CANNONCANNON JUNIORS, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THATPindrop whispered and for the most part of it, I ignored the fucker.My associates wouldn’t know what this felt like it even if it hit them like an IED blast from a ten-foot radius. My boys lay on the bed in the witness room and the fucking sight in front of me was enough to wish that they stayed in my home forever. That they lived with me for an eternity, heaven be damned.Too scared to even touch them, my large as fuck hands leant at the edge of the bed. Tainted, scarred, I didn’t want to pass my sins to them.I didn’t want the ink that tainted my damn life to taint theirs. I was their father but at the same time I was a God damn soldier who had more blood on his hands than a murder weapon. And for the first time in my life, I was fucking prepared to leave the rogue life behind me.No more guns.No more missions.And no more motherfucking bodyguarding.Living in a cute suburban house with a white picket fence surrounding me sounded as bo
NICOLEHETEROPATERNAL SUPERFECUNDATION, that's what the doc had explained and upto now I still couldn't grasp anything.Old me would have laughed at my situation, at the odds of my life turning into the telenovela I used to watch on Telemundo.New me however was terrified to the core. Lucas was Connor's father and he knew about it and he wanted us back. The thought of going back to him irked me worse than drinking pickle juice.My hands brushed Connor's hair while Jr snored to my left. How did things go so downhill?How did my life end up like this? And my sons. God knew things had changed so drastically.Lucas was a monster and I'd be a fool if I let him get close to Connor or Jr for that matter.The car we were in moved at a slow pace and I watched the trees swing at a carefree tempo and at the moment I envied that.I envied the freedom the barks of wood had. Swinging with the breeze, doing whatever the fuck they wanted.But this was freedom right? What I had at the moment was freed
CANNON“This is you starting a normal life with your woman and your kids beside you. Enjoy you fucking retirement Asher don’t whine at everything like Jason does”Jason was a whiny pussy, everyone knew that and although I had sworn, I wouldn’t fall in that category, shit around me was making no fucking sense.“I hate people, you fucking know that”“Don’t we all? But for the first time, soldier, shit ain’t about you only. They have to lead normal lives. Blend in with people if you want them to survive from the fucker that’s after them”Berkely’s translation for, the limp dick who thought he would survive if he tried to take me on.Lucas Hawkins wasn’t a shark in my world, he was a mere tad pole growing his skin and I would kill him any day if he tried to come close to me and my family.“I’ll kill him before he does so”, I roared my grip on the phone hard enough to break it.“Hey that’s our job. Your job is to be there for them, now for safety precautions lose the number Cannon”“How su
NICOLEDON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOVED BARBEQUES. My dad and I went to some of them very often every time elections were close by but this was different.We were going to a normal barbeque-ish gathering with people we didn’t know. God, if it were those cranky men from back in the days I used to converse with, I wouldn’t be this nervous.Senators were easy to charm but normal fucking people, that was hard and with what happened with Lucas the last thing I needed was seeing people.I rubbed my hands together standing by the foyer as I waited for the boys. They had been nervous as hell too.Well Jr mostly. Connor seemed ecstatic to go out, to make friends.Smoothing the crispiness of my dress again, I raised my head ready to shout for Jr and Connor that we were getting late only to find Callan leaning against the wall with a devilish grin.He owned the color black. Every black thing he wore seemed to be interwoven with him, seemed to perfectly match his physique and his aura. Because come on
CANNONEASY PEASY, LEMON FUCKING SQUEEZY.Except it wasn’t that easy, not by a long shot it wasn’t.“In the army huh. My cousin was a seal of some sort, five years in the TEAMS and he came back as a nutjob”, Ted or Jake ( I couldn’t fucking tell them apart anyway) said and I swallowed his insinuation of ‘ all military men are fucking nuts’ with a small forced smile.Try watching your pals blow into smithereens and then tell me how you would react after. We weren’t necessarily whack in the head but whatever shit we saw in the open field stayed imbued in us like a fucking drug.So, to Ted’s statement, I simply looked him in the eye and fought the urge to ask him whether he had ever shot anything except his seed in his wife’s pussy. I wouldn’t be surprised if his kids weren’t his anyway. He looked like a bad shot. In fucking everything. I could bet my money on it.“He was always a nutjob, Frank”, Billy said beside me handing me a mug of the shit liquor I had tried so hard to stay away fr
NICOLEHE DIDN’T KILL ANYONE. HE DIDN’T SAY A FUCKING THING right after I grew some balls and challenged him knowing very fucking well, he got pissed when he didn’t have control.I did it for me, taking that job meant finally doing something useful in my life. Not gonna lie with a father like mine I never had to work a single day of my life because daddy dearest made sure I didn’t and as such I lived in a bubble.A bubble that hadn’t prepared me to face the demons in the real world like Lucas.The other part of me the one that still craved family and love might have argued that I did this to make him jealous, that I did this to bring Callan and I together which I must admit was selfish to my boys but the heart wanted what it wanted.Even if what it wanted was a six feet hunk of muscle that would rather eat bullets for breakfast than forgive me for everything.“Two chocolates each or else it’s broccoli for supper. Oh God, I’m going to miss you two, come here”, I knelt on our carpeted l
