Chapter 6

I am in the bedroom now while lying alone in my bed. It was like this bed and my room is my escape zone from everything. I can do what I want. I can cry on my pillow, get excited as I see my idols performing on stage and receiving their awards, writing my unidentified feelings and emotions I feel, and I can be crazy for watching funny videos and other stuffs just to make myself happy.

These are just the things and acts I can't show to other people. It was hidden just for myself, and I dont want them to see that side of me.

Maybe I'm overreacting and judgmental for prejudging people who didn't saw it yet. They say, think ahead. But I am like that. It was like overthinking of things over and over again until you get tired of what you are thinking because you can not find an answer.

And I can't just be like that.

I remember what Ethan told me. That I am not the way I am. I am not showing my true self to others.

Maybe he's right. I'm not like this before. I want to make fun and just play around with my so-called friends back then. They were my neighbors and also my classmates.

But things just don't go that way. Not everything is like that. There are things that need to let go.

And one of them are my old friends. They're very bad to me that I find it toxic to be with them. That as time goes by, they can be dangerous if I stay with them. That I loss them.

My childhood is like a rollercoaster ride. I felt happy and broken at the same time. I lost my happiness that I felt before. From my family and my friends whom I trusted the most.

My phone immediately rang and saw the unregistered number calling me. I would not have answered it but someone motivated me to answer it.

I sighed before answering the call.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, ma'am Valdez." said the voice on the other line. Its female voice is commonly heard in hotels.

"Yes, who is this?" tanong ko.

"Mr. Valdez wants you to attend the family dinner this coming Sunday."

" What?"

" Sorry ma'am, but your father said it so. I will send you the details." she said and suddenly hang up.

I don't know what to do anymore. They knew. I know dad give me some time to live with this simple life but why did he manage to invite me to a family dinner when in the first place, I don't want to be with them.

I know, I may be sound rebel but these things don't matter to me anymore. I just want to get rid of their expectations and disappointments if I do things that they don't like.

I will not attend though.

I just went out and thought of drinking milk when I heard Tita's voice in the living room. I glanced at it and saw she has a visitor.

She's been very busy than usual. Sometimes sh comes home late or maybe the next day. I wonder what she's been doing from her job. She's a secretary of a well known CEO who still goes here but she also needs a rest though.

"Auntie," I called when I saw her enter the kitchen. He smiled at me and I noticed his eyebags.

"Sir Waltridge is here with his son, Jane. Can you help me take care of them?" She said. I nodded before consuming the remaining milk I had made.

"Give them coffee," she said.

I followed and brewed coffee for the guests. Why all of a sudden would these people visit our house? Maybe that's just important.

When I finished, I took it and headed to the living room where the guests were. Their back is facing me around as they sat on our sofa that's why they did not notice me. When I got closer, I immediately put the tray with the brewed coffee and slice bread. I looked up suddenly when I first landed on the man I did not expect to see.

"J-james?"

"Oh, you're living here?" he said smiling as he looked excited. We fixed me and looked at the man next to him.

"Good evening Sir Waltridge." I greet Tita's boss.

"Good evening too, hija." Tita's boss looks kind so I'm comfortable with him somehow. I just did not expect to see the man I bumped into back then when I ate halo-halo with Aling Dahlia.

"You knew my son?" Sir Waltridge asked with a smile that surprised me.

Is this man his son?

"Yes, dad. That beautiful lady is the one I've been looking for." James answered that made my heart beat faster. It was like a whisper yet 

"A-ah, it's just a coincidence, we don't really know each other." I replied.

"Oh, I see."

Tita came to say that they're going to eat. I refused because I did not know why my heartbeat suddenly quickened. I just said that I'm going to bed.

I was about to go up when suddenly someone took my hand. I looked at it and at the person holding me. It was as if I was constantly palpitating because my heart was beating so fast. I don't have a tow but why do I feel this unexplained heartbeat?

"Are you okay, Jane?" James questioned worriedly I immediately removed his grip.

"Yes. I'm perfectly fine. And don't call me by my name. We're not friends." After that I went up to calm my heart.

What's happening to you Jane?

***

The room is very noisy after I entered. It was like our room became a concert hall. Even though I like what music they played, I can't keep up. I'm not in the mood because I don't think I slept because of the unexpected thoughts last night.

