Chapter 23LonelyIvan's wound bled. Right after we entered the house again, I was forced to go out of my reverie because he was already wincing in pain. Doon lang din nagbitiw ang mga kamay namin.Creed treated him on the sofa. Ang sinabi niya noon, maayos na at hindi rin naman niya inda. For a moment, I thought he's able to be left alone because he's healed. Kaya nga nag-alok na rin ako ng annulment. Pero heto siya, ginagamot ni Creed dahil bumuka ang sugat."T-in-arget talaga 'tong stab wound mo, brad. Gusto mo bang lagyan ko rin siya nito, mga fifty times?" Creed asked seriously while dressing Ivan's wound.Malamig siyang binalingan ng kausap. "Don't bother. It's just a waste of time."We were all soaking wet. Hindi naman ako makapagreklamo dahil nag-uusap pa sila. I was shaking because of the cold and I'm afraid it might trigger my flu again. Kahit pakiramdam ko naman, hindi na 'yon babalik."Rigella," Ivan called.Halos mapatalon ako. "Y-Yes?"Nasa tabi lang ako ng kaharap niyang
Chapter 24MelancholyDinaluhan ko si Ice na nakatayo habang hawak ang likod. Ivan was lying on the carpeted floor. Nagmamadali kong hinila ang anak ko at protective na itinabi sa akin."Don't you dare hurt my son, Ivan!" I yelled.My mind was in chaos. Pansamantalang nanahan ang galit sa akin. Ivan rose. Humakbang ako paatras bitbit si Ice."Rigella—" He tried to reach me but I took a step back."You monster! Kahit ang anak natin, hindi mo kayang palagpasin?!" sigaw kong muli."M-Mama!" Ice cried beside me.I looked down to him. He was not shedding tears but he's wincing. Na-realize kong masiyadong mahigpit ang hawak ko sa kaniya. I loosened my hold on him. Lumuhod ako."N-Nasaktan ka ba, Ice? Did Papa hit you? Where? Tell me. Ituro mo—""We were just playing wrestling, Mama. What are you saying?" kunot noo niyang tanong."W-Wrestling?" I stammered.He nodded. "But it's not like what I see in movies because Papa's moves were limp. He didn't hurt me anywhere."He pulled a long face. M
Chapter 25AdamantDid he really think I would believe him and his words? That I will, yet again, yield to whatever lie he's telling me?I watched Ivan packed his clothes... including mine. Tulala lang ako sa isang tabi habang iniisip ang nangyari kagabi. It was a good thing he let go of me. Ang akala ko'y hindi na. And so after that, I ran with the fastest speed I could.Pero nahabol niya ako at dinala sa aming kuwarto. Hindi na rin ako nakapanlaban pa dahil sa pagod hindi lang ng katawan ko kundi pati na rin ng isip. I felt so worn out that I immediately slept right after seeing him settling himself on the sofa to sleep.Hindi sapat sa akin na ginawa niya iyon — na alam niya ang galit ko sa kaniya. I want him to be on the same page with me. I want him to declare our separation. Dahil ako, siguradong-sigurado na.I still love him but unlike before that I keep my quiet even though there's a huge hurricane between us, now it feels like that hurricane crushed my tiny, remaining particle
Chapter 26SignsI kept a stoic look. Is he testing my patience? Puwes, kung pahabaan lang din naman ng pasensiya, hindi ba dapat alam na niyang ako ang panalo sa aming dalawa? After the years of my endurance and faithfulness to him, he should know better.Kaya tama, hindi dapat ako magpaapekto."Fine," mariin kong saad habang pilit ang ngiti.Be thankful that I could see it as an opportunity to my way out.Naisip kong kung nasa labas kami at wala dito na puno ng tauhan, mas mapapadali ang pag-alis namin ng anak ko. Just don't he ever, ever bring his men with us.I stood up. Kaya lang, bago pa lang ako tutuwid ng tayo, umalon na agad ang paningin ko. I tilted my head. Pumikit ako nang mariin.Kumirot bigla ang ulo ko. My vision blurred a bit, too.Pero wala na akong sakit. I'm sure of that.Bakit bigla-bigla naman akong nahilo?"Rigella?" Ivan callec. Abala ako sa pagpawi ng kirot sa ulo at ng hilo na hindi ko na namalayan ang paglapit ni Ivan. He held my arm. Kahit medyo hirap pa, l
Chapter 27UnsaidAbala ako sa paglilibot ng tingin sa lugar mula sa terasa nang may marinig akong pagkabasag. I was startled on my feet. Nagmadali akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay."What's that?" tanong ko sa sarili.Walang katok akong pumasok sa isang kuwartong pinagmulan ng tunog. Naabutan ko si Ivan na hindi maganda ang ekspresiyon habang nagpupulot ng mga bubog sa sahig. He was holding a broken picture frame.Kumunot ang noo ko. "What happened?"He was taken aback. Matagal bago siya nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. He cursed probably when he realized I was really near him."Anong nangyari, Ivan?" ulit ko.He didn't speak a word. Humugot siya ng isang malalim na buntonghininga. Tumigil siya sa kaniyang ginagawa.Laking gulat ko nang humakbang siya nang malalaki papalapit sa akin. He hugged me afterwards. Halos mahigit ko ang aking hininga habang nakabalot ang kaniyang mga braso. My lips parted but no voice came out.Wait... what's this? Is he really hugging me? O hallucination lang 'to?
