Mary knew the sun was about to come up. She lay in her bed, waiting for the first light to find its way through the gap in the closed shutters. Under the covers, it was warm, but when Mary got out of bed she knew the chilly morning air would make her shiver. So she stayed under the blanket even though she knew she should get up. Suddenly, there was a loud coughing attack from the bed on the other side of the room. Mary forced herself to get up and wrapped her woollen shawl around her as she rushed to the other bed. It was her mother who had coughed. Mary looked at her mother and saw the glazed look, though it met her gaze, it didn’t seem to see her. Mary was afraid of that look. Her mother had had it for almost three days and Mary’s father had had it for almost five. It had been almost two weeks since her father first got sick and then her mother had fallen ill. Now she was the one who took care of them and the household. She turned around and went back to her own bed. There, her dress hung over the headboard, and she hurried to pull it over her head. It did not offer any direct warmth, as it was cold from hanging unused during the night. But it would soon get warm. She went up to the fireplace and stirred among the remains of the fire that burned there during the night. There were still embers left, but it took a while for Mary to get the fire going. She looked at her parents again before going down to the kitchen and out into the courtyard to collect water. The water tub which stood out in the yard had a thin layer of ice. She had to knock holes in the ice in order to fill the bucket with water. As she stood in front of the stove, she looked down into the pot where the porridge was boiling. Her mother made tastier porridge; when Mary cooked the porridge it either became too loose or she barely got it out of the pot. But when her mother made it, it was smooth and when you poured the milk, the porridge rose like an island in a white sea. When Mary poured the milk today, it got mixed with the porridge into an unappetising grey sludge. She sat down at the wooden table with her bowl and as she ate her breakfast, she thought about what it had been like before her parents got sick.
Mary and her parents lived in a small house in the city’s artisan quarter. The house was not as large as the villas that were closer to the city centre and the castle, but it was big enough for her father’s shop and for the family to live a comfortable life. Mary’s father was a silversmith, and he was skilled. Mary knew several of the city’s wealthiest families ordered jewellery and other items from her father. Her mother used to be in the kitchen, behind the store, or in the store when Mary’s father was in the forge out the back. Mary could spend her days helping her mother, listening to her father tell her how to decorate a cup so the characters seemed to dance, or running around the streets with her friends, looking at everything there was in the city. She knew almost every alley in this part of the city. But it felt like all that was years ago, Mary thought. Now she, at only ten years old, was in charge of the household and responsible for her parents. She would soon have to go to the market and buy meat and maybe vegetables, but the money they had left wouldn’t be enough. Her father’s shop had not been open since he got sick. The money had slowly but surely disappeared, and the price of food had risen. It was because of the sickness that ravaged the city. Farmers and hunters were afraid of becoming infected and did not want to enter the city to sell their goods. Those who came raised their prices. Mary was wondering if she could open the store during the day when she heard another cough. She quickly got back on her feet and poured porridge and milk into two large bowls that she carried upstairs. Her father was still asleep. It was scary the way he was breathing. But her mother was awake and looked at her with her foggy eyes.
“Good morning, Mom,” Mary said as cheerfully as she could. “I’ve made porridge for you. I think I’m getting better at it,” she continued as she walked up to the bed. “Please, I want you to eat some, Mom. You ate almost nothing yesterday.” Mary’s mother looked at Mary but did not react when Mary held out the bowl of porridge. “I know you’re tired, but please try,” Mary coaxed. Her mother didn’t seem to hear her.
Mary put the porridge bowls on the floor and picked up a stool, on which she placed the bowls. Then she started trying to get her mother to sit up in bed. By pulling, pushing and pleading, she got her mother to sit up hunched against the headboard. When she was done, Mary felt warm and out of breath. She took a bowl of porridge and sat on the edge of the bed next to her mother. Patiently, Mary fed her. After what felt like hours, she had gotten her mother to eat a couple of spoonfuls. When Mary didn’t think her mother would eat more porridge, she put down the wooden bowl and crawled over her mother to shake her father to life. He groaned in his sleep but didn’t seem to wake up.
“Dad, I really want you to wake up,” Mary said, shaking him a little more. Her father’s eyelids fluttered and opened. His eyes focused on Mary, and he raised his hand and stroked it over her cheek. “Dad?” Mary asked, a lump in her throat.
“My good little girl,” he whispered with cracked lips.
