Paying For Someone Else's Sin

 (Trigger warning: The following scene contains violence, physical abuse, traumatic experiences which some readers may find triggering. If you need support at any time, please call the National Suicide Prevention Helplines.)

“Damn it, Yu. It’s just a sleepover why are you packing a lot?”

I snatched from Yuan the clothes he’s putting in a duffel bag. I packed just enough clothes inside my backpack and my medicines.

“You might need—fine, fine.”

He let go of the bag just when the doorbell rings. Luna called me this afternoon that Lucas will pick me up because she’s still preparing for their house. Yuan walked out of my room to get the door.

“Roux! Your friends are here!” Yuan shouted from the living area.

I heave a sigh and carry my backpack downstairs. I don’t know what to wear to a slumber party so I settled for leggings and an oversized jacket. Yuan is talking to Lucas and Akira—well, I thought it was Luna when I get down.

Yuan kissed my forehead before walking us outside. The road is still wet from the heavy rain this afternoon and suddenly I want to crawl back into my bed and hide under my blanket. Yuan look at my face, trying to search panic but I kept a straight face.

Akira opened the backdoor for me before climbing into the passenger’s seat. It started raining again when we’re on the road. Lucas glanced at me in the rearview mirror.

“Are you okay, Roux?” he asked.

Akira glanced at me, too and I forced a smile.

“I’m good. It’s just cold.”

Akira turned off the AC. I’m not really cold. It just feels weird having Akira around.

The Chase Residence is quiet like there’s no one inside. Lucas stopped the car in front of the porch so I won’t get rained as they parked in the garage. Luna opened the front door and smiled ear to ear when she saw me.

“You came.” She beamed as she took my bag from me.

We entered the house and I almost got blinded by the lights. The walls are painted white and cashmere. I saw three helpers but Mr. and Mrs. Chase are nowhere to be found. She let me sit on the couch just as Lucas and Akira come in.

Luna’s wearing a pink dress and I look ridiculous beside her. She led us into a room upstairs which I supposed is a theatre room.

There is a big flat-screen TV and two large couches. A low table is seated in the center which is surrounded by a fluffy sky blue and grey carpet. Luna and I sat on the carpet while Akira settled on the couch as he browses for movies.

The helpers came in with trays of food and Lucas holding a cake. Akira turned off the lights, making me a little fidgety on my seat. Akira must have noticed my reaction because he turns on the light above the TV.

Lucas started singing happy birthday while walking towards Luna. I stare at the candles on the cake and my chest started to compress. When Luna blew her candles, darkness pulled me back to darkness.

***

“Roux, are you awake already?” I heard Mom's call from the kitchen. “I made pancakes for you.”

I’m still annoyed at Yuan because he left me without a word yesterday. Mom said he will go to a boarding school and won’t be home for months. He missed my birthday. He promised me he’ll be here, but he was accepted into a boarding school in England when he received a letter last week.

He promised to bring me to the park today but he suddenly left yesterday. Today is my first birthday without him. I changed into my yellow dress, the one Mom bought for me as a gift, and sneak into the window. She won’t allow me to go there alone but I can’t afford to miss the cotton candy they sell in the park.

It took me few minutes before I reached the park. I haven’t seen the cotton candy truck yet but I can already smell the sweet aroma in the air. I jogged towards the truck and ordered the bear-shaped cotton candy. When the vendor asked for the payment, I finally realized that I left my pouch in my room.

“Here.” A boy wearing a button-down shirt handed the vendor a few coins. “Give me one, too.”

He’s wearing thick eyeglasses that make his eyes look comically big. He’s taller than me but I’m sure he’s just my age or maybe a year older. When the vendor handed him his cotton candy, he led me to the swing.

“Thank you. If you’ll wait for me here, I’ll give back your money. I have many, I promised, I just left them at home.”

He removed his eyeglasses and smiled at me.

“Really? Sure. I’ll wait for you then.”

I smiled at him and started walking away but before I can even step a foot outside the park, someone covered my mouth with a cloth that smells like shit. Before I can even protest, I felt dizzy and everything went pitch black.

When I woke up, my hands and feet are tied with rope. I tried to seat but I ended up falling back on the cold, dirty floor. It was already dark. Yuan told me that ghosts and other bad spirits live in this kind of place.

“Mom!” I cried as panic surged through me. “Mom! Yuan!”

“Shut up!” a deep, scary voice shouted somewhere in the dark.

I crawled into a fetal position, too afraid to look at the scary man. I can hear his shoes trudging into the floor, sending chills all over my body. Mommy must be worried already. I cried silently, wishing everything’s just a nightmare—that Mom will wake me up, showering me with kisses.

“I want to go home,” I whispered.

“And I want to go the space. It’s not happening, honey. Time to accept that.” His voice shouts loathe like being born was my greatest sin.

“W-who are you?” I braved to ask. Yuan said I’m strong because I’m not afraid of him. He always complains to Mom and Dad that I’m lording him around.

“I promise you, child, that you wouldn’t want to know who I am.”

I don’t have any idea why he took me. Yuan said that only bad children were taken by bad guys. I sneak out of our house today when Mom clearly said I’m not allowed to go outside alone.

The scary man squats on the floor so he can scan my features. The way he grips my face tells me I’m the most disgusting thing he has ever seen.

“You look exactly like your whore of a mother.” He spat on my face. It’s gross but I’m too afraid to say something. I felt liquid trickle on my legs. Yuan hates it when I wet the bed that’s why he moved into his room when I was five.

The scary man pushed me hard, I think I had a concussion. My vision blurred from the impact.

“I’ll apologize because you have to pay for your Mother’s sin but I’ll be lying if I tell you I’m sorry.”

I heard him unbuckling his belt and rolled it into his hands. I know what he’s going to do so I braced myself until I felt the biting pain of the belt on my skin. I cried so hard I thought I’m going to die. He kept on hitting me with his belt like he’s in a rodeo until I lose consciousness.