Chapter sixteen: Craving

Alina’s POV:

I slammed the door behind me and collapsed face-first onto the bed, muffling a scream into the mattress. My heart was still racing. My skin, still warm. I hated that he had that kind of effect on me—that I’d lost control in that café and nearly...

“Kaia,” I whispered. “What the fuck was that?”

What was what? Kaia asked, feigning innocence. Her voice was smug and taunting, the kind that gave me goosebumps.

You were releasing your sex appeal, I bit back, my voice sharper than I meant.

I want my mate, Kaia hisses, How could I control myself when he was sitting right in front of me?

I felt anger boil in my chest the longer I listened to her.

You—

Also, don’t say "you." Kaia interrupts cutting me off before I even formed my sentence. That would be putting all the blame on me when you wanted him too.

I almost jumped on a stranger. I stressed the stranger part in case she wasn't getting it

You’re bonded, Kaia replied gently. Your body is reacting to the mark—and to him. That’s natural.

“Natural?” I snapped. “I nearly jumped a complete stranger. That’s not natural.”

Alina, it wasn’t about the stranger. she bit back, It was about him. You were thinking about Valerian. That pull you feel—it’s instinctive. The bond recognizes him, even if your mind doesn’t want to. That only happened because you can’t accept the fact that you want him. You were looking for a second option. I’m telling you now, that is not possible. she bit back

He’s a freaking vampire. And I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that Lycans and vampires don’t get along.

He’s our mate, she wince, given to us by the goddess. And I’m sure she knows exactly what she’s doing, giving us such an exceptionally handsome mate. Tell me you didn’t like his fingers on you.

Ha... That’s it. I'm sure my Lycan has lost it

I shoved Kaia to the back of my mind, slamming the mental door shut. Her thoughts went quiet, finally. She was clearly acting like she’d been starved of affection for centuries or sex deprived it was either one of them or being mated to have vampire has completely made her lose it

Without Kaia's thoughts I was enveloped in silence, the silence should have been peaceful, but without her noise, I was left alone with my own spiraling thoughts. My heartbeat kicked up again. I kept trying to breathe—to slow it all down—but nothing was working. it was supposed to, breathing slowly to calm myself down, but it wasn't working

It would, if I could just stop thinking about the fact that I was mated to a vampire. That I almost lost control.

H...how?

How could I?

I’ve never lost control.

But that seemed to be all I’d been doing since the moment I met him

I tried again, taking deep breaths as my thoughts seemed to spiral out of control, it would work if I could just put a lid on my thoughts

Yes. I wasn’t going to think about it

I flipped onto my back and stared at the ceiling, breathing in through my nose and out through clenched teeth. My fingers drifted to the mark just beneath my collarbone, tracing the edges through my shirt. It throbbed—not painfully. Just... persistently

“Well, this sucks,” I muttered, grabbing the nearest pillow and smashing it over my face. “It really sucks.”

It’ll settle, I told myself. With time.

Time.

Right.

My mind drifted off to thoughts about Valerian, the way he saved me from the brick of death even though he was partly the reason I got to death door in the first place, the way he stared at me while I was eating, and the way he threatened to kill everyone if I don't keep my allure in check, the way he stared at me was wild—and somehow, I didn’t hate it.

That was the worst part. I didn’t hate it.

Goddess, I needed help

A knock echoed on the door. Not loud. Just two soft taps. I tensed at first, but slowly relaxed when I figured out it was him, I would have smelled him if it was

I didn’t move. Maybe if I stayed quiet, whoever it was would get the hint and leave. Right now I'm not in the state of mind to talk to anyone, it's not like the group I'm traveling with is very fond of me and neither am I, who would love travelling with someone you hate, okay hate is a strong word but still, it'll be easier if we weren't walking on egg shells

The knock sounded again, more persistent than the last, which made me release a groan

I sighed, dragging myself upright. My limbs still felt heavy, like I’d been fighting off sleep I didn’t remember falling into. I smoothed my hair and opened the door.

A girl stood on the other side, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, I stared, confused, looking at her to ensure I wasn't seeing things, there was no girl in the group I traveled with

She was definitely a vampire. That much was clear from her scent.

Her blonde hair was braided tight down her back, a few wisps escaping to frame a sharp face. She looked like she could break bones for fun—and maybe had. But her expression wasn’t hostile. Just curious.

“You’re Alina,” she said, it wasn’t a question I noticed but a statement

I blinked. “Yeah. And you are...?”

“Cerys,” she replied, pushing off the wall. “I work with Valerian. Or under him, depending on who you ask.”

That earned her a raised brow from me, what does she mean by under him

“Not like that,” she added dryly, clearly used to the look, if she was then she should stop phrasing it that way “Strategist. Tracker. The usual, I was away on a mission when you joined”

“Oh.” that answered my previous question

She gave me a once-over, eyes lingering on my still-disheveled shirt and the faint line of the mark beneath it. “You’ve had a long day.”

I snorted. “That’s one way to put it.”

She smiled faintly. “Come on. You look like you could use something stronger than a bed. Kitchen this way.” she said standing up straight, no longer putting her strength on the wall

“I’m not really hungry.”

“I didn’t say food.”

I followed before I could think too hard about it. Her pace was unhurried, confident.

“So...” I ventured, “do you always welcome new guests like this?” casual conversations with a Lycan wasn't normal, and I couldn't detest any hatred from her, plus I could really use a girl around here

Cerys gave a short laugh. “Only the ones who don’t look like they’re going to run screaming in the next five minutes.”

“Great. I’m already special.”

“You have no idea.” I hummed, deciding to ignore what other meaning she was implying