"About Kaiden?""Yes," I answered, meeting her gaze. "We talked about Kaiden.""What did he say?" She wasn't looking at me, but at the horizon."Liz..." I started. I was going to deny her. Trust was something...it is something...that I hold to the highest regard. I had never been trusted as I had the night before and I was loathed to break that confidence."Mattie, this is my brother. He hasn't acted like that in a long time. In the beginning, he was so angry all the time. I know he's keeping things from me. I'm not stupid, I always knew there was something. I just never knew what." She wiped her face and asked silently for another drink. I complied willingly, handing the cup over to her."Please, Mattie." I could
Mykel shut the back door behind him and made his way slowly across the kitchen. The trepidation he felt the nearer he drew to his sister's bedroom door was paramount and nerve-wracking.He paused outside her door, fist poised to knock, but lowered his hand without a sound. He sighed and finally knocked, pushing forth all his courage to face Liz's wrath. Having more than once been on the receiving side of her anger, it was not something he was particularly looking forward to.She opened the door looking tired and disheveled, her heart broken freshly as one secret came out, and another was on the tip of confession.He could tell from her posture and her curt 'what' that told him he was still on her shit list. Her eyes were dry, but her cheeks were still a bit puffy, indicating that she had stopped crying within the hour.
"Yeah. That's what he said." Mykel's voice was heavy and thick, remembering the words he had read so many times."Well, do you think he lied about that?"He sniffled again. "He never lied to me about anything.""Well then, my love, don't you think that he meant what he said? If he never lied to you, he wouldn't lie to you with his last words, would he?"Mykel croaked out a whispered 'no'."What do you feel for Mattie? Honestly," Liz asked gently, gripping his shoulder, turning him to look at her."I'm falling in love with him. He makes me happy. He makes me smile. He makes me smile like Kaiden used to make me smile."
"Hey, a falling star!" Mykel jumped at my exclamation, making a startled yelp as he jumped backward.I looked behind me grinning, a slow chuckle escaping me at the look on his face. The startled shock slowly morphed into a slow, sleek smile that spread across his face.He had been smiling more the past couple weeks, though only lately had his smiles been reaching his eyes. This smile though was the kind of smile that makes me melt. This smile reserved for me and one I had not seen in weeks."Look," he said.I looked back to the sky in time to see dozens more streak across the night, glowing trails lighting up the sky. I watched mesmerized, enraptured by the beauty of it all.Mykel tightened his hold on me, squeezi
Time for your bath, Mathew.All the oxygen was sucked from my lungs in an instant, as if inside the shower had created a vacuum where air did not, or could not exist. I felt my legs fail to continue to perform their function and as I went down I felt the water go over my head.My chest burned and my veins boiled as complete terror consumed me. My blood felt like a river of fire, as if Pyriphlegethon itself ran through my soul, taking me with it in its sickening current.I could feel their malicious hands, phantom memories brought back in a haze of panic, holding me under the spray.I screamed.It's time for your bath, Mathew.I do not know how lo
I wanted to believe him so badly. His words and his tone and the softness of his touch was so foreign the concept was hard to swallow."What am I worth, Mykel? What have I ever done that's worth anything? I went from one abuse to another. Why would you even want me? Why do you want anything to do with some...used up whore?"The word made me sick to my stomach and tasted rancid on my tongue. I heard Mykel suck in a long breath, his nostrils flaring."Listen to me now, Mattie, and listen well. I don't care about what you had to do back then. Do I like you were put into a situation where that was y
I woke early that Sunday, dreams, or should I say nightmares, not allowing me to want to even attempt at sleep; nor could I lie there wide awake.Now, an hour later I was on my second cup of coffee, quietly sipping as I enjoyed the peace of a new morning's sunrise.I heard the back door open and quietly close.I smiled behind my coffee cup as I took a sip. Liz sat down next to me, her bed head on the highest level of insanity, her giant cup in one hand, her box in the other.Once she was situated she smiled at me before leaning over and kissing my cheek. "Good morning, gorgeous."I smiled through my outrageous blush. "Good morning, Liz. Sleep well?"She followed my gaze, rolling her e
You're a fool, boy. You'll never deserve him. Being a whore was too good for you. You should have stayed in your box where you belong.The voice was sudden and crippling and suddenly I felt her hands around my throat.Mykel must have noticed the change in the air because when he looked at me his whole face changed.He slowly leaned forward and stamped the blunt out before sitting back just as carefully."Mattie?" He reached but pulled away when I tried to scamper backward and away from him, a whimper escaping me.All I saw was her face swimming before my eyes, her malicious smile spreading like cancer across her distorted face."No. No, please."