“Dad, I’ve made porridge for you,” Mary whispered back, hurrying to get the other bowl. She helped her father eat a couple of spoonfuls before he started coughing, and after that he didn’t want to eat anymore. “Dad, the money is almost gone. No one wants to help me because everyone is afraid of getting sick. I think I have to open the shop today, but I don’t know how to do it,” Mary said as she sat between her parents in bed.
“My beautiful and talented daughter,” said her father, smiling,
“Daddy, I need your help,” Mary pleaded, and a tear ran down her cheek. But her father had already fallen asleep again. Mary climbed gently over her mother and down on the floor. She was alone again. She had to do this on her own. Mary wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Only babies cried, and she wasn’t a baby anymore. She took the bowls of half-eaten porridge and went down into the kitchen. After cleaning up from breakfast and milking the two goats, she opened the door to the small shop.
There was a thin layer of dust on the bench and the air felt old. Mary cleaned the shop. Her father would never open the shop if it wasn’t clean and tidy, and she wouldn’t either. It was about taking pride and knowing your worth, Mary thought. When the little shop looked nice and clean, she went upstairs again. She put new firewood on the fire and picked up the stool and placed it by one of the walls. She stood on it and reached up. Her hand felt along the wall. It felt cool and smooth. Her fingers felt their way until they found the little notch. There was the key to the chest that stood under the bench in the kitchen. Mary took the key and went downstairs and opened the chest. Wrapped in fabric and straw were her father’s finished works. Carefully, she carried the items out to the shop and placed them as her father used to do. When she was satisfied, she walked up to the door and opened it, and stepped out into the street in front of the shop. She opened the shutters that covered the windows and let the sunshine in. Mary went back inside and sat on the stool behind the counter and waited for her first customer. She was nervous that no one would come. They were perhaps too afraid of the sickness her parents had.
Everyone knew few people survived when they got the sickness. Her parents would be fine, Mary knew that. They had her taking care of them. All those other people who hadn’t made it must have been alone, or maybe the whole family had gotten sick. Mary was convinced that was the case. What bothered her the most was she hadn’t been to church for two Sundays. She couldn’t leave her parents alone for that long. This was something she often worried about. The priest used to say that God took care of those who loved him. He had also said that those who didn’t go to church on Sundays did not love God. What if God thought Mary didn’t love him and didn’t help her? Mary needed God’s help to make her parents healthy. She knew that. But Mary had had a little worship service at home, not as nice as the one in the church, but a small one. Mary didn’t know the old language, so she couldn’t say any of the nice things the priests always talked about. But she had prayed to God for a long time, and she had told of all the things she had done that were sinful, and in the end, she had asked God to save her parents. But she was still afraid God would not understand. Perhaps God didn’t even hear prayers when one was small and insignificant. Perhaps God only heard prayers from the rich and the important.
Mary’s thoughts were interrupted when a man came through the door. He blocked the sun shining through the doorway and seemed hesitant to enter. Although Mary only saw him as a black silhouette, she knew who he was.
“Good morning, Mr. Sansi,” she said hurriedly, rising from the stool. She just reached over the high counter and thought for a moment about standing on the stool. She changed her mind and instead approached the man who was standing just inside the door. “Can I help you?” she asked, stopping a short distance from him. She had had a good upbringing and knew how to treat customers who were in the upper classes of society.Mr. Sansi was a regular customer of her father, and she was happy he had arrived today. He rarely left the shop without buying something.“Where’s your father?” he asked, looking at Mary.“He’s been sick and is resting, Mr. Sansi,” Mary replied.“And your mother?”“She too has been sick, Mr. Sansi. But they are both on the mend,” Mary hurried to add.“I understand. So you’re in charge of the shop today?” Mr. Sansi asked.“Yes, sir.”“I’ve been here a couple of times in the last few weeks, hoping it would be open. I was pleased when I saw it was open today. But I don’t k
