Inessa

“You should keep your mouth shut sometimes, Inessa. Your bold over-smart mouth will ruin you one day.” My papa’s word. For a long time, I neglected these. I don’t really give a damn what my father’s say as I don’t think him someone honorable to heed attention to.

Everyone knows how obnoxious Andrew Simmons is. No one wants to be close to that narcissist man if it’s not demanded. All my siblings, even our maids, tried to stay away from my father’s judgemental thoughts.

But right now, I wish I could keep my mouth shut, like the woman who talks about her husband’s mistress on their honeymoon. I don’t know if he has someone to warm his bed other than me. In the past, of course, he definitely had a parade of women in his life. I don’t know if he cheated on Olivia or not.

Still, I don’t think it’s right to bring that woman on our honeymoon during this romantic dinner that he planned.

However, I am pissed, angry at him. The way he is treating me is another level of chaos. After having such an intimate wedding night, how dare he leave me alone in this foreign country? He even has the audacity of ordering me to end my friendship with one of my dear friends just because he doesn’t like Luke or his family. Now then, what was that behavior at the bar?

He acted like a loving husband in front of Harry, as if he was jealous of seeing me with another man. What a joke.

I don’t think we can work together at all. I was naïve enough to think that our marriage would work. Making this arranged marriage something real is the stupidest thought I have ever had. I pity myself for that.

“I am going to London for work, Inessa.” His eyes fill with dark shadows. “And I don’t have any mistress. For your information.”

“So, you plan to keep one?” Shut up, Inessa, you don’t want to know this answer, my mind shouts to me.

“What’s wrong with you?” Brian increases his voice.

This is the time I face the cold, angry beast that everyone whispers all around Chicago, the heartless bastard who doesn’t show any mercy to anyone. There was even a rumor he was responsible for his girlfriend Olivia’s accident, which is totally bogus knowing she was drunk driving.

The annoyance in his eyes is clear. I can see my words are getting under his nerves slowly, like poison. Who cares? If he doesn’t cherish, why should I?

“Yes, girl, that is the attitude we all require in our life.” My female ego shouts inside me.

“What?”

I try to be inflamed; I am but on me, not him. I learned to hide my sentiments from the world, and that’s what I do all the time. I am good at it too. However, I don’t want to lock up that from him; I want him to be aware of all my feelings.

What I am going through is similar to what I felt on the bed when I lost my virginity to him, what I feel every time he touches me, kisses me. I want to know this man every one of my feelings. I am angry that this stupid man doesn’t even let me be close to him, and I know this will be. How is this marriage going to be?

“I am not going to cheat on you. I never did, and I will never do that in the future.” He clutches his teeth. “I will never disrespect you that way.”

I feel a rash of happiness run through my heart. For some reason, I feel satisfied with his declaration. I don’t know what kind of feeling I am developing for him. However, deep inside my heart, I want to fall in love with this man.

“Did you ever fall in love?” I whisper.

“No.” He doesn’t even hesitate to answer the question.

“Not even Olivia?” I am at ease now talking to him about his past. “I saw you two at all the parties. You two were inseparable, so close, hand on one another all the time, stolen kisses in front of a hundred people, sex in the toilet, garden of the parties. The intense chemistry you two shared. “made one another couple” that they used to call you two. I clear my throat and gaze at him. “Still, you say you have never loved her?”

It is more like a dare than a question.

Brian studies me for a certain time. He is swinging his wine glass slowly, a lazy smile comes to his lips as he drinks his wine.

“I didn’t know my society sweetheart, Inessa Simmons, was observing all my moves.” he leans on the chair, decompresses more than I have seen him.

All of a sudden, heat climbs up on my cheek. I am blushing; I am red as a tomato. I should do something to bury myself, yet I raise my eyes and face him bravely.

“It’s impossible to miss out on a couple who are so much in love that they zoned out of their surrounding.” I smile.

“I was infatuated with Olivia. Everything you saw was lust, although I still don’t understand why I wanted to propose to her for marriage.”

My stomach knots, he would have married her if she were alive today, I have no place in his life, it’s clear. He desired her enough to think of spending the rest of his life with her, a clear sign for any fool to see he totally loved her.

“Marry her,” I repeat his words.

“Yeah, such a fool I was. It will be a terrible marriage, horrendous finding my wife pregnant with another man’s spin-off, don’t you think?”

“Wait, what?” my world takes a 380-degree turn. “Was she pregnant?”

I cover my mouth with my hand. Oh god, he was about to become a father. Is there a child? The sigil of their love, I have never thought of that possibility before, now my head is swimming miles away, all it is worse to pile up on my head.

I don’t think I can go with this, this marriage is bound to be a failure, I shouldn’t have anticipated more from this. If I do, I am going to hurt. Only in such a short time, I am attracted to Brian, if he breaks my heart, I am going to downfall. No one can save me then.