TaylorAt 2:00 in the morning, I lay on my bathroom floor with my head leaning on the chilly edge of the tub. Yesterday, I spent more time over the bathroom stool than usual. It became bad enough, I moved the ginger ale, water bottle, and crackers onto my dresser so I could attempt to nibble without leaving my bedroom area. I found walking caused dizziness, which led to nausea, and thus another visit to the bathroom. In my weakened state, I napped most of the day in my bed. Tonight, I attempt to sleep, but most of my night, I find myself on the bathroom floor. I’m not fighting it anymore. The cool tub feels good on my cheek and neck. I grab the towel off a nearby rack to use as a blanket. My stomach quiet for the moment, I close my eyes, hoping for sleep to rescue me. My headache grows worse with each passing hour.I wake when I hear movement on the stairs and then in the kitchen.“Hey,” I attempt to yell. My dry mouth, cotton tongue, and raw throat make talking difficult. “Help!” I b
TaylorAfter my ten minutes of worshiping the porcelain throne, I brush my teeth, shower, and dress for today’s obstetrics appointment. Choosing an outfit is simple. I only have one pair of shorts with an elastic waistband.I really need to shop for some new clothes.I am not ready for the maternity attire; I just need to purchase a size or two larger now or all elastic waists. Although I can see and feel my baby bump, it’s not apparent to others. It’s my goal to keep it this way as long as I can. The thought of my baby-bump drawing strangers to touch my belly already causes anxiety. I am not ready for that.I tug on my comfy navy linen shorts with the gently scalloped hem. I pair it with a simple navy and pale blue striped V-neck t-shirt. I opt for a ponytail and very light make-up. Comfy and casual will help calm my nerves for today’s appointment.As I slide my navy slip-on Converse upon my feet, a text from Jackson pings on my phone. Jackson: if change your mindJackson: can meet y
TaylorWhispers.I hear whispers.The soft murmurs pull me from my slumber. Opening my eyes, I find Jackson and Kennedy in the kitchen. They notice my movements.“Stay,” Jackson encourages. “Stay on the sofa. We will come to you.”I shift slightly to sit up.My stomach feels okay.I should eat.I attempt to rise, but Jackson raises his palms between us. “Stay put and use your words to ask for help,” he instructs.“I should nibble and drink,” I confess. “Would you mind bringing me some pretzels and water or ginger ale?”Eager to hear about today’s visit, they quickly bring me snacks and a drink. Kennedy kneels on the floor in front of me while Jackson sits beside me on the sofa. I chomp on a few pretzel sticks, needing my mouth occupied while I figure out what to do next.When I sip the ginger ale, Kennedy breaks, “You’re killing us. We need details.”Jackson nods in agreement.“I need to pee, then I’ll spill all the details,” I lie. I need to retrieve the pics from my dresser. When I r
TaylorAfter my morning trip to the porcelain throne and breakfast on Monday, I close this week’s reminder. I remove the photo of the head of a nail from the refrigerator and replace it with the week seven photo of a blueberry. Our little ones are getting bigger and bigger. My hand absent-mindedly rubs my belly.As I pose for my two baby belly photos, I notice my stomach. It’s not much. No one would notice, but I do. I read that because of my petite stature, I notice changes sooner than some pregnant women do. I won’t share with Jackson and Kennedy that I’m already fattening up. I’m not ready for my abdomen to be the primary focus of everyone around me.While eating my lunch on a barstool, I notice the waistband on my only elastic shorts is no longer comfortable. I decide I can’t wait until Saturday to shop with Kennedy as we planned. My waist expands and so should my wardrobe. I grab my cell phone.Me: feeling good, need shorts, think I’ll shop todayKennedy: go for itKennedy: catch
TaylorOn Sunday, we prepare tailgating foods to watch The Chiefs football game. By mid-day, my breasts ache something fierce. I enter my bathroom, remove my bra, then replace it with the next size up that I purchased on my shopping trip. The fact, I move from my slightly too large size 34A bra to a snug 34B concerns me. Of course, I have read many places that breast size increases during pregnancy as they prepare to produce milk for the baby after giving birth.I knew this day would come, so why am I so uncomfortable?Standing in my bra and panties in front of my mirror, I observe the changes my body already undertook in my first weeks of pregnancy. My abdomen grows, my hips round, and my breasts swell. Before I re-dress, I decide to take advantage of being in the bathroom before I return to the living room.While washing my hands, I notice my upper arms scrunch my breasts over the sink. These boobs are out of control. Walking through my bedroom, I observe my profile walking in the mi
TaylorIn mid-November, Kennedy remains home with Jackson and me for today’s noon Chiefs game versus The Panthers. Seems Isaac and Madison plan to meet to discuss their marriage today. Kennedy, though present, is withdrawn. It’s clear to me she doesn’t want to be here.In the second half, she naps on one end of the sofa while I sit at the other end. Jackson and I focus all our attention on the close game. While she sleeps, we try to quiet our cheers and groans.Jackson immediately notices my sudden change in position, as well as my alertness. My hands cover my entire belly. I crane my neck as I focus on the sensation I just experienced. “Feeling sick?” Jackson inquires nervously.Kennedy raises her head from the pillow to see what causes our focus to turn from the game.“Not sick,” I answer, while still trying to decipher the sensation I experienced.There it is again. What could it be?It isn’t nausea, not gas. It feels like butterflies fluttering for a few seconds.As fast as it sta
TaylorI smile at the calendar. Today is the day; it’s finally December 7th. Today is the sonogram that will hopefully divulge the sex of the twins. I’m excited, Kennedy is excited, and Jackson is a nervous wreck. It’s cute. I’m very excited for the two of them.Jackson meets me in the parking lot as usual for the appointment. “Ready for this?” he asks.“Are you ready for this?” I counter.He shakes his head, and we walk into the three-story physician’s office building. “The good news is, we know there are two babies in here.” I rub my tummy as I speak. “No more surprise babies. Just finding out if they will pee sitting down or standing up.” Jackson sputters. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in for a side-hug. “You’re a dork,” he says for the millionth time.“Good news,” I reply. “Your children will be fifty-percent my genes. The nerd and dork genes are dominant. Are you prepared?” I tease.“I can only hope I have a brainiac daughter just like you.” Jackson’s words hi
TaylorOn Thursday, I awake from my afternoon catnap slowly sitting up. While I wait for my body to adjust, I snag my phone from the coffee-table. My alerts notify of three Facebook messages, one snap on Snap Chat, and a text from Kennedy.I read the text first, finding Kennedy will be at Madison’s again this evening. I guess Jackson and I will continue working through our fast-food list. I mentally tally she spent four evenings of the last seven with Madison. It seems Madison’s marriage struggles are more than she can handle. I may try to stay awake until Kennedy comes home tonight to get an update on the situation. Maybe I can assist Madison, too.Later, I decide to take advantage of the forty-five-degree day and venture out for a walk. As I round the corner, I notice Madison pulling into her driveway. She is home early, and I plan to take advantage of this opportunity. Keeping a steady pace, soon I arrive at Madison’s door. Ringing the bell, I attempt to organize my questions while