Disappointed
Tahimik lang kaming dalawa habang nanonood ng tv.
I didn't bother to speak or talk to him because I'm still annoyed. He told me a while ago that he's jealous about me and Vaughn, pero ang lakas ng loob n'yang kumain kasama si Vanessa.
Nakakainis lang dahil maya't maya ko na s'yang iniisip. Hindi ko maiwasang maguluhan.
"Who are you texting?" pag usisa n'ya habang magkatabi kami ngayong nakaupo dito sa sofa.
"Si Vaughn. He's inviting me for a lunch tomorrow," pagsisinungaling ko para mas lalo s'yang mainis. The truth is, naghahanap ako ng pagkain na pwedeng ipa-deliver dahil tinatamad akong magluto.
"Liar," sagot n'ya na hindi ko namalayang nakasilip na pala sa ginagawa ko.
"You don't need to order. I already cooked something. It's enough for us," banggit n'ya bago ito tumayo para tingnan yung niluluto n'ya sa kusina.
Gusto ko sanang matuwa sa sinabi n'ya pero pinigilan ko na la
DrownedI can't freakin' believe that he's asking me for a date. Kagabi ay panay text s'ya sa akin. I didn't bother myself to reply because I'm still annoyed and at the same time, surprised. Hindi ko rin magawang makatulog ng maayos kaya alas diyes na ng umaga ako nagising. Nang lumabas ako ng kwarto, nakita ko s'ya sa kusina habang pinapakain si Callie."Good morning," bati n'ya kung kaya't hindi ko maiwasang manibago. Instead of talking to him, I went to the table to eat my breakfast. There was a pancake and oatmeal there."About last night, I just want to apologize," banggit n'ya pa na nakapagpaalala sa akin sa lahat ng nangyari. I was hit by a lot of realizations last night. Bumalik sa isip ko kung anong mundo nga ba ang meron kami ngayon.I have no clock birthmarks at hindi ako sigurado kung nasa parehong sitwasyon kaming dalawa."Why do you ask me for date? Is it because of my mom's request? Or is it because you felt
InconsistentI wandered my eyes around the moment I became conscious. The first thing that I saw was the unfamiliar white ceiling. There are typical furnitures like bedside table, chair and a small painting hanging in the cream wall. There is also a window facing to the hall and one facing outside. It was late for me to realize that I'm here in the hospital."Nurse, call the doctor! My daughter is awake," I heard mom's voice as she came to my direction. Her pair of worried eyes was really visible.Out of too much curiosity, I asked."Ano pong nangyari?" nagtatakang tanong ko na ngayon ay medyo nahihirapang magsalita. Wala akong ibang maalala kundi 'yong nangyari sa loob ng kotse.Alton kissed me. I was with him because we'll have a date. Paano ako napunta dito sa hospital?Sa kalagitnaan ng pag iisip, may lumapit naman sa aking isang doctor. He immediately checked my pulse rate and heartbeat. Maya maya ay pumasok na
PatienceKahapon rin ay ibinalik n'ya sa akin si Callie. I told him that we need to talk because I wasn't able to understand what he told me during the phone call. Maybe it was just a kind of misunderstanding."Just forget about me," paglilinaw n'ya sa akin.Hindi na ako nakapagsalita at hinayaan ko na lang s'yang makaalis. That night, I was really thinking what the hell happened before I passed out. Sa tingin ko ay hindi naman magiging ganito ang treatment n'ya sa akin kung walang nangyari.I admit that the excitement inside me every time that I'll go home faded. Pakiramdam ko ay may kulang sa apartment namin dahil wala s'ya. I can't help myself but to cry because of what he did to me. Umasa ako sa kanya kahit na madalas pabago bago ang treatment n'ya sa akin. I don't know if he's doing that for a purpose para paulit ulit na guluhin ang isip ko.If that's the case, then he won. Even if I forc
PeaceKakatapos lang namin mag usap ni tita Mirae tungkol sa plano para sa birthday ni Aziel. After tita left, I heard the sound of a thunder—a sign that it will probably rain.Hindi ako pumayag na magpahatid sa driver niya. I told her that I still need to go to minimart to have a grocery. She told me that she really want to cancel her appointments right now so she can be with me the whole day only if it's not something important.Naiintindihan ko naman.Besides, I do really appreciate her effort for making time for her son's upcoming birthday despite her busy schedule.Pagkatapos kong mag-grocery, nag abang na kaagad ako ng taxi para makabalik ng apartment kung hindi lang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan. I've waited for almost thirty minutes but still, the rain didn't stop. I have no choice but to call Aziel."Just stay there. Magdadamit lang ako,"Nandito ako sa waiti