“Are your parents better?” Mrs. Korpi asked.“A little, thank you. Father talked to me today but he’s still weak and needs to sleep,” Mary replied. She stopped when she saw Mrs. Korpi seemed to recoil as she got closer.“Who’s running the shop today?”“I am. We need to bring in some money to be able to buy meat in the market.”“Is it really wise to open the shop? You should perhaps wait until your father or some adult can take care of it.”“I’m sure you’re right, but I have to take care of my parents, so I don’t have a choice.” Mrs. Korpi seemed to hesitate a little. She looked back into the shop and then examined Mary for a while.“How are you, Mary?” she asked.“Thank you, I’m fine,” Mary replied honestly.“You don’t have a fever or cough?”“No, I’m perfectly healthy.” Mrs. Korpi looked at her again.“Mary, I think you’d better come live with us. You shouldn’t be alone here; you’d be better off at our home.” Mary looked at Mrs. Korpi in surprise. Did she really want Mary to leave he
“Not for a long time,” he said, sounding just as sad. Mary couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t talk to her parents and the neighbours didn’t want to help her, and now she couldn’t see Erik. She felt completely alone and isolated in the world. The tears welled up and began to run down her cheeks. Erik stood on the other side of the courtyard and looked at her unhappily. He didn’t know what to do.“Dad said the Lady’s coming tonight. Maybe she can help your parents and then maybe we can play again,” he said.“Who’s the Lady?” asked Mary, sobbing.“Dad says that before the church existed, it was the Lady who was the church. But when the king’s ancestor founded the church, the Lady left. But now she’s coming back to help us get rid of the sickness.” Mary listened to what he said. She stopped crying and was now wiping her cheeks.“But how could she be the church?” she asked. “Women can’t be priests.”“What do I know?” Erik said, shrugging. “I have to go now,” he added, looking at her. S
Mary looked around and suddenly realized what was wrong, it was the sound of her parents’ breathing. It no longer sounded strained as it had done in the past week, but it was not the breathing that Mary used to lie and listen to when she couldn’t sleep when her parents had been healthy either. This breathing came quickly; it was as light as a feather and sometimes it seemed to stop for several minutes. Mary knew nothing about sickness, let alone death. But in her heart, she knew the breathing she heard from her parents was wrong. Something was very wrong. The panic quickly crept into her, and Mary felt it take a firm hold of her heart. Why had she stayed so long looking for eggs? She should have stayed inside and taken care of her parents. What would she do now? No one could or would help her. Mary sank to the floor in the middle of the room and cried. All the fear and sadness she had inside her came out in the desperate cry of a ten-year-old girl. After the worst of the crying subsid
The air went out of her when she landed on the roof of the carriage. The thud made people look up, and the riders closest to the carriage had heard the sound and stopped. The riders behind had seen something landing on the roof and quickly rode forward to investigate what it was. Mary felt hands grab her and try to pull her off the carriage. There was only one thought in her head: She had to talk to the Lady. She was desperately trying to find something to hold on to. But her hands found only the shiny, flat roof.“No!” she shouted. “No, I need to talk to her; she has to help me. Please, I need to talk to her.” Her cries were mixed with sobs. Tears of desperation rolled down her cheeks as she tried to fight her way free from the hands that pulled her from the roof and away from the carriage. “Please, I need to talk to her,” she almost shouted. The people around them looked on in amazement at the little girl who was desperately fighting the grey-clad men. More grey-clad people had form
Tariana sat and watched the sleeping girl. It had been a long journey from Salmisara to Dermes, and when something had crashed down on her carriage as they went through the city, her imagination had created the most horrible images. She shouldn’t have allowed herself to create such fantasies, but she blamed fatigue. When she discovered it was in fact a little girl, she had been surprised for a moment. It wasn’t often Tariana was surprised, but the small, slender girl with the desperate eyes had succeeded. Tariana remembered the desperation in the girl’s words, how her voice had been panicked. She could still see the tears which had flowed down her cheeks and how she had fought like a beast against Kopa and Term, who had tried to pull her away from the carriage. Tariana’s maternal instinct had awakened, and that’s why she had decided to hear what the girl wanted to say. She still had a hard time believing the story she had heard. Such a young girl had struggled to take care of herself
One afternoon the Lady came walking in with Mildy. Mary was no longer afraid or shy of the Lady, so she smiled when she saw her coming.“Come, Mary, and we’ll see if your new clothes fit,” said The Lady, reaching out to Mary. Mary jumped out of the window and took the Lady’s hand. It would be so exciting with new clothes. She tried on one dress after another. There were clothes for everyday life and for parties in all kinds of colours and shapes. Mary felt the knot in her stomach unknot a little and she smiled up at the Lady.“Thank you very much,” she said.“You still have a dress to try on” said the Lady, smiling. Mildy held it out so Mary could see. Mary stared at the dress and felt the tears rise in her eyes, this time out of joy. The dress was a small copy of the clothes those in the Lady’s company always wore. They differed from the clothes used in Dermes, but Mary thought they were incredibly beautiful. Now Mildy held out such a dress towards her. It was deep green and had wide
