Control
Two days ago, I lost my consciousness again for the second time. My mom was sickly worried about it kaya't pinalipat muna n'ya sina Aziel at Lissy sa apartment ko para may kasama ako. Hindi na ako nagprotesta pa. Maging si daddy ay 'yon rin naman ang sinabi sa akin.
Aziel's birthday is on Saturday that's why I made sure that I'll not be busy doing any kind of schoolworks during that day. Kanina rin ay nagluto si Lissy. I told her that I'll just bring packed lunch dahil time consuming kung hihintayin ko pa sila bago makakain sa cafeteria.
"Sure ka na hindi ka sasama, Amorelle? Final na 'yan?" pag uulit ni Thamara na ngayon ay nakasukbit na ang shoulder bag. Kakatapos lang ng panghuling subject namin bago maglunch break.
"Yep. Thank you sa notes,"
"No prob. Basta yung request ko, ha?" kinikilig na tugon nito. I don't know if she's serious about it. Gusto kasi n'yang ipakilala ko s'ya kay Vaughn ma
BirthmarksI wandered my eyes around right after I turned on the lights again. The theme of this room is black—curtains, quilts, sleeping pillows, slippers and mats all have similar colors. There are also beautiful murals on the walls, hand painted by someone who's really professional on arts.I went closer to it only to see it's every little detail. There were exactly seven paintings. All have the same sizes except on the other one. The subjects of the painting are all abstract. It's really heard to interpret its meaning maybe because I am not knowledgeable enough when it comes to this matter.I'm sure that this is Alton's room. I wonder if he's also the one who made those paintings.Wala na akong nakita pang kakaiba rito sa kwarto. Bukod sa malawak at mabango, mga murals lang talaga ang mabilis na nakakaagaw ng pansin.It's been an approximately ten minutes since Alton left but still, I
Other HalfHearing the waves crashing to the ocean caught my attention. I stepped out of my cabin and went to the veranda to have a spectacular and clear view of the ocean. I was smacked in the face by the pure and refreshing air. Looking at the peaceful sunset and calm water surface gave me a sort of relaxation. Staring at an almost orange sky and distant silhouettes of the other ships gave made me feel a heavenly serenity.Habang nakahawak ako sa railings ng barko, naramdaman ko namang may humaplos sa likod ko."Sweetheart, what bothers your mind? Hindi mo ba pupuntahan ang pinsan mo?" napatigil ako sa pag iisip nang biglang magtanong si momm
FeelingsI told myself that I will never tell my parents what happened to me because I don't want them to get worried pero hindi ko na rin napigilan pa yung sarili ko. Every night, I always find myself staring at the ceiling, wondering why things ended up like this. Vaughn already confessed to me pero sa halip na maubos ang mga tanong sa isip ko, mas lalo lang itong nadagdagan.Willing naman silang makinig pareho sa akin. Dad even cancelled his appointments just to be with me. Nakaupo ako ngayon sa sofa habang pinag gigitnaan nilang dalawa."You want to tell us about Vaughn, sweetheart?"Hindi pa man ako nakakapagsalita pero alam na kaagad ni mommy kung ano yung tumatakbo sa utak ko. Did I look too obvious?It's been a week since Vaughn and I started dating. They first met him during Aziel's birthday. Palagi rin silang magka-call ni mommy. Vaughn never failed to update her everything about me. Tapos tuw
Good NewsLissy told me that Alton flew to Cebu because he was their department's representative for a three-day seminar. Mas mabuti na rin 'yon dahil hindi ko alam kung paano siya haharapin pagkatapos ng lahat ng sinabi niya.Those three words that came from his mouth are still vivid. I admit that I'm really happy knowing that we felt the same way for each other. But then, I remembered Vaughn. Kahapon rin ay bumalik ako ng bahay at nakausap ko si mommy.I was crying in her shoulders. I told her everything about Alton. The advice that she gave me is to avoid him as much as possible so I'll easily forget my feelings.I tried my best to follow what she wanted. Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong h'wag magreply kahit na panay text pa rin sa akin si Alton.I just decided to turn off my phone so I won't be able to read his messages. Pagkatapos n'on, lumabas na ako para sana magpunta ng convenience store nang makita ko si Vaughn.
