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Chapter 31:
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2024-10-29 19:42:56TW: Physical Abuse
Libo-libong boltahe ng kuryente ang umaatake sa aking puso. Pakiramdam ko ay biglang sumikip ang buong lugar dahil nauubusan ako ng hangin upang makapagsalita. The building up tension inside my chest cause the sudden exhaustion. Sa sandaling napakinggan ko ang kaniyang boses, tila isang tawag na iyon ng paghimlay at pahinga.
“R-Rafael…” I mumbled in yearning.
His faint chuckle on the other line made me close my eyes so I could grasp the sensation it brought me more. I am having a hard time believing that I am really talking to him right now. Nananaginip ba ako? Sana’y hindi na ako magising pa.
“Baby, hi&hellip
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When The Sun Sets Chapter 33:
We always strive for something that we value to have. Be it in terms of material things, a person, or sometimes just for the sake of tranquillity. Oftentimes we are hindered by the obstacles that shall bring hardships and challenges to us. Oftentimes, it’s a trial and error. Some succeeded but some run out of options. The choices weren’t on the safety line of where we desired to be so we try to hold on to something that was offered... leaving us with no alternative.If you were me, would you do the same?My heart bleeds for the disappointment that I am feeling inside my chest. I clasped the telephone on my hand, feeling the pressure of my expectations crashing down the boluevard of my broken desire. Dalawang oras na akong nakatayo sa may tapat ng bintana ko, naghihintay na dumating ang inaasahang tulong.
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“Hindi ganyan, anak. Tingnan mo kung paano ko gagawin, ha?”Masigla akong tumango kay Mama. She smiled and pulled another piece of paper from my bag to guide me further on doing the paper boat. It is currently raining outside and I asked her if I can play with the small plash near our house. Hindi naman ako mababasa dahil nakaabot siya sa bubong namin.“Ganito… itiklop mo muna ito.”“Ganito po?”“Hindi, yung kabila dapat anak.”I nodded enthusiastically before I corrected my mistake. Namilog ang mga mata ko at umawang ang labi sa mangha noong dalawang tiklop pa lang ay naghugis bangka na ito! Natawa si Mama sa naging reaksyon ko at napailing na lang bago muli kami nagpatuloy.“Kapag lumabas na po si Seira sa tummy mo, ma, tuturuan ko rin siya nito!”“Talaga?”“Opo!” masaya kong tugon, taas noo pa at nagmamalaki. “Magaling na po ako
When The Sun Sets Chapter 35:
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TW: Self-harm, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) triggering scenes.“Sandrine told me to buy you and Seira a ticket to San Francisco immediately so I booked the earliest flight. I was confused at first but hearing how agitated she was urged me to obey her requests. It was only then when I realized what she meant when you told me that… when you told me what happened.”Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa dalawa kong kamay na siyang may sariling dwelo.“Ate never told us about your situation here. She always assured me that you’re fine. That’s why I was so shocked when she called yesterday. I was… astounded, Siorse.” Auntie Luzette shook
When The Sun Sets Chapter 37:
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When The Sun Sets Chapter 38:
TW: Self-harm.Adjusting to a new life is hard, I’ve figured that out ever since I agreed for Auntie to take responsibility to us as our guardian.I adjusted the uniform after I wore it. It was a simple white button-down polo and black pleated skirt, matching with a red necktie and high-heeled black shoes. Two days after we arrived here in San Francisco, Aunt Luzette enrolled us in a private school to continue our studies. I don’t know how she managed to move me to college even though I know that I failed to attend the two years academic stand of being a senior high. Not until she told me that they don’t have that kind of program here. So, I have to go on as a first-year college student again in the medical field.Tatlong araw pa lang kaming napasok sa marangyang eskwelahan ay ginusto ko na agad sumuko. Kung hindi lamang sa panghihinayang sa ibinayad ni Aunt Luzette sa tui
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“It would be better if you’ll let her stay here for a while so we can monitor her as well. What she’s going through, Ms. Rolloque, isn’t the type to be neglected further.”I presented to be asleep the whole time that Aunt Luzette was talking to the Doctor who checked up on me. I didn’t have to hear her diagnosis because I have already confirmed it myself ever since I spot on the symptoms of it. From my mind’s less capability of keeping me sane to the bruises that I’ve inflicted on myself.After a few moments, the Doctor finally went out and left us inside the hospital room where I am at. I heard Aunt Rolloque sighing in defeat, too heavy that I feel like I was already starting to become a burden to her. But what can I do? Eto ako ngayon. Kahit ang sarili ko ay hindi ko na makontrol.“I know you’re awake,” aniya makalipas ang ilang sandali. Hindi pa rin ako mumulat at nagpatuloy sa pagpapanggap. Sh
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When The Sun Sets Chapter 47:
Hindi ko na nagawang magpaalam nang maayos kay Renz pagkatapos niya akong ihatid sa building ng condo ko. I only got to smile a bit and nodded at him when he bid his good bye. At least, I waited for his car to go before I turned my back and went inside.Tulala ako buong oras na hinihintay kong tumigil sa tamang palapag ang elevator na sinasakyan. At nang makarating nga sa condo ko, dumiretso na ako sa banyo at naglinis.Pumikit ako habang dinadama ang tubig na bumabagsak sa katawan ko mula sa shower. It's draining how I can still see his image right before I entered Renz's car.Why did he even take a step forward? As if he was going to approach me.Rafael... Kailan mo ba balak bitawan ang puso ko?At kailan ko ba babawiin?Huminga ako nang malalim. I should really go back to sleep and take a rest. Mawawala na rin naman 'tong pakiramdam na ito kinabukasan. Ang mahalaga ay hindi ako magtatagal at aalis na rin agad bukas.I was drying my hair with a towel when I remembered that I left my
