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Seth and I walked hand in hand through the park the next evening when the summer air was warm and fragrant with jasmine in full bloom. Overhead was a purpling, orange canvas, the sun sitting low on the horizon. It was one of those moments so rarely found that it looked beyond time, emotionless to the complications of our past. As we walked, all the sounds of laughter and conversation drifted around us, an orchestra of life that, at this moment, bound me to something bigger and infinitely beautiful.Seth squeezed my hand, tugging me a bit closer, and I looked up at him. His features seemed softened by the golden light of dusk; he was smiling, that boyish grin that had first seized upon my heart. "You know," he said, his voice low and intimate, "I don't think I've ever been this happy."I leaned into him, putting my head on his shoulder."Me neither," I admitted. "It feels like a dream sometimes, like I'm going to wake up and it'll all be gone."He turned to me, stopping his walk, his ey
The morning of Anne's baby shower dawned bright and clear, a perfect summer day. I pulled into my parent's driveway early, and the sight of the old Victorian home brought a rush of nostalgia. There was so much that was beautiful about this house, with its wide wraparound porch and its rose bushes tended by Mother with such loving care.Today, it was decked with pink and blue streamers and balloons, with a big banner that read, "Welcome Baby!"I walked in to the smell of freshly baked pastries and coffee filling the air, mixed with floral perfumes from the bouquets everywhere.My parents were busy, doing last-minute touches. Mom turned to me with a big hug, her eyes shining. "Christie, you're here! I'm so glad. Anne's been asking for you."I smiled, wincing at the pang of guilt that jabbed at me for not being around enough lately. "Where is she?""She's in the living room, resting a bit before everybody comes," Mom said. "Why don't you go see her?I weaved my way through the house; it s
The night was quiet, the house bathed in a comforting darkness that had usually kept me calm. It had been a long day that I spent celebrating Anne's baby shower, finally left to my own devices in my childhood bedroom, and surrounded by familiarity. I had just changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed when I heard a soft knock on the door. My heart sank, for I already suspected who it was. Before I could answer, the door creaked open to let Noah slip inside, his presence like a shadow against the dim light from the hallway."Noah," I whispered, my voice tight with frustration. "What are you doing here?"He closed the door behind him softly, his eyes locking with mine; the intensity in them quickened my pulse. "I needed to talk to you," he said, his voice low and urgent.I wrapped my arms tightly around me, trying to hold on to some semblance of control. "We have nothing to talk about. You need to leave."He took a step closer; the sharp lines of determination mixed with a glint of de
I sat on my couch that unnaturally quiet night, holding a mug of herbal tea that was going cold. I had been off all day, feeling some sort of gnawing anxiety inside me that I couldn't shake. Seth was supposed to come over after work, and all day I had looked forward to seeing him and hoped his presence might soothe my restless mind. Earlier, I had tried to call him, needing his voice, needing to tell him how much I needed him, but all my calls went directly to voicemail. I told myself maybe he was driving and would soon be here. The feeling was uneasy, sitting in the pit of my stomach.As the hours trudged on and the clock crept ever closer to midnight, concern began to give way to fear. I began flipping through the channels of the TV, looking for a distraction, but nothing seemed to interest me. My mind kept reverting back to Seth. I had dialed his phone number so many times, hoping against hope that I perhaps had missed his call or he had sent a text, but nothing was there. There was
Days since Seth's accident had drifted by in a blur of hospital visiting hours, sleepless nights, and helplessness that just wouldn't leave. I held vigil hour by hour at his bedside, holding his hand, and praying for his recovery. His condition was stable, they said, but he wasn't really improving, and not knowing was tearing my heart apart. Every time I left the hospital, my apartment seemed unbearably empty and lifeless, so very opposite of the big, full-of-love home Seth and I had been building together.It was on one of those lonely nights after I had returned home from another long day at the hospital, that I heard somebody knock on my door. My heart jumped with that fleetingly hopeful thought that maybe, just maybe, it was Seth, miraculously recovered and back on his feet. Instead, it was Noah, his face a mix of concern and something else indefinable."Noah," I said, surprise and confusion plain in my voice. "What brings you here?"He didn't wait for an invitation but stepped ins
The call from my parents had come early in the morning, a brusque and abrupt summons that brooked no argument."Come home tonight," my father said. "There's something important we need to discuss."There was a tone in his voice that sent a shiver down my spine, but I didn't have the energy to argue. I needed to keep my focus on Seth's recovery, not whatever new drama my parents had dreamed up.By evening, I stood at the front door of my childhood home, with a weight of anxieties from that day weighing on my skin. The house looked the same as it had, yet there was something cold in it. I pushed open the door, and the smell of my mother's cooking hit me—familiar, yet filling me with dread."Christie, you're here," my mother called from the kitchen. Her voice was tight, flat-not welcoming."Yeah, I'm here," I returned, working on a smile as I entered the dining room. "What's so urgent?"My father was already seated at the head of the table, his expression light. "Sit down, Christie," he s
