TW: Self harm
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 3C8 with service from the Philippines to San Francisco, California. We are currently second in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately five minutes. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Thank you for choosing Philip Airlines. Enjoy your flight.”
TW: Self-harm, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) triggering scenes.“Sandrine told me to buy you and Seira a ticket to San Francisco immediately so I booked the earliest flight. I was confused at first but hearing how agitated she was urged me to obey her requests. It was only then when I realized what she meant when you told me that… when you told me what happened.”Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa dalawa kong kamay na siyang may sariling dwelo.“Ate never told us about your situation here. She always assured me that you’re fine. That’s why I was so shocked when she called yesterday. I was… astounded, Siorse.” Auntie Luzette shook
“Hijo, my niece requested for it so please respect her decision. I… We don’t want to cause further damages to her, right? So please, refrain yourself from telling this to your other friends.”“Kahit bisita lang po, Ma’am? Nabalitaan na po kasi nila yung nangyaring pagsabog sa bahay at hindi rin isinisiwalat ng mga pulis ang lokasyon kung saang hospital dinala ang mga nabiktima.”“It is necessary to keep it confidential, Hijo. My nieces suffered enough already. If they’ll be subjected to yet again another crowd, they’ll lose their minds. And Siorse, she can’t even face her own sister. What more when she sees your other friends?”“P-Pero, tuloy na po ba talaga ang alis niyo ngayon mismo? Hindi po ba magiging m-mahirap para kay Sebi po na bumyahe agad?”“It’s harder for her to stay here. I don’t even k
TW: Self-harm.Adjusting to a new life is hard, I’ve figured that out ever since I agreed for Auntie to take responsibility to us as our guardian.I adjusted the uniform after I wore it. It was a simple white button-down polo and black pleated skirt, matching with a red necktie and high-heeled black shoes. Two days after we arrived here in San Francisco, Aunt Luzette enrolled us in a private school to continue our studies. I don’t know how she managed to move me to college even though I know that I failed to attend the two years academic stand of being a senior high. Not until she told me that they don’t have that kind of program here. So, I have to go on as a first-year college student again in the medical field.Tatlong araw pa lang kaming napasok sa marangyang eskwelahan ay ginusto ko na agad sumuko. Kung hindi lamang sa panghihinayang sa ibinayad ni Aunt Luzette sa tui
“It would be better if you’ll let her stay here for a while so we can monitor her as well. What she’s going through, Ms. Rolloque, isn’t the type to be neglected further.”I presented to be asleep the whole time that Aunt Luzette was talking to the Doctor who checked up on me. I didn’t have to hear her diagnosis because I have already confirmed it myself ever since I spot on the symptoms of it. From my mind’s less capability of keeping me sane to the bruises that I’ve inflicted on myself.After a few moments, the Doctor finally went out and left us inside the hospital room where I am at. I heard Aunt Rolloque sighing in defeat, too heavy that I feel like I was already starting to become a burden to her. But what can I do? Eto ako ngayon. Kahit ang sarili ko ay hindi ko na makontrol.“I know you’re awake,” aniya makalipas ang ilang sandali. Hindi pa rin ako mumulat at nagpatuloy sa pagpapanggap. Sh
By recalling everything that happened, I realized how much of a regret burden me still up until the recent time.Seira… it feels like I am living with a different person now ever since we were discharged from the hospital.Samantalang sa mga araw na bumibisita ako sa psychiatrist, natutunan kong luwagan ang kapit sa mga ala-alang sumisira sa akin.“What about painting?” Dra. Sanchez suggested. “You told me that you’ve tried before and it helped. What about… we focus on this activity first?”As I go along with the flow of life, I have found the hidden existence behind the obstacles that forced me out of my zone.I stared at the blank canvas in front of me. My mind, in a whirlwind of spectacles, as I try to figure out what to do first. At that very moment, I’ve conceded that I’ve reserved myself to the gloam of my torment that I’ve wasted a year of my life trying to figure out how to heal
The crowd applauded as I bow my head and waved my hands to bid my farewell after finishing my speech. Hindi rin naman kasi ako pwedeng magtagal sa platform dahil may mga susunod pa sa akin at may sarili-sarili kaming time limit."Congratulations!" maligayang bati sa akin ni Kenzo na siyang may bitbit pang bouquet ng mga bulaklak noong nasa backstage na ako.Malawak akong napangiti dahil doon at nagagalak na tinanggap ang bulaklak na ibinigay niya. He smirked and tugged my arm to finally hug me."You did fucking great! I'm so proud of my girl!"I chuckled and slapped his arm in a mocking way. Napakinggan ko pa siyang ngumisi bago humiwalay sa yakap at ginulo ang buhok ko."Do you want to eat somewhere, Lei? My treat."I winced and nudged him. "No lies?""I swear on my sister's grave."Ngumuso ako para pigilan ang ngiti at saka tumango bilang pagpayag. Dahil doon ay marahan siyang natawa bago hinaw
The next day, my phone was bombed with notifications from Rein and Mavros. Some of my other friends sent me friend requests and accepted mine. Kahit si Kenzo ay nakita ko sa listahan. Bahagya akong natawa dahil doon bago tinanggap ang kaniya.Rein Liana: Ellei Rolloque Velasco. Sebi, ikaw ba talaga 'to? Ikaw ba 'to?Rein Liana: Sumagot ka naman, oh. Parang awa mo na, Sebi. Miss na miss na kita.Agad kong sinalo ang mga luhang tumulo kahit nangingiti dahil sa pagbabasa ng mga mensaheng pinadala nila.Maverick Rosu: Sebi... Ikaw ba 'to?Maverick Rosu: We miss you so much. We're here, okay? Nandito lang kami. Kahit nasaang lupalop ka man ng mundo ngayon, handa kaming pumunta kung nasaan ka man para damayan ka. Mahal na mahal ka namin, okay?Mavros: Thank you for reaching out again. Talk to us when you're ready. Nandito lang kami.Maybe at some point, I regretted leaving them behind and had them searching for t
“On behalf of LAX Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip, and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice day!”"Thank you." I smiled at the flight attendant who attended me when I asked for help with my baggage. Ngumiti siya sa akin at tumungo bago nagpaalam.Dire-diretso ang lakad ko hanggang sa marating ko ang station two at napagdesisyonang doon na muna tumigil para tawagan si Renz na siyang susundo raw sa akin. Ani Rein, hindi na raw pala sila makakapunta rito dahil baka mahuli sa kasal. Ayos lang naman sa akin dahil naiintindihan ko, mas makakabuti pa nga."Saan ka?" tanong ko kay Renz na siyang kausap ko na sa telepono."You don't see me?" he said. "Maghanap ka ng lalaking nagwawagayway ng kartolina. Kita na kita."Napangiti ako at agad na inilibot ang paningin sa paligid. Bahagya pa akong natawa noong makita si Renz na todo