Chapter 28 Burn Mas tumindi ang pag-iyak ko. He did his best to calm me. Hinimas niya ang aking likod at buhok. He repeatedly said his sorry like tomorrow will not come so he'd rather lose his voice to tell them to me. Ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam. I'm starting to get curious of what he's up to. Binabagabag ako ng dahilan niyang ikasisira ng mundo ko kung sasabihin niya. He's full of mystery. Sino ba siya? Ano bang nagawa ko para maranasan lahat ng 'to sa puder niya? Ano bang kinalaman ko pa sa kaniya maliban sa mag-asawa na lang kami sa papel? Ginigising na kami ng mga pangyayari sa katotohanan. We shouldn't stay together anymore! What went into his head that he's suddenly acting like... he wants me to stay? "Ginawa ko ang lahat. Maniwala ka. 'Wag ka nang umiyak..." he hushed me. Napatigil lang ako sa pag-iyak nang may kumatok sa pinto. Suminghap ako at marahang nagpahid ng luha. The sharp pain didn't leave my chest. Hinawakan ko iyon at sinubukang ayusin ang aking paghinga. I
Chapter 29Special"Gaano tayo katagal dito?" banayad kong tanong habang pinapanood siyang palitan ng benda ang kaniyang sugat sa paa.He treated his wound before dinner last night. Sa umagang ito naman, pinalitan niya dahil may pupuntahan daw kami kasama si Ice. I want to ask if there will be guards around us but I chose not to. "H-Hindi ba masakit ang paa mo?" I asked warily.Isang malaking biro nga yatang maituturing na nagagawa ko pang makipag-usap sa kaniya nang kaswal. After last night, I don't know. Everything seemed to feel lighter.But doesn't mean it affected me, I don't plan on leaving anymore. Hindi. Siguro, nasa sulok lang ng mga iniisip ko ang kagustuhan kong umalis. Nandoon pa rin iyon at hindi nawawala. Lalo pa na mas iniisip ko ang posibilidad na buntis ako.God knows I want to confirm it so bad. Kahit naulit ang pagsusuka ko kanina, gusto ko pa rin ng ebidensiya. I cannot act the way that I did anymore, if it's true.He brought down his foot when he's done. Bukas pa
Chapter 30EmotionsWe left the office when I already cooled down. Naghihintay roon si Ivan na nakahawak ang kamay sa baywang habang ang isa naman ay sa telepono. He turned his back on us when he saw us."I told you no dirty business. Last month was horrible enough. Do something about it!" his voice echoed in the room.I covered Ice's ears when I realized how angry he was although he's trying his best to lower his voice down. Maybe it's his work. Kasasabi lang niya kanina na wala siyang aasikasuhin pero heto siya at namomroblema na.Bumuntonghininga ako."I can't go right now. Do you have your chains on me? I'm always locked like a dog! Fucking spare me just this once!"Sinulyapan ko si Ice na abala sa kaniyang tablet. Good thing I gave it to him earlier."Don't fucking bother me or else, I'll use all the power I have to seize you. You know me, Seis," aniya sa nagbabantang boses.Harshly, he turned the call off. Nahuli ko pang pinatay niya ang kaniyang cellphone.I cleared my throat.