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Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
Dream ShadowPlease forgive the late update. Cyclone Gabrielle is moving through N.Z. and causing some disruptions, making it difficult to update. *sigh* Floods now a cyclone in the middle of summerđ€ What next mother nature?đ«Ł
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To Love You Hurts   Am I Interrupting?
TOBIAS: I walk out of the bakery as quickly as I can. That conversation didnât go as I planned, and I somehow managed to fuck everything up, like I always do. Keri has been through hell and I canât keep dragging her through it because of my demons. I didnât want to believe in love. Never wanted it. I canât see the practical value and, to be completely honest, I was doing just fine without it. Until I went back into my past and started to look for Keri. My mind told me I didnât need her, but my heart was telling me the opposite. Her smile, her strength, her intelligence, and her compassion. I missed it all. Even her stubbornness and hard-headedness with that quick tongue of hers. She fills the part of my soul I always thought would remain empty. Keri heals the scars I bear and those I never knew existed. Itâs not that I didnât want to believe in love. Iâve just subconsciously been saving it all for her. But my love comes at a price. There is a secret she isnât aware o
To Love You Hurts   I Need Money.
TOBIAS: What the hell is Keri doing showing up at my office at this time of the night? I think to myself, needing to stop Keri from leaving without giving her an explanation of the shit show she just walked in on. As Keri takes the elevator, I take the stairs, running down them two at a time. I have to stop her and convince her that what she walked in on was Bernadette trying her best to seduce me. I had given her strict orders to go home once she was done at the bakery, and yet, I canât suppress the feeling enough that she must have gone home to change because she showed up in a trench coat with red stilettos and a small box in her hand. Did she bring treats from her bakery? I donât deserve her kindness. Fuck⊠I donât deserve her altogether! My hands curl into fists as I replay what just happened. I put myself in Keriâs shoes; she has every right to think the worst of me. Itâs not like I have been honest with her from the get-go and if I had walked into the bakery unannounce
To Love You Hurts   Follow Me.
I exit the elevator car on the lobby floor, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Heading towards the southern exit of the building, I donât miss a beat in my steps. As I look down at the small, pitiful box of goodies in my possession, I shake my head and toss them into the bin on the sidewalk.âKeri!âI hear Tobias urgently call my name with a hint of panic in his voice.He followed me.Do I want him to keep following me?Either way, itâs not enough to make me stop and land myself in an awkward conversation with my husband, whom I just walked in on with his hands on another femaleâs breasts.As I dash across the street to my parked car, I check both directions before yanking the door open, slamming it shut, and locking it.I stare silently and rigidly straight ahead into the still night, attempting to comprehend what the devil just transpired, as a traitorous tear rolls down my cheek, leaving a trail of suffering in its wake. I came here to try to seduce my husband,
To Love You Hurts   Have You Ever Touched Yourself?
I attempt to control my breathing because I do not want him to notice how much his touch affects me.âTo love you hurts, TobiasâŠâ I whisper, turning my head to the side. âTell me that love is enough. Tell me that loving you will get easier and that we will always be here for one another, regardless of what happens between us?â I ask him, but it comes out more like a plea.I watch his shoulders sag as Tobias takes a large step back from me, his eyes blazing with unrecognisable emotions and his nostrils flare. âLove is meant to hurt, spitfire.â He calmly speaks. âIf you donât fight for your love, then what kind of love do you have?âI bow my head and peer down at my hands, which are slightly trembling. âNoâŠâ I whisper, shaking my head, unable to agree with him. âLove isnât meant to hurt, Tobias. Love is meant to make you feel safe. When you willingly give your heart to someone, that someone is supposed to be your home.âSlowly, I lift my head and look at him.Tobias appears before me, i
To Love You Hurts   Like Fireworks On The Horizon.
