I perfected the art of pretending I’m fine when in fact, I’m bleeding inside. I perfected the art of not showing that I’m greatly affected by all the things that happened to me. I perfected the art of not showing too much emotion but I still can’t keep the tears rolling down my face while staring at the black dress Yuan put on in my closet last night.
Someone knocked on my door but I’m too tired to answer. I smell jasmine filling the air and I slowly look at my mom who’s already in her black dress. Her hair is slightly curled in the end, the small black hat covers half of her head.
“Are you okay?” she asked, squeezing my hands lightly.
How am I supposed to be fine when the only person I want is not here with me right now?
“You think everyone’s going to move on, Mom?” I asked, hoping she has all the answers to my question.
“Everything will soon be alright, honey. Time will heal all wounds.” She pulled me for a hug and I
Mommy used to tell me that Nightmare is an evil spirit formerly thought to oppress people while they were sleeping. It causes people to experience bad things in their dreams. Yuan used to get annoyed whenever I cry and wet the bed because I had a bad dream. Mom and Dad will come to me and let me sleep in their room. Yuan said that I should not be afraid of Nightmare because it visits the ones who are scared of it. He said that if I became brave to sleep alone, Nightmare won’t visit me. When I was eight, he gave me his favorite stuffed toy. He said it protects him from Nightmare and if I sleep with the teddy bear, Nightmare will not come to me. I don’t know what happened because his teddy bear suddenly lost its magic to protect me from Nightmare. It’s been years but Nightmare still visits me every night. It never missed an evening. It gets creepier every time. My whole body is trembling when I woke up. I’m drenching in sweat but I yank my comforter until i
I cried, silently praying to Heavens that God will bring someone here to save me.I tried pulling the rope that binds my hand but every time I do, the material bites into my skin, digging deeper, drawing blood behind it. I stared at the reflection of the little girl in the room. Her hair is still tied in a messy ponytail, the ribbon of her headband is missing. Her yellow dress looks like a rug now from the dirt. Her face is beaten up badly, she got bruises everywhere.That little girl is me.“Don’t bother.” A voice from somewhere startled me. “You’ll only hurt yourself more.”I tried to adjust in the dark and found a silhouette of a little boy, probably my age, sitting on the far edge of the room. His hands and feet are also tied.“W-who are you?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“Are you okay?” the boy has managed to get to me. He flinched when he moves so I carefully sat beside him. Traces of blood is evident on his face. His shirt is ripped from the back, exposing the bruises from the whip. I can feel the pain in my body, too. But this time, I’m more afraid for the boy beside me. “Is he gone?” I whispered; too afraid I will be heard. “Yes.” He answered, “Hey, don’t cry.” As if on cue, my tears well my face, making it sting. It’s raining again. I don’t know how long have I slept. I’m not hungry anymore. I silently prayed that Mom will come to pick me up. “Hey, you okay?” My hands caressed my arms. The smell of antiseptic filled my nose before I can even open my eyes and look at the one talking to me. The room is white and sterile. I’m in the hospital again. I inhaled air
“Are you done with your project?” Luna asked me as soon as our Literature Instructor exited the room. I shut down my laptop and gather my things into my bag before facing her. She’s sitting on the chair in front of me with the pen dancing on her fingers. I massaged my neck and my eyes landed on Akira who’s furiously typing on his laptop. Lucas is sitting beside him, dictating from the book. “Yes.” I stare at Luna to stop myself from staring at Akira. He’s like a magnet and my eyes are drawn to him every time. After he disappeared from the hospital, I didn’t hear anything from him—not that I want to hear something from him. “Wow. I’m not yet done.” She scratched her nose as her eyes landed on the boys across us in the room. Akira frantically rocks his leg while Lucas focused on the book. Whenever he reads fast, Akira will click his tongue and close his fist like he wants to punch Luc right in the face. “You need help?” I asked her while I duck
Sadoche It’s already raining when I reached Kori’s house. Since I’m already drenching, I throw my bag on the porch and stayed under the rain. It’s already dark, the only light outside is the flash of lightning in the sky. The rain will not stop anytime soon so I lie on my back, feeling the cold concrete. I stare blankly at the roaring sky, not minding the painful drops of rain. I heard the front door opened but I’m too tired to care. I closed my eyes, feeling the cold, hard ground. The rain is still pouring but I’m suddenly not feeling the raindrops. When I opened my eyes, Kori’s face comes into view. “What on earth are you doing there, boy?” he asked, he looks like a grim reaper on his black coat. “Get up, dummy. You’re going to catch a cold.” He pulled me up and basically dragged me inside the house. He threw a towel on my face and went into the kitchen. I was able to strip on my clothes and cover my waist wit
