Chapter 1

It was almost six months since I’d brought Evan’s body home to bury, yet it hurt like it was only yesterday as I knelt down to place flowers next to his headstone.  I studied my surroundings.  It seemed a lonely and secluded place to bury someone.  Then, it was just that seclusion that attracted Evan to this place whenever he needed to think or just relax.  It was such a different setting from the busy cemetery where Max was laid to rest.  Yet, each location matched the individual’s likes and preferences.  Or, at least, I hoped that they did.

I found myself spending a good deal of time wondering how much I really knew these men that I’d married. For Max, it was the hurtful discovery of a mistress who carried a child that he believed to be his.  It didn’t matter that the child ended up being fathered by someone else.  He’d still kept the situation a secret from me and he’d continued to sleep with her while sleeping with me. Besides that, because he suffered from sex addiction, he favored rendezvousing with women for sex now and then.  For Evan, it was just his wealth that I’d discovered so far.  As with Max, he possessed untold wealth that was passed on to me as his wife and survivor.

How could I love them with such intensity, yet know them so little?

I had no intention of getting entangled in another relationship, but, should it unexpectedly occur, I promised myself that I’d take it slow and not agree to any type of commitment such as marriage until I knew a good deal more about the man than I’d known with both Max and Evan.  Even Peter.  I may not have married him, but I’d given him my heart without finding out some very important facts about him.  Such as the bit of information that Angela was so eager to share with me about the fact that he already had a wife and children tucked away. 

Nothing like a mistress or wife had surfaced with Evan, but it was still early.  He’d anticipated our marriage early enough to include me in his will, but nothing that would indicate that he’d kept information from me other than his outrageous wealth showed up during the reading of it.  I’d yet to go through his belongings and deal with things of that nature.  Only when I did, would I know the truth about him.  Admittedly, if there was something being kept from me like a woman or a bastard child, I wasn’t up to knowing just yet.  I had all I could deal with at the moment. More would have sent me over the edge.  I was sure of it.

I was pulled from my reverie when Megan approached with my infant son, Joseph, cradled in her arms.

“He’s fussing like he might be hungry,” she said as she lovingly gazed at his cherub face.

I remained sitting with my back against Evan’s headstone as I reached out to accept my little bundle of joy. 

“It’s feeding time,” I said as I unfastened my top and exposed a breast. “My breasts were calling for him for quite a while.”

“Yet, here you sit,” she mused with a frown and a shake of her head.

“We need to keep some type of trash receptacle here.  I’ve got no place to toss my soiled nursing pad,” I grumbled as Joseph latched onto my nipple.  The cramping sensation that resulted in my abdomen made me jolt just a bit. “The difference in sensations when he nurses verses when a man suckles is quite surprising.  I actually feel an ache in my uterus when he feeds.  It’s certainly not arousing.”

“It is an odd thing,” Megan said.   “If I’m not mistaken, that ache will stop once your uterus returns to normal after having the baby.  The breast feeding is actually speeding the process.  After six months, I’d think it would be back to normal by now.”

“Sometimes it takes up to a year. The human body is a fascinating thing,” I mused as I looked down at my son’s head. It looked so small as he fed from my engorged, oversized breast.  His hand looked even tinier as his perfect little fingers kneaded my bulbous flesh while he drank his fill.

“Speaking of that.  I think it might be a good idea for you to get back into practicing medicine,” Megan said. “People are asking for you whenever I go out of the house.  They’re not only concerned about you after Max’s death, but they’re looking for medical care.”

“Max was a popular man,” I said.

“And well loved,” she added.  “You became more endeared to the community by marrying him.”

“What about Evan?” I asked with irritation.  I’d yet to mourn for Max.  That would come in time, I was sure, but, for now, I mourned the one person who hadn’t done me wrong.

“They don’t know that you married him and I don’t advise telling them,” she said.

“The reason?” I asked, defensively.

Megan shrugged.  “You weren’t even married for twenty-four hours before he died.  This area is not the most advanced.  Its residents still dwell on the old fashioned and often superstitious.  They might begin to look at  you with fear.  Two husbands dead.  One dying within a month of marrying you and the other within hours. Think about it.”

“I could care less what they think,” I spat.

“What about Joseph?” she asked. “Do you want them labeling the child like that?  You know that they will.”

I sighed. “I’m too busy with my research to re-open my practice.  We have no idea what’s going to happen to him.  If he turns vampire, I want to be able to reverse it.”

“When is  your appointment with Dr. Lansbury?” she asked.

“I was under the impression that you two were good friends,” I said.

“We are,” she replied.

