“Noah,” I say out loud trying his name out, liking the way it sounds. I smile to myself. Star is still purring. “Okay miss thing, you stop that right now. Your emotions are effecting me.” “I can’t help it. I feed off yours as well,” she replies. Damn, I need a very cold shower right frikken now. I jump in trying to numb myself to everything that just happened. All of it.
He’s right, I put myself into these situations. I should just leave, I don’t want to hurt anyone or do anything wrong. “You can’t leave Akira, you thinking that way, that it’s wrong and you want to do better is already a step in the right direction. You heard Noah, he wants to help us. He’s here for you, he cares.” “Stop saying that Star, he may be attracted to me but that doesn’t mean he cares, trust me I’ve had a lot of experiences with guys and those two things don’t always go together,” I try to explain to her. “It’s different with wolves,” she says, “You remember the couple, they were mates. Wolves have bonds that are stronger than any thing in the world Akira, we can have that.” She’s getting way too excited. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble there kid but if Noah was our mate don’t you think we’d know that? Plus I’m a turned wolf I don’t think it works the same.” I exit the shower realizing I seriously need to do laundry. I make a mental note to ask how that’s done. I spy the books on my counter and head for those. “Also Star, whether I’m attracted or not, I’m just not ready for that, I’m sorry.” I hope she understands. “Of course I understand Akira, I’ll never make you don’t anything you don’t want to do.” I feel so much love in my heart, Star is pouring it all in, I feel full. I could almost cry. “Thank you,” I whisper out loud. I look through the titles of the books while I bring the over to bed. I’m mentally too exhausted to read but I’m interested to know what they’re about and clearly have the rest of the day to spend here learning from these books. Transitioning, Pack Laws 101 and Tales of the Moon Goddess. The last one seems too interesting not to flip through. At first glance, it just seems like a children’s book with poetic tales about how the Moon Goddess became and how she gifted important guardians wolves to rule their lands peacefully. I read about the gift of mates and I was instantly stung with hurt. I won’t be gifted a mate, I thought, “You don’t know that Akira, they know little of our kind. We’re not supposed to exist. We are the fairytale come to life, we’re the exception to the rule. We’re special.” I know she’s trying to console me but it hits another nerve. “Special Star really? I got people killed, I killed people. More than he knows, more than I admitted to him. I’m not special, I’m a kil-“ she stops me there. “SURVIVOR” she roars. I felt it through my chest. I hurt her. “I’m sorry, I never meant anything ill towards you,” I try to explain. “Speaking bad about yourself is the same thing Akira. We are bonded, connected as one entity.” I understand, but I just couldn’t talk about it anymore. I made some food from my kitchen, putting random things together, luckily for me I was a great cook in my human life. I went back to reading wanting to know everything I could. I fell asleep reading about the Moon Goddess and my dream felt like I was floating in the air. I was in wolf form running through the forest, wild and free. The moon light is shining through the trees and I can see a clearing up ahead. I run for it and make it there in a blink of speed, the moon was beaming and reflecting right off my fur. I’m up on a hill and can see my reflection in the water below, I’m shining like a star beneath the moon. The energy in the air, in me, is electric. I howl and the stars in the sky brighten in response, but then I see it. Those red glowing eyes growing closer and closer. I’m frozen and can’t move. The wolf is huge, grey with one black leg and four black paws and patches of fur missing. One ear is cut off but those eyes still have all my attention. He’s so close and I start to scream.I wake up screaming my lungs out. Ang walks in glaring at me. “Are you going to scream every night and wake up the Alpha every time? You’re really making me look bad here Akira.” He looks down at the book on my lap as catch my breath. “The Moon Goddess? You read about the Moon Goddess and you’re screaming your head off still? You seriously have some prob-“, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Ang,” I cut him off before he could go on and trigger my anger more. “Ang?” He questions. “Yeah stands for Asshole Night Guard,” I say as I make my way over to the sink to grab my water and chug it down. He’s weirdly silent after my explanation of his new name so I turn around to realize he’s not there and it’s Noah in his place. I freeze for a second, trying not to make it obvious, I blurt out, “Good morning Noah,” he tilts his head at the sound of his name. “Akira” he tch’s his tongue again, I may be starting to like that too, I feel like it means I’m in trouble and it gives me a thrill. “Is
