Chapter 3

Fayre didn’t know how long it had been since she was held prisoner in this place that almost resembles hell. The girl would wake up every morning with the same scene greeting her. Kung hindi siya sasampalin o sasabunutan ng mga ito para magising ay bubuhusan naman siya ng tubig na may yelo.

Sa bawat araw na itinatagal ng bata sa lugar na ito ay mas palala lang ng palala ang mga nararanasan niya. Walang araw na pinalipas ang mga ito na hindi siya pinagdidiskitahan. Magugulat na lang siya ng bigla-bigla na lang siya sasaktan ng mga ito nang walang dahilan. 

She almost became their punching bag where they vent out all their anger. Fayre has been receiving countless punches ever since. Sa tuwing iiyak ay naiinis lang sa kanya ang mga lalaki at tatapalan ng duct tape ang bibig niya upang manahimik.

Wala nang lakas pa upang manglaban ang bata. Punit-punit na ang damit nito at naliligo na sa pinaghalong pawis, luha, at natuyong dugo niya. Hindi rin nakatutulong ang mga kadena sa kanyang palapulsuhan at paa. Mas pinahirap lang nito lalo ang sitwasyon niya.

Fayre felt crying again at that moment. Ngunit sa ilang gabing iginugol niya kaiiyak ay para bang naubos na ang mga luha niya at wala nang lumabas pa sa kanyang mga mata. Mahapdi at masakit ang kanyang mga sugat, kumakalam ang sikmura, at halatang kulang sa tulog si Fayre. Anumang oras ay maaari nang bumigay ang katawan ng bata.

Ngunit nananaig sa kanya ang kagustuhang makatakas kahit na walang kasiguraduhan. She said she will wait. She knows her family would come and rescue her, so she will wait no matter how long it was.

It was almost dinner and yet, no one came to feed her or at least let her drink. Her last meal was breakfast and since then she hasn't eaten or drunk anything. Her stomach is grumbling and her vision is still blurry with undried tears. Gusto man niyang punasan ang mata ay hindi niya magawa dahil sa mga kadenang nakakabit sa kanya. 

The metallic scent of blood that surrounds her makes her wanna throw up; it’s making her dizzy. And everything about the place makes her feel ill.

Her head shot up once she heard the door open. Thinking it was just one of the men, she immediately sat up straight, scared that they might hurt her again. Masyado na siyang nasanay na kada bubukas ang pinto ay sasalubong sa kanya ang isang galit na lalaki at walang-awa siyang pagsususuntukin.

Ngunit taliwas sa kanyang inaasahan ay isang babae ang nakita niya. Nakasuot ito ng puting dress at nakaladlad ang mahabang buhok nito. Maamo ang mukha ng dalaga at agad nitong sinalubong ang tingin ni Fayre. Kung tatantyahin ay nasa pitong taon ang tanda nito kay Fayre. Nakaukit sa labi nito ang isang matamis at sinserong ngiti.

Lumingon muna ito sa labas saka dahan-dahang binuksan ang pintuan at tuluyang pumasok. Kapansin-pansin ang dala nitong styrofoam sa kanang kamay at isang bote naman ng tubig sa kaliwa. Maingat itong naglakad sa pwesto ni Fayre at lumuhod sa harapan niya.

Fayre was holding back at first, but realizing she meant no harm, she immediately spoke, “Sino ka?” paos niyang tanong.

The girl smiled genuinely at her before opening the lid of the styrofoam, revealing her dinner. “You can call me Ate Cleann, ikaw?” sagot nito habang inihahanda ang plastic na tinidor at kutsara sa kamay. 

“Fayre,” maikling tugon ng bata.

Cleann looked at her with pity in her eyes upon noticing the wounds and bruises all over Fayre’s body. She felt bad for the girl. Cleann was never a fan of violence. She’s a soft girl with a pure heart but unfortunately, the family she belongs to isn't like her.

Kung siya ang tatanungin, she’s willing to help this girl escape. She could risk it all, even if it means going against her family. She knew it was wrong to hurt others, especially an innocent one like Fayre. Ano bang alam ng bata sa mundong kinabibilangan ng magulang niya?

Kumuha siya ng katatamtamang kanin at ulam bago maingat na iniumang ito sa bibig ni Fayre. Walang alinlangan naman itong tinanggap ng bata. Hindi pa siya kumakain mula pa kaninang umaga kaya’t ramdam na ang gutom at pagod sa katawan niya. Napapikit nalang si Fayre nang makaramdam ng kaunting hapdi sa lalamunan dala na rin ng kakulangan sa tubig. Mukhang napansin naman ‘yon ni Cleann at pinainom siya kaagad.

Tahimik lang ang nagdaang minuto hanggang sa matapos kumain ang batang si Fayre.

Namayani ang isang nakakabinging katahimikan sa pagitan nila bago ito napiling basagin ni Cleann.