Interconnected"I'm glad you listen to the song earlier," sambit ni Vaughn na ngayon ay nakababa na ng stage at nakaupo sa harap ko ngayon. My lips are still a bit parted because I can't hide the amazement I felt right now.Who wouldn't?His voice is very spellbinding. I can't deny the fact that until the last verse of the song, my attention was all in him. I don't want to cut the stares between us simply because I don't want to miss the feeling watching him sang those beautiful melodies.Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Maski sarili ko ay hindi ko rin magawang maintindihan."That song earlier, what's the title?" I asked after sipping the pomegranate juice we ordered earlier."I don't know," my brows furrowed in confusion after hearing his answer. Bakit hindi n'ya alam?"It's my original composition so I haven't think yet of a
Secretive"Relle, pagpasensyahan mo na si Aziel. He's very short-tempered," pag alo sa akin ni Lissy habang nakahalukipkip ako dito sa likod ng kotse ng pinsan ko. Kung alam ko lang na ganito pala ang mangyayari, sana ay nagpasundo na lang ako kina mommy kanina."Wala bang nababanggit sa'yo si Aziel, Lis? I don't see any other reasons kung bakit galit na galit s'ya kay Alton," sagot ko. Naiinis ako kung bakit kailangan pang umabot sa ganito ang lahat. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit n'ong una pa lang ay ayaw na ng pinsan ko sa kanya."I think he's mad at Alton because of you, Relle. You're crying back then because of him right? Naabutan ka namin sa apartment mo noon," paliwanag naman nito na mas lalong nakapagpasama ng timpla ng mukha ko.Whatever happens between me and Alton, he's out if it. Ayoko ng napapaaway s'ya o nagkakaroon ng issue dahil sa'kin.Besides, I know what I am doing. Choice ko naman na maghabol at ma
ControlTwo days ago, I lost my consciousness again for the second time. My mom was sickly worried about it kaya't pinalipat muna n'ya sina Aziel at Lissy sa apartment ko para may kasama ako. Hindi na ako nagprotesta pa. Maging si daddy ay 'yon rin naman ang sinabi sa akin.Aziel's birthday is on Saturday that's why I made sure that I'll not be busy doing any kind of schoolworks during that day. Kanina rin ay nagluto si Lissy. I told her that I'll just bring packed lunch dahil time consuming kung hihintayin ko pa sila bago makakain sa cafeteria."Sure ka na hindi ka sasama, Amorelle? Final na 'yan?" pag uulit ni Thamara na ngayon ay nakasukbit na ang shoulder bag. Kakatapos lang ng panghuling subject namin bago maglunch break."Yep. Thank you sa notes,""No prob. Basta yung request ko, ha?" kinikilig na tugon nito. I don't know if she's serious about it. Gusto kasi n'yang ipakilala ko s'ya kay Vaughn ma
BirthmarksI wandered my eyes around right after I turned on the lights again. The theme of this room is black—curtains, quilts, sleeping pillows, slippers and mats all have similar colors. There are also beautiful murals on the walls, hand painted by someone who's really professional on arts.I went closer to it only to see it's every little detail. There were exactly seven paintings. All have the same sizes except on the other one. The subjects of the painting are all abstract. It's really heard to interpret its meaning maybe because I am not knowledgeable enough when it comes to this matter.I'm sure that this is Alton's room. I wonder if he's also the one who made those paintings.Wala na akong nakita pang kakaiba rito sa kwarto. Bukod sa malawak at mabango, mga murals lang talaga ang mabilis na nakakaagaw ng pansin.It's been an approximately ten minutes since Alton left but still, I
