window to open fully and watched as he jumped in with a loud thud. ‘‘Be silent, someone is going to hear you,’’ I warned in a whisper as I suppressed a little girls giggle. It felt I was torn between leaving my window open so the bully could witness everything. He always made sure he gave me lessons at love with his little conquests every day, by leaving his window open, and putting the lights on so could watch every little detail, every single step as they kissed with him lifting his small whores against and doing all kinds of stuff to them. like I was cheating on him, so I pulled the window closed and turned around. ‘‘Heeeeeeey,’’ he greeted again as he pulled me into a warm hug. ‘‘Heey, ‘’ I greeted back as I hugged him too. ‘‘You smell so nice,’’ he commented as he pulled me closer to inhale his masculine scent. ‘‘Your cologne is also awesome,’’ I complemented, ‘‘What is it called?’’ I asked even though was sure that I would forget the name as soon as he
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I mouthed an awful goodnight to everyone at the table and didn’t stay behind long enough to hear wherever they would, say. I was just done with humanity and everything about them. ‘‘Don’t forget about tomorrow, its along day,’’ my papa screamed as hr shouted goodnight too. IO smiled and nodded my head before taking the flight of stairs towards my room. I got in closed the door and laid on the floor flat, with my head facing the wall. This room was my safe place, it was one of the only places in the world where I felt whole, The ceiling board was familiar as usual, the normal designs, the walls boring as ever. Boring and me always belonged in the same sentence, my life was boring, terribly boring, nothing about it could spark or raise eyebrows, it wasn’t even spiced up a little. I closed my eyes and just lay there for almost an hour, I wanted to feel nothing, I wanted to be numb to emotion, immune to love or hurt. I didn’t want to be human anymore. My headache was getting even w
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‘‘Beauty is all around you, all you have to do is open your eyes and see it’’ Dinner was boring as usual; it was just the sound of forks and spoons clinking on the plate as we all savored whatever was left inside our plates. The only time I ever felt alive was when I was eating. Food made me feel whole, it made feel like looking up to the next meal. There was a conversation going on around me, I made myself immune to whatever was being said, I blocked the words from reaching my ears. I had already given up, died inside a long time ago, the only thing I was doing right now was feeling up my body. I did not have a soul. I focused on the sounds the fork and knife made as it hit my plate and objectified my food as I became totally absent from everything that was happening around me. A hand tapped my shoulder and I gasped loudly in shock. ‘‘Sorry, but are you okay?’’ It was my step mama again, what was she even trying to do, by being good to me out of the blue. ‘‘I am fine,’’ I repli
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Every day, people ask if you are okay. A random stranger inside the bus pretends to care and ask if you are fine, because your palms are sweating, or your lips trembling, from your struggle with anxiety. But most of the time, no one does, its pretense. The moment I got into the house, I wish I didn’t, they all seemed to be in a happy mood, happy for no good reason and I feared they might want me to join them and perhaps, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to, lest they notice that my spirit has given up. ‘‘Hellooooo,’’ my father greeted as he stood up to come and say hi. I was really uncomfortable and he knew, I wasn’t up for all the happy merry, the high vibes, I wanted it low and quiet, I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. That’s how a child grows up when their mother abandons them, it’s the only way for them to cope up, you lay low and lock up all your feelings in a cage, you become numb, because feelings are useless, humans abuse them all the time, you better not have them. ‘‘Hey pa
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I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked
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“ Well , that was my mama, she is preparing…’’ oooups, I almost ruined the surprise. “ What surprise, I thought you said it,’’ I asked even more curious and surprised. “ Well, I guess you will just have to wait and trust me on this,’’ she laughed as she threw her hair back while looking at me. “ I got to go, brush my teeth and stuff, I have been sleeping since forever,’’ I cried. “ And yesterday, I tried calling you several times, you weren’t picking.’’ “Really? What time?’’ “ At night, wanted to face time you now, and gossip, and anormal stuff, okay, okay, I can be too much sometimes, let that slide,’’ she spoke fast. “ Is that Barbra feeling insecure?’’ I laughed at the thought. She was one of the most confident human being that I knew who existed in planet earth, confidence and her always belonged in one sentence. “Lol, go get a shower and eat whatever you getting for breakfast, but I warn you, be ready for the surprise,’’ she winked before blowing kisses in the air and han
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I pulled the window down and drew back the curtains before standing on that position for a while , while just inhaling and exhaling the air around e. It was full of Cage, his scent everything. Perhaps all we need is a little lo9ve, all humanity needs is a little love to save it form drowning some one to care, someone to hug and hold your hand. I coiled in bed and hugged the balloon he had brought. It was laying on my chest with my hands draped around it as it felt warm. He was the sign, a sign form heaven above, a miracle, everything that I had hoped I would have but was too sacred to admit. I pulled up the sheets and turned off the bedside lamp, before closing my eyers. The balloon was still in my arms and my head was supported on the part of the bed where Cage had been sitting, it felt different, it felt better, it still smelt of him, it made me want to try again. *** It was another morning, a Saturday. Saturdays always felt so boring, boring because I was always stuck at home
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Sometimes all you need is a little love. A big hug, and someone to care. It heals the soul, repairs wounds that are beneath the skin and makes someone want to live again. ‘‘Tell me, what is it like?’’ Cage asked. ‘‘What is what like?’’ I laughed back. We were sitting in a position that I still couldn’t believe. Vince should probably see this, see me happy, see someone treating me like a human being. I wanted a picture of this moment, I wanted to remember it so that the next time the bullies threw a fracas or decided to belittle me, I would literally through the image on their faces and run. Nothing slaps differently and hits hard like seeing your enemy happy, that is why the ice cream incident affected them so much. ‘‘ I mean being you, sleeping in this big bed like a princess and having a magnificent view of the town and street from your window, I can’t imagine,’’ he said as he tickled my nose. He was laying on my bed with his back, with a billow over his lap and me laying on