Mary walked up to the chest that stood by her bedside. It was her father’s chest. She took out the key she had around her neck and opened it. Therein were her father’s silver items, wrapped in cloth and straw. There was also a small bag of the money that Mr. Sansi had received from the sale of her parents’ estate. She searched the items until she found what she was looking for. She picked up a small parcel and unwrapped the fabric that protected the silver object. It wasn’t big but the rose was so cleverly made you’d think it had been a real rose that someone dipped in liquid silver. Mary knew her father had made it for her mother. He would have given it to her for her birthday. Mary was annoyed by a tear that ran down her cheek and wiped it away. She didn’t think her father would be offended if he knew what she was planning to do with it. She wrapped the rose back up and put it on the bed. Then she picked up a new parcel. She unwrapped it and saw a heavy silver buckle. It depicted a
“We finished Procecsa’s experiments today, and we think we can see a pattern,” Mary told Tariana excited. She didn’t know how Tariana already knew about it, but it was the only thing exciting which had happened lately. Tariana laughed again.“That is exciting to hear, but no. I was thinking about the fact that you have gotten some control over your fire magic,” Tariana smiled.“Oh, that. Yes, Procecsa helped me with it last night,” Mary said. She didn’t understand what was so exciting about that.“Do you think you could summon it now?” Tariana asked.“I think so,” Mary nodded. Tariana stood and went over to the bookcase. She got a small tray and walked back, placing it on the desk in front of Mary. On the tray there was a candle, an empty bowl, a feather, a pile of what looked like soil, and a plate with a dried bean.“Please light the candle,” Tariana asked Mary. Mary focused and after a while she found the now familiar feeling of her fire magic. The candle lit. “Fill the bowl with w
The time until the winter solstice went by quickly and before she knew it, Mary was running around the equipment she had helped Procecsa set up the day before the solstices. They were outside the wall, on a flat part of the plain. The grass had been cut down and a light dusting of snow barely covered the ground. The area was guarded by grey riders. Not for the fear of someone sabotaging their experiments, but to keep curious people away. There was a lot of preparation to be made. Luckily for Mary, she had already done this a couple of times before. According to magical theory, occasions such as the winter solstice and full moons could affect magic in different ways. But to Mary’s surprise, it had never been proven, even though everyone used the principle. Procecsa had therefore designed an experiment to perform some basic magic, which was easy to perform and evaluate the effect of and repeat this during the different beneficial celestial occasions. They had already done the control ro
“I would love to,” Mary said, looking at him. “But I don’t want to take time away from you seeing your family. I know you don’t get to see them that often,” she said. Tenac shrugged.“I will visit them as often as I can while they are here. It’s okay, I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t,” he said.“Okay, then I would love to come.”“Good. Now let’s get you a new horse,” he smiled.“No, Tenac. I have told you, Buttercup will do,” Mary objected.“I’m not letting you anywhere near my grandfather whilst you are riding Buttercup, Mary. If you are going to visit a Che’hul camp, you can’t be on a horse like her,” he said. Mary looked at him. She really wanted to go with him to visit his family. Her curiosity and thirst for new things was going crazy at the thought of getting to see this whole new culture. At the same time, it felt like she was betraying Buttercup. The horse had been patient with her from the start. Mary recognised Tenac was dangling the visit to the Che’hul camp as an incent
“In my case?” Mary asked.“For some reason, you have been conditioned to suppress your fire. Most likely not in an effort to suppress the magic, but a characteristic which goes with it. Like anger,” Procecsa said. Mary could hear that she tried to be gentle. Mary sat quietly for a while and thought things through. Her time in the kitchen had made her put a tight lead on her emotions, especially anger, but also passion and love. It would have been the last thing she did in the castle if she had become angry with someone higher up the rank than her. Which had been most people.“So, what do I do? Do I have to get angry at Tenac?” Mary asked, making Procecsa laugh.“No, I don’t think he deserves it. He’s just trying to help you, after all” she smiled at Mary.“I need to get angry at someone else?” Mary asked, confused.“I don’t know if you need to get angry at anyone, Mary. I think it would be okay just for you to accept it is okay for you to get angry. Just to allow yourself to experienc
