Wounding up at her door

Chapter 3. Wounding up at her door.

“How’s school going, dear?”

He’s just seeing his mom through the screen of his phone, but it’s clear enough she’s lost weight again. Still, he masks his worries with a smile.

“Good. I even met a friend back from high school.” It’s a lie, as Claire has just reminded him the term ‘friends’ does not apply to them, but even so… “I think coming here was the right choice.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Julie was asking for you these days, but now she’s in her soccer practice. She’ll be pissed when she learns you called when she wasn’t here.”

“I’ll just greet her next time. How is she doing? And Henry?”

“They’re all good. Henry and I talked about Thanksgiving. Do you have any plans? Why don’t you come to visit us?”

He’d like to, but he needs to save money. Evan never imagined his life would come to this, counting every cent he spends, knowing that he can’t rely on anyone else. The money his grandpa left him needs to be enough to make it through college (he’s already said goodbye to the plan that involved medical school anyway).

Everything could easily be solved if he made peace with his father, but he just can’t go back to that place, to people like his father, or his brother. He’d end up being the same as them one day.

So, after the big fight, he finally gathered enough courage to reach out to his mother, and for some time everything was good and great. However, it seems that good things aren’t meant to last long in his life, or why would they be in this situation, where his mom’s health is worse everyday in spite of all the treatments and the medicine and the promises that she would get better?

“I’m sorry, mom. I cannot make it this time, but I’ll be there for Christmas.”

He hears her sigh.

“Are you worrying over money again? You’re exaggerating, Evan.”

“It has nothing to do with that.” Growing up as a Brown, he's an expert at lying with a smile on his face. “I made plans with my friend. She’s staying here at the campus, too.”

“A girl?” His mom raises an eyebrow and brings the camera closer to her face. “Is she really just a friend, or a girlfriend?”

He rolls his eyes. “Seriously?”

“I just want you to be happy and have some fun like everyone at your age. You haven’t talked about any girl since Hannah.”

Sometimes he wishes he’d ever mentioned her at all. Of course, back then when he tried so hard to pretend his life was perfect, Hannah was the proof he was doing things right. Proof that he was different from his brother. Then it all crumbled down.

“I’m having fun my own way, don’t worry about me. But if I meet a nice girl, of course I’ll tell you. Bye, mom. Take care.”

“Take care, dear. I love you.”

No one really knows what they are doing at seventeen, or eighteen for that matter, and for Evan this truth hit hard when he heard from Kat that Claire was kicked out of her house.

And why?

Because her mother did not believe that the things she said about Erick were true.

Evan had known, however, because he knew his family too well. Before that, he’d suspected his brother didn’t treat Claire right, but maybe he chose to be blind hoping that he’d be different. It was enough that their father was a terrible person. It was enough to remember everything their mother went through before she left the house. Erick hated their father, so why would he follow the same steps?

From the moment he chose to transfer to this university, he knew that meeting Claire was a possibility. Evan both feared and expected this encounter, but he also knew that she might not want to have anything to do with the people from Green Valley, considering everything that had happened that year.

But it’s one thing to imagine what her life would have been like after the hurricane, and another completely different to see it with his own eyes.

She used to be smiling all the time, to the point it was annoying. The teacher’s pet, they all said she would go to places one day. Hannah always talked about how frustrating it was that Claire subconsciously tried to take the leadership of the cheering squad because she was used to being the leader in every other club she was in (maybe she’d started half of them herself).

But no matter how many people liked her or disliked her at school, Claire Gardiner was the type of person who immediately brought smiles and laughter to the room as soon as she walked in. And when she was on the stage, singing, magic happened. 

If he were to be honest, back then he envied her. She was the most driven person he knew, and it made him feel so small in comparison, when he was someone who couldn’t even be brave enough to stand up to his father. All he knew was fear. 

Now guilt eats him inside because he let that happen to her, too.

It could have been avoided, if only he warned her on time. If only he wasn’t so selfish, or if he was less of a coward. She even said he was a nice guy, but all things considered that’s the furthest from the truth.

He can’t shake off that feeling, now that he knows Claire doesn’t sing anymore. She’s here, in this small town and this college that’s so distant from her original dreams and for reasons completely different from his own. It just feels so unfair.

Somehow, this thought is enough for him to wound up at her dorm’s main door again, waiting for anyone who lives there to call her outside.

“Evan, what are you doing here?” Her big hazel hazel eyes stare at him with disbelief. 

“I came to apologize.” He dares to keep looking straight at her, but she appears to be confused, so he continues. “I did everything wrong back then. I knew what kind of person my brother was. I knew how our father raised us to be, and so I kept finding excuses to defend him, but it was all wrong. I should have warned you what kind of person he was, what his ex girlfriends said about him. I should have gone to your mother’s house and helped you explain when she didn’t believe you the first time. I had many chances to do the right thing, and I failed, and I’m so sorry, Claire. You are right to say we are not friends, because I cannot make it up to you for the things I didn’t do at that time. But you need to know, I am sorry. I am so sorry.”

“You’re an idiot.” It’s a whisper that barely makes it to his ears.

Somehow he’s just made it worse, because he sees the gimmering tears in her eyes, and soon she is crying, and he stands there in front of her, not knowing how to make things right.