“That reminds me, I told you my name, now you have to share what your wolf has been saying about me.” I can hear his smile without even looking at him. I turn to sit on the bed and lean back onto my hands. “I said she was commenting, I never said she was saying anything about you specifically, ”I lift my eye brow mimicking him. He’s staring at me, but he crosses his arms and leans back against the counter. Waiting. “Tell him” Star says, encouraging me. “Nothings happening Star calm down it’s just shameless flirting.” She huffs, “Very shameless considering your attire.” Ouch. “It was said with love,” she adds. She clearly thinks she’s funny. “What’s she saying now?” He asks. I sigh, and he tch’s his tongue. I smile and notice he’s trying to hide his. “What do you want Noah?” I ask, pausing purposely. Then add, “Would you like to know what she said then, or what she’s saying now?” I ask as I pretend to pluck something off my bra causing his eyes to drift. “Your good,” Star comments,
I rush to get ready, knowing Jack will be here for 6 a.m. on the dot. I’m incredibly nervous after what happened yesterday; they all saw it. I open the door at 6 a.m. and go to walk out and find Jack about to knock. He just glares at me for a moment, then turns and starts walking towards the forest, expecting me to follow. He doesn’t say a word the entire walk to the clearing. Once there, the day goes by exactly how the last training session went, with a couple of different instructions from Jack, but that’s it. He speaks as little as possible. I understand; people are afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid of the unknown. “You will learn, you will succeed, and you will survive.” Star states it as fact. I am strong. I am smart. And I will survive. I repeat my own mantra. On the way back, Jack speaks up as we’re almost back at the cabin, “You’re not trusted here.” He states it as a fact. I sigh, “I know Jack,” I reply. I go to walk into my cabin and hear him whisper quietly, threatening, “I
I was brought into the Alphas office by his Beta and some other pack members, immediately I was stunned at not only how young he looked but how familiar. I’m not sure where I’ve seen him from, but it must be from my past life. He stares at me, hard. It seems as though he’s upset, but I’m not sure. “Who are you and state your business on our pack grounds” he says, not asking. “My name is Akira, and I would like to join your pack”, I kept my head held high, hoping he sees strength instead of desperation. The room grows quiet for far too long. I can see him sniff the air, “Not a rouge… what pack are you from?” he asks. Here we go.. “I’ve never been a part of a pack actually,” I hesitate to continue but decide honesty right now is my best option, “I was never born a wolf, I was turned.” There it was. I knew I was different but the faces of everyone in this room grew cold and confused. Assessing me as a threat I assume, because I’m as unknown to them as they were to me. Understandable.
I stare at him and decide I better just start talking, I need a pack. I can’t survive like this on my own, that much has been proven. “I was on my way home from a shift at the bar I worked at, not exactly in a great area but money is money right…. And well some drunk guy came up to me… I turned him down and of course he didn’t like that at all.” I said watching his reactions but he had absolutely none. He just sat there waiting. So I went on. “He was so strong. I couldn’t do anything, all the fight I had did nothing to him. He brought me to the back through the forested area and…” this was the hard part to say, “He took what he wanted from me and well, all I remember next was pain, so much pain I turned numb. I was alone in a forest beaten, bloody and dying.” He still just stared, no emotion. So I did the same. “And then”, he finally said. I didn’t want to continue, but if I had any chance of joining this pack I had to. The fear of what happened at the last pack was burning in my ch
I stared at him for a long moment, because my stubbornness from my human life seemed to transfer over into this one. “He wanted to run tests on me, see what I truly was.” Half of the truth but should be enough, I hoped. “So he took me prisoner instead and killed the couple that helped me, using the excuse that I was an enemy and that they gave me inside information. Which they didn’t. And I am not.” I said with so much anger. He stared at me but his eyes flashed down then back up. “Retract your claws Akira”, I looked down, sure enough I was digging my claws into the arms of the chair I was sitting on. I retracted them and went on with the story after I took a deep breath. “I escaped and ended up in your territory a month later. Your pack members caught me at your border and brought your Beta to me. Obviously you decided this interrogation wasn’t optional and I was brought here after trying to explain I am not a threat.” I lifted one eye brow to him. “Is that enough for you Alpha?” I