Why didn't I go to bed early? I'm so tired and dizzy right now. I just sat in my chair and sank.

"Jane, awake." I was overwhelmed by that voice. I slowly lifted when I saw Cheska and Zaine next to me. They smiled as I my vision became clear.

"Sorry."

"Jane, class's over. Let's go and eat." Cheska whispered so I stood up.

Recess?

"The teachers didn't came, let's use their time to review." I just nodded. Fortunately, the teachers did not notice me sleeping.

The 4th grading exam is coming up and our assignments are very hectic. Loaded outputs, projects and many activities are required to be passed. We no longer have time to review for the exam.

"After our exams and activities, we will move up." I could feel the excitement in Cheska's voice as she said that. We are going to the canteen today.

"Yeah," Zaine replied shortly.

I looked at Cheska. Did she say anything about her parents? She looks happy but it looks like something is wrong.

I was just shaken by the thought and greeted our companions when we reached the canteen. John and Ethan were there talking seriously while the others I did not see.

"Hey, where are the others?" Cheska asked as she sat down. I leaned over her while Zaine was on the other side of it. I was facing Ethan with a mischievous smile while the person he was talking to earlier John just looked coldly at me.

It looked intimidating so I avoided it. Even with a beautiful complexion and blue eyes, you can see its beauty. I just don't know why he doesn't speak frequently with us.

Luke and Clifford arrived with Chelsea carrying food. They were probably the first to come here so they ordered our food.

"John, how's your vacation last month?" Luke asked smiling as he sat down next to John. Clifford was next to him on the other side. Zaine and I put Chelsea in the middle just smiling. "You vacation early, did you have a date on Valentines?" it adds.

"Fuck off," our companion said sparingly and coldly. Luke just laughed next to him.

We started eating while my companions and I were talking. We are full of laughter so sometimes, I just notice someone watching our behavior.

"Sorry, I'm late." We looked at the perso as he approached. He sat down next to me with a smile.

"We're moving up soon, guys. What are your plans for this vacation?" Nathan asked as he picked up the food in the middle.

"Yes, what's the plan?" said Clifford. I frowned. What's up? Ethan noticed that so he answered.

"Every vacation we go together for vacation, depending on who will volunteer."

I just nodded in response.

"We'll just there with Zaine. You have a rest house, right?" Luke turned to Zaine when he asked that. He just nodded in response. "We didn't go there."

"It's fine with me." Zaine agrees.

"Game."

"We still have 1 month to prepare. Don't be excited Luke." Clifford blocked his friend.

"Just nothing left." Chelsea replied. Unconsciously, I looked at Cheska next to me. She just smiled and was quiet ever since. This is not her usual habit.

We had already finished our meals when the bell rang so we went back to the room.

I would have been with Chelsea and Cheska today in case they were called. They led me to the room.

I feel like being with them is much more comfortable than my friends before. It felt unrealistic that I want to be with. It's just like my imagination that when I get back to reality they will disappear.

It's been 2 months yet I feel attached to them. In that short time I found a friend, real friends I could lean on.

They're happy to be with and I'm comfortable to them. I am unfamiliar to most but not to them. I can't even ride their jokes but they don't make me feel that I'm out of place.

And that's what I'm grateful of.

I just smiled by the thought.

When I got to the room suddenly someone called me. "Jane!" She even gasped in front of me. "Someone is looking for you."

"Huh? Who is it?" I was suddenly nervous for no apparent reason. She motioned for me to leave the room. She was just walking towards a place I did not know.

"Wait, where are we going?" the woman who called me did not answer me. She just walked straight as if she had not heard my question.

I would have repeated my question when she stopped and looked at me from head to toe. I also stopped immediately.

"A rich woman who was popular student here before." That was her only answer that surprised me.

Will she not say the name?

We reached the office of our Math instructor Ms. Santos. What are we doing here?

My classmate opened it because I can't remember her name. I went in when I saw the woman behind me talking to our Math instructor.

Familiar behind it that makes me more nervous.

"Oh, you're here, Jane." Ma'am mumbled when she saw me. It was only then that the woman with her looked at me and I stopped at her position.

I seem to have jumped on the stand when I realized this woman I am with.

"Mom."