Slowly, I withdraw my fingers from within myself, trembling as the aftermath of my orgasm continues to ride me, igniting a fire that caresses every inch of my body.Watching Tobias touch himself as he watched me touch myself wasâŠExotic.Sexy.Fire.It was intimate on another level I have never reached before, and Iâm bummed itâs taken me this long to experience such a thrill.Unexpectedly, Tobias grabs my hand and sticks my arousal-coated fingers between his lips, and he sucks on them, taking them deeper into his mouth- right up to my knuckles. The electricity wavering between us bounces off the walls, and the smell of our passionate desire lingers in the air.I nibble on my lower lip, gaping at him through heated eyes, and I gasp as he releases my fingers with a loud pop.âYou taste divine, spitfire.â He growls, wiping his chin, which glistens from my love juice.I shuffle back, sitting upright on the countertop, âItâs only fair that I get to taste you in return.â I arch my brow an
To Love You Hurts   Do Everything I Wouldn't Do.
I roll over, sighing as every muscle in my body screams out with discomfort, reminding me of the multiple ways Tobias took me last night; all night long. Reaching out, I feel for him, but Iâm met with nothing but air. I pry my sleepy eyes open to find his side of the bed empty and cold, and a pang of disappointment licks my flesh.âTobias?â I groan in my early morning voice which is a little croaky.Lifting my head, I look around the room and scoff when I realise there is none of his belongings left behind in the room. Not even a loose thread that lost its way.Itâs like last night didnât happen.Like the out-of-body experience, I endured time after time, was all but a dreamâŠI sit up, leaning my back against the headboard, and I pull the sheet up around my chestâclinging to it like itâs my lifeline. Extending my left hand out, I look at the rings that adorn my wedding finger with my head tilted to the side.âIs this how things will be between us?â I think to myself as a lump begins
To Love You Hurts   A New Day, A New Era.
TOBIAS:I hate being here, and I despise the reason that I am forced to sit here and stare at three pristine walls that hurt my eyes, making me queasy even more.However, I have to be here. I have to verify Ava's claims to make sure they are accurate. The mere thought of it all being true causes my blood to boil and makes me physically ill. She is the last woman on this godforsaken planet whom I would want to carry my child.Shit⊠If she were the last surviving female, I would rather sever my dick and watch my sanity burn in the flames with my floppy dick.âMr. Landry, Iâm surprised to see you here. Your yearly physical isnât for another six months.â Dr. Anton Jefferson says as he enters his office, closing the door behind him.I stare straight ahead at the large window behind his desk as I wait for him to take his seat, and I rest my left ankle on top of my right knee.In an attempt to stop my legs from shaking and exposing my discomfort.I donât know how I am going to ask him the
To Love You Hurts   A Saint Also Has Two Faces.
I look around the bakery after the morning rush finally ends, and I make my way to the front of the shop to clean up. The phone call I received earlier from Mr. Jameson has somewhat left me shaking with anger, annoyance, disbelief⊠maybe, gratitude, a misunderstanding?Iâm not quite sure how I feel, to be honest. I suppose I need a little more time to try to digest and dissect the news about me no longer being broke and that the bakery is now debt free too, which also means my suppliers have been paid in full as well.Mr. Jameson informed me that Tobias deposited a large sum of money into my business account this morning and that we wonât need to file for bankruptcy like he feared we would have had to do two weeks ago.Is it wrong for me to be sensitive about the fact that Tobias chose to deposit the money into the account this morning? Especially, after we spent the night in each other's arms while he whispered sweet nothing into my ear until I fell asleep?Because I truly donât wan
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To Love You Hurts   Are You Happy?