“I know this won’t do anything to the pain you’re feeling right now but Fayre, I’m truly sorry for what they have done to you and your family. Honestly, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit nila ginagawa ito. None of this was right, and it won’t benefit them either. Revenge was never an answer. Kung ako papipiliin, gusto kong itigil na rin nila ito. I don’t want to lose another family member because of this.”

Cleann noticed the confusion in Fayre’s eyes. She gave her a pat in the head before speaking, “I’ll find a way to help you. I promise you, I will.”

Fayre let out a weak but sincere smile. Soon her eyes went droopy and that’s when Cleann decided to call it a day. She stood up slowly, carrying the trash in her hands. She glanced at the girl lying on the cold concrete floor and pity once crossed her eyes again.

“Hindi ko alam kung paano o kung makakatulog ka ba diyan pero sana, sana makatulog ka pa rin. It’s a long day and I bet you’re already tired.” She sat beside her again and started caressing Fayre’s hair. Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay mabilis na dinapuan ng antok ang bata at nakatulog rin agad. Cleann gently removed Fayre’s head on her shoulder before putting it against the wall. She wished she could stay longer, but she knows her family will be mad if they find out she’s talking to her.

She took a last glance at Fayre before standing up. “Sleepwell, Fayre. You’ve fought well today.” 

Malungkot na nilisan ng dalaga ang silid dala ang pag-asang sana ay makahanap siya ng paraan upang mailigtas ito. She thinks it’s too much. She doesn’t want another innocent person being tortured right in front of her eyes. She couldn’t handle the violence. All she wanted for her family is to go back to the times when they’re still happy and rage wasn’t ruling their hearts but love.

But she knows that her family could never be the same anymore. 

They’ve already changed.

Alam niyang imposibleng bumalik pa sa dati ang lahat, ngunit hindi siya nawawalan ng pag-asa. There’s still good in everything bad. Kailangan niya lang palitawin ito. She believes that her old family is still there. It’s just that they’re just too blinded with wrath and the thought of revenge which she thinks will never do good nor change what has happened before.

Why do they make it hard for themselves? Violence will never be an answer. Let time heal your scars, don’t create another one for others. Why would you want someone to go through the same pain you went through before? Alam mo nang mahirap at masakit, bakit mo pa ipaparanas sa iba? Isn’t it too selfish for them to think like that?

Another day has passed by and it was just like the other days. Maswerte na si Fayre sa lagay na ‘to dahil hindi siya masyadong binugbog ng mga lalaki. Madalang din ang mga itong pumasok sa loob. Buong araw ay halos mag-isa lang siya. Mas gugustuhin niya pa ang mag-isa sa dilim kaysa ang magkaroon ng kasama na bibigyan lang siya ng panibagong sugat sa katawan.

Night fell and Fayre was supposed to feel relieved seeing the stars and moons in the sky. But why does it feel dull? The stars aren’t as sparkling as before, and the moon is not glowing brightly. Everything in the night sky that she used to adore before failed to mesmerize her.

Is it really the night sky that’s gloomy or was it her that failed to appreciate its beauty?

Kung dati ay na-e-excite pa siya tuwing makikita ito lalo na ang buwan sa gabi, ngayon ay para bang hindi na niya magawang humanga dito. Fayre could remember she was always asking her Mom how it felt like to be on the moon and Ellie would answer her that everything on the moon is also glowing just like it. The thought would always enrapture her before just by thinking of the creatures residing on the moon.

But now that the moon is not glimmering anymore, does that mean that the creatures there too aren’t as well?

Para sa kanya, ang bawat gabing dumaraan ay isang palatandaan na lamang na natapos na naman ang isang araw sa buhay niya na puno ng pagdurusa at kinabukasan ay magsisimula ulit ang panibagong araw ng pasakit sa kanya.

Cleann arrived a few minutes ago and she is currently feeding her with porridge now. Maingat ang bawat galaw ng dalaga ngunit hindi pa rin maiiwasan na kahit madali lang ng kutsara ang dulo ng labi ni Fayre ay mapapahiyaw na agad ito sa sakit. Nang matapos niyang pakainin ang batang si Fayre ay isa-isa niyang inilabas ang iba pa niyang mga dalang gamit. Gabi-gabi pagkatapos kumain ng hapunan ay lilinisin naman niya ang mga sugat ni Fayre lalagyan ng mga gamot ang mga ito kahit na nadaragdagan at nadaragdagan lamang ang mga ito habang lumilipas ang mga araw.

Kasalukuyang maingat na pinupunasan ni Cleann ng basang towel ang mga sugat ni Fayre sa kamay nang magsalita ito.

“Ate,” mahinang anito.

“Yes, Fayre? Bakit, may masakit ba?”

Tipid na umiling ito sa kanya bago inilipat ang tingin sa bintana malapit sa kanilang kinaroroonan kung saan tanaw nilang dalawa ang kalangitan.