It was small, cabin like, just one big room with four walls, and a bathroom off to the side - absolutely no complaints from me. I have a bed, a small kitchen set up and a dresser for the five pieces of clothing I happened to have in my bag, which thankfully they gave back after obviously searching through it. I was so wired that I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, then there was a knock at my door before it opened up and a random girl walked in holding papers and a serious scowl on her face. “This is your contract, and these are some clothes from our donation pile.” She threw a bag down I didn’t notice she had and then walked out. Clearly I wasn’t making friends here but I do not care. I don’t need friends, I need information. I picked up the contract immediately and looked it over. To summarize, it included a schedule that I couldn’t defer from or it would be seen as treason, I’d have some one always with me escorting me everywhere I go and if I am seen alone it will constitute as
I woke up screaming, red eyes burned into my mind plaguing my dreams, it felt so real like I was being torn apart all over again, bite after bite after bite, I felt it all over again. I couldn’t stop screaming seeing red eyes even with mine open. The door flew open and a man ran in ready to fight. He stopped when he saw me in bed, quickly assessing the situation. He checked the bathroom then walked back to me, clearly annoyed. “What the fuck Akira, I thought someone was killing you?!” The guy yelled throwing his hands up questioning me. “Someone was,” I muttered, rubbing a hand down my face. I threw the sheet off and got out of bed, glancing at the alarm clock as I walked to the kitchen, 4:36am. Great I could have slept for 24 more mintutes, too bad. I grabbed a glass of water and chugged it and heard the guy breathe “holy shit” then turned around realizing he was checking me out. Not checking me out in the ogling kind of way, he was staring at all my scars. I have claw marks, bite
I rush to get ready, knowing Jack will be here for 6 a.m. on the dot. I’m incredibly nervous after what happened yesterday; they all saw it. I open the door at 6 a.m. and go to walk out and find Jack about to knock. He just glares at me for a moment, then turns and starts walking towards the forest, expecting me to follow. He doesn’t say a word the entire walk to the clearing. Once there, the day goes by exactly how the last training session went, with a couple of different instructions from Jack, but that’s it. He speaks as little as possible. I understand; people are afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid of the unknown. “You will learn, you will succeed, and you will survive.” Star states it as fact. I am strong. I am smart. And I will survive. I repeat my own mantra. On the way back, Jack speaks up as we’re almost back at the cabin, “You’re not trusted here.” He states it as a fact. I sigh, “I know Jack,” I reply. I go to walk into my cabin and hear him whisper quietly, threatening, “I
“That reminds me, I told you my name, now you have to share what your wolf has been saying about me.” I can hear his smile without even looking at him. I turn to sit on the bed and lean back onto my hands. “I said she was commenting, I never said she was saying anything about you specifically, ”I lift my eye brow mimicking him. He’s staring at me, but he crosses his arms and leans back against the counter. Waiting. “Tell him” Star says, encouraging me. “Nothings happening Star calm down it’s just shameless flirting.” She huffs, “Very shameless considering your attire.” Ouch. “It was said with love,” she adds. She clearly thinks she’s funny. “What’s she saying now?” He asks. I sigh, and he tch’s his tongue. I smile and notice he’s trying to hide his. “What do you want Noah?” I ask, pausing purposely. Then add, “Would you like to know what she said then, or what she’s saying now?” I ask as I pretend to pluck something off my bra causing his eyes to drift. “Your good,” Star comments,
I wake up screaming my lungs out. Ang walks in glaring at me. “Are you going to scream every night and wake up the Alpha every time? You’re really making me look bad here Akira.” He looks down at the book on my lap as catch my breath. “The Moon Goddess? You read about the Moon Goddess and you’re screaming your head off still? You seriously have some prob-“, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Ang,” I cut him off before he could go on and trigger my anger more. “Ang?” He questions. “Yeah stands for Asshole Night Guard,” I say as I make my way over to the sink to grab my water and chug it down. He’s weirdly silent after my explanation of his new name so I turn around to realize he’s not there and it’s Noah in his place. I freeze for a second, trying not to make it obvious, I blurt out, “Good morning Noah,” he tilts his head at the sound of his name. “Akira” he tch’s his tongue again, I may be starting to like that too, I feel like it means I’m in trouble and it gives me a thrill. “Is
“Noah,” I say out loud trying his name out, liking the way it sounds. I smile to myself. Star is still purring. “Okay miss thing, you stop that right now. Your emotions are effecting me.” “I can’t help it. I feed off yours as well,” she replies. Damn, I need a very cold shower right frikken now. I jump in trying to numb myself to everything that just happened. All of it. He’s right, I put myself into these situations. I should just leave, I don’t want to hurt anyone or do anything wrong. “You can’t leave Akira, you thinking that way, that it’s wrong and you want to do better is already a step in the right direction. You heard Noah, he wants to help us. He’s here for you, he cares.” “Stop saying that Star, he may be attracted to me but that doesn’t mean he cares, trust me I’ve had a lot of experiences with guys and those two things don’t always go together,” I try to explain to her. “It’s different with wolves,” she says, “You remember the couple, they were mates. Wolves have bonds t
