I stare outside the window watching my mate while he trains the new enforcers. This is how it has been since the night his wolf mated me.
He doesn’t allow me to be near him, not being able to keep his disgust for me so this is the only way I can look at him. He is serious as he throws instructions here and there but you can also see clearly that he is proud.
His hands folded around his chest while his legs are at a stance, he looks formidable but at the same time handsome and dashing with his jet black hair, and grey eyes that always seem to penetrate your soul.
He has a square jaw fit for a model. He has the perfect set of white teeth and kissable lips that make you imagine the dirty things he can do with them.
He also the most beautiful smile I have ever seen though it is usually not directed at me. He is a real life, breathing Adonis on earth.
The serious look can’t take away his handsomeness nor can it take away the obvious patience and affection he has towards his enforcers.
Xavier really isn’t a bad person, yes he is arrogant and bossy and possessive and hard sometimes but he is also loyal to the ones he loves, and his love is fierce and strong, the only problem is that none of those good traits have ever been directed towards me.
What I get from him is hatred, irritation and hardness. Looking at us you wouldn’t even believe that we are fated mates, or that I am expecting his child.
I am about five months pregnant and unlike what most people commonly believe, werewolves pregnancy last nine months just like humans, and not the four months cringe worthy novels usually write about.
To say I am excited to be a mother and meet my baby would be the biggest understatement, because I am dying to meet him, he is the only one that I know would love me because nobody else does.
Xavier doesn’t know what we are having but I know he doesn’t even care. He never talks to me and he has never bothered to ask about the baby.
While other pregnant she-wolves have supportive mates there with them during the appointments I have no one since he doesn’t bother showing up even after I have left him notes telling him of my doctor’s appointment.
All I can hope is that even if he hates me, he won’t hate our son, but it doesn't matter because I will love him with all my being and even if his father doesn’t want to, I still will do.
I leave my room and go down stairs planning to go to the forest for a walk. I read that it’s good for the baby and since I can’t shift and run or hunt, walking is the only option.
In my hurry I don’t look where I am going so I bump into someone I go to apologize only to find the former Luna looking at with nothing but disgust and annoyance.
Did I forget to mention that I am hated in this pack, not only for what happened in the past but also for forcing their beloved alpha into a mating he did not want by getting myself pregnant? But most especially hated by his family.
“If it weren’t for the fact that you are carrying my grandchild I would have ripped out your black heart and fed it to the rogues” you can clearly hear the venom and hate dripping from her voice.
I hang my head and mumble a sorry because what is there else to say. I came to realize a long time ago that you cannot change the opinions of others about you and haven’t I been living with their hate since I was ten years old? So it isn’t that new to me anymore.
“Gods, you are pathetic, I wonder what the moon goddess saw in you in order to pair you with my son, and you are nothing but a low life murderer who shouldn’t have existed in the first place because all you do is make us miserable especially my son. My only prayer is that my grandchild won’t inherit any of your disgusting personality or character”
"That was uncalled for, you can speak whatever you want about me but leave my baby alone" I murmured, hurt that she would say what she just did.
"Your baby? can you hear yourself? you wouldn't even have a baby if you had not shameless seduced Xavier's wolf" she pulls back her lips in a snarl making me take a step back.
If it wasn't for the fact that I was carrying her grandchild, I was sure she would have throttled me.
"I didn't seduce anyone...least of all Ace...he is a powerful wolf, so how could a wolfless insignificant person like me be able to seduce hime?" I ask her, because it was the damn truth, I never seduced him.
"How would I know the techniques a slut like you used? because that's what you are...a disgusting, shameless slut"
with that she leaves me standing at the foyer with tears swimming in my eyes refusing to fall down.
I was used to the ugly words but that doesn’t mean that they still don’t hurt me, that they don’t break a part of me on the inside, because they do, they break me into a million pieces each and every fucking time.
I should have left the pack years ago but I had nowhere else to go so I stayed instead, with hopes that things would get better in time but they never did, they actually got worse the older I became.
I rush outside and hurry to the forest because the last thing I need is people seeing me crying because it would just lead to more mockery pain. When I do finally reach my destination I let the tears fall.
The pain tears through me like an avalanche and I can’t seem to control it. I fall on my knees and just cry letting the tears fall freely. There was no cure for what was happening to me, no way to numb it so I just had to pull through.
I walk through the forest, towards a cliff that overlooks a waterfall and just stand there. I contemplate jumping and just ending it all including my baby, because my greatest fear is him growing up being hated and despised because of me, not only by his own father but also by the pack.
I don’t want him to live the way I did. I can hear my wolf being against the idea of us ending our lives in addition to that of our baby but I am beginning to get tired of everything.
But then again, wouldn’t doing that make me into the selfish bitch they claim I am? And how can I end the life of a baby I already love so much, more than anything else in this world? I couldn’t do that and so I stepped away from the edge and turned around to go back into the forest.
Taking my time because I am not dying to go back to a place everyone loathes me and wishes me nothing but death and torture in the pits of hell.
The sun was starting to set but I wasn’t bothered by it, why would I when I was within the pack borders. Our pack was the largest and strongest pack with Xavier not only being one of the youngest alphas but also the most powerful and given that our enforcers being trained by Xavier himself and were deadly, no one dared to attack the pack.
But for some reason I was starting to get an uneasy feeling, the hairs at the back of my neck rose and so did my wolf’s hackles. I felt as if I was being watched, monitored and not in the sense of enforcers, this was something else, something more deadly, something sinister. I turned around in circles trying to see if I could pinpoint the source but I saw and heard nothing.
Getting nothing after some time, I chalk it up to paranoia and just continue towards the pack house but this time in a hurry because I still felt a bit uneasy and that is definitely not a feeling a pregnant woman should be experiencing.
I heave a sigh of relief when I get to the pack house and like always I use the back door to get into the house. I try to avoid the rest of the pack because like I said I don’t want to experience their hateful glances.
I enter the house and go straight to my bedroom. I was the luna of the pack and so I should have been sharing the alpha’s bedroom in the alpha section but that wasn’t the case, I was in furthest and the most secluded room in the pack house because according to Xavier, h didn’t want to see my disgusting face every morning when he woke.
It hurt at first but I soon made it my sanctuary a place I could feel safe and secure. I take a shower to wash off the dirt and then after putting my clothes on I head to the kitchen for something to eat.
When I enter the kitchen I stop dead at the entrance, frozen to the roots because standing there kissing another woman is Xavier. I want to take off my eyes from them but I can’t.
He holds her so gently like she is porcelain, precious and breakable. I hear the woman moan at the same time Xavier releases a groan, a groan of pure pleasure and ecstasy, as if he was thirsty and the woman in his arms was his first pure drink, his salvation.
As if they sense me, they reluctantly release each other and turn towards me, Xavier’s portraying his annoyance at being interrupted. I turn to look at the woman and if I thought that my heart broke at seeing Xavier kissing another woman well I would be wrong because the pain I feel right now is way worse, it’s the worst.
I can feel my heart shattering, and bleeding on the floor while they look at me with no regret at all because the woman in his hands is none other than my long lost sister, Bianca Solace. Could my life get anymore fucked up?
