Most people need to hear those "three little words" I love you. Once in a while, they hear them just in time
I met Connie the day she was admitted to the hospice ward, where I worked as a volunteer. Her husband, Bill, stood nervously nearby as she was transferred from the gurney to the hospital bed. Although Connie was in the final stages of her fight against cancer, she was alert and cheerful. We got her settled in. I finished marking her name on all the hospital supplies she would be using, then asked if she needed anything.
"Oh, yes," she said, "would you please show me how to use the TV? I enjoy the soaps so much and I don't want to get behind on what's happening." Connie was a romantic. She loved soap operas, romance novels and movies with a good love story. As we became acquainted, she confided how frustrating it was to be married 32 years to a man who often called her "a silly woman."
"Oh, I know Bill loves me," she said, "but he has never been one to say he loves me, or send cards to me." She sighed and looked out the window at the trees in the courtyard. "I'd give anything if he'd say 'I love you,' but it's just not in his nature."
Bill visited Connie every day. In the beginning, he sat next to the bed while she watched the soaps. Later, when she began sleeping more, he paced up and down the hallway outside her room. Soon, when she no longer watched television and had fewer waking moments, I began spending more of my volunteer time with Bill.
He talked about having worked as a carpenter and how he liked to go fishing. He and Connie had no children, but they'd been enjoying retirement by traveling, until Connie got sick. Bill could not express his feelings about the fact that his wife was dying.
One day, over coffee in the cafeteria, I got him on the subject of women and how we need romance in our lives; how we love to get sentimental1 cards and love letters.
"Do you tell Connie you love her?" I asked (knowing his answer), and he looked at me as if I was crazy.
"I don't have to," he said. "She knows I do!"
"I'm sure she knows," I said, reaching over and touching his hands rough, carpenter's hands that were gripping the cup as if it were the only thing he had to hang onto "but she needs to hear it, Bill. She needs to hear what she has meant to you all these years. Please think about it."
We walked back to Connie's room. Bill disappeared inside, and I left to visit another patient. Later, I saw Bill sitting by the bed. He was holding Connie's hand as she slept. The date was February 12.
Two days later I walked down the hospice ward at noon. There stood Bill, leaning up against the wall in the hallway, staring at the floor. I already knew from the head nurse that Connie had died at 11 A.M..
When Bill saw me, he allowed himself to come into my arms for a long time. His face was wet with tears and he was trembling. Finally, he leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath.
"I have to say something," he said. "I have to say how good I feel about telling her." He stopped to blow his nose. "I thought a lot about what you said, and this morning I told her how much I loved her... and loved being married to her. You shoulda2 seen her smile!"
I went into the room to say my own goodbye to Connie. There, on the bedside table, was a large Valentine card from Bill. You know, the sentimental kind that says,
No one’s born being good at all things. You become good at things through hard work.You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song.You’ve got to practice. The same principle applies to your schoolwork.You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right. You might have to read something a few times before you understand it.You definitely have to do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strengthbecause it shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and that then allows you to learn something new. So find an adult that you trust -- a parent, a grandparentor teacher, a coach or a counselor -- and ask them to help you stay on track tomeet your goals.Many people rea
Dear World:My son starts school today.It's going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently.You see, up to now, he's been king of the roost.He's been boss of the backyard.I have always been around to repair his wounds, and to soothe his feelings.But now--things are going to be different.This morning, he's going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand and start on his great adventure that will probably include wars and tragedy and sorrow.To live his life in the world he has to live in will require faith and love and courage.So, World, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know.Teach him - but gently, if you can.Teach him that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every crooked politician there is a dedicated leader; that for every enemy there is a friend.Teach him the wonders of books.Give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in
"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.Paul nodded, "My brother gave it to me for Christmas."The boy was astounded, "You mean your brother gave it to you, and didn't cost you anything?""Boy, I wish..." he hesitated.Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he has a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paull all the way down his heels."I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that."Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then inpulsivly he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?""Oh, yes. I'd love that."After a short ride, the boy turned his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbours that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again."Would you stop at those with two steps?" the boy asked.He ran up stairs. Then in a little while, Paul heard him coming back, but he was not
I look at spiders and butter-flies . I watch caterpillars and moths . Sometimes I think I'm the only one who notices these things . But if it hadn't been for a crowded cafeteria , I wouldn't Have ever noticed Valeri . After all , I wasn't looking for new friends .Valeri was a new student . She walked to class with her boooks huddled against her chest and her head down . He talked only when the teacher asked her a question . After a month at our school , she hadn't made any friend . At recess , she sat on a bench and read . If you asked who she was , you'd get a response like this , "She's in my PE class , I can't remenber her name ."One day at lunch , I had nowhere to sit . Most tables were full , my friends scattered among them . But Valeri sat alone , book in hand , I walked over to her ."May I sit here ?"I asked ."Sure ,"she said .The cafeteria was noisy , but silence hung between us . Valeri didn't seem to mind , but it drove me crazy . I searched my mind for things to say .
