I watch Mina walk toward us her interest peaked. Her eyes are focused on Golden; she walks next to me and looks at me for a long time. As if she’s asking me what the hell bro? She sits down next to me and looks at Golden for even longer. I can see her little mind working over time.
I open my mouth to say something but she beats me to it.
“Who are you?” she asks Golden still looking at her intently.
“I’m Golden.” Golden says extending her hand to Mina. My little sister looks at her hand and then she looks at me. I smile and she looks back at Golden’s offered hand. She looks Golden in the eyes and then finally decides to accept her hand shake.
“I’m Mina.” She says.
“Nice to meet you.” Golden says looking unfazed.
“How do you know my brother?” Mina asks still curious.
“We go to the same school.” Golden says looking intently at Mina. I guess she’s not backing down.
“Okay” Mina says and then turns to me. “I’m going back to play.” She declares, she waits for me to nod and then she’s off.
I smile glad she has the balls to face Golden because I’m dying on the inside. What do I say? I have thought about this moment so many times. I’ve made up conversations but nothing compares to real thing. This moment right now.
“Wow that was intense.” Golden says and smiles at me.
“You have no idea.” I say feeling her pain. I go through the same inquisition at least twice a day. And I have a feeling I’m going to have another one when we get home about Golden.
“I don’t blame her.” She says looking down at her hands looking shy all of a sudden.
“Oh?” I ask curious.
“’Yeah, if I had a brother I would suss out every girl that comes into his life.” She says and looks back at me.
“You don’t have any brothers?”
“No, I’m an only child.” She says and lies down on the blanket. She looks at me sideways; her eyes look so beautiful in the afternoon light. I swallow hard; I need to get a grip.
“That must be interesting.” I say not really knowing what to say, her being here is throwing me off. And my none existent conversation skills leave me completely.
“More like boring and lonely.” She says her eyes closed.
I take that opportunity to really look at her. I trace my eyes over her perfectly shaped nose, her beautiful lips and her smooth flawless skin.
“That’s why you have so many friends?” I ask staring at her. She opens her eyes and catches me staring at her. I look away quickly and concentrate on Zach and the kids.
“I guess you could say that. Although, lately I’ve had to reevaluate my friendships.” She says and it catches me off guard. I look back at her and find her looking at me.
“Is that why you’re here?” I ask thankful she took the conversation there. I’m dying to know why she’s here. We’re not her usual crowd, what game is she playing?
“I like Zach, he’s so chill. I need that in my life.”She says thoughtful.
“Okay.” I say not really saying what I want to say.
“What?” She asks looking at me intently.
“Nothing.” I say looking away.
“Leo, say what you’re thinking. I can take it.” She says serious.
“I guess I’m just wondering why you’re sitting here with me and not with Zach.” I say regretting the words as soon as they leave my mouth.
But she doesn’t seem to take my words out of turn.
“The truth?” She asks and I nod yes. “I’m curious about who you are.”She says and looks away quickly. She covers her face and makes a sound. “Jeez that sounds so bad, I’m so sorry. Why did I say that? I sound so weird.” She says rolling to her side, hiding from me.
I reach out and roll her back, I peel her hands from her face and she resists.
“No you’re fine. Don’t feel that way.” I say softly pulling her hands away. She opens one eye peaking at me.
“Promise me you won’t ever repeat what I just said to anyone else.” She says holding out her pinky. I interlock her pinky with mine smiling. “Say I promise.” She says giving me a deadly look. She looks so cute right now.
“I promise” I repeat the words.
“Are you two ever going to join the fun?” Zach says behind me and I almost jump out of my skin because I didn’t hear him approach.
“Yes” Golden says standing up so fast and she snatches the water gun out of Zach’s hands and starts spraying us. Zach starts screaming after her, she runs away and I get up running after them.
We run around playing with the kids. We scream our hearts out. Mina and Golden team up against us,
It’s the ladies against the guys. They soak us with the water guns. I surrender when they gang up on me.
“Okay I surrender.” I say to them and they giggle running after Jon and Zach.
I laugh watching the boys run away, they look so happy. I want to stay here forever but I have to get back home so I can get ready for work. I walk back to where our stuff is, I take a moment to commit this scene to memory. I had an amazing day, after a moment I signal Zach and he gathers the kids. He says something to Golden and they join me.
We gather all our stuff and head back to the car.
“Thanks for inviting me.” I hear Golden say to Zach as I load the car.
“Well you told me about this place.” He says as he lets the kids into the car.
“All the same I’m glad you invited me.” She says looking at me. I smile thankful I came. I had an awesome time.
“Well we should get going.” Zach says and gets into the car.
“I can walk you to your car.” I say to Golden.
