CANNONโThis is you starting a normal life with your woman and your kids beside you. Enjoy you fucking retirement Asher donโt whine at everything like Jason doesโJason was a whiny pussy, everyone knew that and although I had sworn, I wouldnโt fall in that category, shit around me was making no fucking sense.โI hate people, you fucking know thatโโDonโt we all? But for the first time, soldier, shit ainโt about you only. They have to lead normal lives. Blend in with people if you want them to survive from the fucker thatโs after themโBerkelyโs translation for, the limp dick who thought he would survive if he tried to take me on.Lucas Hawkins wasnโt a shark in my world, he was a mere tad pole growing his skin and I would kill him any day if he tried to come close to me and my family.โIโll kill him before he does soโ, I roared my grip on the phone hard enough to break it.โHey thatโs our job. Your job is to be there for them, now for safety precautions lose the number CannonโโHow su
NICOLEDON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOVED BARBEQUES. My dad and I went to some of them very often every time elections were close by but this was different.We were going to a normal barbeque-ish gathering with people we didnโt know. God, if it were those cranky men from back in the days I used to converse with, I wouldnโt be this nervous.Senators were easy to charm but normal fucking people, that was hard and with what happened with Lucas the last thing I needed was seeing people.I rubbed my hands together standing by the foyer as I waited for the boys. They had been nervous as hell too.Well Jr mostly. Connor seemed ecstatic to go out, to make friends.Smoothing the crispiness of my dress again, I raised my head ready to shout for Jr and Connor that we were getting late only to find Callan leaning against the wall with a devilish grin.He owned the color black. Every black thing he wore seemed to be interwoven with him, seemed to perfectly match his physique and his aura. Because come on
CANNONEASY PEASY, LEMON FUCKING SQUEEZY.Except it wasnโt that easy, not by a long shot it wasnโt.โIn the army huh. My cousin was a seal of some sort, five years in the TEAMS and he came back as a nutjobโ, Ted or Jake ( I couldnโt fucking tell them apart anyway) said and I swallowed his insinuation of โ all military men are fucking nutsโ with a small forced smile.Try watching your pals blow into smithereens and then tell me how you would react after. We werenโt necessarily whack in the head but whatever shit we saw in the open field stayed imbued in us like a fucking drug.So, to Tedโs statement, I simply looked him in the eye and fought the urge to ask him whether he had ever shot anything except his seed in his wifeโs pussy. I wouldnโt be surprised if his kids werenโt his anyway. He looked like a bad shot. In fucking everything. I could bet my money on it.โHe was always a nutjob, Frankโ, Billy said beside me handing me a mug of the shit liquor I had tried so hard to stay away fr
NICOLEHE DIDNโT KILL ANYONE. HE DIDNโT SAY A FUCKING THING right after I grew some balls and challenged him knowing very fucking well, he got pissed when he didnโt have control.I did it for me, taking that job meant finally doing something useful in my life. Not gonna lie with a father like mine I never had to work a single day of my life because daddy dearest made sure I didnโt and as such I lived in a bubble.A bubble that hadnโt prepared me to face the demons in the real world like Lucas.The other part of me the one that still craved family and love might have argued that I did this to make him jealous, that I did this to bring Callan and I together which I must admit was selfish to my boys but the heart wanted what it wanted.Even if what it wanted was a six feet hunk of muscle that would rather eat bullets for breakfast than forgive me for everything.โTwo chocolates each or else itโs broccoli for supper. Oh God, Iโm going to miss you two, come hereโ, I knelt on our carpeted l
CANNONLEONARD ARKINSON was the type of man to show up with ill fitted pleated khakis and a tweed jacket with suede elbow patches at a beer party.On this fine morning however, I had spotted the dick and his SUV right before he could cough up that lazy Brad fucking Pitt smile that must have worked on a ton of women in this town. Throwing off one of those British Vogue looks of โbest dressed menโ, Mr. Tailored suit stood by his car waiting for my wife.Canโt lie that I thought about how fast it would be to put a bullet through his head from where I was standing. It would take like what? Two seconds? Two fucking seconds to end the moron before he even knew what hit him.Nicole showed up a few seconds later and I would be lying if I said I didnโt want to use my god damn Swiss knife to pop the eyes of the smarmy bastard. If him licking his lips wasnโt a fucking sign he liked what he saw, then his pants tautening at his crotch was a clear fucking indication he was turned on.And Nicole?Da
NICOLEGOOD GLASS OF wine, a bold pair of lacy thongs creeping up my ass and a comfy night gown made me feelโฆI donโt know formidable?Would you believe that?The kids were already in bed, and Callan well tonight wasnโt about Callan.He was in the army or Marines whatever he called it and Iโm a hundred percent sure they survived a whole lot of weather conditions like drought or hypothermia. A little draft in the garage wouldnโt kill him.Yet here I was trying to watch another thrilling episode of TOO HOT TO HANDLE, swirling red wine in my mouth and trying to convince myself I didnโt feel a pang of guilt invade my chest.What if he died in there? Okay. I was being overdramatic and I hated myself for even caring this much.He wasnโt even sorry when I got home. I had half expected him to cook dinner as a way of apologizing or flowers? God, he didnโt have to go through the hassle of buying me flowers we had a garden full of them, he could have just picked them for me and lied he bought the