EPILOGUE: TOBIAS:The waves fiercely crash against the shoreline behind us as the sun rays beam upon us.âI do.âTears of joy brim my eyes as she utters two small words that mean everything and so much more to me. She is officially mine. Again. This time by choice.âYou may now kiss the bri-â Before the priest finishes his sentence, I reach for my wife, crushing my lips against hers as I seal the deal between us. Keri smiles against my lips. âHow does it feel to be a married woman by choice, baby?ââPerfect. How does it feel to be married and a father of twins?â She has a mischievous glint lining her eyes.âLike the lost pieces to my life have finally pieced themselves back together,â I reply honestly.I turn around and look at my children sitting beside one another with a large grin on their faces as they sit on the white chairs in the sand. Sawyer is holding a small bouquet of flowers, and Ryan, an empty small pillow that not long ago held our wedding rings. My gaze shifts further i
To Love You Hurts   Let Me Explain.
TOBIAS:A persistent knock raps on the timber door, catching me off guard as I flip my steak over on the grill. Turning the BBQ off, I move my steak to the side, taking it off the heat so it wonât overcook. The banging on the door starts again, and my strides become larger until I reach the door and yank it open.âWhy the fuck do you continue to bang on my-â The words fall from my lips when my gaze collides with Keris'.What the fuck is she doing here?How did she know I was here?Fuck⊠Fuck⊠FuckâŠâKeri, I⊠UhâŠâSlap!Before I can finish my sentence, her palm collides with the side of my face. Lifting my hand, I cradle my cheek, dampening the stinging sensation spreading across it. She looks pissed off. Like she could murder me, and I donât blame her.âSo, itâs true. Youâve been here for two months?â She hisses, enraged to find me here. In the same country and not behind bars like I should be.âYes.â I state firmly, gritting my teeth.âYou bastard!â She cries out, shaking her head. â
To Love You Hurts   The Lake House.
THREE MONTHS LATER:âWe need to reschedule today'sâ meeting,â Mel looks up at me from her desk, sounding a little strange. âIâm not feeling well, and I need to go over the new contract Adem sent through for a new deal he wants to cut with us. I aim to be on my A-game before facing him.ââI can get Davis to come in and go over it with you? Two sets of eyes are better than one, and unfortunately, Iâm still trying to get up to speed with everything going on as it is.ââDavis is unavailable today. He is at the hospital with Ava.âI know I shouldnât ask, and I don't understand why I give a ratâs ass about her after all the grief she has caused me in the past, but I canât help myself. âWhatâs wrong with my sister?â My voice sounds harsher than I had intended.Gnawing on her inner cheek, Melsâ brows furrow as she raises her gaze to meet mine. âShe was standing on a chair, screwing in a light bulb when their oldest girl came running into the living room, accidentally colliding with the chair.
To Love You Hurts   The Guilt.
âYou need to stop being so hard on yourself, Keri,â El speaks softly, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. âUnder the circumstances, you have done a remarkable job with the twins, and one day, they will eventually realise that you have always had their best interest at heart. If there is one thing I know for certain, itâs that being a parent is a learning process, too. After you have given birth, you are not handed a parenting manual. You learn as you grow together as a family; sometimes, the road we pave isnât easy. But it sure as hell is fulfilling when you reach the end of that bumpy road.âI take a moment to let her words sink in and wipe my eyes dry as I nod my head; agreeing with her. âYouâre right,â I whisper, patting her hand that remains on my shoulder. âItâs been four years now, and I am still as clueless as I was yesterday on how to parent my children correctly.ââEverything that has transpired into this mess with Tobias and Coach Matty, isnât your fault. I need you to hea
To Love You Hurts   It's Your Fault.
As the front door to Kip and Elz home opens, I glance at Officer Marcus and give him a small smile that falls short of reaching my eyes â a silent expression of gratitude for his safe escort here. He offers me a brief nod, pivots on his heel, and walks away without uttering a single word.âOh, my gawds, Keri!â El screeches as she yanks the door wide open and pulls me into her loving embrace.I lean into her, tears streaming down my face as my heart shatters further. I feel an overwhelming urge to express my emotions loudly. To express my frustration and lament that the universe and Gods have conspired against my happiness. Yet, I find myself without that feeling. I search within my soul to find my strength and muster the bravery to stand before the twins as they come rushing towards me.âMummy, mummy⊠we missed you last night.â They say in unison as they fling their arms around me.El rubs my back as she gently pulls away from our embrace. Our eyes collide, and she utters the words, â
To Love You Hurts   A Million Years And One Day.
