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CHAPTER 45- FEELINGS WILL COME AND GO
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I glanced slightly as I noticed Joseph walking out of the lecture room. Can my day get any better? I guess Abigael just thwarted my plan of talking to him. But can I talk to him? I chased him away before.
"I guess we are doing this Abigael. Let us start, the earlier, the better", I stated, as we both settled down together.Related chapters
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 46- ATTEMPTED RAPE
Just seeing the message made me weak somehow. Maybe because I care about him due to the attraction I had to him. I looked at my phone which showed Josephine's contact.I glanced slightly but did not see Josephine. She was not around either."Hello, students, sorry I am late", the voice of Mr. Lekan rang through my ear as I groaned inwardly. I forgot we were having another lecture.The whole lecture was not a good one as I kept slacking in attention, writing and I never raised my hands to answer any question. I kept peeking at my wristwatch to check the time." Michael, you seem off today. Quite unlikely of you", the voice of Mr. Lejan jolted me out of my state, as I stood up nervously, the murmurings of my coursemates echoing 'that is true'."I'm sorry about that sir. I will try to listen attentively now", I promised as I bow my head slightly, " Better do. Your contribution is important in my class", he buttressed, as I nodded sitting
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 47-A SHOCKING REVELATION
"St..op", I can't count the number of times I said that word as he has unbuttoned my shirt and he is trying to go further. I don't know why I feel so weak, as my brain is almost shutting down, my stomach feels like it is being tightened.Oh God, please help me, I said inwardlyI felt him stop, as he moved away from me. I opened my eyes as his face was darted in another direction. I quickly buttoned up my shirt, as I hurriedly went out of his room. I never minded how heavy it was raining, he almost raped me.Hugging my body, I kept running as tears kept running down my face. The street was becoming desolate as cars were few. My body started shivering as I continued walking and running at the same time.My body was wet as I kept going, not looking behind. My eyes felt blurry as I was almost reaching my hostel. Breathing in and out relentlessly, I kept going. I can do this, I kept telling myself.The cold breeze was not helping me as my bo
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 48- HEARTBREAKING CONFESSION
I peeked at him, as I blinked my eyes, hoping it was a trance, but it was not."A confession?", I asked " Yes, but you need to rest. I'm leaving now since I have a lecture. I will inform your assistant that you are sick", he said, shocking me again.I thought he wanted to confess something. He is…. I couldn't find the right word to describe him. He placed me well on the bed, as he covered me with a blanket.He later went out, closing the door, bringing nothing but making my heart go crazy. I would have been able to stop Joseph from getting attracted to me but, I guess it was impossible.This feeling of mine feels like a plague, tormenting me everywhere. It would have been best if I am attracted to the same sexes, and not vice versa. Joseph almost raped me, that alone sends every part of my brain spinning. My eyes started closing, as I gave in to sleep.******I felt strengthened as I could not help but prepare a homemade snack
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 49-I NEED TO HELP HIM
As I leaned against the door, I could feel my head almost spinning. I felt my body ache as my mind went back to what Joseph revealed. He wanted to have me on video, how ridiculous. He saw me as a tool he can use and dump.Cleaning the tears off my face, I stood up as I slept on the bed. He is not worth it. He is the most disgusting fellow I have ever seen. I curse the day I got attracted to him. I just hope he gets off my life.****The whole week was more like singing a lullaby to me, boring and stressful. Joseph kept begging me but I never yielded. He looks lean, his eyes more like he has cried his sockets out. I don't think he deserves to be listened to. I still find it difficult to think straight knowing he wanted to have sex with me and also have me on video, just to win a bet.These days, I have been lonely as I avoided my friends too as I needed some space. Walking alone has been my thing now and spending most of my time in the campus
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 50- ALMOST GIVING IN(1)
I can't help but have a cold foot seeing Joseph. His hair was wet and looked messy, with his eyebrows darted in different directions. The light illuminating from my room makes his face clearer as his eyes were red. His lips paused in a thin line, as he tried to talk as I perceived the smell of alcohol which made me cough, the reeking smell filling my nostril."I have fallen dee..ply for you. Why are you avoiding me", he stuttered as he staggered forward as I held his shoulders." It feels so terrible with this feeling. I can't stop it and I feel almost less when you are on my mind. Please forgive me. Help me out", he stated as he leaned closer to me.My heartbeat as the thought of him kissing me came to my mind, making me shudder inwardly. I can't let this happen. I can't kiss the same sex neither can I give my first kiss to him. I have to stop this", I told myself only for him to fall on my shoulder, as his head rested on my shoulder."Joseph", I
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 51- ALMOST GIVING IN(2)