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors,
Purple rose up to his full height: He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: "You foolish colors, fighting amo
Sometimes I really doubt whether there is love between my parents. Every day they are very busy trying to earn money in order to pay the high tuition for my brother and me. They don’t act in the romantic ways that I read in books or I see on TV. In their opinion, “I love you” is too luxurious for them to say. Sending flowers to each other on Valentine’s Day is even more out of the question. Finally my father has a bad temper. When he’s very tired from the hard work, it is easy for him to lose his temper.One day, my mother was sewing a quilt. I silently sat down beside her and looked at her.“Mom, I have a question to ask you,” I said after a while.“What?” she replied, still doing her work.“Is there love between you and Dad?” I asked her in a very low voice.My mother stopped her work and raised her head with surprise in her eyes. She didn’t answer immediately. Then she bowed her head and continued to sew the quilt.I was very worried because I thought I had hurt her. I was in a gre
No one’s born being good at all things. You become good at things through hard work.You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song.You’ve got to practice. The same principle applies to your schoolwork.You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right. You might have to read something a few times before you understand it.You definitely have to do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strengthbecause it shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and that then allows you to learn something new. So find an adult that you trust -- a parent, a grandparentor teacher, a coach or a counselor -- and ask them to help you stay on track tomeet your goals.Many people rea
Most people need to hear those "three little words" I love you. Once in a while, they hear them just in timeI met Connie the day she was admitted to the hospice ward, where I worked as a volunteer. Her husband, Bill, stood nervously nearby as she was transferred from the gurney to the hospital bed. Although Connie was in the final stages of her fight against cancer, she was alert and cheerful. We got her settled in. I finished marking her name on all the hospital supplies she would be using, then asked if she needed anything."Oh, yes," she said, "would you please show me how to use the TV? I enjoy the soaps so much and I don't want to get behind on what's happening." Connie was a romantic. She loved soap operas, romance novels and movies with a good love story. As we became acquainted, she confided how frustrating it was to be married 32 years to a man who often called her "a silly woman.""Oh, I know Bill loves me," she said, "but he has never been one to say he loves me, or send ca
Sometimes I really doubt whether there is love between my parents. Every day they are very busy trying to earn money in order to pay the high tuition for my brother and me. They don’t act in the romantic ways that I read in books or I see on TV. In their opinion, “I love you” is too luxurious for them to say. Sending flowers to each other on Valentine’s Day is even more out of the question. Finally my father has a bad temper. When he’s very tired from the hard work, it is easy for him to lose his temper.One day, my mother was sewing a quilt. I silently sat down beside her and looked at her.“Mom, I have a question to ask you,” I said after a while.“What?” she replied, still doing her work.“Is there love between you and Dad?” I asked her in a very low voice.My mother stopped her work and raised her head with surprise in her eyes. She didn’t answer immediately. Then she bowed her head and continued to sew the quilt.I was very worried because I thought I had hurt her. I was in a gre
Purple rose up to his full height: He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: "You foolish colors, fighting amo
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors,
I look at spiders and butter-flies . I watch caterpillars and moths . Sometimes I think I'm the only one who notices these things . But if it hadn't been for a crowded cafeteria , I wouldn't Have ever noticed Valeri . After all , I wasn't looking for new friends .Valeri was a new student . She walked to class with her boooks huddled against her chest and her head down . He talked only when the teacher asked her a question . After a month at our school , she hadn't made any friend . At recess , she sat on a bench and read . If you asked who she was , you'd get a response like this , "She's in my PE class , I can't remenber her name ."One day at lunch , I had nowhere to sit . Most tables were full , my friends scattered among them . But Valeri sat alone , book in hand , I walked over to her ."May I sit here ?"I asked ."Sure ,"she said .The cafeteria was noisy , but silence hung between us . Valeri didn't seem to mind , but it drove me crazy . I searched my mind for things to say .
"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.Paul nodded, "My brother gave it to me for Christmas."The boy was astounded, "You mean your brother gave it to you, and didn't cost you anything?""Boy, I wish..." he hesitated.Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he has a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paull all the way down his heels."I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that."Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then inpulsivly he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?""Oh, yes. I'd love that."After a short ride, the boy turned his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbours that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again."Would you stop at those with two steps?" the boy asked.He ran up stairs. Then in a little while, Paul heard him coming back, but he was not
Dear World:My son starts school today.It's going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently.You see, up to now, he's been king of the roost.He's been boss of the backyard.I have always been around to repair his wounds, and to soothe his feelings.But now--things are going to be different.This morning, he's going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand and start on his great adventure that will probably include wars and tragedy and sorrow.To live his life in the world he has to live in will require faith and love and courage.So, World, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know.Teach him - but gently, if you can.Teach him that for every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every crooked politician there is a dedicated leader; that for every enemy there is a friend.Teach him the wonders of books.Give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in