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21| It’s Official (pt. 2)
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Toxic Paradise 22| Surf’s Up (pt. 1)
"So, you feel better today now that we went to bed early last night?" Ryan asked as he took a bite of his bagel. We were both sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a simple breakfast of bagels and yogurt.I sipped my coffee. "Yeah, kind of. I actually didn't go to bed that early though; I couldn't sleep.""Really? How come?" He pressed."I was talking to Maddie for a while, and she told me David is in another official relationship. I guess I was just really in my head about it," I answered honestly. “It just seems too soon…” "Oh no, Jay, I'm sorry. Are you doing okay?"I nodded, "Yeah, I am now. Full disclosure, and I don't know how you'll feel about this, but Alec was up last night, and he talked with me about it. He actually did help me a little."Ryan's jaw tightened for a second and I was nervous about what he was going to say next. "Speak of the devil," he finally said, fixing his gaze somewhere behind me.I turned around to see Alec strolling into the kitchen. My heart did a s
Toxic Paradise 23| Surf’s Up (pt. 2)
Finally, about 45 minutes later, we arrived at the beach. As I fumbled with my seatbelt and gathered my beach bag, I was surprised by the sound of my door opening. I looked just in time to see that Alec had opened my door for me. I shot him a smile as I jumped out of the car.Ryan lead the way as we made our way over to a small, blue building that looked like a little shed. It had a large sign out front with different purchase options, and paintings of surf boards on either side. I noticed the price of the surf lesson on the sign and immediately turned to Alec."I can do the lesson by myself... really, please don't pay that much just so I don't look lame and alone." I wasn't expecting the lessons to cost 70 bucks for an hour. I thought maybe 30–40 max.As I was speaking to him, I noticed his eyes were fixated on the shed. When I turned to look, I realized what he was staring at. The girl in the window was absolutely gorgeous.She was tall— really tall, slender, and had long blonde hai
Toxic Paradise 24| Pop Up!
I don't know what I was expecting from a surf lesson— I guess I just thought that it would be more intense. The beginning of the lesson was actually pretty boring because it was just Noah explaining the different parts of the board and the logistics of surfing. I sat stiffly next to Alec while the other couple next to us cuddled up, kissing at random and inappropriate intervals. I assumed they were probably newlyweds.On occasion, my back would brush against Alec's arm and I would quickly sit up, hoping he didn't notice. I wasn't sure why he was sitting so close to me anyway. I tried my best to focus on Noah as he spoke, especially since he spent most of his opening information looking directly at me.Next, he had us practice "popping up" on our boards while still on the sand. I'm not gonna lie, I was nervous to attempt this. I watched the ease and agility in which Alec moved, "popping up" like a pro. He certainly didn't need this lesson; I could tell.I, on the other hand, was tryin
Toxic Paradise 25| The Happiest of Hours
"To Jayna completely eating shit in front of the hot surf instructor," Ryan teased, holding up his whisky sour. I watched Alec hold up his beer, chuckling along with Ryan.I held up my tequila sunrise, shooting daggers at them both. "Or... how bout to the fact that the two of you made it through almost a full day without killing each other." I knew this was kind of risky to say... but also, it was true. They both looked to be having a nice time, and I thought they should acknowledge it.They both looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders before we clinked our glasses together in cheers.We didn't have to go far to find this restaurant. In fact, it was right on the beach. The restaurant was half inside, half outside. Where we were seated outside, the ground was made up of wooden slats that resembled a boardwalk, with some tables, booths, and a large tiki bar with stools. If you followed the boardwalk past the bar, you would end up back on the sand, next to a DJ where other people
Toxic Paradise 26| Saved You Again
As Alec and I moved together, we fell into a comfortable silence. It almost felt natural— the two of us moving together like this; one of his hands wrapped around mine while the other was placed firmly on my lower back.I knew this was wrong. One reason being that I truly wasn't in a good headspace to really open up and let someone in. Another reason being that the man giving me butterflies has a very intricate family relationship with one of my friends; a relationship that I can't even begin to understand. And lastly, Ryan aside, this was Alec. Alec was... well... a dick, and a player, so after all I've been through and my fears of abandonment, I knew he probably wouldn't be the safest option for me."Oh look," Alec pulled me from my thoughts, "your boyfriend decided to see for himself that we're actually dancing."I looked over to notice the man from before had now moved onto the sand with some of his buddies. His eyes were glued to Alec and I as he took a swig of his beer. "God.
Toxic Paradise 27| Little Victories
Waking up the next morning, I felt good. I couldn't help smiling as I reminisced on the events of yesterday. Overall, I had fun, and I knew that it was the best day yet when it came to interactions between Alec and Ryan.After we got home last night, Ryan did end up confronting me again about my dancing with Alec. I promised him that it was nothing, and as far as telling the truth, in my mind, this wasn't exactly a lie. I knew whatever I felt for Alec could never be anything anyway, so why even worry Ryan for no reason? However, the truthful part of my brain knew I couldn't deny that dancing with him was amazing, and it gave me more butterflies than I'd ever felt before."You don't have to worry," I had said to Ryan, "but.. how about you two? Seemed like you were having fun today?" I knew this question was a good way to gather information while also changing the topic.It worked, and Ryan didn't press me further before answering. "Yeah... today was nice but it doesn't change the fac
Toxic Paradise 28| Under the Sea (pt. 1)
"That's gross," I stated, staring at the crusty snorkel gear in Alec's hand. He had just grabbed some gear from the garage and was assessing them before we put them into the car."It's not gross; it's just sand in there... I think..." Alec said, holding up one of the snorkels in better light."And that's supposed to go in your mouth? It literally looks moldy," I argued. There was no way I was about to use that particular snorkel. "Let's just take the flippers and go buy new goggles and snorkels? I doubt you want to put that in your mouth either."He gave it one more once over, turning it over in his hands before tossing it into the trunk. "Fine... we can stop and get more, but I'm bringing these for the goggles just incase it's cheaper to just buy a mouthpiece.""Okay, thanks!" I said before making my way to the passenger side door. I gave it a tug just to realize it was locked.I waited patiently while Alec got into the driver's side, taking his sweet time to settle in before finally
Toxic Paradise 29| Under the Sea (pt. 2)
I hesitated, allowing my feet to adjust to the temperature. "Fuck, it's cold! The other beach was warmer," I complained."Don't be a wimp; let's go," Alec persuaded."I just need to go slow to adjust," I informed, taking another few steps and stopping.I watched as Alec rolled his eyes, taking a few quick steps back in my direction."What are you doing?" I questioned. I had a bad feeling as I took in the expression on his face.He didn't answer me, instead, he grabbed me around the waist and lifted my feet off the ground as he walked us both deep into the water. My body was pressed tightly to him, keeping my front kind of warm as my back was assaulted by the cool water."Fuck—fine! You win; I'm in! Put me down," I squealed.He chuckled. "Put your goggles on first. The sand dropped off and you won't be able to touch here."He released his tight grip on me enough so that I could move my goggles from the top of my head to cover my eyes."Put your snorkel in your mouth, and test both of t
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