CANNONLEONARD ARKINSON was the type of man to show up with ill fitted pleated khakis and a tweed jacket with suede elbow patches at a beer party.On this fine morning however, I had spotted the dick and his SUV right before he could cough up that lazy Brad fucking Pitt smile that must have worked on a ton of women in this town. Throwing off one of those British Vogue looks of ‘best dressed men’, Mr. Tailored suit stood by his car waiting for my wife.Can’t lie that I thought about how fast it would be to put a bullet through his head from where I was standing. It would take like what? Two seconds? Two fucking seconds to end the moron before he even knew what hit him.Nicole showed up a few seconds later and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to use my god damn Swiss knife to pop the eyes of the smarmy bastard. If him licking his lips wasn’t a fucking sign he liked what he saw, then his pants tautening at his crotch was a clear fucking indication he was turned on.And Nicole?Da
NICOLEGOOD GLASS OF wine, a bold pair of lacy thongs creeping up my ass and a comfy night gown made me feel…I don’t know formidable?Would you believe that?The kids were already in bed, and Callan well tonight wasn’t about Callan.He was in the army or Marines whatever he called it and I’m a hundred percent sure they survived a whole lot of weather conditions like drought or hypothermia. A little draft in the garage wouldn’t kill him.Yet here I was trying to watch another thrilling episode of TOO HOT TO HANDLE, swirling red wine in my mouth and trying to convince myself I didn’t feel a pang of guilt invade my chest.What if he died in there? Okay. I was being overdramatic and I hated myself for even caring this much.He wasn’t even sorry when I got home. I had half expected him to cook dinner as a way of apologizing or flowers? God, he didn’t have to go through the hassle of buying me flowers we had a garden full of them, he could have just picked them for me and lied he bought the
CASSANDRA BATESTHREE WEEKS OF INCONSISTENT NAGGING.I was so mad at him, I wanted to kick him in the shins for everything. But hurting him was hurting myself too and I wasn’t prepared for that.The first week Kade had made it clear no woman of his was staying in a walk-in closet carrying his kid and so he’d rented a luxurious penthouse for me.I took it under the one condition I would be paying rent monthly. That was my first mistake, assuming he would even take my money after the lustful and apologetic look he gave me when he left me in my new apartment.The second week was even more stressful. With him showing up at my apartment door with breakfast and baby necessities I didn’t require yet.The third week…Icarus woke up and I had been beyond thrilled knowing I hadn’t somewhat killed him. I visited him everyday and everyday Kade Hawkins was there, waiting for me with a grin and donuts and healthy drinks I hadn’t asked for and I rejected them.Rejected him. Not missing the pained ex
LUCIA AMATOTHEY said when your turn to die came, you could feel it in your bones. Feel it in the way you faded into nothingness not knowing what was beyond death.When that bullet had hit me, somehow that feeling had latched onto me. The feeling of welcoming death and saying goodbye to everything.Yet when I opened my eyes, light stinging my eyes with a vengeance, the last person I expected to see was the love of my life glancing down at me like an answered prayer.“Hey, princess” The smile he wore was enough to tell me everything was okay. I wasn’t dead. We weren’t separated, everything was going to be okay yet…My hand searched for my tummy, the IV needle injected to my hand hurting far worse than a bee sting.“Hey, hey, he’s fine. The baby’s fine”I didn’t realize there were tears in my eyes up until he said that.And when the first tear fell down my cheeks and the rest came crushing like hail, my throat throbbed as I whispered “Sorry” over and over again.I jumped in front of hi
KADE HAWKINS/ CONNORTHERE WAS only so much shit a man like me could take before he went berserk.I was on the verge of losing the one man who I would call my brother. The one man who was more of family to me than anyone else in this shitty world.On the same fucking day, the woman I would have gone to war for dumped my sorry ass. Regretfully telling me she was done with me…for good.And that shit, her tears, her words ate me up, nothing bloody made sense anymore.“She needs a minute”, my brother from another father quipped beside me not knowing the hell I was going through, the sting that was Cassie’s words and the gnawing fact that I had hurt her and I hadn’t apologized to her yet.“She’s done with me”, I muttered and we stood in foreboding silence looking at the theatre doors where Ice’s surgery was still going on.“Good because her handing your ass is your wake-up call to chase after her and earn her forgiveness”, Jr continued, I still couldn’t understand why they all stayed.Jaso