(Trigger warning: The following scene contains violence, physical abuse, traumatic experiences which some readers may find triggering. If you need support at any time, please call the National Suicide Prevention Helplines.)“Damn it, Yu. It’s just a sleepover why are you packing a lot?”I snatched from Yuan the clothes he’s putting in a duffel bag. I packed just enough clothes inside my backpack and my medicines.“You might need—fine, fine.”He let go of the bag just when the doorbell rings. Luna called me this afternoon that Lucas will pick me up because she’s still preparing for their house. Yuan walked out of my room to get the door.“Roux! Your friends are here!” Yuan shouted from the living area.I heave a sigh and carry my backpack downstairs. I don’t know what to wear to a slumber party so I settled for leggings and an oversized jacket. Yuan is ta
Sadoche There’s something wrong with her. The way she stares at the candles says it all and when Luna blew them, Roux finally loses it. Luna and Lucas were oblivious of her but I saw how her pupils dilate like she’d seen a ghost. I kneel beside her, putting a safe distance since she freaks out whenever someone touches her. She’s staring at nothing like she’s in a trance. “Roux,” I called her but it seems like she can’t even hear me. Lucas puts the cake down on the table while Luna watches her in horror. “Oh my God, what’s happening to her?” she asked like I know the answer. “Roux.” I snapped a finger on her face but she suddenly started kicking. Lucas pulled Luna away from her since she got kicked on her stomach. Lucas runs for the lights but Roux kept on kicking the air like she’s trying to get away from something—or someone. She managed to knock out the plates an
Sadoche “Are you sure about this?” I looked at Aki who is still busy buttoning his shirt—my shirt. “I just want to see Mom’s reaction when she sees us. Today I’ll be Kirian and you’ll act like me. I just want to give myself a break. You’re a lucky bastard, you get to stay with her while I’m stuck with Granny.” I heave a sigh and adjusted the collar of his hoody he threw at me. Dad died when we were young, and our grandparents decided to split the two of us. Aki spent his life in the countryside with Mom’s parents while I lived the City life with Mom. Gramps passed away two years ago, leaving him with Granny alone. “Of course, she’ll notice. Whose parents can’t ev
I perfected the art of pretending I’m fine when in fact, I’m bleeding inside. I perfected the art of not showing that I’m greatly affected by all the things that happened to me. I perfected the art of not showing too much emotion but I still can’t keep the tears rolling down my face while staring at the black dress Yuan put on in my closet last night. Someone knocked on my door but I’m too tired to answer. I smell jasmine filling the air and I slowly look at my mom who’s already in her black dress. Her hair is slightly curled in the end, the small black hat covers half of her head. “Are you okay?” she asked, squeezing my hands lightly. How am I supposed to be fine when the only person I want is not here with me right now? “You think everyone’s going to move on, Mom?” I asked, hoping she has all the answers to my question. “Everything will soon be alright, honey. Time will heal all wounds.” She pulled me for a hug and I
I hate blood. Every time I see blood, I am reminded of the things that happened to me. I hate hospitals. I hate the dull color of the walls and the antiseptic smell of the air. I look down at my trembling hands and find dried blood smeared on my body. Yuan touched my hand, stopping me from drifting back to my nightmares. He forced me to look at him, wiping the tears from my face. “We need to get your wounds treated.” He said softly. I don’t feel my wounds and the burns on my skin. I’m physically numb from everything that happened. I look around the waiting area outside the operating room. Mom is sitting next to Mrs. Sadoche while Dad’s sitting across from them, the nurse checking his wounds. Good thing that the bullet only grazed his skin. “You think they’ll be fine?” I asked him. Yu just smiled at me then squeezed my hands. It’s been almost an hour since they put Kirian and Lucas in the operating room. “They’re strong. Come on, we nee
“Touch my daughter and I’ll kill you.” We all turned to the voice and found Mom standing by the entrance of the warehouse. She’s wearing a peach sundress and her hair is done like she’s attending a party. Everything about her shouts class and sophistication sans her usual whiny act. Right now, she’s standing straight like she’s a boss, her face serious. “Shit, Mom! I told you to stay out of here!” Yuan growled but she just rolled her eyes at him. Mom is usually calm. Gets whiny if she didn’t get what she wanted because Dad spoiled her so much. I remember her almost getting a heart attack when she saw Yuan using his LV wallet as a placemat that she gave as his graduation gift. Right now, I can’t even recognize the woman I’m seeing. “Victoria.” Halliday regarded her like she’s the worst thing he has ever seen. “I’m glad you join our reunion. I see that Mayor Patterson topped his job for making you his trophy wife, huh?” “Watch it,