I shut my eyes, attuned to the strong and rhythmic pulse of Tobiasâ heart, my body half entwined with his. His fingers glide softly up and down my spine as he lies on his back while his gaze remains fixed on the ceiling. We haven't slept; we've only been exploring each other's bodies on an intimate level, compensating for lost moments and creating memories that will linger for years ahead. I press my face against his chest, a deep sigh escaping my swollen lips as I cling to him with all my strength. I long for a chance where time could freeze, allowing us to savor the precious last moments that Kip has generously given us. The sun has risen, birds are chirping, and early morning traffic for churchgoers echoes through the room. There is so much I wish to say to Tobias, but I donât want to ruin this moment. Though we showed each other how we felt about one another on a deeper level, using our bodies to express ourselves, I still feel like there is so much unsaid between us.âI want you
To Love You Hurts   Use Me For Your Pleasure.
TOBIAS:The soft caress of her lips is like a lifeline I desperately try to cling to. Warm. Soft. Sensual.I hate to think that this could be the last time I get to feel her like this as she passionately tries to kiss away my deepest and darkest fears. Iâll love her until my dying breath. Itâs always been her, and it always will be. I am undeserving of her love, her warmth, and time.âDonât speak⊠Just feel, Tobias. Use me for pleasure.ââDonât say that,â I murmur, pulling away from our kiss. My gaze travels down her body, and she has no idea what the vision of seeing her in my clothes does to me.âIâm serious, Tobias. If now is all we have together. I want you to take what you need from me.âLowering my pants down my hips, my cock springs free, and I watch through half-lidded eyes as she licks her lips like a starved little kitten looking for its next meal. She lowers herself onto her knees, gazing up at me, with the moonlight accentuating her natural beauty. I lean against the glass
To Love You Hurts   Don't Leave Us.
I slowly feel myself surfacing from the deep slumber that embraced me. Reaching across the bed, I search for the twins, and when I am met with air, I jolt awake in a frenzy as last nightâs terror claws at my chest. I open my eyes, and my vision slowly adjusts in the darkness.âTobias, is that you?â I whisper, squinting towards the far corner of a room that isnât mine.Sitting in an armchair with the moonlight illuminating the room, Tobias is leaning forward with a bottle of Whiskey dangling between his wide-spread legs. He stares down at the bottle, tilting his head to the side as he swirls the amber-coloured liquid at the bottom.âGo back to sleep, baby.â He mutters in a soft tone, raising his head to meet my gaze. âItâs still early, and you need your rest.âI notice that heâs wearing nothing but a black pair of satin pajama pants. His hair looks damp as if heâs just stepped out of a shower, and the woody scent of his body wash faintly lingers in the air.âHave you been sitting in th
To Love You Hurts   Utterly Useless.
TOBIAS:My sedan comes to a screeching halt as I pull into Mattysâ driveway. Pulling the handbrake up, I donât bother killing the engine and push the door open. Exiting the vehicle without slamming the door shut behind me, I race up the stairs, giving Link the death stare of a lifetime.âWhere the fuck is she?â I growl, curling my hands into tight balls at my sides. Rage licks my flesh, setting every inch of it on fire. Without uttering a single word, he points to the door, indicating that she is inside. I bite down on my molars and shove my finger in his face. âYou are fucking fired!â I bark in a breathy and murderous tone.So fucking fired!I vividly hear movement inside the house, like there is a struggle, followed by a muffled whimper and I spring into action, realising that my Keri could be in grave danger. I take one step back from the door and I kick it in. Link rushes inside, and my blood turns to ice when I see Keri pressed up against the wall with Matty trying to rip her pan