Alton AlvidarezThey say that the fate's decision will always win. You will not fall in love with someone who wasn't meant for you.Aside from having a different clock birthmarks, fate was not in favor of your relationship.No matter how much you tried.No matter how much you force things to happen.There's this feeling that I couldn't ever explain the first time I saw Azalea. She's a special girl that every man would fell for. I was beyond happy because she was the one meant for me.Not until my paths crossed with this total stranger.The first I saw her; I admit that I was completely damn star struck. I can't get my eyes away from her. I can't help but to smile and admire every little thing every time I was given a chance to see her image. The way she moves, talks and the way her small eyes glittered in joy admiring the beautiful dress that she's wearing.Time came when I often dreamt about her. I ke
Goodbye"What do you think is the worst part of living?" I remember myself asking this similar question to my cousin. My head ached a bit that's why I used his arms so I can have an alternative pillow.He never complained, as if he can't do anything to stop me."What's with the sudden question?" his brows furrowed. I took a heavy sigh before glancing at the group of twinkling stars that almost dominates the sky. I am not fond of astrological things but the view was a breath taking panorama, I must say."I just want to know what's the point of living when all of us will die anyway?" I mumbled. Nagulat naman ako nang higitan niya ang braso niya kung saan nakapatong ang ulo ko. Bumangon siya mula sa pagkakaupo pagkatapos."Why are you asking such nonsense questions, Amor?" he madly replied. Magkasalubong ang kilay nito na halatang kakainin ako sa galit."I just want to know since we live in a world where ev
SignAfter the stressful final exam, nag aya si Daddy na pumunta kami sa hometown nina Indra, sa Siargao. We will be spending our weekend there together with Alton's family. I've never been excited during my whole life. Siguro dahil iyon ang magiging isa sa pinakamasayang bahagi ng buhay ko.Who wouldn't be happy when you always feel the support of those people around you?Kagabi rin ay tumawag ako kay Vaughn. He told me that he won't make it today but he assured that he will be on Aziel's graduation. I am still happy for him despite the pain that he suffered because of me. He will always be a special friend for me not because we're connected in the past but because that's what I really felt for him.He was always there whenever Estrella is eaten by her own thoughts before and he also did the same thing for me as Vaughn. I have no idea about the fate's plan ahead for us but I do really wish for his genuine happiness k
Dress"Take care, sweetheart. Enjoy your date," my mommy whispered before giving me a peck in the cheeks. Dad did the same thing too.Before Alton left the house, they had a little talk again. I wasn't able to hear it because they told me that particular conversation was only exclusive for him only. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw nilang marinig o malaman ko.I watched Alton while he's playing with the car keys in his hand after talking with my parents. My brows automatically furrowed after seeing him grinning."What's the reason behind that?" pambungad na tanong ko dahil hindi ko maiwasang lamunin ng kuryosidad tungkol sa topic na pinag usapan nila.Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto para makapasok at pagkatapos ay umikot siya para makaupo naman sa driver's seat. When he's already holding the steering wheel, tsaka lamang siya sumagot."What do you mean?" he asked before starting the engine of his car."May sinabi b
LessonsIsang nakakabinging sigaw mula sa pamilyar na boses ang nakapagpatayo kay Estrella mula sa ilang minutong pagkakahimlay. Pagkatapos n'on nakarinig rin siya ng tunog ng karwahe na mistulang papalapit sa kanilang direksyon. Mabilis na umalis ang dalaga mula sa kanyang silid at doon niya nasaksihan ang tatlong lalaking nakapangmilitar na uniporme habang sapilitang dinadakip ang kanyang kapatid."Izan!" umiiyak nitong sigaw habang pilit silang inaawat. Napaupo ang dalaga sa sahig nang itulak ito ng isang lalaki. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin niya maiwasang maguluhan kung bakit nila ito ginagawa sa kanila.Anong kasalanan ng kapatid niya?Iyon ang tanong na pilit na tumatakbo sa kanyang isipan.
