CANNONWEDDINGS, I fucking hated them.They all fucking reminded me of the asshole I had of a father and the pathetic woman my mother had been in failing to stand up to her husband.What I fucking hated even more at the moment was everything in front of my eyes.Dumb as fuck snobs.So much pink that it made me almost barf and flowers that did nothing but clog my nostrils.What stung the most was the man standing at the altar grim as ever and nervous as fuck. I’d never wanted to be a groom. Fuck, I’d never thought of marriage let alone having a girlfriend but at this very moment I wanted to shoot Lucas fucking Hawkins in the head and take his place.I couldn’t though I had the chance to.Seated in the midst of the guests waiting for the bride to arrive, I took a fucking breath. Coming here was stupid and yet for some stupid reason my heart insisted on staying.She was not going to say no to marrying Lucas Hawkins. This wasn’t some shit telenovela about love because I wasn’t in love and
CANNONSIX YEARS LATER“COME IN. TEN fucking four, what’s your stats?”The inobtrusive buzz sounded in the comms and I fucking went nuts.If Jason fucking Bates died in this humid and stifling country, I’d unearth him and kill him for a second time.My comm uselessly tucked in my ear, I called again for any sign of life, my rifle pointed towards the warehouse couple miles away.Shit in Mexico hit the fan, the minute I realized that my target was no more than a rogue terrorist gang taking immigrants as hostages. Whilst I couldn’t call my old boss, I had resorted to asking for help from the three most annoying fuckers I hadn’t seen in years.Jason Bates.Fucking Blaze.And stuck up in the ass, Holy.“Cannon?” Holy’s voice came with a pitch and I hissed.“Jason went in. Motherfucker hasn’t said a word since”“I know. Blaze’s comms is dead. Seems like they knew we were coming; they’ve got jammers all over the place”“Your computers able to fix that or what? I need eyes and where I am, I c
NICOLEHEART in my mouth, drained physically and mentally, I held onto my two sons.Lucas’ words rang in my mind like a sick twisted broken record. One that hit a delicate spot in my body, tearing me up from the inside.“I’m letting you be free, Nix”, he’d said and in a moment of weakness, I had believed him.Only you know what being free meant?Freedom meant Lucas sending his goons to kill me at the airport.Freedom meant me fighting nook and cranny for my boys’ lives.All the bullshit things that had happened to me were my fault.All the bruises inflicted on me by Luke and his brutal men were on me and I fucking deserved it.I was the woman who had cried wolf, ran into the hands of the angel I didn’t know in a bid to escape the devil I knew. The devil who was my boys’ real father.Lucas Hawkins had turned into the behemoth I hadn’t seen coming, the minute Jr and Connor turned two, something sinister grew in him.Suddenly our boys weren’t his. Suddenly the love he’d showed our boys t
CANNONSTITCHED UP KNIFE WOUNDS, bullet holes were fucking child’s play compared to the shit that unfolded in front of my eyes.And this one, motherfucking damn it, hurt as hell.I had a kid. Jesus Christ, I had two. Two boys that looked like shit because their pussy as fuck mother couldn’t tell me about them.She’d tried to run.Like a fucking pussy, she’d tried to run and for the fuck of it, I was ready to shoot. I was ready to shoot her brains the minute my two kids called her their mother.One of them looked like me while the other had inherited her caramel hair. Fuck!Whipping out my cell, I made a call angry as fuck at the turn of events.He answered on the first ring.“I don’t care whether she’s your responsibility or not. We land, I’m taking out my shit on her”“By killing her?” Berkely countered and the thought of it didn’t sound too bad.It didn’t matter whether she was the mother of my kids. Falling for those gravy-like eyes and an angelic face was way past my MO.She was st
NICOLEI WANT MY KIDS.Three words that alarmed me beyond words. Our boys sleeping on my lap, my eyes glossy I searched for his gaze in the narrow front view mirror.“You can’t take them away from me. They are my kids”“You put them in danger!” his voice sounded like metal being scraped against another metal. Terrifying and so true and I hated myself at that moment.“I did what I had to do to keep them safe”“What’s that supposed to mean?”I would fight for my boys. Even if it meant going against the man, I thought of every damn second of the day.“They’ll never forgive you if you take them away from me”, I almost resorted to tears knowing damn well if Cannon filed for custody I would be separated from my kids.I’d spent time with Luke’s lawyers to know enough about what was ethical and not ethical.Case scenario, not telling Callan about his kids. My kids going hungry for two days because I fell into a trap. Let’s not forget the injuries on them. Everything aforementioned being like a
CANNONCANNON JUNIORS, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THATPindrop whispered and for the most part of it, I ignored the fucker.My associates wouldn’t know what this felt like it even if it hit them like an IED blast from a ten-foot radius. My boys lay on the bed in the witness room and the fucking sight in front of me was enough to wish that they stayed in my home forever. That they lived with me for an eternity, heaven be damned.Too scared to even touch them, my large as fuck hands leant at the edge of the bed. Tainted, scarred, I didn’t want to pass my sins to them.I didn’t want the ink that tainted my damn life to taint theirs. I was their father but at the same time I was a God damn soldier who had more blood on his hands than a murder weapon. And for the first time in my life, I was fucking prepared to leave the rogue life behind me.No more guns.No more missions.And no more motherfucking bodyguarding.Living in a cute suburban house with a white picket fence surrounding me sounded as bo