Am I still angry at him? Well, I can't say for sure. I felt angry at him because he tried to force himself on me. Getting to know about the bet left my head spinning because he wanted to have me on video.But Chris's words touched me so I have forgiven him."I'm not angry at you", I said, sparing him a glance.He moved closer as he stood in front of me." I am sorry for everything. For threatening you with the video. I…", "Stop it. I understand. You are attracted to me and you were finding it difficult to control the new feeling. In the process, you thought it would be best if we both engage in sexual conduct to control the sexual urges", I explained everything that I feel was the reason behind his actions.His face dropped, as he sat on one of the stools with a sour expression." I never expected I would develop anything for you. And If possible I said some things while drunk yesterday, They are all true", he said, his
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 52- THE RIGHT DECISION
"I...", I could not make out the words. I'm confused, and frustration is beginning to set in my mind.Bowing my head slightly, I closed my eyes as I felt imaginations coming into my head. The next day after discovering my feelings for the same sex, I prayed for self-control. I also promised not to give in to my feelings.It would be for the best, not only for me but for Joseph. If we engage in sexual pleasures, that cannot reduce the liking we have for each other. It would only ignite the lust as well as the temporary happiness we would enjoy in the meantime. Most importantly, we will both be committing a grievous sin.Even if I give in, I know myself pretty well. A guilty conscience will eat me up, especially when I have promised the Almighty of doing the right thing.'God gave me feelings, not for me to give in to it but to learn how to control them'. I have two choices.One is to give in to this weir
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER53-BRINGING BACK MEMORIES
It has been a month since the drama with Joseph. Getting over the attraction I had for him was not as easy as I thought. Knowing fully well I did the right thing by not giving in to my feelings kept me aspiring to put an end to the liking I had for him.I know that I made the right decision. If I should accept Joseph's point of view, things would have been upside down. Not only will we be committing such a shameful act in secret, but we will also be sinning against the Almighty.Embracing your sexuality or controlling your sexual desires are those two options I had but I had to go for the latter because to me it is the best. It can be challenging sometimes having feelings that society shun, but with discipline, determination, and trust in God, everything will be a passing phase as long as you pass the bloom of youth.Although you may not have complete control over your desires, you do have control over your actions. You can choose not to act on wrong d
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WEIRD FEELING Point of view
AUTHOR POINT OF VIEWI want to use this opportunity to thank all of my readers. It has been a long journey writing this book(my first book), all thanks to your reads and ever-supportive reviews.This book has shown different stages on how attraction for the same-sex might set in, as well as how society condemns it. Michael was a great male lead as he decided to control his feelings rather than give in to them.When I wanted to write this book, a question came to my mind. "Why are they gay people as well as lesbians?"I did my research realizing that feelings toward the same sex might start to set in due to involuntary sexual arousal(which is normal).So I thought of writing a book about how a character would be attracted to the same sex but control those feelings. I made Michael go through different stages, to self-discovery and assuring himself he is not gay, not until he involves himself in
WEIRD FEELING EPILOGUE
EPILOGUEI've gone too far to give up nowJust put a bandage on those scarsThere's no need to be held by failureYou can beat all of the oddsAnd if you feel under pressureScared beyond measureLost a close treasureYou've got to rememberYou're not what they call youCan't limit yourself to whatPeople tell youYou're the final word
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 66- A SAD ONE
Every day seems like a passing phase. Every moment is like a good time. Ever since my last talk with Chris and Phil, I am yet to make a decision. It seems suffocating thinking of what to go for, especially with a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach.One of my thoughts ended up being against what my body is craving for. I always find myself asking questions. If I eventually am with Phil, will I be happy? What if I remain single and this weird feeling keeps persisting? How will I even figure out the right thing to go for?I looked at the streets with the simmering of light as Phil draped his hand on my shoulder. Anytime I try to tell him to stop trying to be always with me, he becomes sad. In as much as I want him to be back with Senior Joy, he was able to get what I was trying to do.I don't know what is happening to me. I no longer feel those butterflies in my Tommy, anxiety, and nervousness never creep
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 65- DECISION CREPTING IN
It would have been a worse scenario for me if I continued to feel the pleasure, but it stopped. My body became numb, as I closed my eyes, the imaginations of Joseph's attempt to rape me crept into my mind.I felt a surge of power as I pushed Phil away."I can't do this. I can't. It is an immoral act", my voice started shaking as tears glimmered in my eyes.I could feel the surprised look on Phil as his gaze was on me. He groaned, then hissed before moving closer to me." Are you okay?", he asked with concern as I nodded."Are you sure you don't want to do this? We both like each other, don't we?", he tried to reassure but I could not help but feel a bitter taste on my tongue." I don't want to get carried away by temporary pleasure. I know you are probably angry but I can't seem to keep off my mind from how we will both feel after having sex. I can't do this. God condemns such act", I said, my mind r
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 64- CAN I?