It had been over six months since Mary had started her training, and each day offered new opportunities to learn and to explore the world. She discovered she had a craving for learning. The more she learnt, the more questions she had. Her mentor, Procecsa, had picked up on this and gave Mary more and more books to read. Mary was helping her mentor with all sorts of experiments. Procecsa was good at explaining things in a way Mary understood them. In just a few weeks, the winter solstice was to take place and Mary was looking forward to it. Several of the experiments that Procecsa had Mary help with depended on it. In the class for basic magic, they had learned certain celestial events could impact magic. The winter solstice was one of those. Mary was to assist her mentor in trying to figure out just how much it affected certain types of magic. Mary found the whole thing fascinating and couldn’t wait to get to see the results. After the solstice, they would have a two-week break. It wa
Zerden stood looking at the men under his command. They were training, and they looked tired. Zerden knew he had been pushing them hard this past month. His bad mood had made him irritable, and every mistake was now punished with a gruelling training session. He knew he needed to back off a bit. His men were well trained and the minor mistakes they made didn’t warrant this punishment. Zerden needed to get his temper back in check. Which was easier said than done. It would be easier if he just had known why he was in such a bad mood. If he was honest with himself, he knew why. He just wasn’t up for admitting it just yet. So instead, his bad mood continued and everyone around him endured and stayed out of his way as much as they could.“Don’t forget to put everything back before you head to get dinner,” he shouted. He didn’t wait around to make sure they did what he told them. No one wanted to disobey him at the moment. He walked inside and headed to his room in the castle. Zerden had j
“Sure, happy to help,” Jontak said, smiling. Firlea looked at Mary, slightly panicked. Mary smiled at her.“Thanks, Jontak,” Mary said. She and Sinhera looked as Jontak and Firlea left the shop.“Not the smoothest hint, but I think that will do,” Sinhera smiled.“It’s a good start at least,” Mary nodded.“What are you two plotting?” Tenac asked as he walked up to them. “And where are Jontak and your friend?”“Firlea needed ink. Jontak escorted her there as it’s her first time to the market,” Mary smiled at him.“You two are scaring me. Please don’t help me like that, ever,” he said. Both Mary and Sinhera laughed. They waited for the two to return before heading towards the weapons stalls. There were a lot of different weapons. Some Mary didn’t even know the names of and couldn’t figure out how to use.“Do you want to look at a new knife, Mary?” Jontak asked her.“No thank you, I’m happy with the one I have,” she told him.“Do you even know how to use it?” Tenac asked her.“Well, it’s
As Mary got back to her room, both her friends were sitting in the bay window reading. Mary had things she needed to read as well. But she felt like she needed to write her last letter. She wanted to let go of the past. She settled down at her desk and stared down at the empty paper in front of her. This was going to be difficult.‘Dear Anna,I’m so pleased to hear that things are looking up for you. That gives me hope this wave of the sickness will fade as well. I want to thank you for your kind words. They mean so much to me and I will always remember them. I told my father about your kind words, and he was grateful. That brings me to the difficult part of this letter. This is not something which is easy for me to write, or to think about doing. But I feel like it has to be done. Last time I wrote, I was taking the acceptance test to become an aari. Well, as you predicted, I made it and have now moved into the sanctum to start my training. With my training, my lessons with Tenac an
“What did you need to talk about?” Kopa said, as the two of them sat down at the table. “I read the letter you gave me,” Mary started. “And you got upset?”“Not like last time. I’m angry this time, more than I’m sad,” Mary admitted, which earned her a surprised look from Kopa.“I know. Who knew?” she said, laughing at his expression.“So, what advice do you need?”“I think I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I should do it, or if I really want to,” Mary told him. “Okay, can you tell me what made you angry?” Kopa asked.“Do you promise to stay calm?” Mary asked.“I do”“I won’t go into details, but the jest of it is that Zerden told me I was a disappointment for choosing to live my life the way I am. For the choices I have made since coming here,” Mary said, looking at Kopa. He had clenched his jaw and there was a muscle tick above his right eye. But he kept his promise and stayed calm, at least on the surface. It made Mary smile. “Are you okay, dad?”“Fine. The letter was