“Then, why do you refer to her as Dr. Lansbury instead of Amy?” I asked.

Megan shrugged.  “It’s always been that way.  Respect, I guess.”

“Yet, you call me Vickie,” I snapped.

I had no idea why I was in such a foul mood or why I was directing it toward her.

Megan’s brows knitted together. “Are  you feeling alright?”

“The research is becoming all consuming,” I admitted.  “I’m getting a lot of headaches.  I should probably get my eyes checked.”

“Dr… err, Amy can arrange that,” she offered.

“Are you kidding me?” I said with angst as I switched Joseph to the other breast. “Do you expect me to only see vampire doctors?”

“It’s not just that child that we have to worry about. We’re still monitoring you.  Between Evan and that rogue monster, there was a lot of the vampire virus left in you,” she warned. “I think that rogue vampire deposited a good deal of venom when he raped you.  He was probably trying to turn you.”

“Which transferred into Joseph.  I know,” I said with disgust.  “I’m going to tell you something that you might not want to hear, but I feel very strongly about it.  When I finally come up with a cure and I know that Joseph is safe, I don’t ever want to associate with another vampire or supernatural human again.  That includes your doctor friend.”

“Gee, thanks,” she muttered. “Am I expected to just walk away from you, then?”

“You’re not supernatural.  You’re magically gifted,” I clarified.

She raised a brow and cocked her head. “There’s a difference?”

“Vampires are unpredictable and dangerous.  I have all I can do to handle humans,” I stubbornly said. “And don’t even  get me started on werewolves and zombies.”

“Do you still plan on looking for a zombie cure?” she asked.

“Without Evan, the research is harder,” I confessed. “I knew he was a help, but I didn’t realize just how much of a help.”

“Hire a nanny and I’ll pitch in more,” she said.

I heaved a sigh. “I’ve thought about it, but I’m  suffering trust issues these days.”

 “I can find someone for you,” she offered. “If you trust my  judgement, that is.”

“Where’s that coming from?” I asked with surprise.  “Why wouldn’t I trust your judgement where my son… your godson… is concerned?”

“He’s my godson?” she said with glee.  “I had no idea.”

“We’ll need to make it official at some point, if you believe in such rituals,” I said.  “I just know that if anything ever happened to me, I’d hope that you’d step in and take care of him.  I already worked it out with the lawyer.”

She grinned, broadly, as I pulled Joseph from my breast and lifted him back to her waiting arms. “You were sure I’d do it, eh?”

“I was hoping that you’d do it,” I said as I pulled fresh nursing pads from my pocket and positioned them over my nipples.  Then, I refastened the nursing bra and adjusted my shirt back to normal.  “Was I wrong?”

“Are you crazy?” she said as she planted a long, wet kiss on his smiling face before she positioned him against her shoulder and rubbed his back to encourage burping.  “He’s got me wrapped right around that little pinky of his and  you know it.  I couldn’t go a day without giving this sweet boy some love.”

I smiled with satisfaction as I stood up and brushed bits of soil from my pants before I started back across the field toward the car.

“My appointment with Dr. Lansbury is next week,” I said, emphasizing the good doctor’s name.

“I’m going to stay here for a while,” Megan said as she handed Joseph to me and started toward her cabin. “I still have a few things to work on with the old house and I don’t want to take that energy into our living environment.”

“What kind of energy are you working with?” I asked.

“If you can believe it, I still haven’t been able to release Matilda from the house.  She’s stuck and I can’t seem to unstick her.  I’ve tried everything that I know to do,” she said with frustration.  “I want to call in the spirits and see if they can tell me something that I might be missing.  Since the estate house is spirit proofed, I don’t want to undo it.”

“I appreciate that,” I said as I started toward my car.  I secured my son into his car seat and turned to look for her.  She was just stepping on to the porch. “What about Lily?” I called out.  “Will you be calling her in?”

When she nodded, I looked at my son and sighed.  I would have loved to have joined Megan so that I could see and speak with my aunt once again. Sadly, I had no one to watch him so that I could. 

I hadn’t seen Lily since she’d attended Evan’s funeral. It was mutually decided that the less supernatural energies that Joseph was exposed to, the better.  We worried that, if he was on the cusp of turning, such energy could enhance the possibility.  We’d even debated about taking him to Dr. Amy Lansbury, since she was a vampire, but we couldn’t have a human doctor tending to him if he ended up turning into a vampire.  So, she was the only supernatural energy that he was exposed to.

The same was with me, but I never put much thought into the fact that I too was at risk of turning. My thoughts, my world, my life was completely devoted to my son’s needs and concerns.