Ch. 1 Damaged

Olivia 

With a defeated sigh, I drop my towel in front of the full-length mirror and force myself to take in my pudgy form. I accepted long ago that I’d never have the svelte figure of most she-wolves. But on days like today, when I have to dress up and mingle with the rest of the pack, it’s a painful reminder of all the ways I’m different.

I’d held out hope that with the birth of my wolf I’d finally attain the figure of my dreams, that my wolf would heal my damaged heart and I could finally do all the things other wolves do to stay fit and trim. But that dream was just the sour cherry on top of the sundae of my life’s many bitter disappointments. My softer, rounder figure is here to stay, just one more thing that makes me stand out. And I really hate to stand out. 

It’s not that I can’t handle what people think of me. I’m used to the ridicule by now. It’s my family I really feel bad for. My parents are the pack’s Betas, powerful wolves who should have had strong heirs, not a daughter who’s weak as a kitten thanks to a heart defect almost unheard of in the wolf species. I’m the one stain on their otherwise stellar reputation. 

I try saving them from the embarrassing stares and whispers, skipping all major pack events whenever possible. Unfortunately, tonight is the Full Moon Party and attendance is mandatory for the entire pack. Even for damaged goods like me.

Resigned to my fate, I pull my favorite green dress off the rack. It’s my go-to when I absolutely have to get dressed up, cut perfectly to frame my curves. The color highlights my emerald green eyes and most importantly, it doesn’t clash with my fiery red hair. 

I wrangle my curls into an elegant chignon and dab on a bit of make-up. One more glance in the mirror and I decide it will have to do. No one expects perfection from me anyway. 

“Livvy! Over here!” Ellie spots me the second I enter the ballroom. I wave, then weave my way through the crowd to her. She’s my best friend, takes no crap from anyone, and is loyal to the core. She’s the only reason I can face the fiasco this is bound to be and I already feel lighter seeing her here. 

“I’ve been waiting for you!” She grabs my hand, pulling me back out the door I just came through, much to my confusion. “Let’s go!”

“Um, where are we going exactly?” 

“Kaden’s having his own party, one without parents.” She winks conspiratorially. “Way less stuffy and way more alcohol!” 

“Um, I don’t think-” 

“Don’t finish that sentence Olivia Cross!” She interrupts with a growl. “You think too much. We’re going and you’re going to have fun! End of story!”

“Your brother won’t want me there.” I try to keep the heartache out of my tone.

“My brother’s an idiot! You’re not allowed to care what he thinks, Liv.” Her lips curl up into a sad smile. “One of these days he’s going to regret being such an ass.” She adds, and that’s definitely pity in her tone. 

I’ve never had much of a poker face when it comes to my longing for her brother, Kaden, and his soon to be Beta, Declan Connor. I’ve loved them both since I was ten years old when they paid me in kisses for the  cookies I baked for them. But that was a long time ago, before they were old enough to understand how broken I am.

The days when they returned my affection are long gone. On the rare occasions they actually acknowledge I exist, it’s only to remind me how unworthy I am to breathe the same air. They say I’m damaged and weak, and no one will ever want me, least of all them.

“What are the two of you doing here?” Kaden barks, storming in our direction. His rosewood and amber scent reaches me before he does and I go weak in the knees, the same way I always do when he’s nearby. I stare at my shiny gold shoes so he can’t see the hearts in my eyes. 

“As your twin, I reserve the right to attend any and all parties hosted by you, with or without an invitation.” Ellie asserts with unwavering confidence. “If you disagree, I could always take the matter up with mom and dads. Of course, that would require informing them of these unsanctioned events in the first place.”

She smirks triumphantly at him while he scowls back at her. Then a sneer crosses his face as he tilts his head my direction, not even bothering to look at me, “What’s her excuse?” 

“I’m her excuse. She’s my best friend and is welcome anywhere I go. Geez, you’re such an ass sometimes.” She admonishes him in typical Ellie fashion. “Don’t you have something, or someone, better to do than harassing us?”

To my shock and awe, Kaden turns his gaze fully on me. He’s beautiful, his dark hair and smoldering dark eyes leaving me starstruck. My skin prickles with heat under his attention and a mortifying blush creeps up my neck. He’s looking at me with fire in his eyes, like he wants to devour me and my heart races frantically at the thought. 

But in the next breath, his lusty gaze morphs to something like disgust as the corner of his lip curls up, making it painfully clear he was just playing with me. “Whatever. I don’t see the point. It’s not like anyone else wants her here. But it’s not my problem. She’s your charity case.”

His words sting. More than they should considering I know to expect them by now. Stupidly enough, I still haven’t found a way to shield my tender heart from his venom. 

Just when I think the night can’t possibly get any worse, Declan joins our little group and I audibly gasp when I see him approach. Where Kaden is all dark features and hulking muscle, Declan is light, with blond hair and sparkling eyes a girl could drown in. He’s less bulky than Kaden but just as fit and mouth-wateringly handsome. 

Declan’s eyes twinkle with mirth, the strands of gold sparkling amongst the hazel and holding me entranced for a moment. His cedarwood and vanilIa scent is so distracting, I don’t even care that I’m the object of his amusement. And with his and Kaden’s scents combined, my knees fail me and I start to fall.

“Careful, rosebud!” Declan’s strong arms circle my waist, setting me back on my feet while I shiver at his use of the childhood nickname he gave me. 

“Thank you.” I manage despite the fire burning my cheeks and the overwhelming desire to run and hide.

I scurry away as fast as I can but I swear I feel his eyes boring into my back. All I want is to go home, curl up under my covers, shut out the world. But the Alphas and Luna expect me here so I hide in the bathroom instead.

To my surprise, Ellie leaves me alone to wallow. When she finally comes looking for me, I reluctantly abandon my refuge. But I should know better than to think the worst was over.

“So, are you going to tell us what lucky she-wolf you ditched us for all night?” Kaden is asking Declan just as we walk past their table. 

I slow my steps, hating myself for the sick need to hear his answer. One of the guys chimes in, an arrogant laugh in his tone “I bet he was making out with the Betas’ daughter and too ashamed to be seen with her. I noticed her missing too and I saw you earlier, holding her in your arms like she’s precious.” He pauses to make kissing noises. “Not that I blame you. She looks totally fuckable in that dress tonight. I’d do her.”

“You’d fuck anything, Justin.” Declan scoffs. “Some of us have standards. There is nothing remotely desirable about Olivia Cross. She’s useless and pathetic and I’d cut off my own dick before getting anywhere near her.”

A whimper escapes at his words before I can stop it. His head whips around at the sound and our eyes meet. He knows I heard him and I almost think I see regret in his eyes but I don’t stick around to analyze his expression. 

“Mates,” my wolf, Lady, whines sadly and the pain in her voice only amplifies my own. 

Did I forget to mention that Kaden Stone and Declan Connor, the future Alpha and Beta of Glass Lake, are my mates? To add insult to injury, I’ve known they were mine since I shifted early at fifteen, my only overachievement in life. Though it seems more of a punishment than anything.

Apparently my damaged heart isn’t my only defect because my scent hasn’t come in either, meaning my mates can’t detect our bond. Something about poor blood flow to my scent glands because of my feeble heart. Not that it really matters if my own mates can’t scent that I’m theirs. I’m damaged and weak and they’d never accept me anyway.

But I can’t help wondering why the Moon Goddess is doing this to me.