1: Her

"Mother's love is so powerful, it heals your soul"- Unknown.

Cold.

Where was I?

My whole body hurt, my eyes weighted like two heavy stones.

But still, I tried to open them.

Slowly...

Was that a hand that was on my forehead?

Oh no! Did they find me?

"......Will she be okay?....."

Me? Okay? But who was concerned for me?

My parents died when I was three and my foster parents tried to sell me off to some bad men. My foster siblings couldn't bear me except for my eldest foster brother.

Who would be concerned for me?

I struggled as the headache hit me with it's full force.

Open your eyes!

"....She was badly hurt..."

Yes, I was.

My heart ached and they tortured me.

"...Can I adopt her?...."

Someone wants me as their daughter?

Why?

I ran away from my home and was a child with many fears. I resembled a bony skeleton after years of being ill fed. I was a sore burden.

Why would anyone want a burden?

I slowly opened my eyes as my blurred vision halted on..... a woman?

The woman seemed to be crying. Her hand was on my forehead as she animatedly talked with the doctor.

When her gaze stopped on me, she smiled kindly at me, "You are awake child!"

I only stared at her, observing her.

"What pretty brown eyes you have! You are so strong!"

My eyes widened in shock.

I was used to being called a pathetic coward, a naïve girl, a product and when my mommy was alive she used to call me angel.

But no one called me strong.

She smiled brightly at me, "Don't worry, amore, you're safe now. No one's gonna harm you."

..So, they won't come back?

"You are safe now my love," the lady repeated, her smile was brighter than the sun, "I'm Cassedy."

Cassedy.

The woman who gave me a new life.

She was my mother.

And I couldn't ask for more as a girl who escaped the clutches of monsters.

My entreaties, my tears, my whispers of prayer..... everything mingles into one as I desperately wished that I wouldn't be found by that monster.

Rose's POV:

Throughout our life, we come across many odds, many reflections. Different shades of color, different shades.

The blues of miseries, the red of passion and our life that is indulged in black and white. We live in everything that is grey.

Grey that is the color of dreams, the color of nightmares.

My nightmares mantled me like a thorny cloak, like an adamant bloodstain- they were constant.

I did leave those monsters 22 years ago, but, the scars they gave me- it never left my mind.

I had demons, so many of them, haunting me, nagging me. My traumas were constant, reveling in my misery.

My eyes wandered to a void as I felt this weird hollowness in my chest, a feeling that had been with me since forever.

All I felt was this void, this grey that lived within me.

A sigh escaped me, as I circled the rim of the hot mug, the piping hot americano giving off a bittersweet smell that filled my senses with a feeling of warmth. A dried rose lied idly at the corner of the round table, the mellifluous hum of the rain ringing in my ears like a beautiful melody.

I stared out, watching as the rain showered the glass pane, the carved golden rim of the full sized windows, shining under the soft yellow light of the only chandelier of the restaurant. The night shed it's carapace into midnight as the sound of the city slowly began to die down, the sound of rain overpowering it.

The drizzle turned into a storm, the call of the wind thrumming throughout. Ruffles of tree leaves, breaking sound of woods along with the occasional boom of thunder- the surreal pellucidity of rain filled a small void of me.

A smiled lit up my face as I brought the warm mug to my lips, taking a sip of the bittersweet coffee, the decadent warm liquid making my taste bud dance in joy. I glanced down at my black and white waitress outfit- frowning as I wondered about time.

When was mama going to close the restaurant anyway?

A sigh escaped me as I tried to push the thoughts of my grotesque nightmares back, concentrating on what was happening now.

The present.

"Roseline?" I tilted my head, glancing back as mama made her way out of the kitchen, a white towel in her hand as she wiped something and a frown latched on her face. She was probably done preparing for tomorrow's serving. "You are still here?"

I smiled softly as I saw her making her way to me. "I stayed back to tell you that I am staying at the apartment tonight."

Her frown deepened as she pulled out a chair and took a seat across me, "Why can't you stay here? Would it hurt you to stay with your mom for once?"

I rolled my eyes as I took another sip from the cup, "Mama, I am not a baby anymore. I am a grown up woman for god's sake."

"Still, you will be safer with me..." She sighed, "I can't stop you can I?"

I shook my head.

"I don't want you to have nightmares anymore...." She smiled at me, melancholy lacing her features, "Or at least, I want to be there when you have them."

Mama.

The woman who built me.

The woman who comforted me when I had nightmares.

But I can't be her shadow the whole life can I? So many springs passed, so many years of my life I spent being afraid and scared- of them.

I was running from some demons I didn't even remember the face of, it was time I stood up for myself.

I was broken, traumatized, yet, I wanted to be strong so bad.

I was chasing something in the void of my heart, only to realize what I was chasing could never be conquered.

"You were always with me, mama...." I uttered softly as a roar of thunder resonated, "I want to face my nightmares... I want to be strong."

"You are already strong, Rose..." She sighed, "I am so proud of the woman you have become today. You might not realize it, but you are already fighting your battles like a warrior."

I wanted to believe it.

Yet, I didn't have the strength to.

"Remember what the doctor said, Rose..." She placed her warm hand over my cold ones, making me look into her deep brown eyes, "No war is as difficult as the war with yourself. You are always thinking, Roseline. Don't do it, my little flower."

"I want to but..." I sighed, "It's getting late mama, I should go back."

"Be careful, love.." She said as I took the last sip from the coffee, "Don't get yourself into rain, remember when you caught pneumonia?"

I nodded as I grabbed my purse, standing up and shooting her a smile, "Mama, sleep tight..." I pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her smile, "I love you."

"Love you too, my child," She pecked the side of my cheek, as I bade her adieu.

"Take the umbrella! Don't get your clothes wet! Sleep with that thick duvet covering from your head to toe and take a paracetamol!"

I laughed as I heard her voice drifting from behind me. I grabbed an umbrella from the umbrella holder and opening it, before letting myself out in the rain.

I loved rain, it made me feel full, contented. It made me feel happy.

Too bad, if I soaked, I would catch a serious cold.

I sighed as I umbrellaed myself and took cautious steps. The storm dimmed to a drizzle again and I couldn't be more thankful about it.

The road was unusually silent and it was almost 10:30. I would probably have to walk since my apartment was somewhat close to the restaurant and I didn't want a tree fly to my face.

The constant pitter-patter of the water made me sigh as I walked myself, my hands itching to let go of the umbrella and let myself drench.

My insides twisted in excitement as I looked back at the restaurant, it was too far to make mama notice me.

Yellow lights showered the brick caverned road with a soft hue, a solemn bench sat the side of the road. Muddy smell of soil filled my senses as I contemplated whether I should let go of the umbrella.

Ah fuck it!

I dropped the umbrella as I let myself into the rain completely- feeling the cold drops of water drenching me a little by little.

I let out a sigh of content as I felt the cold drops of water on my face, a smile lit up my face as I looked around.

Not a soul.

A shiver ran down me, I was probably going to have a fever, but some sacrifices are worth it.

I let myself drown in the beauty of the rain, feeling it purify my soul and filling the void of it.

My greys mixed with yellow as I closed my eyes, letting myself bask in the welcoming warmth of the cold rain.

I heard tires screeching as a black car drove by, but I was too immersed in the beautiful feeling to care.