The Diary

Chapter 1

"Brandon," I hold his hand in mine as he lay on the hospital bed.

He seems so weak. It's hard for me to look at him in his eyes. Brandon was the captain of our high school football team. His enthusiasm for the sport was evident in his eyes. He is ready to push himself every time during practice.

The gleam in his eyes as he punches his victorious waves in the air was a sight to see. I was there, in his every game, cheering him up. The smile plastered on his face as he scored the goal still hangs there in my mind.

Gone the bulging muscle on his arm and torso, leaving only bones. His eyes that one sparkles every time he smiles replaced with sadness. He is the love of my life and will always be. His view on life was different from mine. He always tells me that we need to enjoy every moment of life as if it is the last day of our life.

"Life throws you lemons, pick it up, throw in the juice blender, swoosh, lemonade," that was his advice to me if I come to him whining about my problem. Live for me, must be taken seriously, set up with a career. There must be a purpose in our life, which is what I always tell him.

His reply amazes me, "We work hard to earn money, to get this and that but do we take that to the grave?"

"We take people's love with us, people blessing and prayers with us, nothing more" than what he said whenever we argue.

True to his jovial spirit, he lives his life with fun and free spirit as I toiled in the university, to get my hold on a piece of paper. Whenever we meet, however, we didn't let our different views get in between our love.

He smiles at me weakly, groaning in pain as he tries to move closer to me. My hand stopped him. "It's okay handsome, I'm here."

"Regina, your word tickles me," he speaks slowly.

His finger showed me the table on my back. My eyes darted to the place where he pointed. Standing up, I showed him one item on the table. He shakes his head. Finally, when I show him an old brown leather-bound notebook; he nodded.

My fingers were on the tie, which was on the book when his finger lay on top of my hand. "Opens it when I'm no longer in this world," he instructed.

Tears almost rolled down on my cheek, "You will get better, believe me."

He gave me a crooked smile, "Do you believe that? my love?" he hurled his question at me.

I stand there, dumbfounded. There is no answer to that question. I feel defeated with his question. Sighing, I rested my head next to his body, grabbing his hand into mine.

"I've lived my life the way I want, we're just twenty, I know but-," he coughs.

Hurriedly, I placed a cup of water to his lips, helping him to drink it.

"I don't have regrets, but... If I survive this... Which seems impossible now, I want to get married to you," his eyes look at me adoringly.

"Are you proposing to me? On the bed?" I smiled at him, while my finger caressing his cheek.

He shakes his head as his eyes drooping. I couldn't decipher the longing look in his eyes at that time. Suddenly his grip on my hand loosened as the machine beside him blaring. Doctors with nurses then barged in. His family walks in at the same time. The small room was cramped with people and chaos.

Panic started to settle inside me. My stomach suddenly feels like it falls on the floor and my breath caught in the back of my throat. I can still see his eyes fluttering as they bored into mine. The doctor then blocked my view as he tried to recuperate him. They were hurling at each other with medical terms that were beyond my understanding. Black filled the edge of my vision. The only thing I can hear was my heartbeat.

Slowly they then move away, plucking out the wires away from him. I know right there that the love of my life may be elsewhere free of pain. The doctor was consoling Brandon's mum, who was wailing out his name. Clutching his book to my chest, I walk towards his lifeless body, kissing his still warm forehead, bidding him adieu.

Today, two weeks have passed since Brandon laid to rest. Many people attended his funeral. In his short life, he has touched other people's lives, helping them. His words replayed in my mind, "We take people's love with us, people blessing and prayers with us, nothing more".

Sitting on the bench at the park, which was our favorite bench, I opened his notebook. The first page makes my eyes blurry with my tears.

Regina, my love,

You're the fire in my heart that melts away all my worries.

Your smile is like the sunshine after a rainy day,

Your eyes, it likes two orbs of fire, full of life.

The only thing is, you are so serious, losing the joy of life in it.

Dear cutie Pie,

Please remember me in your prayers

Regina, I have started writing this book since I know that I'm dying. I'm just a guest in this world for few days.

Darling, I'm the proof that life is too short for you to stay serious all the time. Live your life at the moment. Take time to enjoy it. Take time to help others then you will do a great job in your life.

Since the day I got the news, I've listed down the things I want to do before...you know. you reading this means two things, one, I'm no longer there, beside you. Second, there are unfulfilled wish that I want you to fulfill it.

Do it for both of us, please. Live your life a little as I did.

There is a warning though, don't move to the next page unless you have fulfilled the one on the previous page. Take it slowly my dear. Once the wish has already been fulfilled, you have to take a picture. I'm looking at you from up here, remember that!

Then, I flipped the page, one by one the wishes that he already fulfilled like playing in the mud with kids. Helping 10 couples to get married. I laughed as the one that he helps, was the old couple. Dancing in rain was his fourth wish, which he has a photo of both of us, dancing under the rain. It was taken about ten months ago, meaning that he already knew about cancer that finally took him away from me.

I flipped the page until I stop on a page that doesn't have any picture attached to it. Written on it is, Attending someone's funeral to realize that, death will be around the corner, cherish your life as you are still breathing.

Tears rolled down my cheek, as that wish has been fulfilled by me, as I have attended his funeral two weeks ago