“How are you so calm and patient with me? And before you ask no I’m not reading your feelings, just your actions. And I’m also very observant,” I point out. He turns to look at me and we’re basically face to face but I’m still shorter and have to angle my head upwards to look at him. He stares for a moment, tracing my whole face with those deep eyes. “You’re terrified and traumatized, and it’s completely valid. You’ve been through so much in such little time,” he turns away. He speaks after a long minute “I can remember my first shift and that shit was horrible. I was scared and it was incredibly painful, but I also was born into this. I had all the information needed not to mention a family, friends, and a pack all there to help me through everything, every step of the way. I can’t even begin to imagine what this whole experience has been like for you.” I’m stunned. That was not what I was expecting. “See he does care,” Star says, “Oh shut up!” I reply, except that was out loud and
“I’m sorry,” I say “You’re probably right, it is all my fault. It’s my fault they’re dead. It’s my fault they’re all dead.” I close my eyes, tears flowing freely. “All dead?” He questions. “The couple, I don’t even know their names,” I choke out in sobs, “My mom,” I fall to my knees, “My mom died because I was gone and they couldn’t find me,” I don’t want to say the last one but I have to get it out. “My brother, when we fought, I saw red and next thing you know my claws slashed across his throat.” I’m crying so hard I can’t see. “I didn’t even know I had claws, he always used to hit me but I never hit back, but after he came at me this time I- I couldn’t help it, I went to hit back but it wasn’t my hand, it was claws.” He picked me up and he was…. He was hugging me. I felt comfort but it wasn’t enough to stop the sobbing. “You’re right to see me as a threat. You’re right to not want me here. I just wanted to learn what I am and be able to control it. I can’t let that happen again.
I only knew who they were by scent because I didn’t bother to look in their direction. That doesn’t stop me either though as I put my claws at his stomach and slowly dig in, “Maybe you’re the one who should watch the way you talk to a Turned wolf,” my claws slip deeper and deeper but he doesn’t so much as flex his abs. “Especially when you have no information on them,” he still doesn’t move an inch the whole time as I retract my claws and scape upwards a bit. I didn’t go too deep, he’ll heal in seconds from what I’ve learned from Star. He looks over to his pack members and his brows furrow again. His blood making a show of color on his white tshirt. I look over to his pack members as well and realize they’re stuck behind some type of invisible shield. I can’t hear them but I can see them banging on it like it’s a wall. His head snaps to mine and I back up eyes wide on him. I shake my head, so confused and the shield drops. Sound explodes with curses and then arms are on me pushing m
I woke up screaming once again and the same guy rushes in and sweeps the cabin just like last time. He puts his hands on his hips, “What the fuck Akira?” He yells at me. I run my hands through my hair and then glare at him, “It’s not like I can control it asshole,” I yell back at him, but my voice comes out hoarse with how dry and aching my throat is. I get up to grab some water and chug it then refill the glass and do it once more. I turn around and see him staring again. “You have some serious issues,” the asshole says, “What happened for you to be this messed up?” What a presumptuous prick, “Why don’t you take a wild guess?” I open my arms looking down at my body, hinting at what it might obviously be. My sleep wear leaving nothing to the imagination once again. I might as well get used to him seeing me half naked since he’s clearly on guard outside at this time every day. It’s 3:55am this time though and I’m ridiculously tired and horribly sore putting me in an even worse mood.
The man who’s training me came exactly at 6am on the dot. Good thing to remember, wolves are always on time. “It helps when you have one in your head reminding you of everything, also when your Alpha commands it, you have to do it,” Star adds. We walk through the forest and my anxiety immediately perks up. “You’re going to be okay Akira, I promise,” Star comforts me. “Thank you Star, but after what happened it’s hard to believe that,” I force myself to seem strong in the presence of this man. “So do I get to know your name or is that against the rules too?” I ask to distract myself. “Actually it is ,” he says, seemingly disinterested in holding a conversation. “Okaaaay,” I drag it out, “You look like a,” I look him over tapping my finger to my mouth, “Richard, but you know I’ll call you Dick for short because that’s a mouthful.” A dad joke, yes, but a girls gotta do something for entertainment. He gives absolutely no reaction. “No? Don’t like it? Okay fine, hmmm,” I tap my finger to