CANNONโCAN WE COME WITH YOU?โI wish you would kiddo, I wish you would.I knelt on the ground, my duffel bag hanging loosely on my shoulder.โYour mom needs tough guys like you to protect her. You up for the challenge?โโIโm strong, I can protect herโ, Connor grinned.โIโm strong tooโ, Jr lurched forward and I ruffled their hair.โNo fighting. Be nice and protect mom at all costs okayโNot that I wouldnโt protect her. All the security cameras were routed to the phone in my back pocket and best believe I would keep an eye on them like a fucking hawk.โAre you coming back?โ Connor asked, his eyes too fucking sad for my liking.โI always come back. You are my family. Come hereโHugging them, pushing the mellow crap aside, I watched as they both ran to the house. My eyes strayed to Nicoleโs bedroom window.Apart from the light white curtains fluttering in the wind, she wasnโt there and fuck after what happened last night maybe this was for the best.I needed space to clear my fucking hea
NICOLEFRIENDS.The type of friends I had back then were the type to dunk a bottle of gin down your throat all in the spirit of Yolo. The type that encouraged you to strip naked at a music concert full of horny men that were definitely carrying chlamydia more than half of the people in the planet.And the type that thought doing vandalizing public property in the spirit of having fun meant being cool, meant showing off to the world that you were rich enough to get away with some of the most illegal shit in Miami.The type of friends gracing my ecru Millesimo seats however were so different. More like mother gathering at a boring book club and donโt get me wrong I enjoyed their company. Wine and dining? That I fucking loved. However, their questionsโฆโOr that special perfume I see on my Tv, do you use that? Though it might be debatable that men actually fall for that stuff but Iโm ready to try anything at this point. So, Nicole whatโs your secret?โ curiosity etched in Joeyโs eyes and I
CASSANDRA BATESTHREE WEEKS OF INCONSISTENT NAGGING.I was so mad at him, I wanted to kick him in the shins for everything. But hurting him was hurting myself too and I wasnโt prepared for that.The first week Kade had made it clear no woman of his was staying in a walk-in closet carrying his kid and so heโd rented a luxurious penthouse for me.I took it under the one condition I would be paying rent monthly. That was my first mistake, assuming he would even take my money after the lustful and apologetic look he gave me when he left me in my new apartment.The second week was even more stressful. With him showing up at my apartment door with breakfast and baby necessities I didnโt require yet.The third weekโฆIcarus woke up and I had been beyond thrilled knowing I hadnโt somewhat killed him. I visited him everyday and everyday Kade Hawkins was there, waiting for me with a grin and donuts and healthy drinks I hadnโt asked for and I rejected them.Rejected him. Not missing the pained ex
LUCIA AMATOTHEY said when your turn to die came, you could feel it in your bones. Feel it in the way you faded into nothingness not knowing what was beyond death.When that bullet had hit me, somehow that feeling had latched onto me. The feeling of welcoming death and saying goodbye to everything.Yet when I opened my eyes, light stinging my eyes with a vengeance, the last person I expected to see was the love of my life glancing down at me like an answered prayer.โHey, princessโ The smile he wore was enough to tell me everything was okay. I wasnโt dead. We werenโt separated, everything was going to be okay yetโฆMy hand searched for my tummy, the IV needle injected to my hand hurting far worse than a bee sting.โHey, hey, heโs fine. The babyโs fineโI didnโt realize there were tears in my eyes up until he said that.And when the first tear fell down my cheeks and the rest came crushing like hail, my throat throbbed as I whispered โSorryโ over and over again.I jumped in front of hi
KADE HAWKINS/ CONNORTHERE WAS only so much shit a man like me could take before he went berserk.I was on the verge of losing the one man who I would call my brother. The one man who was more of family to me than anyone else in this shitty world.On the same fucking day, the woman I would have gone to war for dumped my sorry ass. Regretfully telling me she was done with meโฆfor good.And that shit, her tears, her words ate me up, nothing bloody made sense anymore.โShe needs a minuteโ, my brother from another father quipped beside me not knowing the hell I was going through, the sting that was Cassieโs words and the gnawing fact that I had hurt her and I hadnโt apologized to her yet.โSheโs done with meโ, I muttered and we stood in foreboding silence looking at the theatre doors where Iceโs surgery was still going on.โGood because her handing your ass is your wake-up call to chase after her and earn her forgivenessโ, Jr continued, I still couldnโt understand why they all stayed.Jaso