Yuan “Stop your nonsense now, Rick. I’m here now. Let them go.” Uncle Ronan greeted his teeth. His hands are in his pockets but I know he’s clenching them. Halliday’s laugh echoed in the room. The wine glass snapped when he gripped it too hard. He regarded Uncle Ronan with his hard face. “How does it feel, Ronan? How does it feel to lose someone you love? How does it feel when you know you can’t do anything to save them?” My brow creased. I watch as the two of them have their glaring competition, except only Halliday is the one who’s glaring because Uncle Ronan keeps his cool. “Vicky married you, Rick. She chose you over me but all you did was hurt her.” Uncle Ronan's voice is full of emotion. When it comes to Mom, he suddenly changes into a different person—like he’s willing to unleash hell if it means protecting her. “She did bu
Yuan I flip the bird at the car across me. I’m a fucking doctor and I’m usually cool in front of everyone but I don’t give a shit about anyone else right now. I’m not letting things that happened ten years ago happen again. I never had a perfect childhood—well, not until Celeste Roux Patterson was born. When I first saw her in the hospital, I realized that angels do exist. Mom and Uncle Ronan smiled at me while they hand me, my baby sister. She’s so small I was afraid I might break her. I don’t know how long I held my breath until she smiled—and since that very moment, I promised myself I’ll protect her with all my life. I witnessed how my father ruined our lives for money. We used to be happy. Dad is working in the company of his best friend while Mom stayed home to take care of me. He used to be a good father and a husband—until things went off. He started hitting Mom and w
Kirian“You think she’ll talk to me now?” Lucas asked without looking at me. He’s busy counting the roses he bought in the flower boutique we passed by.“I don’t know. Why ask me? You know your girlfriend more than me.” I tapped on my lap patiently while waiting for Lucas to get into the car. We’ve stayed here longer than I thought. I wasn’t even aware that it has been three hours because this idiotic excuse of a human I’m with can’t even remember his girlfriend’s favorite flower.I got tired of trying to work things between them. Everything that I try only ends up backfiring to me. I’m only being the bestest best friend that I am but it always ends up me and Luna fighting.My heartbeat suddenly sunk as we appro
It’s been three days since Akira left for New Zealand. It’s also been three days since Luna and Lucas had their cold war. Luna keeps on avoiding Lucas and I think Lucas is also doing the same.They even had another fight when we had a barbecue party the night Aki left. It was actually Kirian’s fault because he kept on teasing the two.We got bored in the rest house so we decided to have a night picnic outside and have a bonfire. Yuan went back to the city because he needs to talk to Kori while Mom and Dad are busy. The four of us were the only ones left in the rest house, guarded by Dad’s men.The boys are fueling the car while we’re in the mini grocery store. We run out of food since Lucas and Kirian kept on eating. We planned to make pasta and barbecue so Luna and I are the in-charge of the grocery while the guys will do the cooking tonight.“Are you okay?”
Kirian“Take care,” I said as I watch Aki hop into the van.He smirked at me and salute.“You should be the one to be careful. Remember what I’ve said, Kir. Keep an eye on Roux. Rick is not the only bad guy here.”You know it’s a serious situation when Aki’s smiley face turned into a grave one. I nodded at him and watch until the van disappeared in my sight.Before we get here, someone was after Roux and according to Aki, it’s the same person who almost gets her killed in that warehouse. Akira doesn’t know his face—because just like Roux, he also suffered from trauma.Akira might look tough on the surface but what happened in OKV back then is still haunting him. He has also undergone therapies and until now, he’s still trying to move on from that horrible past
Kirian might not say it but I know how hard it is for him to see his brother leave again. They just met a few days ago and here they are again, bidding goodbye to each other. Yuan helped Akira to bring his bags in the van while the twins talk to each other by the staircase. I'm sitting pertly in the living room, pretending to focus on the TV series though I can't even understand anything. Looking at the twin, people might think that the scene is just a normal day for siblings who have to say goodbye to each other. It's heartbreaking and knowing that it's Akira and Kirian makes it more frustrating. I know Kirian doesn't want Akira to leave. Akira doesn't want to, either but they've got no other option. The two of them suffered so much than anyone can imagine. "What are you thinking about?" Luna asked out of the blue. I almost forgot that I'm with h