“Oh thank you. Bye Zach.” She says and he waves from the driver’s seat. She starts walking in the direction of her car. She unlocks her car and opens the door. She hesitates for a moment and then she gets in.
“Well thank you.” she says, I nod and walk away. I don’t know what to do or say.When I get back in Zach’s car and he has this cheesy look on his face. I ignore him.
“Are you going to say the words or am I going to have to peel them out of you?” He says as we leave. I can see Golden’s cars behind us in the side mirror.
“’What words?” I say looking at him finally.
“Oh I don’t know, words like. Zach you were right about Golden and I was wrong.” He says looking smug.
“You were right about nothing. Nothing happened and nothing will happen.” I say loud enough so that I can hear the words too. I don’t want to get my heart broken over nothing.
“Even I know that’s bull” He says looking at the road concentrating. We drive in silence from then on.
Golden I’m sitting with Cole and his friends at a park; we’re just lying around doing nothing really. Everyone is listening to one of Cole’s stories. He’s the center of attention, where he likes to be. Everyone is so engrossed in whatever he’s saying not really contributing anything. I have nothing against him being in the center, it’s just that it’s gotten so old. This is all we do, sit and listen. I tune out thinking about where I really want to be. It’s been about a month since I spent time with Leo and his crew. I wish we could hang out with his siblings and Zach again. Mina and Jon are barely old enough to spell their names but they have more fun than this lot. There really is magic in being a child, maybe that’s why I’m drawn to Zach. He has this fun free spirited, child like quality about him. He doesn’t mind being dumb. Why do I want to spend time with Leo? He seems so mature. I like he doesn’t feel the need to speak just because. He’s comfortable with silence; we live in
I can’t believe Golden is standing in my house, in the same kitchen I make myself food. I see her here but my brain can’t make sense of it. After we had ice cream she walked with us back here. I told her a it’s a long walk hoping she’ll change her mind and go home instead but no. The whole time we were walking I was in my head trying to figure out what’s happening, why does she want to be here with me? I figured maybe she’s curious, a fact that makes me uncomfortable. I wonder if she’s trying to get close to me, find out all she can about me and then expose me to the whole school. I feel like I’m being too trusting, she shouldn’t be here. But there isn’t much I can do now, she’s here. Looking around my house. “We’re going to play.” Mina says already pulling Jon to the door. She doesn’t wait for me to say if they can go or not. “Only for a little while.” I say behind them as they slam the door shut. I move from the kitchen to the bedroom window. From there I can watch the kids play
“So, you hung out with Golden? That’s a development.” Zach says talking too loud for my liking. I look around us to see who’s listening. We’re on the school field to have our lunch, the closest person to us is the school grounds keeper and he’s on the other side. But still, you never know who’s lurking. We’re kicking it alone today because I had to tell someone about spending time with Golden or I’m going to burst. “She didn’t really give me a choice and can you not talk so loud,” I say speaking softly. “What do you mean she didn’t give you a choice?” He asks making a face at me but he lowers his voice. “We had ice cream and she came back home with us. I didn’t invite her, she sort of walked along with us until we got home.” He smiles at my explanation and I already know where this is going. “She was in your house, wow dude. You guys are moving fast.” He says smiling a very sly smile. He wiggles his brows over and over, I cringe inwardly at that. “Not like that. Don’t say that.