The day Seth finally came home was one of happiness, relief, and some residual apprehension. I had planned everything to the last detail and wanted everything to be perfect for his return. Fresh flowers were in the living room, perfuming the atmosphere well with their fragrance, which combined well with the aroma of the meal I had cooked all morning. The apartment was warm and inviting, a far cry from the antiseptic and impersonal feel of the hospital where he had spent many weeks.When Seth walked through the door, his strides were slower, more deliberate; but that same smile greeted me—among those that I had fallen in love with. I rushed to him, wrapping my arms gingerly around him since his injuries still needed time to heal. "Welcome home," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion."Good to be home," he said, and he squeezed me close. "I have missed you so much, Christie."Afternoon time merged into a haze of catch-up—so much had been missed. We laughed, reminisced, and enjoyed th
The evening with Seth was perfect. Lying back in bed, wrapped up in each other's arms, with the burdens of the world ebbing off with the warmth of our connection—it was all very nice. His fingers were drawing lazy patterns on my back, and for one moment, I allowed myself to believe that it was really going to be all right.My phone rang just then and broke the silence. The caller was Anne. My heart sank immediately, since Anne never called at this hour unless there was some terrible problem. I answered, and her sobs filled my ears."Christie, he threw me out!" she sobbed. Her voice was frantic. "Noah told me to leave. He found out about Mom and Dad's scheme to hook you up with that old man, and he's blaming me for not stopping it. Please, you have to come. I don't know what to do."I sat up, my heart racing. "Anne, calm down. I'm coming. Just hold on."Feeling the urgency, Seth sat up beside me. "What's wrong?""It's Anne," I replied, already getting dressed. "Noah chucked her out, and
As we walked into that house that night, my brain would still glisten with the words spewed by Seth. All that weight, all that heaviness - Noah and those lies, manipulation, twisted web which life has become. My chest felt like it was stuck in some heavy fog, where nothing could be distinguished clearly, nothing trusted as what was thought to be known. Even Seth, the man who had been there for me, seemed at a distance somehow. The puzzle he'd given me, it seemed, was not pieced back together either; no matter how very hard I tried, those pieces wouldn't mesh.Seth treated me gently when he brought me home, like fragile glass that might break if one breathed too hard on it. And in his eyes, I saw the worry, the sadness, the hope that maybe, just maybe, this was the night that might change things between us. I had seen him trying everything to make me feel special, make me smile, and a part of me wanted to give him what he so desperately needed: a sign that I was coming back to him. Tha
I thought Seth was taking a leave from work for spending the day with me, which rather seemed to be a sweet gesture, but deep inside, upset me. We had been so tensed against each other lately without either of us being able fully to articulate what was nagging; it would always hang there in mid-air like an invisible barrier. While I would have liked to dissuade him from leaving, at the same time, I could not reject him. Seth had tried hard to make things be normal by bending over backward and doing all in his power; the least I could do was try to meet him halfway.We went out to a great little restaurant. It had a warm, cozy atmosphere. The low illuminations were rich in earth tones. After all, there isn't a setting more perfect for anyone who ever wanted to feel at ease. Couples were scattered all over the room, some laughing, some whispering low over glasses of wine, and it was one of those scenes-the kind of atmosphere which usually lulled me into a state of peace, but tonight mad
That's exactly what I thought: when I came back home, I had a feeling that something was different in the space. It wasn't the space that changed; no, everything was in place as it was meant to be: Seth's coat was slumped over the back of the chair by the door, his tea from the morning was still sitting on the kitchen counter, and the soft hum of the refrigerator resonated through the quiet space. Yet something inside me had shifted, and it was unsettling. I kept playing back the conversation with Noah over and over in my head like a broken record that refused to turn off.I tried to shake it, focus on anything else. I glanced up at the photos on the mantle. Images of Seth and me together-smiling, happy, like a couple deep in love. But those pictures belonged to a life that just didn't fit anymore. I looked at one for a long time, willing myself to feel something, to remember the love that Seth swore we'd shared.But all that flashed through my mind was Noah. His words, the way he loo
