1. Again

~Aliyah’s POV~

The sound of birds chirping made me smile and I turned over, snuggling into my bunny plushie.

“It’s been months since I’ve seen the sunrise. For the moon goddess’s sake, lift your lazy ass and go outside. I want to breathe in fresh air,” Lizzy, my wolf, growled in my head.

I growled back at her in annoyance, “If you two had chosen to let me sleep on time at night then I wouldn’t be sleeping for late in the morning... For the Moon Goddess’s sake, just be quiet and let me sleep.”

I shut off my link with my wolf and sighed while trying to fall asleep again but just like every other day, I started twisting and turning again.

“Trust me, it won’t stop until you do something about putting an end to your awful breath,” Ellen, the vampire inside me screeched in my head.

“Shut up!” I yelled, burying my face in my pillow.

“And if you don’t, I swear I’ll drag you out into the sunlight for a ‘sun bath.’ And you very well know that you won’t be able to handle the sun on your own... So shut up, Ellen!”

I hate this... I hate how every single second Ellen tells me to self-slaughter myself... I hate sharing my body with her... I hate how she makes me feel around my family, about them, and for them...

God... I wish I was only a werewolf. Why did I have to be a vampire, too?

I don’t want to! I hate her... I hate her the same way she hates Lizzy and me.

Lizzy and her bickering have become so intense and annoying now that sometimes I feel like putting an end to all of this... But that won’t be justice to me...

They never let me eat, sleep, walk, work, or even bathe without any argument. Ever since I became one with these two, my life has become beautifully awful.

The constant worry of becoming a hybrid was in my heart, but I never thought it would be this bad.

I grew up with werewolves... I knew how important relationships and their pack were for them and my mother... She is a vampire... I saw her lovingly accepting every single wolf in the pack and leading the pack without any hatred in her heart. Never did I see her vampire manipulating her or telling her to harm herself but Ellen and Lizzy... They both always make me feel pathetic about myself.

Lizzy is not Ellen’s level bad with me but sometimes she also says things to me that make me feel like I chose this life for myself. It was not my choice to be a hybrid... It just happened... It... It was my fate...

I was an early bird, hence I always loved to sleep early in the night but due to their bickering in my head every single night, my sleep pattern has been disturbed badly.

The girl who used to go to bed before eleven in the night now stays awake the whole night and sleeps around four or five in the morning.

Mom thought dealing with a vampire wouldn’t be that difficult for me since I was a human first and my vampire side would also kind of cooperate with me because I am not a full vampire. I also thought the same. Ellen was able to eat so many things instead of only blood, was able to walk outside whenever she liked, and was able to sleep like a human as well but... We were wrong... Instead of loving the life she was getting, she was hating me every single second and telling me to put an end to my life.

I threw the sheets away and sat straight on the bed. Stretched my muscles for a few seconds and then walked to my bathroom to have a shower. I just hope they both will stay quiet for a while. I am done with hearing their arguments in my head now and then.

I quickly did my morning routine and stripped naked under the cold shower. The cold water running down my back gave me a sense of relief and I closed my eyes while absorbing the goodness of water from head to toe.

I hope all of this will end soon... I don’t know how I will do the needful, but I just know that I have to... I can’t live my whole life like this. Heck, neither would they let me.

If I don’t reach the solution before my twenty-first birthday, then these two will make my life so difficult that even breathing would feel like a crime.

I slowly washed my hair and massaged my scalp with my favorite shampoo; its mint fragrance instantly started to calm the ache in my head. A hungry growl from my stomach reached my ears, and I groaned; I had started eating so much these days that I am sure if I hadn’t been working out daily, then I would have gained a lot of pounds.

“What’s for the breakfast?” I asked Mom in the mind link.

“You are up already? Baby...” I heard her long sigh in the mind link. I shook my head.

I don’t know how long it will take me to ease the tension in my parent’s hearts.

“Mom, you know my sleep pattern. There is nothing new about it... Anyway, I am hungry,” I said as calmly as I could.

“Crepes and pancakes with your favorite fruits and juice.”

“Can send some to my room? I want to eat and then go to bed again. I don’t feel like joining everyone.”

Even if it’s been months since I have had trouble sleeping, my family still hasn’t gotten used to it. Whenever they see eyebags under my eyes, their small smile drops down, and the shine in their eyes disappears. I don’t like seeing them like this.

“I know why you want to be alone, and it’s fine; I’ll send the breakfast to your room, but... In case you forgot, I want to remind you of your cousin’s birthday.”

My cousin’s birthday?

Oh, shoot... Again? How could I forget Carter’s birthday? What the heck was wrong with me?

I always went to his place to wish him his birthday, but I have been so disturbed in the past three years that I always tend to forget his birthday. Every year, I promise myself that I won’t repeat the same, but... I always end up doing things that I don’t want to. Not only with Carter but with Damien as well.

I quickly washed off all the soap from my body and ran into my closet. I need to go to the Dark Moon pack right now!

Quickly getting dressed into a black off-shoulder top and beige pants, I let my mid-length wavy honey blonde hair air dry and applied moisturizer and lip balm on my lips. I quickly hid my eyebags with the help of concealer and sighed, I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. I know they already are, but it will be good if I hide evident stress on my face under makeup.

I put on my black flat slippers that had a bow on them, jogged out of my room, and went straight to the living room.

“Your breakfast, sweetheart,” I heard Mom’s voice from my right, but I didn’t stop.

Last time, I promised Carter that I would throw the best birthday party for him on his next birthday, but I failed to remember his birthday... Again.

“Aliyah...” My brother, Damien, grabbed my hand and turned me around, “At least have breakfast. I know where you are heading, but even he won’t like you skipping your breakfast. Eat first and then leave.”

“But I-“

“No... Princess, eat before you leave. You are already troubled... I don’t want those two to bother you for not giving them proper meals,” Dad said while shaking his head.

I nodded to him without arguing and sat at the dining table with Mom beside me. She gave me a spoonful of pancakes and smiled, “Just like always, we will have people from different packs in the Dark Moon pack tonight. Who knows, maybe you will find the solution to all your problems tonight?”

“You have been saying this for every party, Mom,” I shook my head.

“And is there anything wrong with hoping?” She asked while giving me another spoonful of pancake and blueberries.

I shook my head and smiled, “No...”