Do I deserve her

 DO I DESERVE HER LOVE

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CHRIS POV

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Selena is the sweetest and kindest lady that I know. She was accommodating and never one to judge you or make you feel like a lesser person to her, this endeared her to me. I was seen as a nerd and colored poor kid in school even though I made good grades and didn't dress shabbily, they judged me before they got to know me. Their myopic mindset about me made me feel like a lesser person and I struggled with my mental health till I met Selena. She was like a breath of fresh air in my life. With her,  you know that what you are getting is nothing short of the best. 

I was not a peasant as most students and some parents would love to think. We were not rich nor were we beggars. What we had was enough and  I also had a state scholarship which made it easier for my mom, so she could have enough for our feeding, rent, and other expenses. It wasn't easy but we were happy and content.

I didn't know when I started falling in love with Selena, all I know is that I started seeing her as more than a friend. I wanted to share my joy, pain, and breakthroughs with her. I also wanted her in my arms and life, but somehow I feared her father who was well known for his dislike for people of color even though Selena was nothing like him, I was still skeptical. The horror story I heard about him didn't help much. I started avoiding Selena, but it hurt me more than I expected.

Nathan tried his best to bring us together though I was still reluctant. I was my mother's only child and losing me could kill her. I had to think about her safety first.

“Fear can only weaken you and stop you from actually living; imagine being afraid to be with someone you love; isn't that worse than living.” These words by my friend Nathan kept hammering in my subconscious mind.

I felt those words, and I began to loosen up and let myself live as Nathan had advised. It felt good, I always had the habit of ensuring that things around me were perfect even the ones I couldn't control. I tried to change since perfection was synonymous to me. But I saw how those things made me rigid and unfriendly after Nathans's words of wisdom to me. 

The more I loosened up and started to live for myself, I wanted Selena more and could not wait to confess my love to her, the urgency I felt frightened me. Suddenly I was afraid I might have lost her due to my overthinking and not acting fast enough to woo her. I wanted the day I told her how I feel to be perfect, but during our walk on the beach, I knew there was no other day or time that would be more perfect than now. Her eyes radiated with the love she also felt for me as our eyes met and locked- who wouldn't love Selena. My relationship with her became official on that day as we sealed it with a kiss.

I wasted no time and introduced her to my mother a few weeks after we started dating. My mom also fell in love with her personality. I and Selena became inseparable. At first, things went smoothly for us. Our relationship was admired in school and my neighborhood, everyone sang praises of how we complement each other.

Then Selena’s father became a thorn in our flesh. He warned his daughter to stop seeing me, seized her phone, and stopped her allowances, but Selena was adamant and refused to break up with me. When his attitude towards his daughter did not work, he came to meet me directly.

The honk of a car in front of our house, made me leave the graphics I was designing for our school magazine and peeped through the window. I immediately knew it was Selena's father Mr. Delacrioux. I wanted to ignore him, pretend I was not at home but the honking became persistent and my neighbors cursed out at the driver. I also knew that he would not bulge and leave until I met him.

Pulling my hood over my head, I came out of the house and went towards him.

“Get into the car, boy” he instructed me with arrogance.

I wanted to ignore him but he was a stubborn and powerful man. Sliding into the back seat I sat and waited for him to say whatever he had in mind. I knew him as a man that doesn't waste his time on commoners and for some obvious reasons I connected his visit to my relationship with his daughter, after all that was the only common factor we had with each other.

“How much,” he said matter of factly.

“What?'' I replied confused for a moment. I was intrigued by the interior of his luxurious car, the rich knew how to make an impression. The collection of wine in the compartment, the pure leather seat that felt soft under my bosom.

Turning to face him I noticed the mockery smile he gave to me, he must have noticed my thoughts on his luxurious lifestyle as my eyes wandered all over the car interior. Composing myself, I asked again “I didn't get what you were saying.” I added sir as an afterthought, I was not trying to be respectful though.

“I wonder what Selena saw in a dimwit like you. No class whatsoever,” he spoke with a tight lip.

“Excuse me.” I raised my eyebrows in disgust.

“What would it cost me to get you to leave my daughter? Name your price in any currency.” Selena's father sounded irritated as he spoke to me.

“You must be out of your mind. I love your daughter not because of any money you may think you have. Why do you feel threatened about me dating her?” I tried my best to look and sound brave, he was an overbearing man and I won't pass it through him that he had a gun with him.

Laughing loudly, he continued “threatened, by who, you?; you must be out of your mind.” The dark look he gave me made me wonder what lengths he was willing to go to get rid of me.

Putting on a brave face and ignoring my fluttering heart “I would never leave Selena except she doesn't want me in her life.” when Mr. Delacrioux did not say any word again I continued “can I go now”

Without looking at me, he waved his hand in dismissal. I somehow knew that as far as Selena’s father was concerned, the battle line had been drawn, I shuddered as the thought crossed my mind.