I watched him take a deep drag off the marijuana and hold the hit, his eyes squinted against the smoke that rolled upward along his face. He exhaled and looked at me. He looked the slightest bit calmer. His eyes had dried, though the clouds were still present."I've been battling myself that this is a means to an end," he began hoarsely. "I mean I don't want it to be. I want to fight through this together like you said. Get through it together, like you said." He paused and flicked the ash into the ashtray between us. He rocked nervously; just slightly. He made a sound of frustration deep in his throat. "Hey," I set my hands along his things and he looked at me. "Easy. Take a breath. There's no rush here. Gather your thoughts and when you're ready speak." Halfthe blunt was gone before he started speaking. I left one of my hands against
"Mykel." He turned back to her with a desperate look in his eyes. "Have you talked to him?"He shook his head. "I asked once if he was okay. He said he was. He wasn't flippant about it or anything...what if it's just in my head?""Hey, there you two are." Mattie's voice came from behind them. Mykel quickly schooled his features as Mattie came up behind them, his hand sliding up Mykel's shoulder. Mykel closed his eyes. "Everything alright?""When you asked that I knew you knew the answer. I could see it on your face," Rian told me. "So as someone who loves you both, this is my advice. I know you love him, Mattie. Let your guard down. Let him back in completely. He needs you as much as you need him and it's time to stop this." I took a shuddering breath but didn't interrupt her. Her tone was soft, caring, and full of worr
I stood, set the baby in the playpen, and followed him onto the front porch, sitting with him on the steps leading to the house. "Please don't tell my mom this, okay? Can this stay between you and me?""You can tell me anything, Mattie. I want you to be able to trust me." He smiled faintly."I know where I come from. I know what was done to her, and how and why she got pregnant with me." He looked at me, his eyes older than they should have been. Wiser with second-hand knowledge. "I overheard her talking about it with Dad once. I had gone to the bathroom and heard them through the crack in the door."They always have the door cracked open. In case one of us needs them. Anyway, I guess she had a nightmare about it. I could hear her crying as she told him.""She doe
Since going to Mattie's birthday a few months previous, my sister and I remained in almost daily contact. I couldn't be happier about the relationship she and I were building. I had confided in her about my fears after Mykel's...stunt...and many times did she pick me up and take me to her place to calm me down. We were as close as we could be at the moment, and I was surprised at the quick acceleration of our relationship. I was sitting on her couch holding Cory, who was chewing on the tiger's eye stone that was fastened to a leather string that hung around my neck. I smiled at her as her bright blue eyes met mine. She smiled around the necklace.Mattie andDaniel were upstairs playing video games. I smiled a bit more at the sounds of the children laughing. "So how are you and Mykel doing?" Rian asked me as she handed me a fresh glass of iced tea."Not quite as tense as we have b
"I never stopped loving you, Mykel," I told him as my throat tightened."Then what? I mean..." He sighed, his eyes pleading with me. "It hurts, Mattie." I saw his eyes begin to shine and he turned and continued walking, his head down. "I'm not going to try to make excuses for myself. What I did was stupid and it hurt you. And Liz. I just...wish you understood." He looked at me, his eyes dry again with a dullness to them I had never before seen present there."I do to some extent. But you did it in front of me. You had enough force where you could have died and..." I stopped walking and pulled my hand free. I felt his reluctance to let go. He looked at me as if he thought I'd dematerialize right before his eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest, drawing myself in tighter. "I feel betrayed, Mykel. I feel like..." I stopped as my lungs constricted behind my rib cage and tri
Slowly I lowered myself onto the bed, buried my face in his pillow, and, surrounded by his scent, screamed. I heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs sometime later, but I knew they didn't belong to Mykel. They were too light. I felt Liz's hand on my shoulder and slide around my back as she sat next to me."Baby, why don't you just talk to him?" My cries came harder, my face still obfuscated by the pillow. Liz's fingers found their way into my hair. She said nothing more as she waited for me to calm down. "Mattie." Her voice was so soft as she spoke to me. So full of patience and worry it broke my heart further."I can't, Liz, I can't," I wailed, my words muffled. "I just can't.""Why not, my love?" I couldn't answer her as my cries increased and she pulled me into her. I latched my arms around her, holding on as I
He shook his head slightly. "I tried talking to him about it...about how he feels...and he won't."Liz lit the forgotten blunt. "Of course he won't. Why would he right now? Beyond what he said as reasoning for not saying anything, he needs to process it all and come to terms with how he feels before he can talk to you about it." She paused. "You think he's the only one that's pissed off about this, Mykel? Cause, I gotta tell ya...I'm fucking livid. And I'm trying to be supportive of you and not make you feel worse about this whole shit hole of a situation, but...I don't even know anymore. I don't know what to think or what to say or how to say it. Or make things worse by saying anything. And I'm sure that's how he feels also. Mykel?""Yeah?""Don't you ever fucking do that again."
I took a shuddering breath. "Is this really a conversation you want to get into right now, Mykel?"He looked at me. "If not now, when? This isn't a conversation that you'll willingly bring up later."I looked at him for a moment, my expression softening as I looked at him. "If I need to. But right now, emotions are high. Shit is still very raw...I would rather put it off until we've both had time to process so this doesn't turn into a fight. I don't want to fight with you. Do I want to talk about this? Yes. I do. Because it really fucking hurt. Do I want to fight and scream and argue? No, I'd rather not. So if not talking about it now and having to balls up to mention it later means that that won't happen tonight...that-that we won't fight because we're both very clearly upset...then, fine, I can do that."He scoffed at
She glanced up as Mykel took a seat next to her. She smiled sadly at him. I could see she was attempting to keep her composure. I knew the fear in her heart was one she hadn't quite experienced for her brother in several years. "Hey, Mykee." He smiled at her, but the smile was worn with an anxious pulling of his brows. "You want some coffee?" He nodded not speaking. I could see his throat bobbing as he swallowed impulsively, trying to keep himself from falling apart, by the look in her eyes. She set the mug down in front of him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, setting her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you, Mykel. Don't you ever fucking do that to me again, or I'll kill you myself." He half-smiled and nodded in a barely perceptible way, his eyes slipping closed momentarily. She kissed his cheek before disengaging from his shoulders and taking her seat.To Mykel she said, "I won't be gone too long today. I