It has been over three weeks with Phil. It has not been an easy one, especially with asking for forgiveness from those he had greatly hurt or done something bad to. So happy that the five people we went to forgave him, tho it took time.It was not easy. Some took days before they forgave Phil. That of Senior Joy and Kevin took a day but the others were like hard nuts to crack. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but letting go of the hurt. That is obvious from those set of people Phil offended.*****I could not help but beam with a smile as I covered the lid of the cooler container containing the melon soup. I packed it in a small bag, alongside some wraps of pounded yam.Getting outside the kitchen only to meet Chris glancing at me."Ahem, why the stare?", I asked, trying to act calmly without giving away my real mood." Why do I feel you are guilty of something?", Chris asked, munc
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 63- A LITTLE BIT OF JEALOUSY
It was just as if I was reading the book of Revelation. Philip got entangled with bad friends, who brought him nothing but trouble. He joined the cultist against his will but under the influence of alcohol and drugs.He was forced to do his first assignment or the one closest to his heart will suffer the consequences. He yielded, afraid of facing to see his loved ones dead.Phil turned his head, his eyes red, full of regrets and pain. I felt my heart heavy, as I tried to remain strong at least for him. He needs to let it all out. I also need to know his final decision(s)."I wept that very day, my heart feeling like sinking. I betrayed the trust and love between Joy and me to save her and my foster parents. Trust me when I say that the cult leader meant it as I have seen proof of how he causes the death of other people without even thinking. Most importantly, no traces tend to link to any of his apprentices in this evil
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 62- REVELATION 2
I felt a surge of emotions as I listened to Philip's story. My body trembled at what he has gone through. No doubt the saying that 'THE RICH ALSO CRY' is not a fallacy.Waking up with people you feel were your parents, then they neglected you, becoming business tycoons. You had a strange feeling they are not your parents. Confirming it, it turns out to be true.Facing your so-called parents only to realize they held the truth away from you for over 20 years of your life. The truth was revealed as your true mother abandoned you in front of an orphanage, leaving you to face a cruel world all by yourself.I don't know who to blame right now, whether it was his real mother who left him for over 20 years without turning back to look for him or his foster parents who placed their work lifestyle over their adopted son."You know, that time, after knowing my real mother was back, I wished she could die. I bu
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 61- REVELATION 1
I don't know how I should feel right now. I saw his two hands form into fists as he bowed his head a little. With the little courage within me, I continued staring at his figure even when fear and nervousness enveloped my mind.Few seconds passed as my heart kept pacing. His lips twitched into a smile as he picked his spoon to continue eating his ice cream."Who told you I am a cultist?", he questioned a smile still on his lips, his eyes peeking at me making me feel stupid for asking such a question." I'm sorry I asked such a question. I…", I find words stuck in my throat.He folds his arms, moving his head closer to my ear as he whispers."I am a cultist. The leader of AZA CULT GROUP, one of the notorious cult gangs in this University"I felt as if a knife pierce through my skin as he moved back, his face now showing a sad feature. I tried to move my lips but they felt glued. He is joking right?", I can feel myself asking my i
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 60- THE BIG QUESTION
Fear could probably be the least of my expressions after knowing the true identity of Phil last night. I lost my appetite even when Chris nudged me to eat. He was the one that later ended up eating it all. According to him, it seems he likes me and thought I might help Phil one way or the other.I am still finding it difficult to digest it. Such a young man who happens to be charming, caring, and respectful. Even when I listed the qualities I liked about him, Chris still told me they do not write it on their foreheads whether they are cultists or not.****Standing in front of the mirror, I could not help but compliment my look. Putting on a grey round neck and black trousers with a black sandal. Chris suggested I put on clothes with his favorite colors."Be calm, I will be at the restaurant. I work there now", Chris said." What? When have you started working there?", I asked"I was transferred yesterday. I could not tell you since yo
