2

Cora

The next few weeks go by much faster than I hoped they would. I haven't seen or heard from Michael and I think that it is for the best. I spend my time working and soaking up every second I can with my family. My grandparents are trying to hide the pain that they are in knowing that I will be leaving in the morning. I have always been much closer to them and I feel as if they think of me as more of a daughter than their grandchild. My father has always been rather cold when it comes to family and I think that it is a result of Chosen's teachings rather than what he learned from his parents. Affection is something that you just don't give and sex is merely the means to create life. The saddest part of it all is that when I look at my mother, I can see all the longing she has. She wants to be loved and cared for. She has sat by and watched my grandparents and she knows what true love is, she just hasn't experienced it for herself.

I think my parents messed up the relationship is that has shaped my relationship with them. My father and his cold nature have made it impossible for me to show him that I love him, although I often wonder if I do love him. Sure he helped create me and he has somewhat had a hand in my raising, but there is no connection there that feels like love. I see him as more of the sperm bank that filled my mother with the life that was me. My mother and I have an awkward relationship. I can feel that she wants to be close to me, but at the same time when you have been deprived of love for so long, you start to forget how to love another. All of these things have turned me into what I am today, and to be honest, I'm not sure what that is. I have decided to let fate chose my path and to give up some of what I like to convince myself is controlled.

I walk into my home and find that my family is there waiting for me. The looks on their faces are varying from sadness to a blank expression. I know that my grandparents are dying on the inside at the thought of me leaving, but my parents appear to be normal. I guess this is what happens to some who live under the rules of the Chosen.

"Cora dear, we have made your favorite meal and we want to spend the evening with you." My grandmother says in a voice that is almost breaking. My father turns and looks at my grandmother with a look that shows he thinks she is acting ridiculous. I hold my breath waiting for him to say something, but he surprisingly stays silent.

"Thank you, Grandma. I would love to spend my last evening here with you all." With that, she smiles and leads us into the dining room where we share a meal of roasted turkey and vegetables. The diner is awkward and I can tell that my parents are not comfortable with the fact that they have to try and act like they are happy to spend time with us. I can't help but wonder if this will be what it is like when I am gone.

Over my lifetime there has always been an awkwardness to my interaction with my parents. I easily felt love and closeness with my grandparents but not my parents. As I got older I attributed this to the fact that I was not made out of love. My parents do not share a bedroom and they very rarely would ever spend time alone. I think that along with affection physical intimacy was not something that they share unless it was necessary. These thoughts led me to wonder if this is what it is like for all the couples who came out of the reaping. Others in my village acted the same in public but you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

"Cora. I want you to know that you must not object to anything that happens tomorrow. The Chosen has set this up and they know what is best for us. Just remember what we talked about before, don't let them know how smart you are. It is safer that way. I also assume that you took care of making yourself un-pure." My father states to the whole room rather than just talking to me.

"I have not taken care of that as the person I was going to give that it has disappeared. I have decided that I am going to let fate handle all of this." I hear forks drop and my mother has a look of horror on her face. I can see that she is afraid for me and that makes me feel like maybe she does care more for me than I originally thought.

"Cora you know that not being pure is going to put a target on your back!" My mother yells as she stands up at the table. "There are awful people who would do anything to get their hands on someone pure." My grandparents sit there with shocked looks on their faces. We had many discussions on what was right and what was wrong with the question of virginity. I always felt that whether I was a virgin or not, being forced to be with someone is all the same. I was never in love with Michael, he was just the best choice that I had available. I know that love is something that I may never get in this life but what can I do. Running is not an option because it has been tried before and those who ran were always caught and killed.

"Mother I am very aware of this. I know that you are all concerned in your way for me and I thank you for that. I will say that I know that there are many possibilities of what could happen to me, but I am tired of worrying over something that I have no control over. I wanted to enjoy the little bit of time that I had left. I have heard from the leaders of the village that this year there is only going to be one hundred males and females for the reaping, and out of that one hundred, only Michael is from this village. That means that most likely I will never be coming back here." I hear the sniffles coming from my grandmother and I know that this is a hard conversation to be having. "I just want to enjoy my last night with you all. You will be able to watch the reaping so at least you will know where I go. I love you all so much, please don't worry, and let's enjoy the night."

The rest of the evening went by without any mention of the reaping. We all spent the night talking and reminiscing about my childhood. This was the first and only time that anything like that has ever happened. I feel at peace as I make my way to my room to get ready for bed. I had packed what few belongings that I had and got into bed thinking about what the next morning held for me. I fell asleep hoping and praying that maybe just maybe I would be able to find love with the man that would claim me.

The next morning came faster than I had hoped and I was incredibly tired from not being able to fall asleep due to my nerves. I was excited but also a little scared not knowing what would happen to me. Today I would travel to the center of the continent where the Chosen had their headquarters. There was a large facility there that would house all of those who were part of the reaping. Over the next day I would be traveling by bus to the facility and then starting tonight I would begin my assessments. Tomorrow would also include assessments and then finally the next day at noon would start the reaping.

"We love you darling and we are praying you will be chosen by a wonderful man who will cherish you." My grandfather says this as he and my grandmother pulled me into a hug.

"Don't fill the girl's head with that nonsense. She will follow what her mate says and will be a good woman and serve him. She has been taught this her whole life. Cora does not let these emotions or stories get you unfocused. You must obey and do everything that is asked of you." He looks around and my mother and grandparents in a way that makes me think that they are going to hear it from him as soon as I am gone.

"I will do my best. I love you all and please be good to each other. Father, I know that you are a man that follows the rules and that you want to do what the Chosen has ordered. Just please learn to open your heart to the family that you have. At the end of the day that is all we have in this life." With that, I turn and get on my bus leaving my home and all that I have ever known to go into the great unknown that is the reaping.