Chapter 4

Chapter 4

(Katrina)

I turned to see who just materialized behind me and locked eyes with Rowen. I was in shock, I hadn’t seen him in years. I didn’t even know how many it had even been. 

My heart ached at the sight of him, I don’t think I ever truly got over him, if I was being honest with myself. I didn’t even get a chance to stand up before he had me by my neck forcing my back into the nearest tree. 

I know I should have been afraid, but I honestly didn’t think he would hurt me. He tightened his grip though, which surprised me. “This is all your fault, Katrina.” He snarled in my ear. 

“What is? Rowen, you’re hurting me.” I cried. He released his grip a little on my neck, which helped, but I still didn’t understand why he was doing this. I don’t know what I did. 

He reached down and grabbed the amulet I had given him all those years ago. I thought he was going to rip it off his neck, but he didn’t. He just released me from the tree. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, and I could hear the pain in his voice. My heart sank, I knew The Others had found him and from the looks of it, it didn’t end pretty. 

I’m not sure why, but I didn’t move away from him. I reached up and grabbed my neck rubbing the area where his hand was and I looked up at him. I have never feared Rowen before, but I was terrified as we locked eyes.

My eyes were drawn to his neck where an upside down pentacle was displayed. This was the mark a Vampire had given him. But my heart sank when I realized it was black. The only time a Vampire’s mark goes black is when they have died. 

Rowen took the amulet in his hand again. "The Others were looking for this. ‘I truly did love you, but that amulet was more important than my feelings.’ Those were the last things Ivy said to me before I ripped her heart out for her treachery." Rowen said. 

My eyes widened in shock. Oh my god. I thought.  “As you can see, I am in a very fragile state right now… So you’d better start fucking talking, doll." He growled, and then took a few steps back giving me some space. 

I wasn’t even sure where to begin, but I realized at that moment that he wasn’t wrong. This was entirely my fault, everything he went through was entirely because of me. 

How could I explain this? How could I even tell him what I had done? I also betrayed him, and if my punishment was to die for it, then I guess this is how I die.

“Rowen, I’m so sorry… I..” I started to say, but he stopped me with his hand up. “Do I look like I want excuses right now? Because I don’t, Katrina. I want answers. I want to know why I had to rip the heart out of my mate… My mate that I’ve had for 176 years… All because of a fucking necklace!” He shouted. 

Rowen had never shouted at me before… He was in an anger induced craze and I honestly couldn’t blame him. I can’t even imagine having to be the one to take my mates life, I couldn’t do it. I can’t even fathom how he was able to do it. 

I took a deep breath in. “Rowen, I need you to calm down so we can talk. I can explain. It won’t change anything and for that I'm sorry, but I need to feel safe with you.” I said calmly, hoping it would help calm him. 

It didn’t. He closed the gap between us in an instant and grabbed my shoulders, preventing me from moving. “Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t be next?” He snarled. 

“Because, I love you. I still love you, even after all these years.” I said, without hesitation. The anger in his eyes softened the tiniest bit and he relaxed his grip on my shoulders. 

He then fell to his knees in front of me and put his head down. I thought he was crying, but he wasn’t, he was just sitting there. I sat down with him and took him into my arms. I half expected him to push away from me, but he didn’t. He laid in my lap with his arms around me and we sat there in silence for I don’t even know how long before he spoke. 

“Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. Ivy was my saving grace. She was my assistant… I didn’t know it, but she was only there because she was working with The Others. She was trying to get close to me, in order to get close to you. Get close to a Keeper... They promised her immortality in exchange for her keeping an eye on the amulet until they were ready. When I brought it home, it was basically a godsend for her. She was able to watch it for them with ease.” He said, and then he stopped for a moment. 

I was just running my hand through his hair listening to him talk. “I didn’t know about any of this. I fell in love with her. She helped me through a very dark time after I left you. I owed her everything. We were happy together. I came home from my coven meeting this afternoon and heard her conversing with someone, a man. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes. He wasn’t a Vampire, I don’t know what he was. He told her to get the amulet and not make him come back to my house for a second time.” He explained. 

Then he sat up and I could see the pain written all over his face. “How was I supposed to let her live? How could I have let her continue on, knowing that she’s a traitor? That she only cared about me to get closer to this fucking thing? I didn’t want to do it… She forced my hand. I fucking loved her... Now that you know what Ivy meant to me, explain to me why you should still be breathing after all of this?” He asked. 

I tried to keep it together, but I couldn’t. A single tear fell from my eye onto my cheek and I angrily wiped it away. “You’re right, Rowen. You’re fucking right. This is entirely my fault, all of it. I shouldn’t be allowed to live, not after all this hurt I've caused for you. I’m so sorry.” I said and I started to cry. 

“Please just make it quick, I don’t want to suffer.” I said between sobs, taking my face in my hands to brace for what was to come next. Rowen killed his own mate, I was nothing to him and I was just as guilty as she was… If not more. 

I was coming to terms with going back to The Otherside. I had a job at least, at TwentyOne. And I knew I could become an Ancestor. The small pep talk did little to comfort me, but it was better than going out in fear. 

Rowen grabbed my arm and I flinched at his touch, moving my hands from my face. He was standing and had my arm to lift me up to his level. 

I tried to wipe my tears away but they just kept silently flowing. Once I was standing he pulled me into his arms. “God damnit, Katrina. Why, just why!” He growled. 

“Because, it needed to stay safe. And I knew it would be safe with you. I never thought they would find it. I never thought they had spies. I should have said something, I should have told you. I was scared, and I know that's not an excuse. I’m sorry.” I said. 

"I’m so sorry.” I cried into his shoulder. He held me tighter but it didn’t comfort me. I was still terrified of him, he could literally kill me at any moment, but I would deserve it. I really would. 

He then pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes but didn’t say anything. “Are you going to kill me?” I asked him softly. I could see the emotion on his face and in his eyes. 

He was fighting an internal battle, and I didn’t know what side would win. “I should, I honestly should.” He said, and I didn’t disagree. 

“But I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve tried about six times, and I can’t bring myself to do it… Why, why can't I kill you?” He said with an exasperated sigh. 

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. 

"It's because I love you, doll. I apparently still fucking love you." He said with a groan and pulled away, turning his back on me. After what seemed like forever he finally turned back around and looked at me. 

“What do we do now?” He asked. “We keep the amulet safe… That’s the only thing we can do. The only thing that matters.” I said softly. 

I held my hand out for him to give me the amulet back. He went to take it off, but then stopped. 

“I haven’t taken this off since you gave it to me all those years ago. I can’t take it off… It’s like a part of me now…” He said, and he let it go, letting it fall back onto his chest. 

“I’m still upset, and I mean really upset with you. I’m not sure I can ever forgive you for this… Don’t take this as anything other than it is, but how do I keep this fucking thing safe?” He asked me. 

I tried to ignore the pain caused by his words. He had every right to hate me over this, and I wouldn’t even blame him. 

“I don’t know… We, The Keepers, have been trying to keep it safe for thousands of years. There are only two of us left, myself and one other. Once we are both dead, the amulet will be in their hands, and we can’t let that happen.” I said. 

“What happens if The Others get it?” He asked. 

“It opens Pandora’s box, and releases all the creatures that have been trapped there. It will be hell on earth…” I said.