I don't really recall much of anything anymore. Faces, voices, they all seem to blend together, flickering shadows at the corners of my mind. Every day was like a puzzle missing too many pieces, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never really fit it together.That day, I was wandering. I had gotten out of the house without having said anything to Seth, though I wasn't totally sure why. I knew he was trying to be kind to me. Patient and gentle, he was, trying always to help me remember who he said I used to be. But no matter how hard he tried, I couldn't find anything inside of me that felt real from the stories he told. There wasn't a spark of recognition-no emotion, no feeling of home-when I looked at him. And the worst part? He kept on saying we loved each other. Loved. The word sounded foreign, hollow, almost amusing.How could I ever have loved a person that I couldn't even recognize? He's lying, I thought. Or mistaken. Maybe this was some grand, tragic misunderstanding; mayb
I never know where it started, but somewhere in the pain and in the darkness, I lost myself.It was just pain at first: the pain of losing a baby that lacerated my chest and made it hard to breathe. It was like they took a part of me-a part that would never be returned. Every breath I took was a reminder of the child I would never hold, the life I would never nurture. It felt like the world had grayed, and no matter how hard Seth tried to comfort me, I couldn't find my way back to color.Days passed. Weeks, maybe. I'm not even sure anymore. It's all such a blur, one endless stretch of numbness. Mornings, I woke up and didn't know where I was. The walls that enclosed me felt unfamiliar-the bed beneath me, too cold. I didn't know how I'd gotten there or why I should care. I didn't even feel like the same person anymore. Whoever I had been-the woman who had carried a child, who had fought so hard to survive-was gone. In her place, someone hollow, someone I didn't know.I forgot simple thi
The excitement had been building inside me for weeks. My due date was fast approaching, and every flutter, every small kick in my belly reminded me of the little life I would soon hold in my arms. I could hardly believe it—the journey from fear and uncertainty to hope and joy. Seth and I had been so careful, so deliberate in our new life, making sure that every decision we made was to create the best future for our child. But today, in my rush of excitement, I made a mistake.I wanted to do something special—something just for me and the baby. Seth had been working from home that day, caught up in a call with a new client, and I had this sudden urge to get out of the house. I decided to visit the nearest market, to pick out some clothes for the baby. We had been meaning to go shopping together, but I couldn’t wait any longer. The idea of buying tiny onesies and blankets filled me with a kind of joy I hadn’t felt in so long. I wanted to savor this moment, just me and my soon-to-be-born
After all was said and done, Seth and I knew we needed to relocate. This wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision but rather a need that eventually comes to the surface with the passing of time. Noah's presence, his threats-this twisted obsession he had toward me-had cast this dark shadow over our lives and refused to blow away. We couldn't be like that anymore, constantly over our shoulders, waiting for him to show up and wreak our lives. So we packed all our things and left.Not one person knew where we were off to. Not even my parents. The fewer people who knew, the better. I was tired of running, tired of hiding, but it felt like the only way I was going to be able to regain some sense of control. Seth was so understanding of the decision, though I knew what it would mean: giving up his job, his friends. But he didn't complain; he wanted us safe, started over.Finally, we drove out of town, and a feeling of calm came over me for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. The weigh
I never knew that my life, which had just started to inch its way back into some semblance of normality, was once again going to be torn to pieces. Seth had done everything in his power to bring the smile back onto my face-to rebuild what had been broken. We had put so much hard work into our relationship, trying to balance our careers while devoting ourselves to each other. For the first time in months, I felt finally at peace. We were happy, really happy, and I'd started to dare hope that finally, finally the worst was behind us.But that was before Noah walked back into our lives.It was one of those rainy afternoons when Seth and I decided to release ourselves to home, allowing the tedium of a week's burden to work its way into a delightful afternoon. I recall the scent of coffee in the air and some soft music playing in the background. Seth lay on the couch, immersed in a book, while I worked in the kitchen, making us a light lunch. We were quite content in our little bubble, wit
It felt as if, for the first time in eternity, I was starting to feel like myself. Being back with Seth, in the apartment we shared, brought into my life a peace that I never imagined was possible after everything that happened to me. I could feel myself smiling more, even laughing at little things Seth would say or do to get me to be comfortable with him again. It was as if I had been pulled from the grave, taking in fresh air for the first time after existing in a suffocating nightmare.Day by day, each one marks the stride to healing, like gradually and relentlessly rising from darkness. We would go on long walks in the neighborhood, take meals together at the dining table as we used to, and spend evenings curled up on the couch, watching movies or just talking softly about our future. Seth was never pushy for me to talk of the horrors I faced in the hands of Noah unless I am ready, understanding and patient. He was everything I needed him to be-my anchor, my refuge.But even as lif