Hide"Sweetheart, I miss you. I'm so glad you invited your friend here," my mom exclaimed as she went closer to my direction to hug and kiss me."I miss you too, mom." I greeted. Beside me was Thamara. Kanina pa s'yang bumubulong sa akin na nahihiya siya dahil hindi niya inakalang iimbitahin ko siya ngayon."Hi tita," she shyly greeted na halatang naninibago. She did the same thing. It was the first time that I brought her here though, she already saw my mom a long a time ago."What about Vaughn? Hindi ba siya sumabay sa inyo?" umiling ako bilang sagot sa tanong niya. He told me earlier that he still had somewhere to go with Alton. Kanina naman ay tumawag sa akin si daddy kasi ngayon raw niya kukuhanin yung gift niya for mom. We will be having a simple dinner like we used to do every year. My mom was not fond of big surprises or any wealthy celebrations. She told us before that she only wants our c
DistanceAziel became true to his words. In just a snap, his actions towards Alton changed. Maybe their agreement is really a big deal. I can't stop myself from thinking if it's related to me. Kahit paulit ulit kasi akong magsalita, halatang walang balak silang ipaalam 'yon sa akin.The semestral break ended. Kahit na bumalik na kami sa klase ay hindi ko pa rin iniiwas ang mga mata ko kay Vaughn. I am always keeping an eye on him because I want to make sure that he's safe.It also seemed like he's distancing on me. I still have no idea about what's going on."We can join them. Dito na lang rin tayo kumain," I explained when Alton invited me to have a lunch in Grind house. My eyes darted to Aziel and Vaughn together with Lissy. Nakita ko naman sa peripheral vision ko ang biglaang pagkunot ng noo ni Alton.I can't blame him. Back then, I was really happy eating lunch with him. Ako pa yung nag iinsist na kumain kami sa labas
AgreementI can feel the tension while the four of us are on the same table while eating. Kakagising pa lamang ni Aziel pero masama na kaagad ang timpla ng mukha nito. Vaughn was just quiet like what he usually do. Alton keep staring at me. Samantalang ako naman ay hindi mapakali kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi ko pa mahawakan ng maayos ang kutsara ko.I suddenly lost my appetite. Parang kahit anong oras kasi ay pwedeng may mangyari."Fucking morning," ani Aziel dahil dalawang lalaki kaagad ang bumungad sa kanya pagkagising. Even if he's friends with Vaughn, madalas ay kontrabida pa rin ito sa amin. I suddenly felt like I was fragile as a glass that he needed to take care of. Hindi naman na ako bata.Instead of saying something, nagsimula na lang ako sa pagkain sa pagbabakasakaling gagaya sila sa akin. Napatigil lang ko sa ginagawa ko nang mapansin kong tatlo na silang nakatitig sa akin. Aziel was crossing his arms, staring at me li
Over Reacting"Does it still hurt?" Vaughn asked using his soft voice with affection after putting an alcohol and band-aid to my small wound. I wasn't aware about the reasons behind it. If he didn't notice it, I won't be able to give it a proper treatment."You're always worrying about others so you forgot to take care of yourself," he worriedly added while still intently looking at my left arm. When he's done checking, his eyes darted on me again."Stop crying...I won't leave," he assured while I still felt speechless and weak. Kahit ano kasing pilit niya sa akin na kumalma, hindi ko pa rin magawa. I can't take seeing him suffering. If something bad happened to him just because of me, I'll forever blame myself."P-Promise me you'll be safe," I begged after earning an enough courage to speak.A smile curved on his lips. It feels like I haven't seen it for a long time."I promise," I reciprocated his smile afte