“I can’t believe you and Cole broke up.” Amara says sitting across from me, at her favorite restaurant. She wanted to take me out for lunch since I’m going through a tough time. She called me last night telling me to get ready to go out today because she wants to cheer me up. I finally had the courage to tell them that Cole and I are on a break, for two weeks I let them believe that we were working through a small fight. But after 14 whole days of him ignoring me and pretending I didn’t exist at school I had, had enough. I sent Amara and Gina a PSA text and here we are. They are both distraught and concerned for my well-being. “They didn’t break up Amara, they’re on a break,” Gina says a little too loudly. The couple in front of us turns and looks at me with so much pity, I almost feel sorry for myself. I could ask Gina to speak quietly but what’s the point? It’s out there now; the strangers in the restaurant might as well know my business too. “But what does that even mean?” Amara
“I have a favor to ask.” Zach says across from me. I look up at the Ms Swan our English teacher. She doesn’t like talkers in class. She has her back to us but everyone knows she has supernatural hearing. She can tell you who’s talking without even seeing them. It’s like a mutant power, don’t understand what’s so important that Zach can’t wait until lunch. I give him a look to let him know I don’t want to talk right now. He raises his brows at me in question and then he gives me a shoulder shrug. What’s wrong with this dude? Did he forget where we are? Miss Swan doesn’t play. “No,” I say as quietly as possible. I want to tell him we can talk about this at lunch but that’s too many words and Ms Knight will definitely catch me talking if I say anything more than that. “What do you mean no? You don’t even know what the favor is.” He says whispering back at me. Of ‘course he thinks I’m saying no to his request for a favor and not to talk in Ms Swan’s class. I look at him hoping he can
Leo “Are we going out again? This is the second time we’ve gone out this month. I like that.” Mina declares when we get on the bus. We find a seat and get comfortable; we have a two-bus ride ahead of us to get to Zach’s house. This first one is the shortest and the second one will get us a short distance from his house so we’ll have to walk there. And if I remember correctly is a long way, hopefully these two stay excited enough to not notice the distance. I know Mina will be fine; it’s Jon I’m nervous about. He isn’t a great traveler. He gets cranky and wants to go home. “I guess you could say this is an outing. We’re going to Zach’s birthday party.” I say explaining to them where we’re going. I didn’t tell them why we had to wake up early today, because we had to take the bus we had to leave earlier than usual. Mina seems to be game for the unknown. Since the trip we took with Zach and Golden Mina has demanded we go out at least once a month. I know I could have said no to her
“They’re in their element.” I say looking at her. She smiles waving at Mina and Jon; they wave excitedly back at her. “How are you?” She asks looking at me, she’s smiling at me. I wonder if she knows how beautiful her smile is. “I’m alright and you?” I say taken aback by how beautiful she looks. She’s wearing a yellow top and blue jeans. The yellow makes her skin glow in a mesmerizing way. Her long braids framing her face beautifully, they go all the way to her bum giving her a soft look. “I’m good.” She says and starts walking to a table behind us to sit down in a chair. I join her at the table sitting across from her. She looks at me saying nothing. I look away trying to gather my thoughts. What do we talk about now? I never know what to say when she looks at me like that. “Would you like a drink?” I ask her after a long silence. Being next to her always makes my brain switch of. It’s like I can’t think beyond her beauty. Do I sound pathetic? I feel like I sound pathetic. “I
“May we please have some cake? My heart is broken.” Zach says looking up at his mom still lying on the ground. “If you get up from there you’ll get up cake.” She says laughing at him. She knows Zach hates losing and the fact I won; beating the two of them has him pained. “I just want to say that you won by luck.” He says to me, I raise my arms not disputing that fact. If he hadn’t tripped I was going down. There’s no way I would have won against the two of them. Lady luck was on my side. “But a win is a win my friend.” I say and he grunts in disapproval, he gets up and goes into the house. He needs a moment to process his loss and that’s okay. “If everyone would sit down so we can all have some cake.” His mother says and we all find a seat. I welcome the opportunity to sit down because I’m tired. All that running around has me breathing hard. This may be a party game but I think it’s also a sneaky way for parents to get kids to exercise. Golden joins me and my siblings at our tab
21 months later Leo is coming to see me today. I haven’t seen him in over a year. We’ve becoming strangers again and I hate it. I moved to Cape Town and life changed. He stayed behind to make sure that everything is set up with Mina and Jon. He had to make sure that they are settled in boarding school. And he had to make sure that he packs up their apartment before he had to go to military school. At the same time I had moved to a new city and when school started I got hit with a reality check. There was no way I could balance school and a relationship. Everything got so overwhelming for me. I got hit with the harsh reality that I wasn’t in high school anymore. It took a moment for me to adjust to the move and the workload. I had to switch off from my life at home and concentrate on my studies. And finally when we both got on our feet, life was so different. We drifted apart, between the distance and adulting it was impossible for us to find our way back. I wanted to fix the gap a
7 amI’m sitting on a swing chair on the veranda watching the world come alive. Everyone in the house is still asleep. I got up about an hour ago and I’ve been sitting here under a blanket enjoying the smell of the morning air. I watched the last bits of the sunrise and I’m glad I did. What a way to kick off my 18th birthday, I feel reborn almost.I don’t know why but I have this sense of calm about life beyond this point. I was nervous about my final exams, going away to university next year. And I had this fear of what will happen about Leo and I. but now sitting here. I feel no worries; whatever happens will be for the best. I know that we’ll be okay no matter what.I am grateful for having this time with him, Zach, Lana and his siblings. They have given the best send off into adulthood. They gave me the ability to grow up. Wit
