The next few weeks it is the same thing over and over again. Sometimes the pain comes during the day but it is mainly at night.
It leaves behind souvenirs in the form of black, blue and purple bruises, sometimes it is a combination of all the colors. I don’t need a doctor to tell me what they are because I already know them from the books we have in our library.
They are known as betrayal marks and they occur to a werewolf when their mate betrays their shared bond by having intercourse with another after the male has marked and mated the female.
No one has to guess why it is happening to me because it is so obvious, Xavier has been and is having sex with my sister.
The pain hits me every single day and at times I have to turn on my music system at a high volume just to drown out my screams. The pain is always so intense, each one being stronger and severe than the previous one.
I’ve taken to wearing long sleeves so that the maids bringing me food don’t have something to gossip about to the rest of the pack.
The pain plus being locked up with no sunlight light has been driving me crazy, literary. Each day I spend in this room I feel my sanity slip little by little.
There is no way to hide from the pain, nothing I have tried has helped and believe me I have tried everything, well almost everything.
The pain is liquid fire burning through my veins, that’s the best way I could describe and damn it, it fucking hurts.
I feel my body weakening as days go by and it takes all my strength just to get up from the bed and go to the bedroom.
It has been hard for me to sleep only being able to sleep for less than three hours each day. I now rock dark circles under my eyes. Plus there are the nightmares I keep getting every single time I close my eyes.
Destruction and death are usually the main theme of my nightmare. I always see it so clearly, feel it as if I was living it in real life, the destruction of this pack and the end of the world. So many lives lost, children, women and men. Body parts scattered all around me.
The ground is usually drenched in blood but what I hate most is seeing Xavier dead, his head severed and vacant grey eyes staring at me.
I always wake up shaking and drenched in sweat, unable to shake the images of my dream from my mind, and always almost immediately after the dream the pain hits me.
And while I curl up on my bed writhing in pain I wonder why I was even worried about my dreams coming true, about the world ending, about Xavier dying when I haven’t received anything good from them.
Why should I even care about them, when it seems like he and the world are trying to bring me to the grave early.
The door to my room opens, interrupting my thoughts while at the same time revealing Sophie, my former best friend.
We haven’t talked since she turned eighteen and met her mate who turned out to be the beta and who is also Xavier’s best friend.
When she realized that Jayden was her fated mate she ditched me, afraid that the pack would turn on her and reject her as the female beta because she associated herself with me. Which was dumb given they already knew she was the only friend I had.
“You look like shit”
Can you believe those were the first words she tells, without even realizing what I am doing I take the closest thing next to me which turns out to be a lamp and I throw it at her, given her werewolf reflexes she ducks avoiding being hit square in the face, which makes me even more pissed.
“Have you come to gloat Sophie? To look at the pathetic state I am in so you can go and tell the rest of the pack? have something to gossip while you're sipping tea together” I ask her.
“No, I ….” She tries to say but I interrupt her, not wanting to hear anything that comes out of her mouth.
She was my friend, the only one I had in this pack, and she promised me that she would always be there for me no matter what, but she abandoned me because she wanted the approval of the rest of the pack.
How am I supposed to get past that and talk to her like she didn’t betray me?
“Did the pack put you up to this? They wanted an inside story of how I was suffering so they sent you right? To get all the juicy story so they can have something good to laugh at, well take your fill”
“That’s not it, I just…”
“Get out! Right now!” I tell her, I don’t mean to shout at her but I am so done, and so tired, tired of everything.
“Amelia, just listen to me”
“I don’t want to hear a thing you have to say, anything that comes from your mouth is bound to be vile, just go to the pathetic new friends you now have and the mate and pack that you carelessly threw away our friendship for”
“Just listen please, I am begging you”
“I told you to leave, just leave already I don’t want you here!”
I pick one of my books and chuck at her head and like before she just ducks but she gets the message and after staring at me for a few seconds she finally leaves but not before telling me that she would be back later.
I feel so unhinged, so crazy and so out of control.
I take the other bedside lamp and flip it but that isn’t enough. So I take the next thing and the next thing and trash my room. I fall on the carpet near my bed and just cry.
Pain filled agonizing cries. I look at my room and everything is destroyed, my books are torn along with my sheets and duvet, my chair and desk are flipped, curtains torn and vases broken making my room look like a hurricane had just passed through it.
‘They all hate you, no one wants you here’ the voices start whispering again just like before.
I had already forgotten about them choking it up to paranoia but here they were again, driving me crazy.
‘They all want you dead, they wish you were dead’
‘You are nothing but an insignificant weak woman’
‘Why don’t you just end it, end your pathetic life, the world would be better without you’
“Shut up, just shut up!”
I say to no one in particular since I am all alone in the room, but they just keep on getting louder making it impossible for me to shut them out. I scream trying to drown out the voices and the hissing but it doesn’t work.
They taunt and mock me, making it hard to even breathe. If I had thought the words and taunts that were directed at me by the pack members were hurtful then I was wrong because these ones were way worse.
Cutting me deep to my core leaving me bleeding from multiple cracks. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse the pain from Xavier sleeping with Bianca begins ,making me drop on all fours screaming and crying my heart out.
I don't understand how he would do this to me, why am I even asking the reason for his behavior? when it is as clear as day that he doesn't want, that he would rather I die.
The pain is torture and I wouldn't have wished this on anybody else not even my worst enemy.
‘Can you feel that? Xavier is making love to Bianca’
‘We know and see everything, and they are in heaven right now’
‘Moaning each other’s name over and over again’
‘Did you know that your mates shouts Bianca’s name when he reaches his climax’
‘Oh you should see him thrusting in and out of your sister it’s like a form of art’
“Please, no more, no more, I can’t take it”
my tears flow like twin rivers down my cheek while the voices all around me laugh maniacally, clearly enjoying my suffering.
It is pure torture hearing of their sexual exploits. I don’t know for how long I have been on the floor but the pain soon fades leaving behind only a dull pain, though the voices keep taunting me but all of a sudden it is quite.
I look up only to find glowing red eyes staring at me and then I feel a sharp pain across my stomach.
“Soon my queen” I hear a deep and rich voice say just as I faint all the while hoping that my baby boy is fine.