CASSANDRA BATESEVERYTHING HURT.Physically, emotionally, mentally, I wasnโt doing okay even as the doc assessed me for the hundredth time in the night.Seating at the edge of the bed, trying to piece everything together, I was on the verge of insanity and knowing that Icarus was somewhere in this massive hospital trying to hold onto dear life because of me devastated the hell out of me.The doc offered me a wan smile, all I could do was pretend that I wasnโt going mad when the truth of the matter was, I was. Indeed, going mad.โEverything looks fine, Ms. Bates given your umโฆearlier predicament. A few scratches here and there, nothing major enough to affect the baby. I would recommend a few ointments for the-โI had already tuned him out the minute I heard a word I didnโt think would ever be directed at me.Reality came crushing in and with it so was confusion and happiness and anxiety and everything a person like me whoโd just been kidnapped and slapped with a dose of heartbreak coul
ICARUS โICEโ HAWKINSEIGHT YEARS AGO, I WAS THE SAME fucking schmuck working for Lucas Hawkins. A scrawny kid with a maid for a mother, no father, no money, no fucking worth to anybody.And hell, I would have been the same loser all my life after mumsy died of typhoid or some shit of the sort had it not been for HIM.KADE FUCKING HAWKINS. MY GODDAMN SAVIOR. My partner in crime. My brother.The same bossโ son who thought we were equals. The same kid who had everything I never had and hated it.Money. A powerful father. Power. He had it all and the fucking kid hated every inch of it.I envied him. All my eighteen years of being his best friend and I envied everything he had. But apart from envy? I looked up to him. He might have been a sour pussy, hell a pain in the ass but the kid had his heart in the right place, had that urge to do what needed to be done to get ahead in life and I respected that because I wanted it too.And when the kid got his first dose of power, I straight up jump
CASSANDRA BATESโW-WHAT?โA pulsating headache threatened to split my head apart as I winced.I moved my handโฆat least tried to anyway because my hand felt numb. Both my hands felt numb and any tiny movement made something rattle against my body.Prior memories of what happened came to my mind all at once upping the headache even further.I was crying, damn it after what had happened with Lucia, Kade and Jace, I had ended up like some hobo on the street crying thenโฆthenโฆMy eyes shot open and like someone had knocked my head with a bat, everything came back biting me in the ass.The unwelcomed light ate my eyes without mercy but thatโs not what made my heart pulsate madly in my chest.It was everything in my surroundings, it was in the way, my hands, my legsโฆI was tied up!I was tied up!What was this placeโฆhowโฆoh God what wasโฆI sat in the middle of the largest warehouse Iโd ever seen and I would have been at ease if there were other thigs in here but noโฆit was me alone in a creepy p
JACE `JR` ASHER/ TRIGGERLEFT, RIGHT, FRONT, THE beeping machines haunted me. I hadnโt slept a fucking wink not that it had mattered because the fucking doctors took their time in there.Four hours and counting, theyโd completed the surgery but none of them geeky fucks had showed their asses to explain what was going on.How was she?How was my kid?โHow are you holding up?โ Ontario shot me a passive look and I shot him an equally tired one.Everyone was here but, in all honesty, I felt alone. I felt helpless and most of all I felt like someone had gutted me and yanked my entrails from my body.The chief, Flames, had brought every goddamn man in B&A to console my ass but heโd avoided me entirely and I had a good hunch it was because of the one man no one talked about.My bloody fucking asshole of a brother.The one whoโd escaped his grave and unleashed hell on me.I didnโt answer. Ontario lay his arm across my shoulder.โYou should have never fallen in love, buddy. Christ, you look wo
CONNOR/ KADE HAWKINSTHE WINSTON BLUE DIAMOND ring THE SIZE OF MY HEAD stared back at me and I could only stare back at it nursing a whole lot of emotions that wracked and unnerved me.I breathed but I wasnโt really breathing.I tried to think but every ticking moment went to what happened yesterday.Stupid. Fucking stupid.Why hadnโt I realized, why hadnโt IโJr was alive! They all were and I hadnโt searched enough, hadnโt spent every last dime of daddyโs money to look for them.I had been stunned the minute the forty something year old man stared at me like he knew me while ironically aiming a rifle in my damn face.Then as if all the memories that had been caged in a tight little box had been unleashed, I remembered him.Remembered him with my father.Remembered him carrying me in his shoulders telling meโฆtelling me to call him Uncle Jay.And thatโs what I remembered; he was Uncle Jay. The cool uncle. The one who pissed my fathโCallan most of the times.And the man who peeked at me
JACE โJRโ ASHER/TRIGGERโJ-Jace, THE BABYโโT-the babyโHer blood oozed from that spot on her chest I was trying so hard to apply fucking pressure on.Her eyes were dimming and there was nothing I could do as I held her, my hands trying their best to incorporate every single fucking thing I had learnt from B&A about handling a situation like this.โStay with me, princess. Okay? S-stay with meโMy voice croaked; my heart pumped so hard I could hear the blood thrum in my ears with an uproar.She was making it. She was going to make it. The baby was going to make it.She had to. They fucking had to.My hands were bloody, covered with her life, covered with my mistakes, when she opened her lips to speak, I saw life ebb out of her the same way my mother and fatherโs screams had assaulted my ears as fire took them away from me.โLuce? Lucia? Come on, baby. Donโt, donโt do this. DonโtโโAnd when my eyes couldnโt see shit, every noise I had tuned out since Luciaโs body went limp in my arms ca