InfatuationHindi ako makapaniwala sa sinabi ni kuya Led sa akin. Hanggang ngayon ay panay tanong pa rin ako kung seryoso ba siya sa good news na ibinalita niya."I'm not good at making jokes, Relle," sambit pa nito.Hindi ko tuloy alam kung ano ang gagawin ko ngayon. Hindi ko naman siya pwedeng iwanan sa bahay kasi may asthma si mommy. Hindi rin pwede sa apartment dahil nasa hospital ako for two days. Hindi ko rin siya maaasikaso at baka magka allergy na naman si Vaughn. Another thing, kasama ko rin sa apartment si Aziel. Alam kong n'ong una pa lang ay ayaw na nito kay Callie."Let me take care of her," napatigil ako sa pag iisip nang biglang magsalita si Alton."Sure ka? Hindi ba abala?" nahihiyang tanong ko.Even if I'm doing my best to avoid him right now, I am left with no choice but to trust him. Alam kong siya lang ang makakatulong sa akin ngayon. He's more knowledgeable of taking caring of pets r
Mad"Will you not answer the call?" Vaughn asked that snapped me back to my senses. Hindi ko namalayan na masyado na palang napalalim yung iniisip ko at kanina pa akong nakatulala.Napatingin ako sa screen ng cellphone ko. Alton was the one calling. It took me an almost a minute while staring at it before I finally decided to reject the call."It's alright," tipid na sagot ko bago ko naalala yung nangyari kahapon.Maybe he was just confused too. I'll just continue avoiding him until he gives up his feelings for me. Makakalimutan niya rin yung nararamdaman niya para sa akin."It's okay with me if you'll answer his call and be friends with him, mi amore. I don't want to see you in pain," sambit pa niya na nakapagpatigil sa akin sa pagkain. I tried my best to smile just to show him that what he thought is wrong."Who told you that I'm in pain? Masaya naman ako," I reasoned which made him chuckle.
PainI have so many things in my mind while walking along the hallway. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko lahat ng sinabi sa'kin ni Aziel kanina. He didn't give me further details; the reason why we ended up fighting again. Whatever happens to Alton and Azalea is not in my concern anymore but there's something that pushes me to know what actually happened between them. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ba ang ibang kasinungalingang tinatago sa'kin ni Alton. If it's true that he was meant for Azalea, what about his feelings for me?"Amorelle ija, mabuti at napadalaw ka rito. Hindi mo ba kasama si Aziel?" tanong ni Manang Cecilia na isa sa mga mapagkakatiwalaang kasambahay nina tita Mirae. Hindi ko alam kung saan ba ako kumuha ng lakas ng loob para magpunta rito. I just want to know if Aziel is saying the truth. May parte sa akin na umaasa pa rin na sana, hindi totoo lahat ng sinabi niya."Maupo ka muna at ikukuha kita ng makaka
Fountain Tower"Get an enough rest, mi amore. Everything will be alright tomorrow," Vaughn consoled. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan ang sarili ko na umasa na sana nga ga'non ang mangyari kinabukasan."Goodnight," I replied as I stared at the curve on his lips hoping that the pain in my chest will be gone."Goodnight," sagot niya habang bakas pa rin sa mga mata ang pag aalala sa akin.Pagkapasok ko ng kwarto, parang sirang gripong nag unahan sa pagtulo ang mga ko. I suddenly remember what I did earlier. Alam kong nasaktan ko si Alton sa ginawa ko. I'm hoping that after what I've did, he'll totally move on from me because that's what the best for him.Maybe, I was just meant to meet him and experience the temporary happiness each day that we're together. I'll just trust the fate's choice for me. I know someday, I'll be the happiest girl because I've come up with the right decisions."Relle, will you not attend your class to
