Chapter 3

I was in shock.  I knew that I ran the risk of becoming a vampire, but, for some reason, I didn’t take it seriously.  I’d focused all of my worries on my son.  Now, I was becoming exactly what I was striving to protect him from.

This couldn’t be happening.

I struggled to stay within the speed limit as I drove back to my house.  I wanted to get home and put space between myself and my son as soon as possible. 

Cynthia greeted us with a smile that quickly faded when she saw my face.  She wasn’t familiar enough with me to ask what was wrong, but it was clear that she was concerned.  I assured her that Joseph received a clean bill of health and asked her to take him into the nursery for his nap. Then, I hunted down Megan.  I found her in the butler’s closet off the kitchen.

“I just restocked the wine rack,” she said with a smile upon seeing me.

“I need you to go buy some formula for Joseph,” I said with a voice that trembled almost as much as my body.

“Is he alright?” she asked with a panicky voice.

“His checkup showed him clear, but I’m not.  I can’t feed him anymore,” I said as I burst into tears.

She wrapped me in her arms and said nothing while I cried myself calm.

When I finally reached the point of just sniffling, she asked, “Is she sure?”

“That’s why I’ve been so bitchy and getting those headaches.  I’m turning,” I explained. “I wanted to get away from vampires and now I’m going to be one.”

“How much longer do you have?” she asked.

“If I don’t die, it will be a slow transition,” I moaned. “It could even be months.”

“Then, don’t die,” she said with hope in her voice. “We’re on the verge of a cure.  You know we are.  You might be able to stop this.”

“In the meantime, the only mother and son time that I had with Joseph is gone,” I moaned.

“You can still feed him,” she said with a rational tone. “You just can’t breast feed him.”

“I’m afraid to expose him to me. We agreed to keep that type of energy away from him,” I pouted.

“You’re his mother,” she said with a frown.

“I’m still a threat,” I insisted.

“Do you plan on staying away from him completely?” she asked with a shocked tone.

“Yes.  No.  I don’t know,” I wailed.  “I don’t want to expose my son.  He got a clean bill of health.  The doctor thinks that he might escape becoming a vampire because he’s showing no signs at all.  I don’t want to risk changing that.”

She sighed. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“There’s nothing you can say or do,”  I groaned. “Until we find a cure, I can’t risk going near my son.”

Megan made a pouty face. “That has to

be the saddest thing I’ve heard… ever.”

“I’m too shook up and my head is pounding.  Can you please go buy some formula for him?” I practically whimpered.

“What do I tell Cynthia?” she asked.

“You’ll think of something, my friend,” I said.

“I won’t be long,” she said over her shoulder in a defeated tone as she grabbed the car keys from the hook by the door that led to the garage. 

I stood and watched until the door closed behind her and then headed up the stairs to my room.

I didn’t lay on the bed.  Instead, I sat in the club chair next to the window and looked out onto the expansive and immaculately groomed lawn.

Memories of looking out of my bedroom window at the old house and watching Peter get into the cab that would take him out of my life forever taunted me inside of my head.  I tried to shake them out, but they wouldn’t budge.  The hurt of his leaving, his failure to contact me, and his lie about having a wife and child welled within me until I thought my heart would literally implode from the weight of the oppressive and searing pain.

I cried over Peter until I could cry no more.  Then, I moved to Max. He was the only love I had who was human. Yet, he was the worst of the three. 

I was going to be a vampire very soon.  This would change things forever.  I’d have to live the life of an immortal and face the pain of Max’s deceit each day if I didn’t face it and deal with it now.

“How could you?” I said aloud. “I loved you  and I trusted you. You knew what Peter did to me.  Yet, look what you did.  It was worse, Max.  Far worse.  At least Peter wasn’t running from my bed to another woman’s bed several times a week.  Or, maybe he was.  I don’t know.  I don’t know anything anymore.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face into them.  My slacks were soaked with tears by the time I realized that my breasts needed to be emptied of their milk.  It wasn’t something that I’d considered until then.

A light knock on my door caught my attention. “Who is it?”

“I got the formula.  It’s supposed to be the closest thing to mother’s milk. Cynthia’s introducing him to it,” Megan said as she quietly entered my room.  “It might prove challenging.”

“It can’t be helped,” I said as I pulled my shirt over my head to change into something that wasn’t soaked with breast milk.  “I’ve got to do something about this milk.”

“Isn’t there a shot to dry you up?” she asked.

“There is,” I replied with a nod.

“Did Amy say that he couldn’t have your milk?  Is it tainted?” she asked.

“I didn’t think to ask her that,” I replied as I peeled the milk drenched nursing pads off of my nipples and tossed them into a nearby trash receptacle that had been placed there specifically for such a purpose.

“Don’t you think we should find out before you do anything?  After all, not having you around will be enough of a change.  If we can avoid taking your milk from him, then we should.  At least wean him instead of making him go cold,” she said.

“This is a nightmare,” I said as I pulled out a breast pump and began to pump my breasts.  “I was thinking of starting to wean him anyway,” I said.

“Let me call Amy and see about your milk

before you do anything. Will you?” she asked.

“Call her soon, then,” I said.  “I have no intention of pumping my breasts like this much more.”

While Megan called her friend, the good Dr. Amy Lansbury, I mulled over all that had happened since I graduated from med school and took the job as the community physician.  I’d been attacked and kidnapped by both zombies and werewolves, raped, and bitten by vampires, raped by an incubus, poisoned, and deceived by those that I loved.  Yet, out of all that had happened, being separated from my son because I was turning into a vampire topped them all.

Megan slid her cell phone back into her pocket and turned to me with a triumphant look.  “According to our friendly and ever so competent vampire doctor, if your milk hasn’t altered Joseph by now, it’s not going to.”

“She’s sure?  One-hundred percent sure?” I said, with a strong emphasis on the word sure.

“She’s ninety-nine percent sure, Vickie,” Megan said with obvious impatience.  “Don’t muck this up for that child. You can still feed him.  After the fiasco I just witnessed in that nursery, I suggest that you do it.”

“Have her bring him to me, then,” I said as I turned off the pump.  “I’ve pumped about half of it out.”

“Okay, so I’ll get a nipple for the bottle,” Megan offered.  “You can start him off on your breast and then finish with the bottle. It’ll be a good way to slowly wean him from you, if that’s what you want to do.”

“I’d planned on having him weaned within a few months,” I said.

“Okay, so you start slow,” she said as she left the room.

I sat, bare breasted, while I waited for Cynthia to bring Joseph to me.  It was probably the vampire monster taking hold of me that made me stay that way even though I was fully aware of the fact that it would make Cynthia uncomfortable.  Just like it was the vampire monster in me that insisted that she remained in the room and watch me nurse him.  I made no move to cover myself while I berated her for being a prude.  I even went so far as to work my free breast so that milk came out while I explained the workings of the milk ducts in the matter-of-fact tone of a disinterested and bored physician.

The evil monster that was seeded inside or me took pleasure in the power that I held over her, as well as the redness in her cheeks.  I hated that monster.  I remembered the wickedness of the one inside of Evan when it attacked me like it did.  It was such a shock to see something like that when Evan was such a sweet and balanced male.  Would I end up  doing such a thing to this young girl?  Should I send her packing before it was too late?  I just didn’t know.  All I did know was that my head hurt, my abdomen was cramping, and I had no patience for her immature prudishness.