NICOLEHETEROPATERNAL SUPERFECUNDATION, that's what the doc had explained and upto now I still couldn't grasp anything.Old me would have laughed at my situation, at the odds of my life turning into the telenovela I used to watch on Telemundo.New me however was terrified to the core. Lucas was Connor's father and he knew about it and he wanted us back. The thought of going back to him irked me worse than drinking pickle juice.My hands brushed Connor's hair while Jr snored to my left. How did things go so downhill?How did my life end up like this? And my sons. God knew things had changed so drastically.Lucas was a monster and I'd be a fool if I let him get close to Connor or Jr for that matter.The car we were in moved at a slow pace and I watched the trees swing at a carefree tempo and at the moment I envied that.I envied the freedom the barks of wood had. Swinging with the breeze, doing whatever the fuck they wanted.But this was freedom right? What I had at the moment was freed
CANNON“This is you starting a normal life with your woman and your kids beside you. Enjoy you fucking retirement Asher don’t whine at everything like Jason does”Jason was a whiny pussy, everyone knew that and although I had sworn, I wouldn’t fall in that category, shit around me was making no fucking sense.“I hate people, you fucking know that”“Don’t we all? But for the first time, soldier, shit ain’t about you only. They have to lead normal lives. Blend in with people if you want them to survive from the fucker that’s after them”Berkely’s translation for, the limp dick who thought he would survive if he tried to take me on.Lucas Hawkins wasn’t a shark in my world, he was a mere tad pole growing his skin and I would kill him any day if he tried to come close to me and my family.“I’ll kill him before he does so”, I roared my grip on the phone hard enough to break it.“Hey that’s our job. Your job is to be there for them, now for safety precautions lose the number Cannon”“How su
CASSANDRA BATESTHREE WEEKS OF INCONSISTENT NAGGING.I was so mad at him, I wanted to kick him in the shins for everything. But hurting him was hurting myself too and I wasn’t prepared for that.The first week Kade had made it clear no woman of his was staying in a walk-in closet carrying his kid and so he’d rented a luxurious penthouse for me.I took it under the one condition I would be paying rent monthly. That was my first mistake, assuming he would even take my money after the lustful and apologetic look he gave me when he left me in my new apartment.The second week was even more stressful. With him showing up at my apartment door with breakfast and baby necessities I didn’t require yet.The third week…Icarus woke up and I had been beyond thrilled knowing I hadn’t somewhat killed him. I visited him everyday and everyday Kade Hawkins was there, waiting for me with a grin and donuts and healthy drinks I hadn’t asked for and I rejected them.Rejected him. Not missing the pained ex
LUCIA AMATOTHEY said when your turn to die came, you could feel it in your bones. Feel it in the way you faded into nothingness not knowing what was beyond death.When that bullet had hit me, somehow that feeling had latched onto me. The feeling of welcoming death and saying goodbye to everything.Yet when I opened my eyes, light stinging my eyes with a vengeance, the last person I expected to see was the love of my life glancing down at me like an answered prayer.“Hey, princess” The smile he wore was enough to tell me everything was okay. I wasn’t dead. We weren’t separated, everything was going to be okay yet…My hand searched for my tummy, the IV needle injected to my hand hurting far worse than a bee sting.“Hey, hey, he’s fine. The baby’s fine”I didn’t realize there were tears in my eyes up until he said that.And when the first tear fell down my cheeks and the rest came crushing like hail, my throat throbbed as I whispered “Sorry” over and over again.I jumped in front of hi
KADE HAWKINS/ CONNORTHERE WAS only so much shit a man like me could take before he went berserk.I was on the verge of losing the one man who I would call my brother. The one man who was more of family to me than anyone else in this shitty world.On the same fucking day, the woman I would have gone to war for dumped my sorry ass. Regretfully telling me she was done with me…for good.And that shit, her tears, her words ate me up, nothing bloody made sense anymore.“She needs a minute”, my brother from another father quipped beside me not knowing the hell I was going through, the sting that was Cassie’s words and the gnawing fact that I had hurt her and I hadn’t apologized to her yet.“She’s done with me”, I muttered and we stood in foreboding silence looking at the theatre doors where Ice’s surgery was still going on.“Good because her handing your ass is your wake-up call to chase after her and earn her forgiveness”, Jr continued, I still couldn’t understand why they all stayed.Jaso