When The Sun Sets Chapter 46:
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Long before I realized that I lost my way from the perception of my sanity, I gripped my hand as I try to go back to the right path.The rapid of my heart wasn't helping and an act of a claw clutching it in agony tortured me more.Kailan ko nga ba huling naramdaman 'to?Hindi ko akalain na makikita ko siya rito. Hindi ako sinabihan nila Rein at Mavros. Hindi ako handa!Huminga ako nang malalim. Trying to convince myself that there are no more reasons for me to be affected by the fact that he's here, I smiled a little and had my eyes straight to the altar.Dapat ay matagal na akong okay sa katotohanang ito. Dapat... matagal na rin akong nakalimot. Ngunit talagang imposible."Ayos ka lang?" mahinang bulong sa akin ni Mavros na siyang nasa tabi ko ngayon.Ngumiti ako at tumango. Ngunit mas lalong lumalim ang kunot sa kaniyang noo
When The Sun Sets Chapter 43:
“On behalf of LAX Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip, and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice day!”"Thank you." I smiled at the flight attendant who attended me when I asked for help with my baggage. Ngumiti siya sa akin at tumungo bago nagpaalam.Dire-diretso ang lakad ko hanggang sa marating ko ang station two at napagdesisyonang doon na muna tumigil para tawagan si Renz na siyang susundo raw sa akin. Ani Rein, hindi na raw pala sila makakapunta rito dahil baka mahuli sa kasal. Ayos lang naman sa akin dahil naiintindihan ko, mas makakabuti pa nga."Saan ka?" tanong ko kay Renz na siyang kausap ko na sa telepono."You don't see me?" he said. "Maghanap ka ng lalaking nagwawagayway ng kartolina. Kita na kita."Napangiti ako at agad na inilibot ang paningin sa paligid. Bahagya pa akong natawa noong makita si Renz na todo
When The Sun Sets Chapter 42:
The next day, my phone was bombed with notifications from Rein and Mavros. Some of my other friends sent me friend requests and accepted mine. Kahit si Kenzo ay nakita ko sa listahan. Bahagya akong natawa dahil doon bago tinanggap ang kaniya.Rein Liana: Ellei Rolloque Velasco. Sebi, ikaw ba talaga 'to? Ikaw ba 'to?Rein Liana: Sumagot ka naman, oh. Parang awa mo na, Sebi. Miss na miss na kita.Agad kong sinalo ang mga luhang tumulo kahit nangingiti dahil sa pagbabasa ng mga mensaheng pinadala nila.Maverick Rosu: Sebi... Ikaw ba 'to?Maverick Rosu: We miss you so much. We're here, okay? Nandito lang kami. Kahit nasaang lupalop ka man ng mundo ngayon, handa kaming pumunta kung nasaan ka man para damayan ka. Mahal na mahal ka namin, okay?Mavros: Thank you for reaching out again. Talk to us when you're ready. Nandito lang kami.Maybe at some point, I regretted leaving them behind and had them searching for t
When The Sun Sets Chapter 41:
The crowd applauded as I bow my head and waved my hands to bid my farewell after finishing my speech. Hindi rin naman kasi ako pwedeng magtagal sa platform dahil may mga susunod pa sa akin at may sarili-sarili kaming time limit."Congratulations!" maligayang bati sa akin ni Kenzo na siyang may bitbit pang bouquet ng mga bulaklak noong nasa backstage na ako.Malawak akong napangiti dahil doon at nagagalak na tinanggap ang bulaklak na ibinigay niya. He smirked and tugged my arm to finally hug me."You did fucking great! I'm so proud of my girl!"I chuckled and slapped his arm in a mocking way. Napakinggan ko pa siyang ngumisi bago humiwalay sa yakap at ginulo ang buhok ko."Do you want to eat somewhere, Lei? My treat."I winced and nudged him. "No lies?""I swear on my sister's grave."Ngumuso ako para pigilan ang ngiti at saka tumango bilang pagpayag. Dahil doon ay marahan siyang natawa bago hinaw
When The Sun Sets Chapter 40:
By recalling everything that happened, I realized how much of a regret burden me still up until the recent time.Seira… it feels like I am living with a different person now ever since we were discharged from the hospital.Samantalang sa mga araw na bumibisita ako sa psychiatrist, natutunan kong luwagan ang kapit sa mga ala-alang sumisira sa akin.“What about painting?” Dra. Sanchez suggested. “You told me that you’ve tried before and it helped. What about… we focus on this activity first?”As I go along with the flow of life, I have found the hidden existence behind the obstacles that forced me out of my zone.I stared at the blank canvas in front of me. My mind, in a whirlwind of spectacles, as I try to figure out what to do first. At that very moment, I’ve conceded that I’ve reserved myself to the gloam of my torment that I’ve wasted a year of my life trying to figure out how to heal
When The Sun Sets Chapter 39:
“It would be better if you’ll let her stay here for a while so we can monitor her as well. What she’s going through, Ms. Rolloque, isn’t the type to be neglected further.”I presented to be asleep the whole time that Aunt Luzette was talking to the Doctor who checked up on me. I didn’t have to hear her diagnosis because I have already confirmed it myself ever since I spot on the symptoms of it. From my mind’s less capability of keeping me sane to the bruises that I’ve inflicted on myself.After a few moments, the Doctor finally went out and left us inside the hospital room where I am at. I heard Aunt Rolloque sighing in defeat, too heavy that I feel like I was already starting to become a burden to her. But what can I do? Eto ako ngayon. Kahit ang sarili ko ay hindi ko na makontrol.“I know you’re awake,” aniya makalipas ang ilang sandali. Hindi pa rin ako mumulat at nagpatuloy sa pagpapanggap. Sh