“How amazing is this view?.” I say looking out the bedroom window of the air bnb we rented for the weekend. As always Zach hooked us up with an amazing place. He always finds the best accommodation. But this time he outdid himself. He found this little cottage in the middle of Magoebaskloof. We are in the lush green mountains of Limpopo. If I look hard enough I can see the Ebenezer Dam in the distance.The smell of pine is all around us, I find it oddly comforting. It’s not a smell I’m overly familiar with but I like it. I know waking up tomorrow is going to be a joy. The sky is turning orange as the sun is setting. It looks like the perfect painting. The fiery orange of the sun and the lush green of the tree tops meet in the far distance. And the little ink of the water in the distance adds an amazing texture to the view. This is incredible.I find myself amazed at the beauty that’s in South Africa, living i
“Have fun on your trip.” Mr. Brown says to me when I get out of the staff room. I have my overnight bag on one shoulder, my work bag on the other and a bouquet of roses. I want to surprise Golden with flowers when we pick her up.“Thank you. I guess I’ll see you after my exams.” I say smiling at him. He looks so sad right now. He looks like he’s dropping his son off at university. He always gets like this at the end of the year. It’s the longest time we spend apart. I don’t come into work during exam time because I want to focus on doing well. And the only way I can do that is if I don’t have to work.This year is especially important because I’m writing my final exam. I need to be laser focused. I want to pass with distinctions so that my placement in the army is smoother. I want to be one of the top picks. A lot is riding on this.“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Good luck with your exams, don&rs
“Thank you for taking me out tonight.” Golden says smiling at me; she looks so good tonight I can’t stop staring at her. My eyes keep going from her smile, to her eyes and then down to her boobs. I’m grateful we have this table between us because I don’t think I would have been able to keeps my hands to myself.I keep catching myself staring at one or the other. It’s so hard for me to keep up with the conversation because my brain keeps creating images of us that are not appropriate. Well they are not inappropriate really but they are forbidden.I promised myself I would keep my hands off of her but she’s making it impossible in that dress. She looks incredible.“It’s my absolute pleasure.” I say and she smiles that sexy smile again. She takes a sip of her water radiating sexual tension and passion.“You’re taking all the pleasure don’t I get
“Please come in.” Golden’s father says opening the door for me to get in. We shake hands as I walk in. He smiles welcoming me in. this is the first time I’ve come to Golden’s house in official girlfriend capacity.So I’m nervous, usually I have Mina and Jon as my buffer but today I am riding solo.“Thank you, how are you?” I ask him when he closes the door behind us.“I’m well and how are you?” He asks smiling at me. We walk to the living area and sit on the sofa.“I’m good.” I say smiling at him too. He sits back comfortably looking at me closely.“Golden will be down soon.” He says after a moment of silence. The mood is different, it’s not awkward but it’s so much more silent I guess.“No problem.” I say willing myself to be calmer. I don’t want to bring weird energy into the air. This is Golden’s father not a
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zach asks looking at me cautiously. I look from him to Leo who is also looking at me with concern. Its lunch break and we’re sitting on my picnic blanket on the soccer field. Our favorite spot, we come here all the time now. I know we’re going to miss these chilled out sessions when school is over.I mistakenly texted Leo about my run in with Cole and he told Zach of ‘course and now the two of them are concerned that I have suppressed feeling about my ex screaming at me in public. I want to put it behind me, move on with my life. But they think it’s good for me to talk about.I don’t want to for two reasons, the first being Leo and I are together and I hate talking about my ex with him. And two, I’m over all of it.“I’m worried you might have an outburst if you don’t let your feelings out.” Le says and I roll my eyes at him. He laughs when he sees me do it.
3 months into Leo and Golden’s relationshipI stand sitting a few feet my fro car as it’s being washed. I’ve been neglecting it for so long, I had to get it cleaned before the week starts again.My mind drifts to last few weeks I spent with Leo. We finally got into the groove of our relationship. We figured out our boundaries, I took my mother’s advice and talked to him about setting them. I know how far we can take everything and I’ve been having fun discovering what I like with him.I smile thinking about the intimate moments we’ve had. We still haven’t gone all the way yet. I still want to so bad but I’m glad one of us had the sense to wait. We’ve had a chance to get to know each other more without the drama.I’m lucky I’m dealing with Leo; he’s so much more mature than I am. He takes his time to so things and he doesn’t make bi
“Hi, honey.” My mother says as I walk through the door. She’s looking at me with a strange look on her face. I smile at her and she smiles too but she’s still staring at me. She’s looking at me like I’m some stranger or like I’m different. I stop for a moment looking at her. “Hi.” I say walking to the living room where she’s sitting comfortably under a blanket. The house so much warmer than the outside, the weather hasn’t improved since this morning. In fact it’s gotten worse throughout the day; winter is really here. I sit next to her feeling warm and happy; despite the weather outside. I’m still feeling god about what happened with Leo this afternoon.My body feels relaxed and supple. I’ve never had this feeling of bliss before. It feels like I would have the best sleep of my life if I fell asleep right now. I’m still aware of my body and ev