CASSANDRA BATESEVERYTHING HURT.Physically, emotionally, mentally, I wasn’t doing okay even as the doc assessed me for the hundredth time in the night.Seating at the edge of the bed, trying to piece everything together, I was on the verge of insanity and knowing that Icarus was somewhere in this massive hospital trying to hold onto dear life because of me devastated the hell out of me.The doc offered me a wan smile, all I could do was pretend that I wasn’t going mad when the truth of the matter was, I was. Indeed, going mad.“Everything looks fine, Ms. Bates given your um…earlier predicament. A few scratches here and there, nothing major enough to affect the baby. I would recommend a few ointments for the-“I had already tuned him out the minute I heard a word I didn’t think would ever be directed at me.Reality came crushing in and with it so was confusion and happiness and anxiety and everything a person like me who’d just been kidnapped and slapped with a dose of heartbreak coul
ICARUS ‘ICE’ HAWKINSEIGHT YEARS AGO, I WAS THE SAME fucking schmuck working for Lucas Hawkins. A scrawny kid with a maid for a mother, no father, no money, no fucking worth to anybody.And hell, I would have been the same loser all my life after mumsy died of typhoid or some shit of the sort had it not been for HIM.KADE FUCKING HAWKINS. MY GODDAMN SAVIOR. My partner in crime. My brother.The same boss’ son who thought we were equals. The same kid who had everything I never had and hated it.Money. A powerful father. Power. He had it all and the fucking kid hated every inch of it.I envied him. All my eighteen years of being his best friend and I envied everything he had. But apart from envy? I looked up to him. He might have been a sour pussy, hell a pain in the ass but the kid had his heart in the right place, had that urge to do what needed to be done to get ahead in life and I respected that because I wanted it too.And when the kid got his first dose of power, I straight up jump
CASSANDRA BATES“W-WHAT?”A pulsating headache threatened to split my head apart as I winced.I moved my hand…at least tried to anyway because my hand felt numb. Both my hands felt numb and any tiny movement made something rattle against my body.Prior memories of what happened came to my mind all at once upping the headache even further.I was crying, damn it after what had happened with Lucia, Kade and Jace, I had ended up like some hobo on the street crying then…then…My eyes shot open and like someone had knocked my head with a bat, everything came back biting me in the ass.The unwelcomed light ate my eyes without mercy but that’s not what made my heart pulsate madly in my chest.It was everything in my surroundings, it was in the way, my hands, my legs…I was tied up!I was tied up!What was this place…how…oh God what was…I sat in the middle of the largest warehouse I’d ever seen and I would have been at ease if there were other thigs in here but no…it was me alone in a creepy p
JACE `JR` ASHER/ TRIGGERLEFT, RIGHT, FRONT, THE beeping machines haunted me. I hadn’t slept a fucking wink not that it had mattered because the fucking doctors took their time in there.Four hours and counting, they’d completed the surgery but none of them geeky fucks had showed their asses to explain what was going on.How was she?How was my kid?“How are you holding up?” Ontario shot me a passive look and I shot him an equally tired one.Everyone was here but, in all honesty, I felt alone. I felt helpless and most of all I felt like someone had gutted me and yanked my entrails from my body.The chief, Flames, had brought every goddamn man in B&A to console my ass but he’d avoided me entirely and I had a good hunch it was because of the one man no one talked about.My bloody fucking asshole of a brother.The one who’d escaped his grave and unleashed hell on me.I didn’t answer. Ontario lay his arm across my shoulder.“You should have never fallen in love, buddy. Christ, you look wo
CONNOR/ KADE HAWKINSTHE WINSTON BLUE DIAMOND ring THE SIZE OF MY HEAD stared back at me and I could only stare back at it nursing a whole lot of emotions that wracked and unnerved me.I breathed but I wasn’t really breathing.I tried to think but every ticking moment went to what happened yesterday.Stupid. Fucking stupid.Why hadn’t I realized, why hadn’t I—Jr was alive! They all were and I hadn’t searched enough, hadn’t spent every last dime of daddy’s money to look for them.I had been stunned the minute the forty something year old man stared at me like he knew me while ironically aiming a rifle in my damn face.Then as if all the memories that had been caged in a tight little box had been unleashed, I remembered him.Remembered him with my father.Remembered him carrying me in his shoulders telling me…telling me to call him Uncle Jay.And that’s what I remembered; he was Uncle Jay. The cool uncle. The one who pissed my fath—Callan most of the times.And the man who peeked at me
JACE ‘JR’ ASHER/TRIGGER“J-Jace, THE BABY”“T-the baby”Her blood oozed from that spot on her chest I was trying so hard to apply fucking pressure on.Her eyes were dimming and there was nothing I could do as I held her, my hands trying their best to incorporate every single fucking thing I had learnt from B&A about handling a situation like this.“Stay with me, princess. Okay? S-stay with me”My voice croaked; my heart pumped so hard I could hear the blood thrum in my ears with an uproar.She was making it. She was going to make it. The baby was going to make it.She had to. They fucking had to.My hands were bloody, covered with her life, covered with my mistakes, when she opened her lips to speak, I saw life ebb out of her the same way my mother and father’s screams had assaulted my ears as fire took them away from me.“Luce? Lucia? Come on, baby. Don’t, don’t do this. Don’t—”And when my eyes couldn’t see shit, every noise I had tuned out since Lucia’s body went limp in my arms ca