CASSANDRA BATESEVERYTHING HURT.Physically, emotionally, mentally, I wasn’t doing okay even as the doc assessed me for the hundredth time in the night.Seating at the edge of the bed, trying to piece everything together, I was on the verge of insanity and knowing that Icarus was somewhere in this massive hospital trying to hold onto dear life because of me devastated the hell out of me.The doc offered me a wan smile, all I could do was pretend that I wasn’t going mad when the truth of the matter was, I was. Indeed, going mad.“Everything looks fine, Ms. Bates given your um…earlier predicament. A few scratches here and there, nothing major enough to affect the baby. I would recommend a few ointments for the-“I had already tuned him out the minute I heard a word I didn’t think would ever be directed at me.Reality came crushing in and with it so was confusion and happiness and anxiety and everything a person like me who’d just been kidnapped and slapped with a dose of heartbreak coul
ICARUS ‘ICE’ HAWKINSEIGHT YEARS AGO, I WAS THE SAME fucking schmuck working for Lucas Hawkins. A scrawny kid with a maid for a mother, no father, no money, no fucking worth to anybody.And hell, I would have been the same loser all my life after mumsy died of typhoid or some shit of the sort had it not been for HIM.KADE FUCKING HAWKINS. MY GODDAMN SAVIOR. My partner in crime. My brother.The same boss’ son who thought we were equals. The same kid who had everything I never had and hated it.Money. A powerful father. Power. He had it all and the fucking kid hated every inch of it.I envied him. All my eighteen years of being his best friend and I envied everything he had. But apart from envy? I looked up to him. He might have been a sour pussy, hell a pain in the ass but the kid had his heart in the right place, had that urge to do what needed to be done to get ahead in life and I respected that because I wanted it too.And when the kid got his first dose of power, I straight up jump
CASSANDRA BATES“W-WHAT?”A pulsating headache threatened to split my head apart as I winced.I moved my hand…at least tried to anyway because my hand felt numb. Both my hands felt numb and any tiny movement made something rattle against my body.Prior memories of what happened came to my mind all at once upping the headache even further.I was crying, damn it after what had happened with Lucia, Kade and Jace, I had ended up like some hobo on the street crying then…then…My eyes shot open and like someone had knocked my head with a bat, everything came back biting me in the ass.The unwelcomed light ate my eyes without mercy but that’s not what made my heart pulsate madly in my chest.It was everything in my surroundings, it was in the way, my hands, my legs…I was tied up!I was tied up!What was this place…how…oh God what was…I sat in the middle of the largest warehouse I’d ever seen and I would have been at ease if there were other thigs in here but no…it was me alone in a creepy p
JACE `JR` ASHER/ TRIGGERLEFT, RIGHT, FRONT, THE beeping machines haunted me. I hadn’t slept a fucking wink not that it had mattered because the fucking doctors took their time in there.Four hours and counting, they’d completed the surgery but none of them geeky fucks had showed their asses to explain what was going on.How was she?How was my kid?“How are you holding up?” Ontario shot me a passive look and I shot him an equally tired one.Everyone was here but, in all honesty, I felt alone. I felt helpless and most of all I felt like someone had gutted me and yanked my entrails from my body.The chief, Flames, had brought every goddamn man in B&A to console my ass but he’d avoided me entirely and I had a good hunch it was because of the one man no one talked about.My bloody fucking asshole of a brother.The one who’d escaped his grave and unleashed hell on me.I didn’t answer. Ontario lay his arm across my shoulder.“You should have never fallen in love, buddy. Christ, you look wo
CONNOR/ KADE HAWKINSTHE WINSTON BLUE DIAMOND ring THE SIZE OF MY HEAD stared back at me and I could only stare back at it nursing a whole lot of emotions that wracked and unnerved me.I breathed but I wasn’t really breathing.I tried to think but every ticking moment went to what happened yesterday.Stupid. Fucking stupid.Why hadn’t I realized, why hadn’t I—Jr was alive! They all were and I hadn’t searched enough, hadn’t spent every last dime of daddy’s money to look for them.I had been stunned the minute the forty something year old man stared at me like he knew me while ironically aiming a rifle in my damn face.Then as if all the memories that had been caged in a tight little box had been unleashed, I remembered him.Remembered him with my father.Remembered him carrying me in his shoulders telling me…telling me to call him Uncle Jay.And that’s what I remembered; he was Uncle Jay. The cool uncle. The one who pissed my fath—Callan most of the times.And the man who peeked at me
JACE ‘JR’ ASHER/TRIGGER“J-Jace, THE BABY”“T-the baby”Her blood oozed from that spot on her chest I was trying so hard to apply fucking pressure on.Her eyes were dimming and there was nothing I could do as I held her, my hands trying their best to incorporate every single fucking thing I had learnt from B&A about handling a situation like this.“Stay with me, princess. Okay? S-stay with me”My voice croaked; my heart pumped so hard I could hear the blood thrum in my ears with an uproar.She was making it. She was going to make it. The baby was going to make it.She had to. They fucking had to.My hands were bloody, covered with her life, covered with my mistakes, when she opened her lips to speak, I saw life ebb out of her the same way my mother and father’s screams had assaulted my ears as fire took them away from me.“Luce? Lucia? Come on, baby. Don’t, don’t do this. Don’t—”And when my eyes couldn’t see shit, every noise I had tuned out since Lucia’s body went limp in my arms ca