Alton AlvidarezThey say that the fate's decision will always win. You will not fall in love with someone who wasn't meant for you.Aside from having a different clock birthmarks, fate was not in favor of your relationship.No matter how much you tried.No matter how much you force things to happen.There's this feeling that I couldn't ever explain the first time I saw Azalea. She's a special girl that every man would fell for. I was beyond happy because she was the one meant for me.Not until my paths crossed with this total stranger.The first I saw her; I admit that I was completely damn star struck. I can't get my eyes away from her. I can't help but to smile and admire every little thing every time I was given a chance to see her image. The way she moves, talks and the way her small eyes glittered in joy admiring the beautiful dress that she's wearing.Time came when I often dreamt about her. I ke
Goodbye"What do you think is the worst part of living?" I remember myself asking this similar question to my cousin. My head ached a bit that's why I used his arms so I can have an alternative pillow.He never complained, as if he can't do anything to stop me."What's with the sudden question?" his brows furrowed. I took a heavy sigh before glancing at the group of twinkling stars that almost dominates the sky. I am not fond of astrological things but the view was a breath taking panorama, I must say."I just want to know what's the point of living when all of us will die anyway?" I mumbled. Nagulat naman ako nang higitan niya ang braso niya kung saan nakapatong ang ulo ko. Bumangon siya mula sa pagkakaupo pagkatapos."Why are you asking such nonsense questions, Amor?" he madly replied. Magkasalubong ang kilay nito na halatang kakainin ako sa galit."I just want to know since we live in a world where ev
SignAfter the stressful final exam, nag aya si Daddy na pumunta kami sa hometown nina Indra, sa Siargao. We will be spending our weekend there together with Alton's family. I've never been excited during my whole life. Siguro dahil iyon ang magiging isa sa pinakamasayang bahagi ng buhay ko.Who wouldn't be happy when you always feel the support of those people around you?Kagabi rin ay tumawag ako kay Vaughn. He told me that he won't make it today but he assured that he will be on Aziel's graduation. I am still happy for him despite the pain that he suffered because of me. He will always be a special friend for me not because we're connected in the past but because that's what I really felt for him.He was always there whenever Estrella is eaten by her own thoughts before and he also did the same thing for me as Vaughn. I have no idea about the fate's plan ahead for us but I do really wish for his genuine happiness k
Dress"Take care, sweetheart. Enjoy your date," my mommy whispered before giving me a peck in the cheeks. Dad did the same thing too.Before Alton left the house, they had a little talk again. I wasn't able to hear it because they told me that particular conversation was only exclusive for him only. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw nilang marinig o malaman ko.I watched Alton while he's playing with the car keys in his hand after talking with my parents. My brows automatically furrowed after seeing him grinning."What's the reason behind that?" pambungad na tanong ko dahil hindi ko maiwasang lamunin ng kuryosidad tungkol sa topic na pinag usapan nila.Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto para makapasok at pagkatapos ay umikot siya para makaupo naman sa driver's seat. When he's already holding the steering wheel, tsaka lamang siya sumagot."What do you mean?" he asked before starting the engine of his car."May sinabi b
LessonsIsang nakakabinging sigaw mula sa pamilyar na boses ang nakapagpatayo kay Estrella mula sa ilang minutong pagkakahimlay. Pagkatapos n'on nakarinig rin siya ng tunog ng karwahe na mistulang papalapit sa kanilang direksyon. Mabilis na umalis ang dalaga mula sa kanyang silid at doon niya nasaksihan ang tatlong lalaking nakapangmilitar na uniporme habang sapilitang dinadakip ang kanyang kapatid."Izan!" umiiyak nitong sigaw habang pilit silang inaawat. Napaupo ang dalaga sa sahig nang itulak ito ng isang lalaki. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin niya maiwasang maguluhan kung bakit nila ito ginagawa sa kanila.Anong kasalanan ng kapatid niya?Iyon ang tanong na pilit na tumatakbo sa kanyang isipan.