“Why is the moon not beautiful anymore? Hindi na siya kumikinang katulad nang dati,” malungkot nitong sagot sa kanya. Sa narinig ay bahagyang natigilan si Cleann. Mula sa mga sugatang kamay ni Fayre ay lumipat ang kanyang tingin sa bintana at sa tanawin sa labas. It was still the same moon for her. Maliwanag pa rin ang buwan katulad ng dati at kasama nitong naghahari sa kalawakan ang ilang bilyong mga bituin.

What has changed?

Matagal siyang tumitig doon bago ibinalik ang tingin sa batang nakatitig pa rin sa labas ng bintana.

“Bakit mo naman nasabi?”

Fayre let her eyes lingered outside for a moment before she met Cleann’s stares. “I don’t know, Ate. It looks so dull po. Parang ang dilim ng paligid niya . . .  ayoko po ng gano’n. It makes me feel alone and scared.”

Cleann gently caressed her hair. Parang binibiyak ang puso niya habang nakatitig sa mga mata ng bata. 

She looks so broken inside. It was like she’s completely staring at a lost soul. Just like the moon, her orbs weren’t shining. Life is slowly leaving her once lively eyes. Cleann could see through her the shattered pieces inside her. Underneath her wounded body lies a much deeper pain, something impossible to cure that even time wouldn’t be enough to mend it.

Her scarred heart.

No matter how much Fayre tries to mask her real emotions, she would always fail. Kahit ilang beses niyang sabihing kaya niya pa at maghihintay siya ay sariling katawan na niya ang sumusuko sa kanya.

She was still a child and she had already experienced the cruelness of reality. Araw-araw, gabi-gabi, kinukwestyon niya ang sarili kung bakit niya kailangang danasin lahat ng mga ito. Isa lamang siyang hamak na bata, wala pang kamuwang-muwang sa mundo. She was supposed to enjoy her childhood, living her life to the fullest like a normal child should do. Why is she imprisoned in this hell? Fed with pain, deprived of happiness, physically and mentally wounded?

“Mommy would always tell me stories about the moon every night. Hindi po kasi ako nakakatulog kapag hindi kinukwentuhan,” banggit niya.

“Do you want me to tell you one then?”

Isang tipid na ngiti lamang ang isinagot ni Fayre at pagkatapos ay marahan itong tumango. Iniligpit ni Cleann ang mga ginamit na pangpunas sa katawan ni Fayre at inilabas naman ang ointment na ipapahid dito. Umayos siya ng upo sa harapan ng bata at maingat na ipinahid ang ointment sa bawat sugat nito sa kamay.

“There once was a Moon, as ethereal as can be, only the stars could fathom, but the sun couldn’t. The Sun so radiant, he burns so bright,” panimula niya. “The moon so luminous, yet she only showed her face at night. She was impenetrable, enclosing herself in a cocoon of darkness. The Sun would do anything to catch a glimpse of the Moon shining brightly in the night sky.”

Fayre sat quietly as she listened to Cleann’s story. Sure, she had heard a lot of stories about Moon from her mother, but she had never heard of this one.

“Until he caught sight of her one day as the Sun was slipping out of the heavens. She was peering up, exposing a rarely seen side of herself to the light. And, although the Sun shone, he knew the Moon shone as well.”

She continued, “As the Stars drifted out into the night, the Sun, like a snowball hurdling down a mountain, fell in love. How he wished to see her move than the fleeting moments he shared with her at both dawn and twilight. They were, however, worlds apart.”

When Cleann was done putting ointments in her hands, isinunod naman nito ang binti ni Fayre habang pinagpapatuloy pa rin ang pagkukwento.

“Go.”

“That’s what she said to him one of those nights, her voice as sweet and sorrowful as the last light of morning.” Nang matapos sa kaliwang binti ni Fayre ay lumipat naman ang dalaga sa kabila. Fayre slightly flinched when the ointment came in contact with a large wound beside her knees.

“Go and let me breathe, for you and I have decided fates. You illuminate the day, and I cast a glow on the night. We will never be. Our connection would go against what all the people believe, all they know.”

“The Sun stayed a little longer that Summer in hopes that the Moon would change her mind. But no, she didn’t. Do you know her last words to him?”

Umiling si Fayre.

“Don’t you dare abandon your blessing of light for my darkness.”

“Ano pong nangyari sa kanila sa dulo?” Fayre questioned.

“The Sun respected her decision. His love for the Moon was beyond anything in the universe, so much that he had died every night just to let her true love breathe.”

She once again caressed Fayre’s head. “The Sun knows the Moon will shine brighter without him, so she let her be. The Moon, even though she’s alone, she’s shining.”

Clean sincerely smiled at her.

“Because she embraced the darkness. Please do know you’ll shine even more in the dark. You don’t have to be afraid of something that will show your real beauty.”

Tumayo na si Cleann at inayos ang lahat ng gamit na dala niya papunta dito. Mabuti na lang at hindi masyadong strikto ang mga bantay ngayon at wala ring nakakita sa kanya papasok dito. 

“Good night, Ate Cleann.” After she said those words, Clean bid her last farewell before fully exiting the room.

And there again, she was left alone in the middle of the night, just like before.