Hide"Sweetheart, I miss you. I'm so glad you invited your friend here," my mom exclaimed as she went closer to my direction to hug and kiss me."I miss you too, mom." I greeted. Beside me was Thamara. Kanina pa s'yang bumubulong sa akin na nahihiya siya dahil hindi niya inakalang iimbitahin ko siya ngayon."Hi tita," she shyly greeted na halatang naninibago. She did the same thing. It was the first time that I brought her here though, she already saw my mom a long a time ago."What about Vaughn? Hindi ba siya sumabay sa inyo?" umiling ako bilang sagot sa tanong niya. He told me earlier that he still had somewhere to go with Alton. Kanina naman ay tumawag sa akin si daddy kasi ngayon raw niya kukuhanin yung gift niya for mom. We will be having a simple dinner like we used to do every year. My mom was not fond of big surprises or any wealthy celebrations. She told us before that she only wants our c
DistanceAziel became true to his words. In just a snap, his actions towards Alton changed. Maybe their agreement is really a big deal. I can't stop myself from thinking if it's related to me. Kahit paulit ulit kasi akong magsalita, halatang walang balak silang ipaalam 'yon sa akin.The semestral break ended. Kahit na bumalik na kami sa klase ay hindi ko pa rin iniiwas ang mga mata ko kay Vaughn. I am always keeping an eye on him because I want to make sure that he's safe.It also seemed like he's distancing on me. I still have no idea about what's going on."We can join them. Dito na lang rin tayo kumain," I explained when Alton invited me to have a lunch in Grind house. My eyes darted to Aziel and Vaughn together with Lissy. Nakita ko naman sa peripheral vision ko ang biglaang pagkunot ng noo ni Alton.I can't blame him. Back then, I was really happy eating lunch with him. Ako pa yung nag iinsist na kumain kami sa labas
AgreementI can feel the tension while the four of us are on the same table while eating. Kakagising pa lamang ni Aziel pero masama na kaagad ang timpla ng mukha nito. Vaughn was just quiet like what he usually do. Alton keep staring at me. Samantalang ako naman ay hindi mapakali kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi ko pa mahawakan ng maayos ang kutsara ko.I suddenly lost my appetite. Parang kahit anong oras kasi ay pwedeng may mangyari."Fucking morning," ani Aziel dahil dalawang lalaki kaagad ang bumungad sa kanya pagkagising. Even if he's friends with Vaughn, madalas ay kontrabida pa rin ito sa amin. I suddenly felt like I was fragile as a glass that he needed to take care of. Hindi naman na ako bata.Instead of saying something, nagsimula na lang ako sa pagkain sa pagbabakasakaling gagaya sila sa akin. Napatigil lang ko sa ginagawa ko nang mapansin kong tatlo na silang nakatitig sa akin. Aziel was crossing his arms, staring at me li
Over Reacting"Does it still hurt?" Vaughn asked using his soft voice with affection after putting an alcohol and band-aid to my small wound. I wasn't aware about the reasons behind it. If he didn't notice it, I won't be able to give it a proper treatment."You're always worrying about others so you forgot to take care of yourself," he worriedly added while still intently looking at my left arm. When he's done checking, his eyes darted on me again."Stop crying...I won't leave," he assured while I still felt speechless and weak. Kahit ano kasing pilit niya sa akin na kumalma, hindi ko pa rin magawa. I can't take seeing him suffering. If something bad happened to him just because of me, I'll forever blame myself."P-Promise me you'll be safe," I begged after earning an enough courage to speak.A smile curved on his lips. It feels like I haven't seen it for a long time."I promise," I reciprocated his smile afte